I'm thinking about my awful man that could be so much more complex and used to be, Zeus❤️❤️again❤️❤️
Idk you were the first mutual that popped into my head that i could annoy with this
Hell yeah I love complicated Zeus! Some thoughts that are hopefully on a similar frequency to yours:
- Zeus saying sometimes he wishes he never married Hera. Hera hears "I hate you" but what he meant was "I worry that our marriage has brought you more pain than happiness."
- Kid Zeus wondering what his older siblings will be like once he saves them.
- Zeus having all sorts of complicated feelings about Percy because the last person who was destined to defeat Kronos was himself, and he went on to become king of the gods. So what's Percy gonna do in the future?
- Zeus being glad that Athena and Poseidon are rivals because her brains combined with his power would make him nervous, but at the same time he feels like a real piece of shit for not wanting his daughter to get along with her uncle.
- It's rare that Zeus indulges in it but on occasion he can be a massive troll. There's one story where Apollo challenges Zeus to an archery contest, and Apollo goes first and shoots his arrow to a mountain on the other side of Greece. Zeus walks over there in a single step, picks up the arrow, and says "So what are we shooting at?"
Also idk if you've read it but if you don't mind a little self-promotion, my story End of an Era on AO3 has some complicated Zeus if you're interested.
*in my AU the Kronides/big six are 12/13 (Zeus) to 19 (Hestia) at the beginning of the Titanomachy.
Percy: You're-You're good why are you letting your children fight? You're kinder than the others.
Rhea: ....I have to.
Rhea: We couldn't wait for Zeus to be of age.
Thalia: Bullshit! there's so many adult titans that all want to take down Krono—
Rhea: —Don't say his name. Names have power...
Rhea:...
Rhea: *sigh* Look at my children's feet, look at how scarred they are. Hestia has a limp, I don't know if you've seen her walk in your future but gods are not meant to have limps. That is a bad sign, that is a sign that it was only a matter of time before their godly healing stopped healing and they'd be Gone.
Percy: there has to be another way, Themis, Metis, the Hekatonkhieres, you, Prometheus all of you! You could have done it. One of you could have thought of a different way. They're kids!
Rhea: the prophecy said children of His (Kronos) would overthrow him, not us. We had no choice. There is no one else, it has to be them to deal the blow. We can only help. This is the sacrifice we have to make to survive.
Thalia: ...
Percy: ....
Nico: ...it's not fair.
Rhea: It's not. But it's all we can do.
Wyd if you are so used to gods using their kids to fight their battles but meet the one god (titaness) that truly doesn't want to let their kids fight a battle but it's the one time that there truly is no option. We have to send these kids to war but you know what will happen to these kids and their kids?
Wyd when Fate is an unavoidable, unchangeable thing and Time is very much not on your side, so you have to sacrifice your children's childhood for the greater good and survival and there is no way around this as much as you want to.
Wyd if this sacrifice messes them up so they become bad people who mess up their children in a different way and causes their children to attempt to copy their sacrifice.
Dear god I love this. Something about seeing where the cycle started, seeing that there is nothing that could have been done here because here it had to happen.
But it didn't have to happen in the future. They could have broken the cycle, except for the fact that it is all any of them have ever known.
Of course Zeus will not blink at children fighting a war for him. He was a child fighting a war for the adults that were supposed to protect him.
Also side note: After seeing your stuff about the titanomachy I can never look at the oldest Olympians the same way again. You have fudemntally shifted how I see them in PJO. I hope you're happy.
My latest angst Big Six + PJO hyperfixation scene:
Percy: We were child!
Zeus: And so were we!
(Me who hcs the war to start when Zeus was 16 bur also that Zeus was literally groomed for this moment and the war since day one.
[And possibly all the others too- that’s a different hc from a fic tho. But Metis and Leto and all the Satyrs & Nymphs that helped him were also probably heavily groomed too, to follow Zeus’s every move at least unless they gain Rhea’s wrath]
{Also I hc Poseidon to be 17, Hades + Hera to be 19, Demeter to be 20, and Hestia to be ~25}])
honestly this is so real.
I like to think there is a meeting going on between the gods and Demigods.
And Zeus and Percy get into like a fight about you know gods sending their children off to fight at such a young age and Zeus is getting really heated and angry and a siblings are like realizing they're like. Oh shit he's getting pissed. That's not good.
They try to calm him down but Percy is still pushing it and he says.
"We were children!!" And Zeus responded with the "So we're we!!" and everyone was just like.... What do you mean.
And then his siblings take him out of the room and tell everyone the meeting is over.
But in all realness I really love this and I really want to hear more!!!
[ID: A person stares in slack-jawed despair at their laptop screen. A string of question marks lines the background behind their head in a single row. /end ID]
Did it, like, ever occur to RS that by making Hera divorce Zeus, she made her play right into the hands of one of the very women she so despises, Thetis??
Zeus & Hera seperated, just like Thetis wanted. In a roundabout way, her gaddang plan actually worked. Well done Hera, you let the outcome of your marriage fall right into the trap of the "stupid little PA," & "some nymph" who wanted you to leave Zeus in the first place. This is coming from someone who was very much hoping Zeus & Hera would reconcile their differences somehow during the comic, but noooooo, RS had to victimize her "strong female protagonists" yet again for the umpteenth time and the result was a needless *:･ﾟgIrLbOsS*:･ﾟ divorce that felt just as contrived as everything else in the finale.
*SOBS*
Everything in the penultimate episodes regarding Zeus & esp Hera made me realize that out of all the poorly written plotlines in LO, theirs eats at me the most. They both have major potential to be very complex, morally gray characters, and there have been so freaking many opportunities for RS to have them redeem themselves. BUT that should only come after they wholly acknowledge their faults and make genuine, lasting changes in their behaviors.
This may sound silly, but I LOVED reading the handful of scenes in the comic when Zeus & Hera were amiable and affectionate with each other. So them having not even somewhat of a happy ending together makes me extremely sad, and I'll never forget what they took from us. ୧((#Φ益Φ#))୨
This is exactly why I decided to create a short spin-off of my LO rewrite comic dedicated to Zeus & Hera's relationship after some rather interesting concepts for a rewrite came (and continue to come) to me out of the blue.
Though it wouldn't be edgy or dark ('cuz I ain't cool, that's a certain genericpuff's job lol), the main focus would be the emotional rawness (Emphasis on rawness o(〒﹏〒)o) of Zeus & Hera coming to the realization that when push comes to shove, they genuinely love each other, all the while striving to right their wrongs and stop the world from crumbling around them (As per the major events in LO).
It obv isn't quite myth-accurate, but as I've said before, my rewrite overall is a reconstruction of all the characters & events in LO rather than the myths. Meaning a lot (but not all, ofc) of the og traits & such found in LO will remain in my comic, but ofc with the narrative portraying wrong as wrong & right as right and leaving room for actual genuine growth & change, unlike the og comic.
Now to actually start putting all this crap together fr, well...
“Zeus was the real villain” is so overdone, let’s try “every god and goddess had what humans in modern times would consider flaws and let’s maybe not play morality Olympics with an ancient religion”. I’m not sure what to tag this so…yeah.
Annabeth: I want to be an architect so that I can build something permanent.
Percy, who was eight in 2001 and living in New York: Are you ... sure buildings are permanent?
Hiiiii I rlly wann say that I love lore asgard!!! Im excited for chapter 9!!! :3
Are there any other focs like lore asgard that are anti lore olympus? I know abt lore rekindled but idk about any others
Oh yeah, definitely!
There's The Goddess of Youth - A Lore Olympus Fix-it Fic , A fic that's centered around Hebe and her mission to save Olympus from Apollo, it takes place some time after Hades and Persephone's wedding (1/? Chapters, 1.3k words)
Illicit Affairs, where after finding out that Hades is cheating on her with Hera, Persephone starts an affair with Zeus...and shit goes down. (21/21 Chapters, Series, 41.2k words)
On The Long Way Down, where after being broken up with by Hades, Minthe takes Persephone and gives her a tour around the realms to show her what she would truly be signing up for...also it's gay/pos (5/6 Chapters, 18.6k words)
Lore Miclan, where Persephone decides to run away and join the Norse Pantheon. She however, after following an intriguing dog, ends up in the Aztec Pantheon. Meanwhile, Demeter and Hades go look for her and reopen some old wounds in the process. (1/10 Chapters, Updates every Friday, 1.3k words)
And that's all I know really, hopefully you'll find what you're looking for/genuine
i sit down to write and suddenly i am the most distracted human alive. the chair is uncomfortable. my coffee is too hot. my playlist isn't quite the vibe. i need to research what victorian houses smelled like in 1872 for exactly 45 minutes even though my story takes place in space. and yet the moment i'm trying to fall asleep? every single sentence i've ever needed just lines up perfectly in my brain like some kind of creative parade i'll never get back.
For real, actionable advice feel free to skip ahead to the second big text. tl;dr look around the red text.
Why do people write this?
Typically advice for depressed people is written by people who aren't depressed. That does make sense since depression makes it so much more difficult to do things. Things that are done are most often done by people that find it easy to do things.
For the author, a making a cup of tea or sitting outside for a few minutes are examples of something that is a "free action". You might here someone express the belief that "willpower is infinite".
I used to think I could walk forever up until I did so for 9 hours. What is going on when someone writes this is that they never had to come up to these limits before. That leads to advice that isn't helpful to the people that need it most.
This is also a problem with physical exercise. Most people think of running or lifting weights as typical starting points. But what does someone who can't stand for long do?
The same principles apply, you stretch the muscles, they break, they repair. It's just that when you are starting from scratch, lifting the leg and standing or what have you is enough to do that.
So I am depressed and can't get out of bed. What do I do?
Just like with exercise we start small.
Think about breathing manually. This is impossible to fail. You don't have to do anything besides think of breathing. And yet, as you do it it is proof you have some control still.
Wiggle your fingers. Open and close your hand.
Move your arm. Lift it up. It can be just at the elbow to start
Put your hand in a position to push you to the side. It's okay if this just gets you to your side. That is progress
Get the legs involved. You can start with the toes, then ankles, then up to your knees
With more limbs involved we can shift over to the edge of the bed
Get some legs off
Sitting position
Now stand up
Reading this you may find that it doesn't take that many steps. That's great. You may find that it takes more and that you have to recover from each one. That's fine too. The important part is that you gained some progress each time. Even if you fall back, it gets easier and easier to do the same thing, just like building muscle.
At the end of the day, no one is going to know how many steps you used to get out of bed. The trick is that when something seems insurmountable you break it down into small enough steps that the next one is doable to you personally.
Once you get it done, then that's as good as anyone else.
actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.
and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”
listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.
For all the centuries I've been, I never thought I'd see the day when I could really be free. Free from everything.
It took time, more than it should have, but finally I’ve seen this as the way.
We all know the story of how this kingdom got to be. But, as absurd as it seems, no one really knows me. And it hurts. It hurts because everyone thinks that if nothing is heard, there is nothing to say. That couldn't be farther from the truth.
But to just say what was seems disingenuous. Like it doesn't really matter anymore.
For the longest time, that was true for everyone. For the longest time, that was true for me.
Even going through the same things as the other five traitors, somehow I'm always the outlier that should not be counted. For centuries, I’ve been othered for not having physical scars like them, for not being traumatized like them. After so much time, after believing it for so long, I've come to the realization that not reacting to it like them isn't the same as not being traumatized. Not having a mark in my body to prove my experiences doesn't make them any less real.
After all my deeds and wrongs, after all of this; I've realized, I just can't stay here. I've been trying so hard the last few years to see what is real and what is my mind’s doing. I’ve finally, finally, noticed how much my worsening mental health has affected my job.
So I have decided to take my own advice, to just stop, to prioritize myself for once. And I can't do it here.
I have tried, I really did, but my mental state affects how I act. How I act affects how I am perceived. How I am perceived affects my mental health. It's a vicious cycle. One I cannot allow continuing. I’ve tried to be good, I really did. I don't think anyone noticed. I don't think anyone cared.
For all this, and so much more, I abdicate the throne.
I wish I actually had the words to describe what I feel. But since I do not, the best I can do is apologize.
I apologize for not being there for you while you were fighting your trauma.
I apologize for not being able to realize how your behavior wasn't a sign of absence of trauma, but a coping mechanism for it.
Being honest, sometimes I can't notice how hurtful some things I do or say are until it is too late to take it back. To this date, I still keep myself awake at night, reminding myself of every little thing I have done decades ago and never noticed how bad it actually was.
This isn't an excuse, just an explanation.
I am sorry for all the times I made you feel dumb, or isolated, or lesser, and never apologized.
I am sorry if I have ever done something so messed up to you, you wouldn't ever be able to forgive me, and didn't even realize.
I am sorry.
I cannot be sure of when my mental health will be good enough to come back, if ever; but if I manage, I would be honored to spend some time with you again.
Never a good enough king.
Never a good enough brother.
Never traumatized enough.
Never suffering enough.
Never enough for you to care.
I understand you have your own problems, that maybe finding yourself as more needy for help than others might make it somewhat better for you, that you might feel more stable that way.
What I cannot understand is how you never doubt it. Maybe it's just because of our different coping mechanisms and mental illnesses from trauma. But I can't possibly comprehend how you could see your own younger brothers, both who had fought a war alongside you at the age of 13 and 10, and determine that they aren't hurt at all.
That, despite being through a deeply traumatic experience, despite having the same exact experience as you in our brother’s case, despite you knowing nothing about me, we just didn't need help. At all.
I'm sorry if I was a disgustingly horrible brother to have. I'm sorry that you had to live through that. But so did we.
As deeply as I love you, I cannot forgive you for this. The impostor syndrome and the survivor guilt you put me through. The impostor syndrome we probably put Poseidon through.
I know I'm a horrible brother, a horrible king, a horrible lover, and a horrible person, for all I have ever done. But what makes you horrible, it's that you refuse to admit your flaws unless to guilt-trip me. All of us.
As deeply as I love you, I hate you. I wish I could forgive you, but I'm too far gone for this shit.
We should have broken centuries ago. I'm sorry it took so long.
I'm sorry for everything I have ever done. Both good and wrong.
I'm sorry for loving you but not being able to prove it to you.
I'm sorry for never being able to fully trust you.
I'm sorry. We don't deserve each other, not because one is too good for the other, but because we're both too hurt to completely see each other's pain.
I have tried. And, for my peace of mind, I chose to think you did too. I cannot be sure, I guess I'm just too insecure and have too many trust issues to see it.
I wish I could tell you directly, but I am too afraid. Afraid that we'd fight, afraid that you'd convince me not to go. This letter will have to do.
With this letter are the divorce papers, I only keep my more essential domains and a few things for my first few months in exile.
The rest you can do what you want with. Keep it, sell it, burn it. Whatever makes the time we had collecting them more worthwhile.
As for Olympus, you can keep it as well. I am not in the correct mind space to care for it.
The best I can wish for you is to heal enough to see the hurt in others. And I wish that for me too.
I know I have been a horrible father, I've tried to be better but failed.
I know I am a horrible person, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to completely correct my behavior.
I'm sorry you had to deal with me. I'm sorry now you have to hear my problems.
I know I have affected all of you. I know it's my fault. You can blame me as much as you like if it makes it even a bit easier for you.
I'm not sure if I'll ever feel well enough to come back. I'm not sure if you'll ever want to see me again. But if the stars align, and our fates intertwine once more, I'll be glad to have you, I'll be glad to talk to you.
This letter is for all of you.
For the children I had with Hera, who never knew a day without a fight.
For the children from my affairs, who feel embarrassed about me being their father. For the children, who do not even know if I am or not.
For my demigod children, who never have known peace. For the mortal children, that proclaim to be mine in search for safety but suffered the consequences of being associated with me.
For my godly children, who will never forget what it was like.
For my adult children, who see the effects of being related to me in every action they make.
For my underage children, who can't completely understand what is so wrong about me.
For my children, who are alive.
For my children, who are dead.
I'm sorry I couldn't be what you deserved.
I can only hope someday, somehow, all of you can pull through this. That all of you can find some peace at last.. — Your father, Zeus.
There are so many things I am sorry about, it'll be easier to explain why.
With a lot of research, I have found that my tendency for short-lived relationships is probably a way to cope with everything.
Sometimes everything is way too much, and the deeds manage to make sense out of it. I don't have to think to do it, I just do.
And, for a brief moment, the safety I feel it's unlike any on Olympus.
It is quickly replaced with feelings of uncertainty and regret, but that moment is so high I succumb to doing it over and over again.
This isn't an excuse. I know that I shouldn't, that I should have more self-control. This is an explanation, I am addicted.
It isn't a surprise, but what no one ever told me is how debilitating it can be. There are times when it's the only thing getting me out of bed, even if it's the same thing putting me down in the first place.
This all it's to say, I'm sorry. I am sorry that my addiction affected you.
If I could, or knew how to, get the high without hurting anyone, I would. I don't want to hurt anyone.
I am sorry I hurt you.
I wish I could do something to fix it, but I can’t. — Zeus.
I'm sorry that part of the little I did do was worse than doing nothing.
I'm sorry for ever making you afraid. For making you wonder if the storm would hit anyone.
I'm sorry I was almost all you got. I'm sorry I am worse than having nothing at all.
The only thing I can think of wishing for you at the moment is a better leader.
For all of you, I wish for a leader that's actually capable. That can make small choices without breaking down. That will make Olympus better than what I can even dream.
