How Much Dialogue is Too Much?
Do you have a min-max percentage for dialogue in a scene or tips on conveying more through action? Sometimes it seems like the conversation is super important but then when you look at how much space is taken up, it's off-putting.
This is a great question, and one that I really had to think about. First let me preface this by saying, Iâm just going to explain what I do. This works for me, but it may not work for you. In the end, youâll have to take what I say and weigh it against your own judgment. Writing is incredibly subjective.Â
That being said; do I have a min-max percentage? Nah. I play it by ear.Â
It is true that a chapter or scene canât be ALL dialogue. Then you end up with what is commonly referred to as a âfloating headâ problem.Â
I had that problem a LOT with my first few manuscripts. See I love dialogue. Dialogue is my favorite thing to write. Itâs my favorite thing to read. So this question is really perfect for me, because I am one of those writers who often goes overboard with dialogue.Â
I donât have any hard and fast rules I use or any particular percentages I go by (although I can see how such tools might be useful to other writers). I do try to break up long sections of dialogue, but I do it more intuitively, just by looking back over what Iâve written and seeing where there appears to be too much talking. I look for places where I can break the dialogue up without ruining the flow of the conversation, and there are a few ways you can do this.Â
Here are some other story-telling elements you can sprinkle into long conversations between characters:
-small bits of action that emphasize the dialogue.
If the character is angry, they could huff, stomp their foot, roll their eyes, cluck their tongue, or throw their hands up into the air.Â
If the character is sad, their lower lip could tremble, tears could fill their eyes, they could take a shaky breath, or they could sniffle.Â
If the character is nervous, they could twist their hands together, they could tug at a strand of their hair, they could pick at the edge of the dress, or they could swallow or lick their lips.Â
Small bits of action can easily be sprinkled in AS dialogue tags.Â
Hereâs an example of what I mean from my novel âDesire and Destruction.â
~ Her eyes widened. "Wow," she said, looking back at the fire in her hand. "You're younger than I thought."
"Older than you though, right?"
She shook her head. Her long brown hair fluttered against her back. "No, I'm twenty-six." ~
The bolded parts are the small bits of action breaking up the dialogue. When I wrote my first few books, I had an awful habit of writing entire pages of just dialogue, without even a few small bits of action like that.Â
Something else you can to do to break up large chunks of dialogue is use internal dialogue. Use the POV characterâs thoughts to add some variety to your scene. This can often enhance the dialogue, because you get a front row seat to the emotions and perceptions of at least one character. (A bonus bit of advice here, and this is mainly for newbie writers: make sure you are only including the thoughts of the POV character and I HIGHLY recommend sticking to one POV per chapter or scene. Yes, omniscient third is a legitimate POV, Yes, it was all the rage in the Victorian era, Yes you technically CAN do omniscient third if you really really want to....but like....donât....it is really unlikely you will do it well, and when people attempt it, it rarely enhances the story and almost always hurts it. This is commonly referred to as âhead hoppingâ and almost nobody has the skill to do omniscient third without it coming across as head hopping. So one POV per chapter or scene, and include only the thoughts of the POV character).
Now, here is an example of breaking up dialogue with internal narrative, also from âDesire and Destruction.âÂ
~Â "Should we take turns?" Ingrid asked.
"I won't look if you don't."
Ingrid laughed. "You're bashful, Cole?" she ribbed.
He really didn't want her to look. He was skinny and pale, with freckles on his chest and acne on his back. He didn't think his package was anything too impressive. "Hey, you're the feminist here," he quipped. "If I can't look at your tits, you can't look at my junk."~
Here I broke up the dialogue with Cole stressing out over his insecurities (yes, I fetishize the fuck out of insecure men and yes, I realize itâs a problem, but then also.....I mean...isnât it a nice counterbalance to all the cocky, arrogant male leads? I donât know..). Including this bit of internal narrative both fleshes out his character more and shows where he is in terms of his arc (heâs still very insecure at this point in the story) and it also adds some explanation to the dialogue. Without including his thoughts, it may not be obvious to readers why Cole is insisting Ingrid not look at him and becoming prickly when she teasingly asks him if heâs bashful. It breaks up the dialogue and reminds readers that Cole has many body image issues. It adds interesting depth to the scene.Â
Or...I sure hope it does lol
Sometimes a writer will do a writing advice post and include their own work, but their writing does NOT accomplish what they intended. OOh boy....hereâs hoping thatâs not whatâs happening here
You can break up dialogue with setting description.Â
This is my least favorite storytelling element to write. Itâs my least favorite element to read. When thereâs too much of it in a story, my eyes glaze over and I find myself skimming. (See that never happens to me with dialogue. I LOVE to read and write dialogue. I guess thatâs why I donât have any hard/fast rules for not writing too long a chunk of it).Â
There is a need for some setting description, and I think dashes of setting description here and there add nice flavor to the story. This can be a great way to break up dialogue and slow down the pacing of a conversation (particularly great for conversations that need lots of tension and build-up).Â
Here is another conversation from âDesire and Destruction.â This one has some setting description sprinkled in throughout the conversation.Â
~Â "Can we talk about something else?" Cole muttered. "Aren't you somebody too?"
Ingrid shifted in her seat. "Who? Me?"
Cole nodded, still slumped in his seat with his arms crossed, not looking at her. A light on the gate's camera flashed.Â
The gate slid to the left, allowing Scott's car to enter. He pulled in and drove through the rows of cars.
"That reporter knew who you were," Cole said quietly. "She said something like 'they picked two winners.'"
"So what did you do? Sounds like you did something."
"I didn't plan a mass murder," Ingrid snorted.
Scott pulled into a parking spot directly in front of a discreet door. It was set into the dingy concrete of the darkened space, almost imperceptible.
"You still did something."
Ingrid glared at him. "I don't think I like you."
"Most people don't." There wasn't a hint of inflection in his voice. He stated it like it was an objective fact, nothing to get upset about.
"Okay, kids," Scott announced. "Looks like we're in the clear. Let's move before they sneak in through the cracks."
They climbed out of the car, their doors slamming in the silence of the parking garage. Scott held his badge up again in front of a scanner next to the door. There was a faint beeping and then a buzz. Scott pushed the door open. Ingrid followed him inside, with Cole trailing behind.
They trailed down a fairly innocuous hallway. Ingrid looked around at the deserted rooms, many of them with doors propped open. Her heels clacked over the scuffed linoleum. Overhead, about half the fluorescent panels had burnt out. Two of the remaining ones were lit, but flickering violently, giving the hallway a shaky, frenetic appearance. The space smelled of chemicals and plastic. All elements considered, it was nothing at all what Ingrid had expected.
At the end of the hall, they took a left, and continued down another short hall, this one with thin commercial carpeting, like the kind you'd see in a public elementary school. Ingrid had only visited a public school once, for her cousin's holiday concert, but the strange scratchy carpet had stuck out on her mind. When she'd commented on it, her mother had said that all public schools had carpet like that, cheap and durable.
They rounded another corner, this time entering a large lobby much more opulent than the dingy hallways they'd traversed. The gleaming room shone with chrome and marble and one wall was all windows, giving them a view of the street. The journalists still milled about outside.
"They can't come in, can they?" Cole asked.
"They might try," Scott quipped. "A few were in here earlier." Scott waved to the two people sitting at the desk in the center of the large room. Other than the three of them, they were the lobby's only occupants. "Abigail, sign in Ingrid and Cole, would you?" ~
This is an example of a scene that has the dialogue broken up by setting description, action, and internal narrative. I also tried to kill a few birds with one stone by using Ingridâs internal narrative to give some character backstory. When she describes the commercial carpet, she remembers seeing the same commercial carpet in her cousinâs public elementary school. So that line accomplishes a few things: it describes the setting the character is currently in, gives us character backstory and tells us something about who Ingrid is: she comes from a privileged, upper-class background and had a private school education, but I wanted to also imply that she isnât judgmental about economic status. She doesnât look down on the public elementary school kids. I hoped to imply this in the way Ingrid doesnât use any negative descriptors. She only describes it objectively. However, Ingridâs mother uses the negative descriptor âcheap.â By doing this, I was hoping to do a classic âshow donât tellâ and imply that Ingridâs mother is a real snot and her relationship with Ingrid is very strained, mainly due to her motherâs persnickety and judgmental personality.Â
All of that is to say, every line you use to break up dialogue can also be used to accomplish other storytelling goals, like fleshing out your characters, giving their backstory, or giving the readers glimpses into how they relate to other characters.Â
To wrap-up, I donât find it off-putting to have a lot of dialogue. I love dialogue. But I do find floating heads off-putting. So my advice is to look for ways to break up dialogue with action, character thoughts, setting description, and (as long as you arenât going full flashback scene mid-conversation) short snippets of character backstory.Â
I do this intuitively, just by reading and sensing, seeing where Iâm starting slide into floating heads territory.Â
That being said, personally, I find long chunks of text without any dialogue off-putting, and I cringe every time I publish a chapter that has NO dialogue (hey, it is necessary sometimes).Â
All I can really say is look for places where you can break up the conversation in those organic and interesting ways.Â
I hope that was semi-helpful!
