Just Another Autistic Person

Hi, I am an autistic person who likes science, maths and gaming. I also have the social skills of a rock so please forgive my inevitable social blunders.

[hanta96art]

Bulby 🌱🍃🌼

[justanotherautisticperson]

Awww cute 😊

[justanotherautisticperson]

Physical Contact

I have a question about physical contact and I was wondering if anyone could help me answer it. I don't know if this is an autism thing or if it's something else, but I'm really weird with hugs and who I let touch me. If I'm with my friends, they can hug me and I will really enjoy it because it feels really nice to cuddle friends and I'll initiate contact too because hugs are great but if my relatives (except mum) try and touch me I don't react well. I think it might have something to do with the time my aunt came up to me from behind and touched my shoulder without warning but I'm not sure.

[babyanimalgifs]

dogs with hearts - reblog to bless someones dashboard

[justanotherautisticperson]

If you're having a bad day have some dogs with hearts

[justanotherautisticperson]

Shoutout to teachers who:

- are really really passionate about what they teach - love teaching - genuinely give a shit about the wellbeing of their students and really want them to do well - want to be friends with their students - are willing to help and be accomodating for students who need extra support - make sure their students aren't overloaded with work and tests and will negotiate due dates with students if they have a lot on when work is due Seriously teachers like this are awesome

[lierdumoa]

To my friends on the spectrum, let me explain to you an unspoken social rule that possibly nobody has ever explained to you before

If a neurotypical asks you, “What game are you playing?” they’re not asking you to describe the game.

They’re asking you if they can play too.

If a neurotypical asks you, “What are you watching?” they’re not asking you to explain the plot of the movie/tv show to them.

They’re asking if they can watch it with you.

.

When neurotypicals ask you “What are you doing?” 

What you think they’re asking: “Please explain to me what you are doing.” 

What they’re actually asking:  “Can I join you?”

Now here’s the really fucked up part. If you start explaining to them what you’re doing? They will interpret that as a rejection. 

What you think you’re saying: [the answer to their question]

What they think you’re saying: This is an elite and exclusive activity for a level 5 friend and you are a level 1 acquaintance. You are not qualified to join me because you don’t know all this stuff. Go away.

.

This is why neurotypicals think you’re being cold and antisocial.

IT’S ALL A HORRIBLE MISCOMMUNICATION.

[bonehandledknife]

I didn’t realize, even thought it took me almost three decades to learn this, that this was such a paradigm changing realization until we had our conversation today.

But it really really is. One of the most bewildering realizations I’ve had is most people don’t talk to learn things unless its related to work or directly towards their own hobbies, all the words and questions are bonding questions if done socially. They are “lets make friends” questions.

So if I answer their question without an opportunity for the person asking the question to give a response or to join in somehow, the asker feels alienated and starts shutting down.

Example: what are you reading?

True answer but not what they’re looking for: Title of book

Best answer for social scenarios where I want to retain/create friendship: This book is about x and y but it has z that i know u have an interest in too.

Example: what are you doing?

True answer but not: drawing

Best answer for friends: I’m drawing but would u like company while I’m working?

And sometimes frankly I’m not in a headspace where I can process people so the answer is something like, “I would like to do something in a day or later, do you want to plan something?”

Tldr: communication is wierd

[survivablyso]

HOLY

SHIT

that explains so fucking much thank you

(why the fuck do neurotypicals never just day what they mean ie hey this show looks cool mind if I join you)

[bonehandledknife]

Further annoying?

They don’t realize that’s what they’re asking and they just feel rejected and go away. So you can’t even ask them what you did wrong because they can’t even put a finger on why they feel the way they do they just know you made them feel bad for some undefined reason.

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

I think it has to do, at least partially, with this.

There’s a whole lot of Guess Culture, at least in the US where I live, so that’s what I’m going to talk about.  What these people are doing is testing to see if you will offer them an invitation by expressing their interest in a roundabout way, because to their perception, just ASKING to join you is rude and invasive.  The math goes like this:

- If I ask you if I can join you to watch this TV show, and you don’t want me to, and you say “No, I don’t want you to join me”, then you look like an unfriendly ass.

- If you don’t want to look like an ass, because courtesy is so often performative, you would instead grit your teeth and say “Sure, of course I don’t mind” even though you do.  Now I’ve got what I want - I’m watching the show - but you’re not happy because your private enjoyment has been infringed upon.

- I have now placed social pressure on you to do what I want you to do.  You couldn’t REALLY say no because that would have resulted in social consequences.

- Therefore, instead of asking, I will merely express interest and gauge your response.  This saves us both some embarrassment because you can show me you’re not interested without directly rejecting me as a person, and I can salve my pride a little by attributing your rejection to other things - maybe you were just tired, or cranky, or distracted.  I’m still disappointed, but this hasn’t become a confrontation.

That’s basically how this social junk works out, and it’s why a whole lot of people don’t just say what they mean, or ask for what they need - they perceive that doing so is a form of social coercion.  In other words, they’re trying to be nice and respect your boundaries, but because you didn’t set those boundaries to begin with, the two of you are just missing each other entirely in this conversation.

[elbyjunk]

Exactly. It has little to do with neurotypical or neurodivergent, and everything to do with culture clash. 

If it were ok to say No, then Asking Culture would be more prevalent. 

Since it largely isn’t without “looking like an ass,” and being treated accordingly, then a lot of people conform to Guess Culture.  Especially here in the United States. 

It’s just that Guess Culture is more socially taxing and subtle, and neurodivergents have a more difficult time with it. Surprise! It’s almost like complex social structures are their Achilles Heel.

My family comes from Asking Culture, and it took me forever to conform to Guess Culture. It’s not cuz I’m “autistic,” thanks. I could go more into why I believe, personally, that Guess Culture needs dismantling, but that’s a soap box for another time.

[justanotherautisticperson]

This makes quite a bit of sense. Personally, I haven't experienced this much although it might just be because I'm from Australia and not the US and Guess Culture might not be as prevalent here. That or my tendency to take things literally means I never pick up on it in the first place. I find that it's less of a social error (with my neurotypical friends anyway) to say "hey mind if I join you?" if I want to do something with the other person. On the other hand though I was taught that it was impolite to invite yourself to join someone's activity or to invite yourself over to their house so yeah basically communication is just really weird.

[justanotherautisticperson]

Signal boosting for @ponateoe!

[batmansymbol]

OKAY TUMBLR. IT'S TIME TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Reblog this if you pronounce “.gif” as “GIF.”

NOT JIF,

GIF.

And here is the link for the opposite.

WE SHALL SEE WHICH ONE PREVAILS.

[justanotherautisticperson]

That wonderful moment when you check the forecast and find out that it's cold enough to wear your favourite hoodie on the day you're planning to go out

[aspergersissues]

I couldn’t wait for my queue to post this. I had to put it out immediately. 🤣

[justanotherautisticperson]

xD

[justanotherautisticperson]

To anyone who is having a bad day

Your problems are real and you are valid and no one can tell you otherwise 😊

[justanotherautisticperson]

How to make a glitter jar like the one in the GIF

Materials:

a jar with a lid (I used a pasta sauce jar for this one but any size jar works)

water

glitter glue, any colours

dry glitter, any colour (optional but cool. Also I don’t know if it’s actually called dry glitter but it’s the powdery glitter that doesn’t come off for ages if you get it on you)

silver metallic paint

something to seal the jar with when you’re done like duct tape or glue

Steps:

1: completely empty and clean out your jar before you start

2: fill the jar about two thirds to three quarters full with water

3: add glitter glue and dry glitter (if using), mixing it as you go until you have reached your desired colour and glittery-ness. The one I made is mostly blue glitter glue with a bit of gold glitter glue and some red and silver dry glitter. How much glitter glue you add is up to personal preference but the more you add, the stronger the colour will be as the colour of the liquid the glitter is immersed in is dependent on the glitter glue

4: add the metallic paint. There wasn’t much left when I made my jar so it’s not too obvious but the metallic paint is what gives the streaky effect when you spin the jar. Like in step 2, how much you add is up to personal preference but I personally think it looks really cool.

5: when you’re happy with what you have, put the lid on and seal it so the jar doesn’t leak when you shake it

6: enjoy your glitter jar!

[justanotherautisticperson]

I made a thing that does this when you spin it around. The lid is one of those ones were you can press it and it makes a clicky sound so it’s like a two in one stim :D

[dragonpyre]

Un-diagnosed autistic kid starter pack

“Wow, you’re so rude”

“Just eat your food, stop being so picky”

“Why are you failing this class, I know you’re smarter than this”

“I don’t get why you’re confused, it’s really easy”

“You need to get out more and talk to people. Stop playing with X so much”

“Why do you always wear that? Don’t you have other clothes?”

“Stop doing that thing, it’s really annoying/why are you always doing that?”

“Just hug him, he’s your Grandpa. I don’t care if you barely know him. Why are you being so weird about it?”

Me: Eternal screaming.

[justanotherautisticperson]

Relatable

[viridianforest]

Seeing as World Autism Awareness Acceptance Day is coming up on the 2nd of April here’s some reminders for allistics (non-autistic people)!

Do not support Autism Speaks, they treat autism like a disease and a burden and talk over actual autistic people when we disagree with them. Instead consider supporting organisations run by autistic people, such as the Autistic Self Advocacy Network and the Autism Women’s Network!

Support #RedInstead not #LightItUpBlue. (#LightItUpBlue was started by Autism Speaks while #RedInstead was started by autistic people as an alternative).

Don’t use the puzzle piece to represent autism (again, Autism Speaks does this - implies autistic people are a “puzzle” needing to be solved). Many autistic people prefer to use the rainbow-coloured infinity symbol!

Don’t tell autistic people to use “person first language” (i.e. “person with autism” as opposed to “autistic person”). Let them decide how they wish to describe themselves!

Autism has most likely always existed, it just wasn’t recognised until the early 20th century. Also no, autism is not caused by vaccines.

Remember that autistic children become autistic adults. Autism is stereotyped as being a children’s disability and resources are often tailored exclusively to autistic children and/or their families, completely ignoring autistic adults.

The terms “low functioning” and “high functioning” are generally considered to be outdated in addition to being problematic in that they are often used to deny autistic people resources/self-agency (i.e. “you’re too high functioning to need help!” “you’re too low functioning to know what’s best for yourself!”). Autism is a wide spectrum which doesn’t have just a “high functioning” and “low functioning” end but rather several different areas which we may or may not struggle with (e.g. sensory processing, social interaction/communication, organisational skills, etc) which can even differ depending on our mood, stress levels, etc. 

Please don’t use “autism”/”autistic” as an insult (or r*tard/r*tarded).

Please don’t tell us how we “don’t look autistic”. That’s not a compliment.

Please be patient with autistic people if we’re having trouble understanding what you mean or having difficulty accomplishing certain tasks. We’re trying our best!

Ask an autistic person you know about their special interest(s)!

Listen to autistic people when we talk about our experiences!

Many thanks if you reblog this post! Also, any autistic people please feel free to add to this post! (or point out if I’ve made any mistakes) ❤️

[justanotherautisticperson]

Seeing as Autism Acceptance Day is coming up, I feel like now is a good time to reblog this.

To add to this: the fact that we sometimes struggle a bit with empathy does not mean we are bad people or emotionless!

[justanotherautisticperson]

When someone asks me if I would like some tomato

[introvertcube]

An addicting, high-quality desk toy designed to help you focus. Fidget at work, in class, and at home in style. This Anti Stress Cube has six sides. Each side features something to fidget with: Click. Glide. Flip. Breathe. Roll. Spin. Main Ultra durable and extremely lightweight Help you stay relieved and stress-free, all day long. Shipping Worldwide!

[justanotherautisticperson]

Signal boost!

[autisticarchive-deactivated2019]

We need to talk about the fact that autistic men can get away with being “rude” and having aggressive outwards reactions to a much bigger degree than autistic women because while men are allowed to be loud and rude and take up space, autistic women are being socialized to be quiet and polite and take up as little space as possible. Autistic women are being forced and penalized into conforming to the sexist, neurotypical norms for how a women is supposed to act and as soon as we manage to conform, we are being told that we can’t be autistic because we don’t act exactly like autistic men. Sexism and socialization plays a major role in why women still aren’t being diagnosed with autism at the same rate as men and we need to talk about that.

[justanotherautisticperson]

THIS