Just fat and bones

this is pretty much a journal. progress on goals and habit building. relationship and personal drama (occasionally nsfw). random thoughts. feminist rants. some academia too. 28, she/her

[wvterways]

[healingcaffee]

Things that did wonders for my mental health:

having enough sleep and a fixed sleeping and waking time ( at least on the weekdays)

starting my day with gratitude (things to be grateful for: being alive, having a body, a mind, a soul, health, family, friends, food and water, safety, a roof over your head, your education, your job, your free time... seriously there is so much to be grateful for) and praying for my family’s wellbeing

any type of movement - it can be as light or as intense as you’d like it to be: stretch in bed, hop on your yoga mat, go for a walk, go to the gym...

showering = instant rebirth

diligently doing your skincare routine

nourishing your body. no counting calories/ no restricting. feeding your body all the nutrients it needs to function

making a to-do list in the morning

journaling at night

reading before bed

doing a monthly habit tracker

having enough time to get ready in the morning and not rushing

checking in with your loved ones weekly

listening to podcasts - especially motivational and uplifting ones

learning something new everyday - never underestimate the power of those 4- 8 minutes educational videos on youtube

doing yoga

allowing myself to make mistakes

[justfatandbones]

I have 2 goals that I want to focus on for the last 2 months of the year. Neither is really challenging but I want to get back into patterns of good habits. For November and December I want to:

Regularly stretch and/or practice yoga (3+ times per week)

Brush my teeth twice, and floss once per day

These are two simple things I know I can do but haven't always been the best at practicing consistently

There are plenty of other things I want to build as habits but I know I tend to overwhelm myself by trying to change everything at once. So I'm starting here for now. Future habits to work on could include: more intense workouts, improving posture, drinking more water, smiling more, hitting snooze less, practicing more creativity, journaling, deep breathing, etc.

[justfatandbones]

Coffee mug

our love was a mug of coffee

warm sweet comforting

fit perfectly to the palm

of your hand

but..

it left a bitter taste

on my lips

the caffeine surged through you

your veins ripe with passion

motivation was your mana

but..

I was left with the

anxious

crashing

draining

dependence

that comes from chasing

your prideful flow

on occasion

the coffee would spill.

sometimes

we'd quickly clean it up together

sometimes

just one of us would wipe it away

but..

sometimes

it would leave light stains

on the table top

it was easy to ignore

the discoloration

dyed in our discord

and disputes

who doesn't have

a ring or a chip or a stain

marring their collective surface

perfection would be boring

but..

one day

the mug broke

our coffee spilled

from the broken shards

over the table

and on to the floor

it was harsh

and sudden

but..

after that initial crash

there was a

slow

steady

drip

drops of our ambrosia

refusing to leave

the mug we had thrown together

then..

you surprised me

not by the carelessness

that led us here

but..

by

picking up

the shattered ceramic

by

slowly putting the

pieces together

by

gluing them

back in place

by

painting the cracks

a bright gold

you told me it was fixed

it could hold hot brew again

but..

all I could see

was a broken mug

[buboplague]

Happy Halloween 

[justfatandbones]

An ex casual hookup reached out for the first time in months with this 😂😂

[c3rvida3]

My new meds make my skin throw a fit. It’s not terribly bad, just a few things here and there, but it’s bumming me out because I’ve never really had too many run-ins with acne.

My four-year-old sister, however, is under the impression that it’s just “3D freckles”, and that they look very, very pretty. She wants all of my freckles to “pop out”, especially the ones across my nose; they’re her favourite.

And it puts me in this weird position where I can’t say, “No, this is acne, and it’s bad,” because I don’t want to teach her that it’s a bad to have unclear skin, you know?

Because the more I think about interactions I have with children, the more I realise that children will consistently compliment “flaws” until they’ve been taught not to.

Like, a kid at the library, whose sister has vitiligo, saw my scars once and suggested that his sister and I should be cats for Halloween, since I have “tabby skin” and she has “calico skin”. “I can be a black cat,” he immediately added. “It’s not AS cool, but they’re the spookiest.”

When I started losing weight, my little brother immediately demanded that I gain it back, because I wasn’t as comfortable to cuddle with anymore.

And my other little sister always wants to wear her paint-stained clothes to school so that “everyone can tell [she’s] an artist”.

I don’t know. I guess talking to little kids just reminds me that all of this superficial shit we worry about really is 100% made up.

[justfatandbones]

an update on my personal journey and accountability to being more than just fat and bones. the past year I've worked a lot on my self- and body-image, and I'm genuinely happy with who I am for the first time. like everyone, I still have room to improve and I want to be healthier physically, mentally, and emotionally too. I'm going to document my habits and progress more on here. I think I'm ready to work on losing a little weight and, more importantly, building some muscle too. HW: 265, SW: 260, GW: 230, UGW: 170, CW: 260

[justfatandbones]

August 14th, 2021

Day #6 of 75 Soft

💪 - did 3 Chloe Ting videos. I might try doing one of her 1 or 2 week challenges during my 75 Soft program

💧 - done ✅

📚 - I tried a new coffee shop today and read for over an hour, it was quite nice and relaxing 😊

🥦 - this felt like my best days so far during this challenge food wise!

[justfatandbones]

August 13, 2021

Day #5 of 75 Soft

💪 - 10 minutes on the bike + a FitOn video. I'm proud of myself for working out even after having a few drinks

💧 - done!

📚 - read another chapter of Atomic Habits on my lunch break

🥦 - did pretty good. Went out for drinks with my coworkers and had 2 beers 🍻

[justfatandbones]

August 12, 2021

Day #4 of 75 Hard

I woke up this morning with a super upset stomach so it wasn't an ideal day today...

💪 I took my rest day for the week today. I did walk around the neighborhood for quite a while though

💧3L down

📚 I read my pages in the morning. I think I'm much more likely to accomplish these tasks/habits/goals if I perform them early in the day as opposed to saving them until late after work

🥦 I didn't eat a lot today (wasn't feeling well) but what I ate was within my food guidelines

[justfatandbones]

August 11, 2021

Day #3 of 75 Soft

Workout: 46 minutes on the stationary bike. I did this while wfh and listening to a seminar so I wasn't over exerting or anything. I was roughly 50:50 with resistance 2 and 3 and went for a total of 9 miles.

Water: this has been the easiest one so far, done!

Read: read chapter 3 of Atomic Habits. Surprisingly this was the most difficult of the 4 tasks today. I'll try to read earlier in the day tomorrow and not leave my reading until 8:30pm.

Food: Still not great, but okay so I'm counting it. I didn't binge or anything but I had quite a few snacks throughout the day (possibly because I'm pms-ing?). I did eat my 5+ fruits and veggies and incorporated protein into all of my meals though.

3 days down. Let's make tomorrow even better!

[justfatandbones]

August 10, 2021

Day #2 of 75 Soft

Workout: 30 minutes on the stationary bike followed by a 15 minute home dumbbell workout.

Water: well over my 3L!

Read: read chapter 2 of Atomic Habits which focuses on reevaluating and adjusting your identity to build habits.

Food: definitely not perfect but I met all of my goals- lots of fruits and veggies and protein in every meal. I kind of emotionally ate some sweets in the morning since I was feeling guilty about breaking things off with my fwb last night 😅 Obviously not ideal but overall I think I ate well enough today

[justfatandbones]

August 9, 2021

Day #1 of 75 Soft

I'll be following four main goals for this program: workout, drink water, read, and eat well

1. The goal is to workout for 45 minutes every day with 1 rest day per week. That being said, I'll count pretty much any focused activity as a workout. I may follow a fitness video, do calisthenics, yoga, roller skate, stretch, bike, go for a walk, etc. Today I:

Followed FitOn Beautiful Body Sculpt (26 min). I really like how the trainer, Jeanette Jenkins, has such a positive and encouraging attitude! I did simplify some things and/or just use body weight instead of dumbbell, but I want to focus on form and sustainability rather than intensity.

Stationary bike (10 min).

Some random arm circles and stuff?

Followed FitOn Get Your Back Back (16 min). This had some really great stretches!

In total worked out for 52+ minutes

2. Drink 3 liters (102 oz) of water daily. I'll count any water-based tea (as opposed to milk-based) in this too. At the end of last year I was drinking a gallon of water (over 3.5 liters) a day and it was a bit challenging at first. Today though I've already hit my 3L goal and will probably drink a little more water and maybe a cup of tea still!

3. Read 10 pages a day. This can be anything- I don't have any restrictions about this being entrepreneurial, self-help, non-fiction, etc. I read the first chapter of Atomic Habits by James Clear today. I don't know why but I had previously assumed that this book wouldn't be good/interesting for me. But it is such an easy, engaging read so far

4. Eat well. I'm purposely trying to avoid words like diet or meal plan when I talk about this. I've struggled with disordered eating and don't find it beneficial to explicitly prohibit certain foods or over plan my meals. Still, I will:

eat 5 fruit and veggies per day. Aim to have at least 1 per meal

incorporate protein in every meal

keep moderate portion sizes

only drink alcohol socially

limit takeout

I have successfully completed day #1 :)

[justfatandbones]

August 9, 2021

75 Soft

I've been interested in the 75 Hard mental/physical toughness challenge since I first heard about it early this year. You know that kinda insane set of rules:

But I knew I wasn't personally in the right headspace or of the right physical fitness to complete it, let alone complete it in a healthy manner (but then again it's this really healthy for anyone?).

Part of the reason my last relationship ended was because my partner was 'hard' and I was 'soft'. While hard and soft may describe our respective physiques haha it also represented our ways of thinking, problem solving, showing love, seeking comfort, finding motivation, you name it.

So when the 75 Soft challenge started showing up on my tiktok fyp the other week I knew it was for me. Because as my ex liked to remind me, I am the softest person he knows. (We're actually still friends and he's a great guy, acting salty just builds a better narrative 😂😅). That being said, 75 Soft is still a lot of hard work and will be a major challenge for me. The rules state:

And as someone who has not worked out consistently at all and has ordered way too much takeout in the past few months, that's a lot. Quite possibly more than I should be taking on at once...

But I need a challenge. I need a plan to follow and to stick to. Something to motivate me and help reinstate healthy habits. So here's to 75 days of being soft. Of pushing myself while also being mindful and respecting my mental, emotional, and physical health.

I'm planning to post here daily (?) with updates on my progress to help keep myself accountable. So feel free to follow my progress or join me if you like! It will all be worth it.

[justfatandbones]

June 24, 2021

I've been feeling off this entire week. I didn't meal prep. I haven't been working out. My sleep schedule is off.

I need to find my motivation and get back on track.

[justfatandbones]

June 23rd, 2021

I'm near the heaviest I have ever been and I'm probably in the worst shape of my life.

I got here by having inconsistent health habits (my entire life) and by prioritizing comfort during hardship. Especially this past year with the panorama, leaving a toxic work environment, starting a new (way better!) job, losing family members, moving to a new city with my partner in the middle of winter, breaking up with the partner a few months later...

I'm currently about 20lbs heavier than my previous highest weight. So goal #1 is to lose 20 lbs to weigh 230lbs. This definitely isn't the only goal, I really want to prioritize getting stronger, feeling better about myself, and building long-term sustainable habits too.

I'm treating this tumblr as my personal journal and I'm hoping that since it's public it may keep me a bit more accountable. Obviously being the first post I don't expect anyone to read this haha. But if you do: hi, I'm so glad you're here! Let's help each other grow. Feel free to reach out or send me asks. And if you have any advice you want to share I'd love to hear it😊