resurrection.

[jxsontodd-archived]

Indefinite Hiatus/Leaving

Long time no post, which is my bad. But life happened and tumblr was...tumblr. 

After thinking about it really hard the past few months, I think I’ve really kind of fallen out of love with roleplaying on tumblr and tumblr as a community. The past few years, I’ve really watched the RPC here become such a toxic and unfriendly place that really has very little to do with writing or roleplaying anymore. The bullying and peer pressure, and general attitudes towards fandom and how we treat each other have been really getting to be for a long time. To the point where it’s sort of warped my relationship with fandom as a whole. 

As such I’ve decided I’m leaving, and I won’t say I’ll never come back, because I don’t know. But I don’t anticipate doing so anytime soon. I never fell out of love with writing or my muses, or the friends that I made here, and that matters too. I really will miss writing here with people and having a fun time with our characters, and it’s a shame that I can’t really find the joy in it very much anymore. 

I’ll be posting the same notice on my other blog ( @delphiia ), and if anyone is still looking for me or cares then my personal blog is @thesamestars my instagram is here (though it’s mostly just my cosplay) and my discord is queenkitters#5713. Anyone is welcome to track me down and come talk, I promise I’m not dropping off the face of the earth or anything. 

So yeah, it’s been fun, thanks for the good memories.

xo

-Kit

[jxsontodd-archived]

cnuasach‌:

    Guilt was a telling emotion. Their family had a fair share of it all around, but somehow, Riley tended to hold onto more so than the rest. It hardly remained a secret how much the eldest regretted what happened to him. How would an older sibling feel any different? Jason may have not seen them that way, yet she felt not only responsible for him but entirely at fault for leading him to such a path. Riley seemed to live with the scars of many ‘what ifs,’ but she didn’t want everyone else too. Hypocrite. 

      Jason gains a pointed look at his requests, “I’m sure we could convince someone to do some drugs and make a scene. It would be fitting.” Still, reality held onto the conversation with a thick layer of dampness. Riley didn’t blame him for being hurt. She didn’t blame him for being angry – hell, she had been too when those threats arose. Jason had never needed a cell, but the Red Hood’s return hadn’t exactly offered much in the way of reasonable compromises. “He’s not been the greatest father, and I’ve not been a great sister. No one is arguing that point with you,” Riley reminds him faintly. “I just meant, while I want you to be okay, I don’t expect you to be perfect. If you need help, I’m here. I’ll always be here so long as my own funeral doesn’t get announced.” In their world, it was always an option.

          He hated how often their conversations ended up here--maybe it was part of the reason he tried to avoid speaking to her but once every blue moon. Because, despite what people might think, Jason didn’t want to talk about it. About any of it. He never did. He didn’t want Riley--or anyone--poking around to see if he was doing okay, because he never was and he probably never would be, and he didn’t want to have to deal with piteous looks that would inevitably just make him hate her as he had before. And most of the time (only most of the time), Jason didn’t want to hate her.

        “I’m sure someone’ll be willing. Even if they don’t give a fuck, people love to make a scene. Especially at a funeral.” But even the nonsensical topic of conversation didn’t make the air in the room less heavy. Didn’t make it feel any less crushing, didn’t lessen the constricting feeling around his rib cage whenever anything even approached the topic of how he was doing. At some point even the patron saint of lost causes got sick of constantly being the family screw up. “I don’t want help.” He replied bluntly. “So you can stop holding your breath and let go of whatever guilt ridden obligation you’re clinging to for dear life. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

[jxsontodd-archived]

i am deceased my cause of death is the rhato annual which is everything i needed to soothe my soul. the break up line, the kori cameo, the “among family” line abt the outlaws and just roy and jason being good and wholesome? everything. this is how i die. i’m so happy honestly.

[jxsontodd-archived]

cnuasach‌:

     No, that wasn’t enough, and Riley very well knew him smarter than to think it would be. This certainly wasn’t the first time Jason had gotten such an inquiry from the elder of the two. It was her job after all, even if she hadn’t always been the best at it. Then again, she wasn’t foolish enough to pretend he didn’t know that as well. They hadn’t exactly had the best model in familial affections. Still, she kept coming back even when he pushed her away. That counted for something, right?

      “Well, I would be a little concerned if this was how you choose to kick the bucket officially. I always pinned you for the death drop from an exploding plane or something melodramatic,” Riley teases him faintly, trying not to push too hard and get met with his insurmountable brick wall. Sinking down to sit by him, she can’t help but let a beat of silence pass before she tried again. “You don’t have to be okay, you know? No one expects you to be fine, and I don’t expect you to be completely sane or even forgiving after what you’ve gone through.” He knew that, she hoped, as Riley was the last person to judge him right now. 

         And there it was. Of course she wouldn’t just leave well enough alone. She never could--Riley needed things to be okay between them, between her and anyone really. Or at least to a point where he didn’t actively loathe her (which granted, he didn’t most of the time anymore). Either way, it was leading to a conversation he was usually too tired to have, but that didn’t seem to be stopping her. No, instead she just seemed to be getting closer.

          “I promise it’ll be dramatic. I expect a better funeral this time. Full attendance. Someone needs to throw themselves dramatically on the coffin, crying. I expect my cat put into full mourning wear and to be treated as my orphaned child.” He drawls--pretty elaborate plans for an event he would inherently not be attending. But Jason’d always had a flare for the dramatic. “--no offence, Ri, but literally the past six years have proven the exact opposite. But I’ll keep that in mind the next time B tries to have me locked up in a padded cell. Tell him to call you.”

[cxttodd-deactivated20190114]

@jxsontodd

“And this is why gotham is a hellhole. you never know what’s gonna happen next- like your adult son is now a teenager.” fingers pressed hard into her forehead as she tried to cope with the fact that this was happening. to her. and him. 

“okay, baby. do you know who you are? or who i am? or better yet remember what happened?”

[jxsontodd-archived]

His head hurts, everything is too bright and he’s not entirely sure how he got here--so he suspects a concussion. But B’s not here, it’s the middle of the day and he’s definitely not got a cape on. And he might not be conscious--or maybe it’s a hallucination. Jason doesn’t know, but he doesn’t remember anything that should account for this. For her.

“--you’re dead. What’s happening? Where am I?”

[jxsontodd-archived]

“ Create your own sunshine. “

four word sentence starters | accepting 

            “That is the most you thing I’ve ever heard. Did you find that on a motivational quotes pinterest or something?” Jason snorts, glancing over at her--and the worst part of it all was how sincere Belle looked. He’d never met anyone who was so goddamn sincere all the time, and it was kind of killing him a little. 

            But she smiles a little like sunshine and maybe that’s what she means--maybe it’s easier for her, just comes naturally, all that happiness. Maybe to other people happiness isn’t a house of cards that might come toppling down at any moment. But he wants to subscribe to whatever she’s got, he thinks. Maybe he can learn. “How does that even work, huh? Well?”

[jxsontodd-archived]

cffierceness‌:

      “so i’m guessing the krav maga training i have wouldn’t help me much against assassins?” the words were followed by a long sigh knowing what he’d say. otherwise he probably wouldn’t be there. fingers ran though her hair exasperatedly before she continued on with her questioning. “so what do you know about this late wife? i seriously need to have more information on her and what the hell is going on here. like does he want me dead? was his wife a witch- metaphorical and literal. i mean i’m just a doctor.”

          “krav maga might be enough to fend off muggers, not born and bred assassins. sorry. wish i could tell you otherwise, but life ain’t fair.” and it definitely wasn’t going to get much better for her now. a shame, really, gotham could use more doctors--and she seemed nice enough. normal. too normal to get caught up in this. “me? fuck all. i know her name and that’s about it. she’s been dead for a very long time. centuries at least. well that’s the only good news i’ve got for you--they’re all on life capture orders. so i would say, without exaggeration, you’re functionally immortal at the moment.”

[jxsontodd-archived]

aranece‌:

“But-” And now he’s even waving a hand in front of Jason’s face. “How can you even see out of those tiny holes? Do you hate peripheral vision?”

            Jason swats the hand out of his line of vision almost immediately--he does not carry guns and C4 with him to have people’s hands all up in his business. “My peripheral vision is fine, your common sense is a bit fucking lacking though.” 

[jxsontodd-archived]

“ Are you really alright? “ ( from meddlesome and overprotective sibling :P )

four word sentence starters | accepting

            Logically, he knows that should be an easy question to answer. Generally the sort of thing that had a yes or no sort of response. But it wasn’t, it was never that simple with them and he knew she wasn’t looking for a simple answer, and Jason hates her a bit for that. Hates that she always digs in and tries to get him to talk. It’s always either that or blatantly pretending he doesn’t exist. Family was complicated like that.

          So he goes with the easiest answer he can muster; “I’m not dying,and I think that’s enough, don’t you?” No, she didn’t. Riley never did. None of the bullshit answers he’s given her over the years (and there have been many) have ever been enough for her, and he resented her in the first place and he resents her even more for never accepting them. “

[aranece]

@jxsontodd

“Just wanted to make sure you were awake.”

[jxsontodd-archived]

“And now that you’re sure, buzz off. Before I find some bug spray.”

[jxsontodd-archived]

thedarkempath‌:

   "We need to talk about it.“ She didn’t need to explain what it was— obviously they both were on the same page in that aspect. Her eyes flutter shut, hands coming up to cradle her head as the lingering pain from healing mixes with the surge of emotions coming from them both- a perfect cocktail for a headache. "I know how you batboys handle emotions–” To be perfectly honest, handling this situation the un-sensitive way Jason would want is what Raven is trying to avoid. "As an empath, I won’t— I can’t— just brush it aside.“ And, as a last ditch-attempt, she adds a quiet, “Please.”

     He knew exactly what she was talking about--it had been something of an elephant in the room for days now. Unavoidable, not that Jason hadn’t tried almost too hard to see if maybe, just maybe, he could manage it. He couldn’t. Trying to do so was suffocating him, and he was beginning to live in fear of the wedge it might push between them. “Well that’s a rather huge generalisation. I like to think I’m managing well given the circumstances--and the competition.” But that was, as always, the petty competitive streak in him where the other Robins came in. “--fine. Only because it’s hurting you, and I can’t--,” contribute to that. 

[cffierceness-deactivated2019021]

@jxsontodd

     “-so you’re saying that this several hundreds of years old man is interested in me because i look like his dead wife?” she makes ONE visit to gotham to check in on an old patient of hers and finds herself sucked into the madness that was gotham city. suddenly the doctor finds herself nearly attacked by assassins and approached by the bat heroes of the city. “and he’s still alive because of some pits based off the bible? that bring the dead back to life- am i getting that right?”

[jxsontodd-archived]

        “that is exactly what i’m saying.” jason replied, looking as thoroughly unimpressed by the whole thing as this poor woman was. honestly, he pitied anyone who drew too much attention from ra’s. it seldom ended well for anyone, and certainly was never going to end well for her. “look, i never claimed it was going to make a lot of sense, or that it wasn’t completely bat shit. you asked what was going on, and i’m telling you.”

[jxsontodd-archived]

"....-pokes the helmet-"

          “--can I fuckin’ help you, bug boy?”

[jxsontodd-archived]

“ Who are you, really? “

four word sentence starters | accepting

         “What the hell kind of question is that?” Probably the kind of question a 10 year old budding superhero would ask. He doesn’t know what else he expected honestly. “I thought you were all buddy-buddy with the brat, he can tell you everything you need to know.” Not that Damian of all people was going to give an especially generous overview of Jason as a person, but at least it would be coherent, it would make sense. Which the truth of the matter never did. 

          It just never quite added up right. “Go home, kid. Don’t think about it too hard, you’ll hurt yourself.” For all that he could snap at him, swear--hell, he could try and beat this particular ten year old black and blue without leaving much damage at all--Jason had always been soft where kids were concerned. Especially one’s who were as undoubtedly well meaning as Supes kid. 

[jxsontodd-archived]

"Did you have fun?" (Let her cuddle Darcy as she makes a home out of your couch)

four word sentence starters | accepting

            “--it wasn’t awful.” He doesn’t know what Cass’s whole thing is about Jason having a social life--he doesn’t really want one, he’s fine with his status as a budding hermit. Besides, vigilante activity was not conducive to any kind of healthy social life. That’s why they all flocked together. Because no one else kept such bizarre hours, or understood why you had to cancel on all plans for a month because of a stab wound. 

        But still, she persisted, and he went out for three whole hours mostly of his own volition. Mostly. She’d threatened to kidnap his cat if he didn’t, and assured him if he bailed any sooner than the agreed three hours, she would be in his apartment to take the cat before he could get home. “Are we good? Have you met your quota for my socialisation for the week? Can I take a nap now?”

[jxsontodd-archived]

“ We need to talk. “ / from francis, the white bird :)

four word sentence starters | accepting

           “Uh oh.” Could there be any larger alarm bells than that? Francis was not a talking sort of person--and this suited Jason just fine, because for someone who talked as much as he did, he never really said anything of any importance. And Francis didn’t like to talk about anything that mattered either--or much at all. And it was fine. 

           Except that apparently it’s not. “What happened? Is the sky falling? Did someone die? Did you die?” All very valid questions, in his mind, his tone light enough in the hopes that none of those options were actually on the table. “Seriously kid, you’re freaking me out. What happened?”

[jxsontodd-archived]

“ I am not afraid. “

four word sentence starters | accepting

           “Maybe you should be.” The words fall from his lips without thinking; he’s not dealing with just anyone. Jinx is powerful, that’s not a secret. It’s never been a secret, and it’s not him doubting her as much as it is wariness. There’s just about always a reason to be afraid, isn’t there?

        But hell, if she wants to go through the door into the potentially fucked situation first, then he isn’t going to stop her. Jason shouldn’t be here anyway. Anything involving the sort of trouble Jinx knew well, should not involve him. “But by all means, if you wanna be the tough one.”