It's been years since we first met. You a seemingly timid,ordinary boy in plain tees,like everyday. Me,a lost soul, a princess waiting to be freed of my cage. I can't forget that day,the day I first laid my eyes on you and you had that blush on your cheek. A harmless blush or so I thought. It's been years since we first talked,since we first opened up to one another which we thought or I thought would be a prelude to LOVE. Overrated? I know. I was 20 you were 22 or almost. We were young. We let things get the best of us,but what happened? When did we begin to drift apart? Why did we let that happen. Honestly speaking I DO NOT KNOW. I don't how it started but all I know is this,whatever this is,it's a cycle. It's been going on since then and I hate to break it to you but it isn't what it seems,at least not how we wanted it to work out.
I have always wondered,is it me? Is it you? Is it life? Is it us? Why did the cycle of you coming and going as you please started? I have always asked you this and I have always been clear with what I want. I tried my best to understand you and why you behaving in such a manner,but I can't. I can't pin you down. Nothing in the context of what I have read and studied fits you. You're alwyas in the middle,sometimes not even close. I tried so hard to understand you,to figure you out,to make things work but as I eventually get closer you begin to drift away. To run. To disappear to nowhere and come back when it's convenient to you. Why?
At first I thought you just had a wanderlust for things but as time went by,it wasn't the case. You keep on saying you love me,that I mean so much to you but your actions speak otherwise. Yes,I have rejected you for 4 times now because of the same reason. The same damn reason that I have tirelessly pointed out to you. But did you ever learn? NO,did I ever learn to not let you in? NO,it was because I believed that one day,you will man up and grow some sense into yourself,but I guess I was wrong. You will remain that boy who used me as a rebound. If that was a way for you to get to me because I hurt your ego,well boy,you have a marvelous job,I'd give you a standing ovation.
So to you who thinks I am nothing more than a rebound well,hear this out,you can say you love me but you never truly did. You can say you care about me but you were never there. You can say you want to marry me one day but I know deep down,it's not me you want,it's HER. It's ALWAYS been her. It's her you exerted much effort on,it's her who your family met,it's her family you met not mine,it's her you took time to see not me,it's her. So spare me the drama and get over yourself. Face the fact that it's HER all along and it was NEVER me. Deal with it. Accept it. Because by doing that,you are doing BOTH of us a favor. So please drop it with the sweet nothings,drop it with the feelings because I've had it. Be crystal clear with me,man up,because I assure you that I will be forever grateful if you'd just admit not to yourself but to the both of us that it's her you truly want not by coating it with pretense and denial. Please grow some balls to be truthful because I can feel it,I'm many things but stupid isn't one of them. I can read between your lines. I can take a hint. I simply KNOW. So please just STOP. Just DROP it. It will make things less complicated.
#enough #loveandrelationships #datingfail #truth
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