The level of entitlement and this whole attitude of “he should do this or that,” “what he’s doing is pathetic,” “he owes us this,” etc. — I’ve seen it in every corner of the fandom, from solos to larries. Obviously, when it comes from solos or general fans who don’t take the closeting factor into account, it doesn’t surprise me — because yeah, a lot of things they see don’t make sense unless you consider that. But if you know they’re closeted, then you at least have some understanding of how complex their situation is. Although I feel like that awareness can be a double-edged sword — because on one hand, you can appreciate, recognize, and admire the level of resilience and strength it takes to deal with all that, but on the other hand, when you see that person seemingly making peace with it or “playing the game,” you can feel disappointed, like they’ve betrayed that rebellious spirit, given up, and “become part of the system.”
And you can really see that reflected in people’s expectations whenever a promo cycle starts. Some expect L or H to come out, to stop lying, to avoid questions about things they clearly can’t avoid (like public relationships or bbg), to tell their full truth, to expose or speak badly about people who once oppressed them.
But honestly, I think it’s contradictory to expect that level of honesty from two people who:
1. Have been closeted since they were teenagers and have faced intense oppression, losing all control over something as intimate as their identity and sexuality;
2. Have built careers around projecting a public image that was imposed on them since their teens,
3. Have been (and still are) under extreme public scrutiny;
4. Often have to choose between something bad and something worse;
5. And of course, we don’t even know 80% of what their situation actually is.
It’s honestly absurd to me that some people feel entitled to dictate how they should handle their careers or their closets — or to accuse them of staying closeted “for money,” or of lacking honesty, or of “never saying anything.”
If you know they’re closeted and you understand their circumstances, then you should also understand that we’ll always get something like 60% truth and 40% narrative.
Just because they share something deeply personal in an interview doesn’t mean it’s erased when they mention a certain person or say a lie right after.
What I hate the most is when people imply they lack courage or call them cowards or compliant just because they’re not living up to expectations you built in your head — or because you don’t understand the situation and are only seeing one part of it.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned from L and H is that two seemingly contradictory things can be true at the same time. The desire for freedom and the desire for privacy can coexist. Just like you can hate the system you’re in while still loving your job and what you do.
That’s life. Nothing is black and white.
Take a bow, anon. Well said.
tangentwithtanner
gummygunk
prguitarman
blakekathryn
romaincrisis
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