terzo died for our sins

it ain't always what it seems when you cling on to a dream

[ourdarling]

my favorite genre of humor is when someone is asking me if they want their food because they really dislike it, they'll be describing how bad it is I'll say some shit like damn you're really hyping it up there king

[kaisarixn]

stop vaugeblogging about me

[phantomsteed]

i love how edward elric dresses like the typical anime protag (all black, red cloak w/ huge emblem, tight leather pants, always puts skulls or spikes on everything, huge belt with a chain on it, etc. etc.) but literally everyone else dresses like normal fucking people so he just constantly gets berated for his Shit Awful Taste

[cthulhubert]

cf also everything he makes with alchemy. me at first: “Wow this magic sure has a kind of gothic sensibility with all the dragons and spikes and shit that comes out” me another few volumes in, “Oh, no, Ed’s just… Like That”

[dankmemeuniversity]

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[princess-of-the-corner]

I still think this is my favorite author’s note.

[transhumanish-deactivated201905]

an afterlife exists but it’s just like 10 minutes where you get to see a pile of all the rice you ate in your life and admire it

[valtsv]

okay, fine, i’ll explore the catacombs with you, but ONLY if we hold hands the entire time we’re down there

[tmgtweets]

[scribghetti-junction]

Magikarp’s hidden talent.

[hexmaniacmareen]

BLESSED POST

[steepravine]

Newt On Huge Oyster Mushroom

(Mount Tamalpais, California - 11/2014)

[tattooingisanart]

jessica_penfold

[autisticm0b-deactivated20200910]

i was trying to compress this gif to make it a discord emoji but. this happened

[bongwatershots]

Dance fucker dance man he never had a chance

[glumshoe]

The first rule of Fight Club is: A member may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

[glumshoe]

The second rule of Fight Club is: A member must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first rule.

[vampire-crimson]

ship im pretty sure youre thinking of robot rules not fight club rules

[glumshoe]

no the First Law of Robotics is: you do not talk about robotics

[monsieurphantom]

The Moulin Rouge. A night club, a dance hall and a bordello. Ruled over by Harold Zidler. A kingdom of night time pleasures. Where the rich and powerful came to play with the young and beautiful creatures of the underworld. The most beautiful of these was the one I loved. Satine. A courtesan. She sold her love to men. They called her the ‘Sparkling Diamond’, and she was the star, of the Moulin rouge. The woman I loved is dead.

Moulin Rouge! (2001) dir. Baz Luhrmann

[headspace-hotel]

I love how the Devil went down to Georgia, which either implies

1) that the devil is a northerner

2) that Georgia is lower than hell

[livinthegoodlifexxoo]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I got a job as a Satanic mechanic.

[one-time-i-dreamt]