Touring Ammos

Touring Ammos is an Experimental Lo-fi Hip-hop and Electronic DJ. Beat Maker. Jalex Aonces is Dead.

[kaneseatheadrest]

Waiting for a Trip Hop revival

[kaneseatheadrest]

Here is a poem I wrote recently. Haven't shared any of my writing lately. So here.

[kaneseatheadrest]

(I'm going to post a few of my poems/songs lyrics that I've been working on the past few months. This is just the first of many, but so far it's my personal favorite.)

Title: Every Other Corner In This Claustrophobic Room

Written by: Touring Ammos (kane)

[Verse 1]

I've began picking favorites of the corners in this room

Find ways to ignore the silence that's reminding me of you

Those rare moments of silence, ignore the things that I can't say

Those are the only words that a coffins canvas makes

Take this blank slate to your grave

Finding meaning is a waste

I lie awake

Try to give purpose to the street light shining through the shades

I'm wide awake in a state of comforted paralysis, it fades

Ill imagine missing dreams, that Id regret if theyd have happened

Anyways

I swear,

It's feels as three days past in just the last hour

I broke my clock, making correction, now it stuck on what was ours

5 o clock

It's 5 o clock

And when I wake up it'll be 5 o'clock

I refuse to be defied by that consistent ticking haunts

The isolated clicks used to bring a sense of peace

And as I'm dozing off my very thoughts will start to fall in sync

with it

[Pre-chorus]

For every second

Or every, second thought (×2)

I'll think again

[Chorus]

Don't know how much more I can

Strain

My eyes

As these walls make you

These walls make you

[Verse 2]

I've began picking favorites of the scabs that I've collected

And I've been talking to the sockets in the corner I've rejected

It whispers back the sweet nothings that falsify a sense of purpose

And the walls that will close in on me will leave me feeling nervous

Objects in my perspective may appear closer than they seem

Even if I adjust my sight, I don't trust half the things I've seen

If these walls could talk they'd probably still not say a fucking thing

Atleast to me

I pace the floor to keep the blood cells in my leg circulating

Worried if it falls asleep the numbness might start overtaking

My central nervousness

Til I become that very stranger that can't feel my own skin while I'm still in it

I cuss the clock 'I swear to God, not another fucking minute

Out of you

But it keeps ticking in a persistent rhythm I swear that it is teasing

Knowing there is never enough time for me to achieve what I've been meaning

To achieve

And the sound is a reminder of every single second wasted

Sometimes when I look in the mirror what I see there is more faceless

Than the clock

Or maybe my facial features just lack defined expression

Or I've become lesser of a human and than what's shown in my reflection

And shadows multiply and I convince myself that I'm less lonely

Cuz my shadow and it's shadow is the closest one that knows me

And I'm equal parts shallow as I am hollow

And I keep living off the type of time I have to ask to borrow

Every day that gets presented is spent waiting for tomorrow

I'd live in the past but my memories are swallowed

By the dark matter part of my brain, or so I think, cuz they're forgotten

They come back to me in waves, but each passing day, it's much less often

Pretty soon, it will consume all the memories I'm fond of

The older that I get the further from life I feel like I'm a part of

I will shed my cells and find a landfill For the saw dust

Count down to the moment where what's left of my soul gets bought up

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus]

Everything must go

I had this false sense of how my conscious grows

But this coffee and cigarettes must've left it stunted

I was once pretty on the inside, even when I see my face and want to punch it

Now the only thing that's on my inside is what I'm putting on my stomach

Sometimes I must remind myself the whole world is not on my shoulders

If you needed one to cry on, hurry up, they're getting colder

Those I'll never see again, I hope retained a piece of me

Even if I know that I'm the type that folks forget so easily

Those who know the old me, I hope retained a part of me

Cuz the person I've become almost feels like it is hardly me

At all

Maybe that's dramatic, maybe my miserys unearned

My stomach starts to churn at the thought  of misconceptions

That of which infected my own brain as I zone out to corner in furthest direction

To my bed stand

[kaneseatheadrest]

True love never found Daniel Johnston in the end, and that breaks my heart a little bit.

[ap0stle]

spinning them

[kaneseatheadrest]

Proud owner of both mirror to mirror and face to face versions of Twin Fantasy on Vinyl. Which version is your favorite?

[kaneseatheadrest]

Olivia Rodrigo and Pom Pom Squad may have similar styles (though PPS is much lesser known) but I am for being a fan of both instead of worrying about who is copying who. I'm just glad there is more pop punk/grunge inspired pop music out there. Both great vinyl records. Highly recommend

[moshpitsandstargazing]

a relationship should be 50/50

i have a sword. you have a sword. we duel in the woods.

[kaneseatheadrest]

Why Rainer Maria Hits Different After My Mental Breakdown Part 1 (tracks 1-3)

Feel free to skip to the dotted line to skip to the actual review instead if you're already familiar with the band or just want to hear my thoughts.

Since they are fairly underrated I'll start by saying that Rainer Maria is a Midwest Emo crossed with broader Alternative Rock influences with some Pop flair to them in the vain of Death Cab For Cutie, Metric, or Paramore but sadly were never as popular. But they have some incredible stuff so if you like those bands listed and aren't familiar I hope you give Rainer Maria a chance. A Better Version Of Me is their magnum opus which is why I'm taking the time to rant about it, but I also would recommend the 'Long Knives Drawn' album especially if you're more into the more broader alternative rock and hard rock styles other than 2000s emo.

------------‐‐-----------------------------------------------

I had a divine experience listening to A Better Version Of Me by Rainer Maria and here's my subjective, death of the author, interpretation of it from a spiritual (not necessarily religious) aspect.

Short summary of pretext, Rainer Maria had recently became one of my go-to bands at the time, and I had a mental breakdown and when to the nut house for a week. And when I came back the first thing I did was listen to this album on CD from beginning to end as I went to sleep. I meditated on the words and had accompanying thoughts and visual imagery going off in my mind at the time. But this was all under the condition that I wasn't fully in a healthy mental health space and having existential crisis and felt almost the want for divine intervention

1. Artificial Light

I interpreted it as the energy that manifests from a divine source can be found in the natural light of the sun, and that the man-made creations of this modern plain of existence are limited to the laws of science that cannot be defied. You can be impressed by the advancements of technology, but remember that it can never replace what makes nature natural. A message that especially aged well now considering the growing concern over A.I. advancements and how it can't replace real art. Real art made by the passion of a real human creator. A micro-god of their own, if you subscribe to idea that the purpose of God is to create. Every piece of art has came from the collective consciousness of the world and channeled into particular artists when the time is right, when the emotion strikes. And A.I. is poorly trying to imitate a collective conscious of its own but lacks the spirit that drives humans to draw from that collective conscious which seems quiet redundant without the human spirit.

Also, since my mental health was really rough that night I really thought these songs were trying to speak, almost directly, to me. Like it was challenging me. So I tried to harness energy to turn on the light in my room with my mind. As if, I could prove that god was trying to tell me something if I could get it to even flicker. Ofcourse, it didn't work. Guess I couldn't defy Artificial Light. But there has been weird, almost paranormal like things happening to me lately that makes me think of this song. Like, can ghosts defy it? And does that come from some divine energy of an afterlife?

2. Thought I Was

After feeling a godly high off the first track this song seemed like the perfect balance needed to humble myself down. Having already this weird feeling that some kind of godly diety was speaking to me through the music (something that persisted for a couple weeks with a few other songs too)

This gave the energy of understanding ones human limitations and realizing you have to accept the things about yourself that you can't change. I had duology of thoughts of reminding myself that I don't have some kind of special divine purpose for me and that I should learn to work on the things about myself that I didn't even realize held such negative energy behind it. Especially my lack of affirmations and ignoring how anti social I had become had left me empty. Just that no one is flawless, but no one is pure imperfection either. Most of, if not everybody, is somewhere in between.  "Am I wrong, am I right, am I just reacting all the time" really speaks to me. I take it as other people's perspectives aren't what defines you, but rather influences you to evaluate or overreact to how you view yourself. Humans are all composites of reactions towards the outside forces of life going on around. Is there such thing as 'actions' or 'taking action' when everything is a reaction. If you take action to push someone there has to have been something that lead you to acting in that manner. A reaction. That sent me down a rabbit hole of thoughts regarding free will and stuff. And I know this song isn't that deep. But it just really hit me at the time.

3. Seven Sisters

This one is going to be hard to explain in a rational linear context but here it goes. When i lost my mind I started seeing patterns of imagery. A major one for me was symbolism regarding water. Like, the next day I prayed for it to rain to show a sign that there is a god and immediately after it sprinkled just a tiny bit of rain. Like not even a second it rained and it stopped. I wouldn't believe it if it hadn't had happened. It's unfortunate that it's purely anecdotal and I didn't have the hind sight to document it somehow. But it lead me down to a spiritual taoist like path of healing. So thus song hits SUPER hard for me. As I was listening that night I was getting images of myself becoming a rain drop, and it made me feeling a cosmic connection with the element of water. Like I might have been reincarnated from a corner of an ocean or something. I know it sound like some Hippie bull shit. And I still have confused feelings about it. But it's still kind of comforting. Plus I always loved the rain anyways. It's comforting. But it's easy to see why I felt so drawn to the words "wanna see the good surround me. It's got the same properties as water"

[kaneseatheadrest]

What's a synonym for quirky that doesn't make me sound like a complete fucking loser? I'm trying define my personality again since I purged my personality due to the depersonalization phase I went through when my brain broke.

[claufer3060]

[kaneseatheadrest]

You can find my soul dancing somewhere in the songs made by Porridge Radio. If you're interested, I mean.

[fuck-all-governments]

[kaneseatheadrest]

This hidden gem. I've yet to find something more sample worthy than the piano intro of this song. I sampled it in my song 'Moon Master' (by Touring Ammos)

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Gives me chills

[kaneseatheadrest]

I still find it super weird that Kanye is so pseudo Christian and so anti-sematic and he never stopped for a moment to think about how Jesus was literally Jewish. No, but Jonah Hill is the one Jewish person he likes. Great values bro, I'm not at all disappointed in the one artist I used to consistently call a 'genius'. Fucking fascist sucking sell out. It still bugs me that he thinks he can abuse his influence the way he does.

[kaneseatheadrest]

Is Yoko Ono even actually made of plastic!?