Request: I know i literally just sent you a request, but I thought of one more? A Headcanon about Justin’s first few weeks as part of the Jensen family. Like I can just see that he still can’t believe these nice people would want him, and that’s a struggle
A/N: this took so long I’m so sorry but I hope u like it
When clay first told him they wanted to adopt him, he couldn’t believe it. His heart sped up and his palms got sweaty, he could feel the distant feeling of hope swelling in his chest, but he wasn’t really sure what it was. With everything he’s been through, hope wasn’t exactly something he felt often, or even wanted to feel. He probably misheard him, so he tried stopping the grin making its way across his face.
Only to fail miserably, because even the thought of being adopted was too much not to smile about.
after realizing clay was serious, his heart sped up again, only to drop a second later. Like a rollercoaster that kept going up only to come down so suddenly it makes you wanna barf.
The tears that came to his eyes weren’t a surprise to him, he found himself crying more often than not, it had become something usual to him, like a bad habit he couldn’t control.
What did surprise him was the happiness and peace he could feel beneath all the doubt and fear building up inside of him and coming out in the form of salty tears stinging his eyes and wetting his lips.
“ok, yeah. I’d like to be adopted”
his voice cracks from everything he’s feeling and he doesn’t even care at this point, because holy fucking shit, he’s gonna have a real family
He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to waking up to the smell of breakfast in the morning
The first few nights, he thinks it’s a dream.
Which results in him annoying clay until he actually hits him in the arm
his embarrassment comes out in the form of a red blush coating his cheeks
The nightmares have him shaking and he wakes up crying. Looking around his new room he doesn’t recognize it for a second before realizing where he is, and everything looks so empty.
He hates how alone he feels
He contemplates going to Mr and Mrs Jensen’s room, then realized he didn’t know what to say, or how to explain why he woke them up at 3 am
So he goes to clays room instead, and kind of just awkwardly stands there until clay huffs
He opens one eye before the other, “you gonna stand there forever? Because it’s kinda creepy”
Justin let’s a relieved breath and laughs a little, before mentioning that there isn’t a couch in his room anymore
“just share the bed with me, you idiot”
Clays bed definitely isn’t big enough for two teenage boys and none of them can get comfortable
But they both love that they can just lay there knowing they’re there for each other.
And for the first time they actually feel like brothers
They wake up with Justin’s elbow in clays face and clays knee digging into Justin’s stomach
“Get the Fuck off me, Jensen” “get your fucking elbow out of my nose jus”
When Lainie finds them in that position she bursts out laughing before scolding them about being late for breakfast
After that it’s not unusual to find them squished together on one bed
“Maybe we should get you a bigger bed”
They refuse saying that it rarely ever happens
Even though it does, almost every day
When Justin starts to miss his biological mom he doesn’t know how to deal with the guilt that comes over him
He goes to Alex for help and ends up staying the night because he’s just so scared of facing them right now, and he feels like such a hypocrite
Neither of them say anything, and Alex doesn’t push because he knows he’ll only talk when he’s ready
Instead they watch movies, play video games and eat food he’s not allowed to eat on his bed
It’s about 2 am when he finally says something after taking a deep breath
“Does it make me a bad person that I miss her?”
He doesn’t specify who but Alex can tell as soon as he turns his head to look at him
He let’s himself fall asleep believing that
He wakes up to 5 missed calls and dozens of texts
He panics before reading them over and seeing that they’re just concerned because they have no idea where the hell he went
And his heart fills with that feeling of happiness and belonging yet again
When he gets back home he cherishes the hug and kiss on the forehead he gets from Lanie and even the punch on the arm from clay
Family movie nights are his favorite nights of the week
Even if him and clay always argue over the remote. Or anything really
Mr Jensen is looking for his glasses when he finds out he’s using again
Justin gets up and takes his bag, saying over and over again how sorry he is
Matt sighs and shakes his head
“what are you doing kid?”
“I- you’re gonna kick me out right?”
He can’t help but flinch when he starts to approach him, thinking he was gonna hit him
Only to be met with a hug
He never felt so safe and then everything just comes pouring out and he’s sobbing into his shoulder
“You’re our son now. We’d never kick you out”
And then they’re both crying
They sit down with Lainie and talk about it, and they just wanna get him the help he needs
He promises them and himself that he’ll try harder, because even though it’s hard. It’ll get better
It’s already getting better
And for once he believes that
When they finally sign the adoption papers, he’s proud to call himself a Jensen
And somewhere finally feels like home
Sorry that was so shitty udgdjd
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