Not everyone is going to like you.
Hell, I know of some people who "hate" me and we've never even exchanged two words.
Someone whom I've had limited personal interactions with recently called me "ugly". A few times over. Among other things.
I took it to heart, not even considering what they must be going through to feel the need to call me that. While sitting at home in tears, defensive and confused, I came upon a few variations of this lesson from the Buddha:
During a lecture, the Buddha is verbally chastised by a very angry man. While listening to the insults, the Buddha sits calmly. The man becomes even angrier and demands to know why the Buddha is not responding to his hurtful words. The Buddha replies, "If someone offers you a gift, and you do not take it, to whom does it belong?
I myself am unable to be burdened by something I do not accept. I decline your abuse and request you keep it for yourself."
Hurt people hurt people. This IS Samsara, and how pain patterns get passed on. Samsara is a result of avidya (Sanskrit for delusion or ignorance) and through the cycle of human suffering, it manifests as anxiety, depression and general discontent- towards yourself and towards others. Many believe that relief from Samsara can occur by following the Buddha's path to liberation. The further down the path I attempt to venture, the easier it becomes to identify: any one person's discontent is not about you. You did not cause it and you do not own it. It may appear that way, but it's most likely because they are in enough pain that they see something in you that they hold issue with inside themselves. Ouch. I must have forgotten in all of this "taking it personally" business that which I preach most: everyone is a mirror. Even with the best of intentions emanating from you, no matter how many times you "meditate on it", any number of things can surface as a reason for their distaste in your particular flavor. For those on the path, searching for the path, or simply looking to better their lives and the lives of those around them, Sangha, community, is unbelievably vital. Unless you already have the Buddha's unshakable worldview, align yourself with those who support who you want to become. Set aside those who have a more negative worldview than your own, lest your own perspective be lowered alongside theirs. Loosen your grip on your expectations and allow yourself and all others to be free. Counter their anger with empathy, disdain with kindness, their chill with warmth. Embody compassion, but remember that courage also means standing up for what you believe in- decline those gifts that do not serve the highest good, even if your phone rings less than before.
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