S1lver

son of a gun, now I'm 26.

[verylittlebird]

a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.

[geniusoflove]

i hate when ppl complain abt hot glue guns like sorry u havent gotten to know ur beast. its like a horse you have to have a bond and work together

[catchymemes]

[monsttarchive]

she let the baby stay in there the whole night and decided to check in the morning lmao

[40ouncesandamule]

If her baby has to fight a ghost, that’s between the baby and the ghost

[pajamasecrets]

PLEASE JUST SHOW ME THE CASSEROLE RECIPE

[melrows]

For a split second my dumbass thought the Fukushima nuclear accident had fried the rice

[jayiray]

[vintagegeekculture]

1947

[dat-soldier]

kid had a great week

[nudityandnerdery]

Diversity win! The snowstorm keeping you from going to work is bisexual.

[hiehearts-deactivated20221106]

she ebbin on my neezer til i scrooge

[fortinbrasftw]

so, here's the thing. tumblr/apple can ban as many words as they want and it will never achieve their goal of "cleaning up" this site because this wretched nonsense poetry is somehow now the single dirtiest thing I have ever read in my life and honestly thank god.

[retrogamingblog2]

[mellifexfarm]

taken literally 1 minute apart

[pularia]

Ah, the ‘ol scream and sleep.

[marioclash]

im gonna need to see ur license and regist-  oh gosh mr washington i apologize have a nice day sir

[thebootydiaries]

11 months out of the year: life is a trainwreck

in december: life is a polar expresswreck

[izzetheking]

why do i always fall for the bad boys *thinking about Lord Farquaad*

[bookofjudith]

actually lil nas x is the only celebrity that exists

[sashayed]

me: okay, that’s enough. i can’t live like this. i gotta change my life. i gotta make moves

the world: ok here is an Opportunity

me:

[catchymemes]

[opossumgrl]

i really am an animal exhibiting behaviors

[pleasefireme]

Please fire me. I work at McDonald’s and last week I spent 15 minutes trying to explain to an old man they we do not sell hot dogs (McDogs as he claimed it) then he threatened to report me for “withholding products from him”!

[sinbadism]

hes from an alternate timeline

[cuttlefishlovr]

the McDogs man actually proves the multiverse theory