au where sparrow ben (is honestly the same amount of unhinged, and) devises a different kind of plan for taking care of the umbrellas.
really shot myself in the foot by giving klaus the most obnoxiously unreadable font but i have to stick to the bit
the other sparrows tell ben what they think of his plan:
script, incase the text is hard to read:
Klaus: HELP! I'M ABOUT TO GET KIDNAPPED! AGAIN!!!
The rest of the umbrellas: what's going on?
Ben: it -- it's okay! you know me, right?
Ben: of course! i'm the other--i mean, the real ben! i got all my memories back! i'm your brother!
Ben's poster: MY PLAN: impersonate dead alternate version of me
Fei: yeah, that'll never work
Ben: what?? how do you know? i've only told you the first step!
Marcus: well, it's just that from the way the Umbrellas described him, he seemed to be...
Sloane: emotionally intelligent?
Christopher, in Christophesian: honestly, from what i've gleaned, it seems the alternate version of you has been dead quite a while, and everyone except that skinny poltergeist had little to no interactions with him before meeting you. it's entirely possible that as a way of coping with his early death, or perhaps even with their entire subpar childhood, they've projected all their desire for care and empathy onto what they imagine their brother could have been. all this to say, as long as you act kind and patient they'll probably believe you.
Ben: hm. good point, christopher. man, why would they miss such a pussy?
Marcus: see, this is exactly why you're not equipped to--
Fei: shhh. i want to watch this play out
Ben in Sloane's pipe dream: i've become a better person via method acting!
Fei's raven: we outta treats
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