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how long does it take zuko to convince his staff that he isn’t gonna slap, punch, beat, banish, or otherwise assault them?
that they aren’t about to lose their job (or life) over a spilled cup or broken vase?
that he’s not trying to trick them when he says they can relax the ornate and complex flattery each time they leave the room?
that he means it when he bans corporal punishment in the palace (and out of it) and that they really can come to him if someone forgets that rule?
that they haven’t upset him or wronged him when he asks to take his meal without the full serving staff of twenty watching him?
zuko is sensitive, even when he tries not to be, and watching these people be so afraid of him would break his heart. but that also means we gets to see it when they begin to open up to him.
firelord zuko who’s feeding the turtleduks when a toddler comes running over. she almost topples into the water but zuko sweeps her up before she’s in any danger. he holds her in his lap and shows her how to feed them gently. when the mother comes careening out screaming for her child she stops short at the sight of zuko and collapses into a bow, head to the floor. she begs forgiveness but zuko shakes his head, and offers his hand for her to stand. he hands over her daughter, asks the girl’s name. his guard calls him back into meetings so he leaves with a smile and a bow to both of them. it’s the first time a child hasn’t been afraid of zuko here in the fire nation, and he smiles all week
firelord zuko who spends months trying to win over the kitchen staff enough the let him make his own tea. they refuse at first (as much as one is allowed to) and stand on principle. but zuko is patient, so patient, so he begins to visit the kitchens once a week. he tells the head chef he’s going to come, it’s not a surprise. and he just thanks the staff, asks their names, maybe mentions an earth nation dish he had that’s native to a region who’s dignitaries are coming. once he’s been a few times he asks about their lives. simple things, never much more than yes or no answers; he doesn’t want to force them into speaking more than they’re comfortable just because he is their firelord. but 10 months in, and he finally convinces the guards, tasters, and head chef he can make his own tea. the head chef still insists on checking the tea as it comes in (special shipment from the jasmine dragon of course) because he’s been working in the palace for a long time and he’s seen many leaders but zuko is the first firelord he’s actually wanted to serve. and he’s seen this 18 year old kid trying so damn hard to help the palace and nation heal, tying so hard to win favor with his dishwashers, that he wants to keep safe. he may not prepare the tea, but not a leaf gets to the firelord that isn’t personally checked by him.
and in a couple years, the permeating sense of fear and dread begins to leech out of the palace. maybe the maids start humming in the corridors, maybe the washer women laugh and talk as they go about their business, maybe the royal dressers don’t flinch at the scars all across their young leaders skin anymore
maybe the country is being run by a smart, kind, genuine young man who works tirelessly to restore their honor as people of the fire nation. zuko brings music, art, poetry, dancing and life back to the fire nation. he teaches the wisdom he learned from the sun warriors and old masters: fire isn’t just hate and death. it can be life, light, a sun blazing inside you and he fosters that light in his people. so they can shed the last 100 years of hatred together and foster a new nation of peace
mark scheifele & blake wheeler wpg @ min | 12.21.19
11.26.2019. vs stars
get you someone who can do both
So like
What if it’s not Boba Fett who gets eaten by the Sarlacc?
He’s paid like five people to wear the armour and hunt using his name, while he’s off raising warriors on Mandalore or the old family farm on Concord Dawn.
The Dread Pirate Roberts of the GFFA. He gains an incredible reputation for being unkillable.
Dude franchised himself.
Unknown bounty hunters with a reasonable skill level can borrow his name and a suit of armor, and the fat bounties he gets contracted for, for a reasonable startup fee and a sizeable chunk of the proceeds.
He’s totally not raising money to fund the takeover of the galaxy by the renaissance of Mandalorian warriors. That’s just a myth. By the way, would you like to join the ranks of the warriors of Mandalore and maybe rule your own planet someday?
(He’s got a helm cam thing that keeps track of where all his doubles are at. After the sarlacc event happened he un-retired himself and put on his old armor just to show up at a New Republic political event just to scare the hell out of Han Solo himself.
“Near the time of this production Nimoy told a newspaper writer, “Although we are essentially a humanistic show, the Enterprise is heavily armed and a lot of guns get shown. My way of avoiding participation in the violence was the Spock Pinch. I decided that Vulcans knew so much about the human anatomy that they could knock out an enemy just by pinching a nerve in the neck and the shoulders.” Nimoy approached Leo Penn with his idea. Shatner had been listening in, so when Penn asked for a demonstration, he quickly volunteered to be the guinea pig. Nimoy recalled, “I applied pressure to the juncture of Bill’s neck and shoulder, and he most convincingly fell into an ‘unconscious’ heap on the floor. Thus the famous neck pinch was born, in part because of Bill Shatner’s talent for fainting on cue.””
— marc cushman, these are the voyages, describing literally the best cast of all time ever (via spicyshimmy)
Leonard Nimoy: Can anyone here help me demonstrate this thing by overzealously fainting on command?
William “drama is my middle name” Shatner: my time has come
enemies to lovers who are still pretending to be enemies for the reputation
Someday I really want someone to make a series about a team of magical girls, expect they’re all adults now and thought their days of saving the world with the power of friendship and glitter was behind them. But now some new evil has emerged, and they’re all suddenly finding their powers coming back after being dormant for years, and after a couple days of desperately hoping a new team of fifteen year olds would appear to take care of this, they eventually realize that it’s all up to them.
So that means digging through old boxes of keepsakes to figure out where they stuck their Rainbow Twinkle Wand after they finished saving the world the first time around, and hoping the outfit still fits (it’s a magical transformation, so yes, it adapts to their adult bodies and fits perfectly, even though it’s a lot more frills and sparkles than they’ve worn in a very long time.) Also gotta get used to yelling their attack names, because the magic doesn’t work otherwise. One lady shouts ‘Strawberry Lipbalm Ray!’ and blasts a monster into oblivion, and then stares off into the middle distance because she’s 30 years old and has a mortgage.
incorrect witcher quotes 2/? (insp)
Batman is the greatest detective that ever lived (insp.)
“accidental co-parents of the found family group to lovers” is an underrated trope that i really want to see more of
Job Offer
Anakin: [dramatic and villainous] Join me, Master! I’ll give you one last chance! Obi-Wan: …fine. Anakin: I – [Dramatic John Williams Score cuts out] Wait, what? Obi-Wan: I said all right, then. [puts his cloak back on] Anakin: [mouth agape] Wh– no, Master, you – Obi-Wan: You offered, didn’t you? I mean if the Jedi Order and Republic are over, as you say, I suppose I’ve got to find employment somewhere. Anakin: [with gears visibly turning in his head] Well – but – it’s just. I’m talking about the Dark Side, Master, you know that, right? Obi-Wan: Yes. What else could you have possibly been talking about? Anakin: I…right, of course. So…you’re just, fine with becoming a Sith Lord, just like that. Obi-Wan: [smoothing out his sleeves] Hmm? I mean, I suppose, you know. Whatever you want to do. Anakin: That…this doesn’t make any sense. Obi-Wan: See, those were my thoughts exactly! Anakin: [confused as hell] …yeah, so…why… Obi-Wan: [scrolling on his phone] I, too, thought to myself “goodness! That certainly looks like Anakin pledging his life to a Sith Lord, but that, that makes no sense whatsoever! We were just about to win the war, and at any rate I just saw him only a handful of hours ago. Becoming a Sith, at this moment of all moments, would be possibly the stupidest, least-thought-through decision he’s ever made, even including that time he ate those leftovers that had been in the conservator since before we left for Christophsis.” Anakin: [makes a face] Obi-Wan: But then I thought, “well, Obi-Wan, you’ve known Anakin a very long time, surely if he’s doing something this drastic, it must be for a very good reason indeed. A reason that is based on solid facts that he has thought through at length after having gotten many hours of restful sleep. It’s not like he’d turn to the Dark Side because he’s panicked about something and refuses to talk to anyone about it in any actionable detail, and has decided to place all his proverbial eggs in one basket that happens to belong to a Sith Lord who orchestrated this entire war from the start!” Because of course that would be idiotic. And if that were the case, Anakin should probably just shut up and get on the ship and go help his wife before I have to do something I very much wouldn’t like to have to do to him. Anakin: [opens his mouth] [closes it] [unintelligible mumble] Obi-Wan: So, very well then. Sith Lords it is. Do I need to do anything immediately, or shall we just get on to murdering people?I I must say I don’t own many dark colors, but I’m sure we can stop at a store at some point during our killing spree. Anakin: W– no, I mean, Obi-Wan, you can’t…like…be that way. That’s not…you’re…you. Obi-Wan: What way is that, Anakin? Did you or did you not ask me to join you? Hmm? I said I accept. I presume you are a man of your word. Whom shall I kill in cold blood? [draws his lightsaber] Anakin: I…you should. I just. [mumbles again] Obi-Wan: What’s that? I couldn’t quite hear you. [leans in slightly] Would it bother you to see me behaving in such a way? Would it disappoint you, or possibly even tear your heart into pieces to watch your Master fall so far and do such terrible things? Would you do anything, forgive anything even though that is objectively insane, in the off chance that I might see reason, because I am behaving so far beyond anything you know of me? Anakin: [looks away and stares] [more mumbling, scuffs his boot on the ground] Obi-Wan: …well?! Anakin: [pouting and picking up his cloak, already walking away] I said I’ll get in the ship!
I knew what would happen and yet
What *can’t* we learn from looking to the wisdom of nature?
Here’s one
The best part is that the cat’s first box was already too small. “I learned nothing and never will.”
“Small box makes me feel safe…smaller box make me feel…safer??”
The Leaf: Blueprint Moment #14 - We Miss… Laughs on the Road
cultural posturing elves with superiority complexes are way out, now we’re doing elves who literally cannot stop adopting other species and imparting elvish wisdom on them
because elves have a very low fertility rate to counterbalance their remarkable longevity, to the point that childbearing elves are lucky if they’re able to get pregnant, say, more than twice a century
but some elves just want to Nurture and they’ve noticed that adoption is a pretty sick deal, and that their human neighbors in particular always seem to have a veritable cornucopia of orphans sitting around in need of shelter and food and loving guidance and someone to teach them the finer points of communing with nature.
elves reaching out to their human neighbors nervously for guidance because their beautiful adopted human son has decided he wants to get married but he’s only 25, he’s only completed one apprenticeship, he’s so young, is that really normal? are they sure? are they sure sure?
a 400 year old elf eagerly introducing her friends to her younger siblings: a 100 year old elf, 55 year old human, 27 year old tiefling, and 12 year old human.
elf parents spending centuries proudly maintaining large and convoluted family trees where some of their great grand-kids are older than their most recently adopted children. elves highly prizing sprawling systems of family that span species and culture and share everything they can with each other.
I’m just. I really charmed by the idea of elfin culture having the potential to be remarkably set in its ways, since they lack the relatively quick generational turnover of other species, but instead being almost infinitely open-minded and fluid to accommodate the needs of their many adopted community members.
even elves who have left home to become professional adventurers aren’t immune to this; no wandering elfin bard or warrior is going to pass up a perfectly good opportunity for adoption. it’s relatively commonplace to run into adventuring parties followed by one or two or five wayward children in tow, on the way to the elf’s parents to deposit those kiddos for safekeeping. the rest of the party are a little confused about whether their elf friend is those kids’ parent now, or if their parents will be considered the parents and that makes the elf in question a big sibling now, or what. the elf shrugs it off. they’re family, what do the specifics matter?
it’s a fantasy meme that elves will see an orphan sitting around and ask if anyone’s going to adopt them then not wait for an answer.
and they’re all considered elves which means that within like. a generation or two? the word ‘elf’ starts to become more of a broad cultural descriptor than a specific species. there’s an orc on the elfin high council, and at first visiting dignitaries assume that, obviously, she was adopted by elves. but no, actually she was raised by a lovely human/lizardman couple, but both of them come from adopted elf families, which makes them elves by association, and obviously the grandparents would never allow anyone to imply that their cherished granddaughter isn’t an elf just because she happens to be an orc.
after a few centuries of this calling someone an “elf” means “someone somewhere in their family was probably an elf at some point, don’t worry about who it was.”
Thinking abt immortality and how meticulously you’d have to keep track of all of your shit so some nosy historian didnt spot your old journal or coat or copy of a book and call an infuriating time-based finders keepers
“It’s two hundred years old” they say. “It’s essentially public property” they say. It’s a letter you sent to your friend and it’s in a museum now and you’re screaming
Why are vampire stories always I Want To Drink The Sexy Neck Milkshake and never two vampires texting about the passionate letter one wrote to the other in 1863 but never sent that the other just saw in the Smithsonian’s fall exhibition on Love Through the Ages and what the fuck, Claude, why didn’t you say anything
THANK YOU!!! asking the REAL questions
Okay, but now I’m imagining a To All the Boys I Loved Before inspired vampire novel. Being immortal means a lot to keep track of over the years and if some possessions are lost or given to various relatives, it happens. But then a museum gets a hold of the main character’s Super Secret Do Not Read Under Any Circumstances diaries from when they were a melodramatic teenager (vampires have phases too) and so begins the heist to reclaim the diaries before the world (and more importantly Claude) find out how many times the main character wrote Madame Claude Passard in her diary.
And I can’t tell what would be better - a world where vampires exist and this ushers in a new wave of law (how long can a person own property and if they were the original owners when vampires were a secret and have changed names 10 times since, can they still claim it is theirs?)
Or a world where vampires are a secret and all these grad students posting bits of the diaries. “Even though we have forever, I regret not meeting you sooner, because forever isn’t long enough”. and “I crave you like the sun, peering through my curtains at your light, but I know to be touched by you would lead to an agonizing painful death”. And they think this 17th century French woman was hardcore but it turns out she is a dramatic bisexual vampire who has resorted to keeping a diary, because her sire is tired of hearing about her crushes. It has been 108 years. There is a reason she is an only childe.