Kait

[animepopheart]

★ ねこ堂 | 界世イ無ノリ偽 ☆ ⊳ kisami (naruto) ✔ republished w/permission

[kaitislame]

Rick Nouveau

[kaitislame]

[kaitislame]

[kaitislame]

*He*

[kaitislame]

I made myself my next tattoo.

[kaitislame]

I've finally got one. We'll see how it turns out!

[kaitislame]

Your total is $10.86.

*Hands me a $10 bill then digs around in her purse and puts her wallet up*

"It's $10.86."

*Rudely says* "I gave you a $20."

*I hold up the $10 she gave me.*

"Oh...."

😂

[kaitislame]

Wtf Mom?

Were sitting at a restraunt, and she has one bite of a steak taco left (Appetizer) and the waiter comes up behind her and asks her if she's done with it.

I could tell she panicked and said yes because she instantly looked up at me and her eyes got all wide as he took the plate and walked off.

I start laughing and asked her why she didn't just say no, and she said:

"Well he snuck up behind me and caught me off gaurd, I panicked and said yes!"

Srsly mom stop youre killing me rn.

[extraspicychickennugget]

Morty Smith is an angel

I mean…LOOK AT HIM

[elizaviento]

Morty is my adorable little piece of shit baby boy and I must protect.

[ryuutales]

Reblog if you’re a self-taught artist!

I’m curious ^^

[kaitislame]

The plus side of having a busy job is the day goes by super fast, especially because I like to work and not just stand around. Downside, im tired af. 😂

[pluviofleur]

Rick 'n Morty doodle request, huh? How's about the backside of Rick, instead of the front?

omg HOODOO!!! this is one of my biggest weaknesses how could you!have this anyway! 

[kaitislame]

AAHHH I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED THIS BUT ITS SO CUUUTE.

[debrides]

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

[lesbirdan]

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

[hermionegranger]

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

[mugsandpugs1-deactivated2019010]

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

[thomrainierskies]

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

[mirab3lle]

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

[icouldwritebooks]

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

[crimeronan]

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

[agrestenoir]

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

[gin-and-eschatonic]

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

[harold-theyre-thespians]

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

[narwhalsarefalling]

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

[wren-likethe-bird]

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

[spoopsheepy]

Sometimes I answer my cell phone with “thank you for choosing Taco Time, what can I get started for you?” And inevitably there’s a dead silence for a moment where the person calculates what happened and I prepare to get laughed at.

I was also answering the phone at the bank once and got as far as “Thank you for calling po-… (bank name).” They realized I was about to fuck it up and I didn’t have the balls to admit I was about to welcome them to pokemon. I was thinking about other things. I still don’t know what happened.

[palmt0p-tiger]

I work at a shoe store and we’re required to ask customers for their phone numbers before checking them out so they can get coupons. I was checking a lady out today and she said no thanks to giving me her information, and idky but that part of my script stuck in my head and when her receipt printed out, I asked her “do you want your phone number with you or in the bag?”

words have me all kinds of fucked up

[porkchop-ao3]

The one about getting your retail script messed up is so real! When I worked in retail, multiple times I would just randomly say hello to a customer right at the end of the transaction instead of saying thank you xD I’ve also said “that’ll be x amount of money please” when handing the change.

I know I have certain things I need to say, I just get them all muddled up when I’m on autopilot. It’s embarrassing.

[poppyfarm]

The Throne

[coyotedinner-deactivated2020041]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[kaitislame]

Does anyone else hate trying to find a seat as far away from people as possible, but still being able to hear them fucking drone on and on about bullshit because they all talk too fucking loud?

Stop yelling that you picked a burgundy wall color for your living room, your friend is sitting right next to you and can hear you just like everyone else can. Fuck, dude.. I feel like an asshole but I really dont want to listen to two valley girl voices talk for 45 minutes at full volume.