hi !! if you’re still taking requests, could you maybe do something with lando where the reader is struggling to decide whether or not to get back into a former career that they miss, and lando encourages them to do it? i know that’s so specific, so it’s cool if you’re not able to work with that! love your writing, keep it up girlie <33
Philosophical Questions - LN4
A/N: thanks for this request! I love when people compliment my work and send in requests, I loved this one so much I had to start writing it. I hope you love it as much as me. It means so much to me!! I’ve been off sick today, so I got some writing done instead.
The paddock had finally fallen quiet.
Not exactly silence. Nothing in Formula One was ever truly silent. But it was quiet enough that the echos of the day had softened into something almost peaceful. All of the noise had faded until only the hum of generators amd the occasional laugh from the hospitality building remained.
You sat on the concrete wall just outside the McLaren garage, it overlooked the far end of the track. Warm air drifted lazily across the tarmac as you swung your feet absentmindly against the wall. The sun had started to melt towards the horizon, throwing shards of red and gold behind the grandstands. It made the track look softer than it ever did in the daylight, almost forgiving.
You wished your thoughts were that kind.
A few minutes passed, it could’ve been ten or forty, before familiar footsteps approached from your right. You didn’t turn, you didn’t need to.
“You look like you’re thinking really hard.” Lando said as he hopped up onto the wall beside you, one leg dangling off the side, the other bent under him.
He was still in his fireproofs, though he’d peeled the top half down around his waist. His hair was damp, his face still flushed from the adrenaline of the race. A long day, and yet he looked like he could do it all over again.
“That’s dangerous for you, you know.” you said, nudging him lightly with your shoulder.
He grinned. It was a tired smile, but it was real. “Ha. Hilarious. I’ll have you know that I am very capable of philosophical thoughts.”
“Like…if I had to choose right now between a Monster energy or a burger, what would I pick? Proper hard hitting stuff.”
You laughed softly, but you didn’t add anything more. Lando’s eyes flicked toward you, studying the stillness in your expression. The only way someone who had known you for years could do.
“Seriously though,” he said, his voice dipping quieter, “are you okay?”
You exhaled. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just…tired.”
You frowned. “What? I really am tired.”
“Yeah, but there’s something else bugging ya.” He nudged you this time, gently enough that it felt like reassurance. “You’ve been really weird since Friday. Not bad, weird but not yourself.”
He wasn’t wrong. All weekend, your mind had been slipping away, circling around the thoughts of the past, a decision you’d been meaning to make for months.
You started to pick at a loose thread on the sleeve of your hoodie. “It’s nothing important, Lando.”
“Mmhmm. And that’s why you’re sitting out here on your own watching an empty track?”
But he didn’t. He just waited, letting the silence between you stretch until it was big enough to hold the truth.
Lando was always like this. The world saw the jokes, the quick wit, the fearless driving. Of course you saw that too, but you also saw the parts of him he saved for the people he loved. The kind of person who didn’t push, but didn’t let you wallow in your own silence either.
Finally, you broke the silence. “I’ve been thinking about going back to my old job.”
He tilted his head slightly, a subtle shift of concern slipping into his expression.
“I thought you were done with all that?” he said softly.
You swallowed, you weren’t sure how to explain it. There wasn’t a single moment, not one spark that made you want to go back. It was slow, a creeping ache that had been growing for months until it felt impossible to ignore.
“I just miss it,” you said. The words came out small, but honest. “Not everything about it. But enough that it feels wrong to just leave it the way I did.”
Lando’s gaze followed the curve of the track. “But you left for good reasons.”
“And you did great things after. Things out of your comfort zone.”
“So, what’s stopping you from going back?”
You let out a humourless laugh, “Ha, fear?”
Lando’s brows furrowed together. “Of what?”
“I don’t know. Failing maybe? Or realising that I’m not as good as I used to be. Or I’m looking back on my career there with rose tinted glasses?” You paused for a moment. “Or that if I go back, and I still feel lost.”
Lando breathed in slow, like he was collecting each of your worries and taking them for himself. The sunlight outlined the edges of his profile, capturing every feature of his face.
“Today wasn’t the best race, you know?”
You blinked. Unsure of where the conversation was now going.
“There were so many mistakes,” he continued. “The strategy didn’t go to plan. I almost threw up over there after turn nine. And for the last few laps I thought why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself through this?”
“I can completely relate to this pep talk Lan.” you said dryly.
He smiled but he didn’t look toward you. “But when the race finished and I got out the car, I remembered how much I love racing. Even when it’s hard, even on my worst day.”
His foot tapped against the concrete wall. “Sometimes the bad days make me realise how much I want to keep going.”
You stared at him, the words sinking in deeper than you had expected them to.
“And you think that applies to me?” you asked quietly, “a bad day?”
“I think,” Lando started, finally turning his whole body to face you. “That you got out because the pressure was crushing you, and you needed space to breathe. I think you made the right decision back then,”
His voice softened. “And now that you’ve had time to breathe, and time to think, you can remember who you are without drowning.”
Your chest tightened at his words. It felt like something inside was finally shifting.
“Maybe,” he continued, “stepping away from it was exactly what you needed to do to figure out that you wanted it back.”
You bit your lip. “But what if I’m completely wrong? What if I go back and it’s not the same Lando?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Then you’ll finally know. And then you move on to the next thing. Find something else that you love. But at least you won’t be stuck wondering for the rest of your life what could’ve been.”
You’d been wondering for so long. “I just…I don’t want to make the wrong decision.”
“Hey,” He elbowed you lightly. “You don’t have to choose your whole life’s path in a single step. You’re just choosing to try. There’s a difference.”
You let the words settle. The sunset lowering, the colours deepening into a bruised purple and orange. The last of the engineers drifted past, waving bye to Lando.
“Do you really think you can do it?” You asked, your voice breaking just enough that you heard what you didn’t say out loud – ‘Do you think I’m enough?’
Lando didn’t hesitate to answer you.
“I’ve watched you be brilliant for years.” he said firmly. “I’ve watched you fight worse battles than this. And yeah, maybe you’ve changed but maybe that’s for the better. You’re a different person now.”
You closed your eyes for a moment, squeezing them shut. Maybe to find clarity, maybe to stop the tears from falling.
When you finally opened them again, Lando was watching you.
You took a breath, “Okay.”
His brows lifted. “Okay?”
“Okay… I’ll try.” You felt the words vibrate through your ribs. “I’ll at least look into it all again.”
A proud smile slowly crept across his lips. “Good.” He bumped his shoulder against yours once more. “And whatever happens, you’ve always got me. Remember that?”
You smiled back at him. The warmth blooming against your chest. “Thank you, Lando.”
“Anytime, my girl.” He hopped off the wall, his feet hitting the ground heavy. He turned and held his arms out toward you, you instinctively jumped into them, he carefully lowered you to the ground in front of him.
“Come on, if we stay out here any longer, someone’s going to think we’re having some kind of dramatic breakup or something.”
You laughed, falling into step beside him. “Yeah, those rumours would be fun.”
“You mean terrible.” He laughed, “People already think I’m completely unhinged.”
As you walked back toward the lights of the paddock, the heaviness you’d been carrying for months had started to fade away. Not gone, but shifting.
“You know, I’m proud of you.” He said, casual but attentive.
You didn’t answer straight away, but the words felt good, they sat warm between your ribs.
“Yeah, I am too.” You whispered.
Because for the first time in months, you were. You were actually proud of yourself. Whatever was coming next, you knew that you would have the support of everyone around you and the faith in yourself again.
