So I like hot stuff. Iām not like, a dick about it. I donāt brag because there are people out there that can handle waaaay hotter foods than me. Itās not a competition.
So Iām at Tijuana Flats, aĀ āmexicanā food restaurant chain famous for their hot sauce bar. All in all, what they put out on the bar isnāt the spiciest stuff in the world, but youāll find some delicious gems in there.
I immediately look at whatever is marked black as hottest for the day (they change them) and immediately go to pump some into the little paper containers provided whenā¦
āWhooaaa, sweetheart you donāt want to do that,ā
I turned around and thereās this skinny guy in jeans and a logo polo. Thereās another dude wearing the same shirt, so they must have come here from some sad IT job. Iām a little taken aback at this dudeās presumption that I am ignorant to what Iām doing, but I blow it off.
āNah, man, itās got the black label, I havenāt tried this one yet.ā
āAre you sure? Itās really spicy.āĀ
āIām pretty sure dude.ā
āI donāt think you should, because it was a bit much for me.ā
At this point Iām feeling patronized. I stare at him.Ā
āItās fine. Really.ā
āOooookay,ā He says in this exasperated, donāt-say-I-didnāt-warn-you kind of voice. I get my hot sauce and sit down. Food arrives, I taste it with a chip first to test. Itās super sweet, actually. I dump the whole thing on my taco. I donāt know if heās watching.Ā
I go up to the counter and ask the manager to ring me up a bottle of the sauce to take home. It was pretty delicious! Manager says heāll bring it to my table.
They bring it, I pay, and the server asks if Iām into hot sauces - of course I say yes. Hot Sauce Police is now watching. She brings me an assortment of sauces they do not serve at the bar because of liability reasons. One of them was rated at 1.5 million Scoville units. I bought all of them, signing the credit card slip as he watches.
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