[kaitlyn-speaks]

If you feel like killing or even just hurting yourself, stop. Go outside, run around, pick petals off flowers, paint a pretty picture, read a good book, watch funny movies, listen to music. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it takes your mind off of whatever's causing you pain. As much pain as you may be going through now, as much as you hate hearing it, it will get better. It may take weeks or maybe even months from now, but it will. Life may throw so much at you now but that doesn't mean it won't throw fun opportunities at you that you need to be alive for. Opportunities that will make you question why you ever wanted to kill yourself to begin with.

[kaitlyn-speaks]

I just really miss being in love with someone. I miss having someone to shower with gifts, going on cute little dates with, I miss doing the little things. But the thing I miss the most is being mutually happy with someone and having them fight for me. I haven't had that in awhile.

[kaitlyn-speaks]

why dont you ever post anymore

Idk how long this question's been here, I haven't been on this account in awhile. I lost my motivation to write but I'm back, I'm sorry

[kaitlyn-speaks]

Seeing you with her.

I can't stand the thought of it. I can't stand the thought of you two holding hands, her holding you, or her giving you kisses. All the things I used to do, I can't stand to picture her doing them. Not just her though, anyone. I know it's not good to be jealous, nor is it attractive, so I'm sorry. But I just can't get it through my head that the one I gave all my love to is letting a different girl do it now.

[kaitlyn-speaks]

Every time I fall,

I always manage to pick myself back up. It may take weeks or months, but it happens. But I can't do it alone. I constantly need someone encouraging me, feeding me good thoughts. But then again, sometimes I fall, and I don't have the strength to get back up again. This is one of those times. 

[kaitlyn-speaks]

Being alone.

Although being around friends is nice because it helps me forget my problems, I'll always prefer being alone. I'll always be waiting for the time where I could just lock myself in my room for hours crawled up in bed listening to music or getting caught up in a good book. Or just taking long walks outside with only nature's company. I feel like it's important to save time alone for yourself and not to be defined by other people. To just save time alone and manage your thoughts, just to escape the world. I absolutely love being alone, I just hate being lonely.  

[kaitlyn-speaks]

[kaitlyn-speaks]

kaitlyn-speaks:

Once you have me, don’t stop doing the things you once did to “get” me. 

Don’t stop sending me those cute silly text messages that you would always send me, just to simply tell me that I’m on your mind. Because even though to you it may seem like it’s nothing big, to me, every-time I get those text messages, the biggest smile appears over my face and you send butterflies storming through my stomach. Don’t stop telling me how much I mean to you because if you don’t express your feelings for me from time to time, I’ll get confused and start to think that you’ve lost interest in me. I’m not asking for red roses every-day, and a box of chocolate from you. I’m just please asking you to never stop showing your affection towards me. Because not only does that shit hurt, but I’ll get mixed thoughts running through my mind about it all. 

only relogging my own post again since someone changed the source.

[kaitlyn-speaks]

Never give up.

I know how tough times can get, I know what it's like for life to throw stuff in our faces making it hard to breathe. I know what it's like to want to just give up on everything. But what I've learned is to never give up. I know these three words are somewhat over used, but they're true. No matter how hard your situation is, whether it's family, friends, school, or even relationships, there's always hope. All you have to do is never give up and never stop trying. Never give up no matter how hard it may be, no matter how long it may take. Although giving up may seem like the easier option sometimes, wouldn't you rather keep trying and fighting rather to just give up and lose everything? 

[kaitlyn-speaks]

Every time I finally accept the fact that you're out of my life, you end up coming back. For once I would just like you to make up your mind.

[kaitlyn-speaks]

I'm happy being with you, but you're happy being without me. So does that mean I leave you to be happy even though it's making me hurt?

[kaitlyn-speaks]

Sleeping is a cure,

You could be having the most pain in the world, but as soon as you close your eyes and drift away to your dreams, it all goes away. Your eyes start fluttering to your happy place, your dream place. You don't feel sadness, you don't feel anger, you feel nothing. The only bad part about sleeping, is once you wake up, all the pain comes back at once and hurts all over again. 

[lovetocherish-blog-blog]

[kaitlyn-speaks]

There comes a point where you've been strong for so long,

That you just need to let everything out and cry. Cry about your family, cry about your friends, your ex, cry about whatever's bothering you inside. We can all be strong for the longest time and fake a smile everyday, but we eventually get tired of pretending. We want to actually be strong and actually mean a smile. Right now, I'm at that point. I've been strong for the longest time, that I'm at my breaking point. I'm at that point where everyday I have suicide thoughts, but I stop myself. I stop myself because if I actually pull through with it, I'll be hurting people. How much longer will I be able to stop myself? I just, I don't know. The feeling sucks and nobody deserves to have to go through it, point blank, no matter who you are or what you've done.

[kaitlyn-speaks]

When I grow up, I'll make sure to be the best mom ever.

I'll make sure to support my kids through everything, encouraging them to do what makes them happy. I want my kids to be able to come to be for anything. I'll always be there for them, so they feel like they're never alone. Even if I'm busy or tired out of my mind, I want them to be able to knock on my bedroom door, sit down, and tell me what's bothering them. I won't be overly protective of them to the point where they can't do anything, but I will ask them where they're going and who they'll be with. I want my kids to be able to tell me exactly everything going on in their life, and not hide anything from me. When I grow up, I'll make sure to be the best mom ever and do all of these things. The things I never had while growing up.

[kaitlyn-speaks]

All I want is to be over you for good.

I want to stop thinking about you from the minute I wake up in the morning, until I rest my head at night. I want to stop going on your Facebook everyday, not liking the results of what I see. I want to stop getting excited when I get a text, only to find out it's not from you. I just want all of my feelings for you, gone for good. I want to be able to let go and move on. If you can do all of this, why can't I? It's not fair how I'm still here and you're already moved on. 

[kaitlyn-speaks]

[kaitlyn-speaks]

kaitlyn-speaks:

It’s sad when someone you know, becomes someone you knew.

Those people who you were once so close to, are the same ones who later on end up walking straight past you down the halls without a single glance. The ones who you use to tell all your secrets to, end up becoming a secret. It’s hard to accept the fact that someone you once knew so well, isn’t in your life anymore. Whether it be that you guys just drifted apart, or maybe something happened along the line which made you two quit speaking to each-other, either way it all ended the same way. But even though we may not talk anymore or even acknowledge that the other one exists, I’m still keeping my promise to you. I’m still always going to be here for you whenever you need me. Even though we’re strangers again and back to how we began with. 

photocredits; http://johnnylacephotography.tumblr.com/

[kaitlyn-speaks]

I have this fear that one day you'll forget me.

This fear tends to overcome me and it gets stronger as each day passes. I fear that you'll wake up one day and just forget everything. That you'll forget our late night pointless phone conversations and deep talks. Our memories and songs we used to dedicate to each other. I fear that you'll forget me in general, and I'll become just another person to you. Which sucks, because I know that'll never happen with you. I couldn't forget you even if I tried.