I want to have a relationship with someone like I really like.
I think I can do it, but I’m not entirely sure.
If I reach hard enough and stretch, I’m pretty positive I can do it.
And we’ll live happily ever after.
Or at least have a good friendship.
But I think I can’t stretch that far.
Maybe some time will stretch me.
During that time, I’ll dream about what I’d like to do with you when I do see you.
In the meantime, and the weeks/months/years that will go by while I stretch, here is what I’d like to happen so far.
I’d like to sleep in a different bed than yours.
If I was in a different bed, I would want you to text me early in the morning, before the sun comes out and before everyone else is awake, and ask me if I have slept.
I would obviously say no, because Sagittariuses don’t sleep.
I would ask the same for you.
You would say no, because though even you’re a Taurus, I know you’re restless.
You would come over and pick me up in your car, beating our favorite music inside.
I would sneak out, not leaving a note for my parents.
We would drive to the beach one day and watch the sun from the hood of your car in the winter.
Once the sun was up, we would drive all over the state, going to Orlando and Tallahassee, jamming out to our music and just talking.
Right before the sun started to make its descent in the sky, we would turn around and drive home.
We would avoid the orange shade of the sky as the sun set, because that was our least favorite time of day.
We would hide out until it was night, and our cycle would start all over again.
If I was in the same bed as you, we would just have the initial question of if we had been sleeping being asked in person.
We would head out to a place of thriving civilization and bright lights at night, finding satisfaction in seeing the bright white lights of parking lots and stores in each other’s still awake faces.
When we got caught, we would run from the flashing cameras of the paparazzi, running into a bright store or running to our car and driving around, drunk off of the feeling of running away from everyone else.
Then there’s everyone else.
We would definitely waste gas.
But it would be worth it, fulfilling the dream of traveling with each other.
Seeing the light of the highway lights in each other’s eyes as we sang in the car on the way home, even though I was tone-deaf.
When we got home, you would come in with me, protecting me from the scolding from my mother, telling me that if I ever escaped again she would beat me.
We still manage to escape every morning, before anyone can see.
Sometimes I fall asleep in the car.
Sometimes you fall asleep driving.
But the only ones who rest are the ones who's bodies shut down no matter what the mind is thinking.
The phrase, ‘We only slept when our eyes closed’ is literal.
And that is the only time we get sleep.
Because we both know that once we get old,
Or once our spark and love for this adventure and rebellion has gone,
We would have wanted to spend every second fulfilling that fantasy when we wanted it.
Or we would have wanted to spend every second fulfilling that fantasy when we could have.
We want to have no regrets.
We both have some now, but why add when you can subtract?
Whenever we would get sick from lack of sleep, we would stay inside all day with the air conditioner on cool blast all the way, imagining it was the winter, since we both love it.
We would shut the blinds.
Have a vodka bottle ready on the bedside table, if we felt we needed a remedy for our sickness.
We would talk, or watch a movie, or write, or draw.
Do something besides just sit there.
Because when you get old and you can’t do things anymore, you wish you had done things when you could have.
And you think, ‘Why didn’t I do these things when I was capable of doing them, even though I felt like shit? I feel worse now.’
We don’t want to have to ask that question to ourselves when we’re older.
The darkness of the night or the early morning will be our favorite part of the day, because it’s our time.
We could be the only ones up, out and about, singing along loudly to each other in the car.
We would blow money at the stores we escape to from the paparazzi at night, not giving a shit.
Because our moments are now.
One day we’ll become old love stories, or our pictures and songs will become old mementos or they’ll be forgotten about.
We’ll eventually be forgotten about.
I’ve learned that the phrase, ‘Do what makes you happy’ is true.
We’ll do what makes us happy no matter how stupid, irrelevant or crazy what we want to do is.
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