What Lips Can’t Say
Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader
Summary: Mando realizes that he may not be able to love you the way you want to be loved
Word Count: 3.4k
Rating: T
Warning: Mentions of human trafficking
Din Djarin wasn’t cut out for this. He wasn’t cut out for playing the role of ‘Dad’ or talking to a woman in hopes of pursuing a relationship.
He ignored the scene behind him in the pilot seat with every ounce of will that he had, but the temptation to look behind himself was all too strong. Especially since he knew he’d only find you cooing at Grogu and staring into his wide innocent eyes going on about how beautiful they were while you stroked his cheeks with him responding in his own gibberish speak.
This entire situation the Mandalorian seemed to find himself in felt all too domestic in the most off kilter way imaginable.
He always figured that if he decided to settle down, it would be with a Mandalorian woman that he’d have a human kid with. It certainly didn’t consist of a little green Jedi menace as a son and attempting to pursue an escaped slave turned thief and con artist.
And you were both his bounties— go figure.
Perhaps he was growing soft. Years ago he would have never done anything like this.
When Din was younger he had hunted kids before and women. He had no problem collecting the price on their heads back then. Sure, maybe it made him feel like shit for a couple days but he needed the money.
But now it was as if he had no self control. He was at least able to hand Grogu over for a day or so but when it came right down to it, he couldn’t just leave the little hellraiser in the hands of the Empire. Maybe you were right to fawn over the kid’s eyes like you had, it was probably those same eyes that had thawed something within Din and ripped out any spine he had in the process.
And he didn’t even want to think about how far he went with you.
You were only frozen in carbonite for three days before allowing Peli, of all people, to inadvertently talk him into thawing you and helping you find your way back home.
The mechanic had went on her own little tour inside the Razor Crest when he had stopped by for her to fix some things, and upon her little expedition she stuck her nose where it hadn’t belonged.
In the frozen bounties.
That was when she had spotted you, frozen in carbonite with a look of terror marring your beautiful face.
Peli had immediately gone on and on about how great you were, hanging out with her and the droids to gamble in rounds of Sabacc despite you losing every single time. Then in Peli fashion she had said too much, she went into your sob story, how you were trying to get back home after being separated from your family and seeing your parents killed by stormtroopers right in front of your eyes, and how the bounty on your head was because you had escaped from your slavemaster. So you eventually turned to stealing and conning others in order to survive while you tried to find your way back to your home planet.
”What slave trade was she in?” He had stupidly asked.
”She’s a beautiful young woman, what do you think tin can?”
”The bounty’s too high for an escaped slave.”
”That’s because she left with a little souvenir,” Peli had grinned.
”…What did she take?”
”The bastards cock.”
And that’s why Din Djarin never asked kriffing questions.
Half way towards Nevarro, going through hyperspace. Din had found himself leaving the cockpit and heading towards the captured bounties.
He had flipped through them until he landed on you.
With a sigh, he had unfroze you.
He still remembers the wail that escaped your tense throat and the absolute panic that radiated from you. You were disoriented and blinded from the carbonite and Din had to hold you down to keep you from hurting yourself while you cried about not being able to see.
He had to sooth your panic… something he was certainly not very adept at. But once he had gotten through to you, once he had told you the blindness would wear off, and when he had told you he would help you get back home. Only then, did you calm down.
Little did he know, you lived on an unknown planet in the outer rim, with the strangest kriffing orbital pattern.
So now, almost two years later, you were still with him and Grogu.
There was a particular noise Grogu made behind him that made you giggle in response, and your giggle had made Din’s traitorous heart skip a beat.
He swallowed nervously, keeping his eyes ahead of him in space, once again ignoring the urge to turn around.
Right… there was also that.
It was something that he would forever blame on Mayfeld— if that bastard had just kept his big mouth shut Din maybe would have had a chance of living a life in denial until dropping you off on your home planet only then realizing what had been happening once it was too late.
He was falling for you.
It was so kriffing stupid and made him feel like a teenager all over again. He knew it was ridiculous, he knew it would never happen, but that didn’t stop his thoughts from straying to you or worrying over you whenever you had tagged along on a job.
It was an observation Migs Mayfeld had pointed out during a job he needed help with, and he could no longer ignore his feelings, not with it being said out in the open. The words taunted him, feeling as if they just hung in the air now whenever he was around you.
”Didn’t know you were wife shopping. Looking for a mom for Grogu so you can keep playing house?”
”I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Din had replied.
Mayfeld had furrowed his brow, looking at Mando like he was insane, “Don’t act like I haven’t noticed you hogging her from the moment I stepped onto this ship. I haven’t been able to say two things to the woman without you hovering.”
”That’s not—“
”Alright. Let me ask her out then.”
“What?”
”What. She’s pretty and single, so I’m gonna ask her out,” with that he had headed to the door of the cockpit, putting his hand on the handle to go to the bunker below but before he could open it Mando had placed a hand on the door, holding it shut.
His own actions had shocked himself.
”Interesting.”
Mando hadn’t known what to say, so he remained silent.
”A little advice. Just tell her— who knows? Maybe she has a thing for quiet, brooding Mandalorians.”
He was fucked from that moment on.
”Shifting into hyperspace.”
You hummed in response behind him as he shifted the ship into hyperspace as to continue the search for your home planet.
Din stared into space as the stars zipped past the ship in striking lights of blue. A beautiful sight that’s gotten all too familiar, causing it to lose it’s original charm.
But slowly he spun in his seat to witness one sight that didn’t have the capability of losing its charm.
Just as Din had assumed, there you sat in the copilot’s chair, forehead pressed against Grogu’s as you stared lovingly into his eyes with a grin. Grogu’s small hand had come up to pat your cheek.
It reminded him of the first time you had seen Grogu.
You had been sitting in his bunker for a few days as you waited for your sight to return, Grogu had been in his hammock as usual. It was morning and you had just woken up to find your eye sight had returned just enough for you to finally get around safely.
You had known that there was a baby on board, but what you hadn’t expected was to be greeted with the sight of the small creature with impossibly large and innocent eyes.
Din was barely able to pry Grogu from your hands that entire day.
So you had done this a lot with the child.
He had never asked why, the same way you had never asked him about his helmet or the things he would do due to his creed so it didn’t quite feel right for the Mandalorian to ask you about your own peculiar habits.
But something felt different in this moment.
And whatever that was, it had compelled him to finally put the words into question.
”Why do you do that?” Came the smooth modulated voice from his helmet.
You perked up, lifting your forehead from Grogu’s to meet the same blank stare of Mando’s helmet that you have grown so accustomed to.
”Do what?” Your smile was giddy— a smile that the child always seemed to pull out of you… He’d be lying if it didn’t make him the slightest bit jealous, even if he knew it was silly.
”Stare into his eyes like that.”
”Oh,” you hummed, gazing back down to stroke Grogu’s cheek just below his eye, before peering back up at Mando. “It’s a uh— custom, I guess you could say. Something my people do back home.”
Din was quiet for a moment.
You both had been quite similar to one another. Neither one of you spoke much but instead allowed actions to take precedent over words.
It was one of the reasons you both worked well together. A deeper understanding that transcended the use of words.
But that also lead to crossroads such as this, where Din wanted to learn more about you but didn’t know how to ask you, while you needed the prompting since you never just gave it up.
So he stammered, “Does it— Does it mean something or…” he trailed off awkwardly.
You finally straighten up to start addressing him properly. You laughed softly at his flustered words, “Where’s this sudden curiosity stemming from,” you grinned.
”…You just do it a lot.” He spoke softly.
You hummed again, thinking about how you could explain this cornerstone of your culture to him.
Truthfully you were quite open about this particular thing but with Mando being a Mandalorian you had decided to keep it to yourself. You’ve always figured that at best he wouldn’t understand where you were coming from but at worst it could accidentally end up insulting his entire way of life… so you kept it shut away.
You had never offered it up and he had never pried.
Until now it seemed.
You quirked your head in thought before deciding to ultimately bite the bolt.
”My people believe that love comes from the eyes.”
Mando didn’t respond.
So you elaborated, “The concept of love, no matter what kind, is very important in my culture. You could say it’s what we are all about. Just as the Mandalorians are trained to fight and handle weapons as part of your religion, love is the main focus for us.”
”… The Mandalorians believe in love.” He responded softly, something was beginning to ache within himself at your words.
You nodded, “Yes, the loyalty that the Mandalorians have is very similar to us— it’s my favorite part of the Mandalorian Creed if I am being honest.”
Din was starting to realize that you may have known more about him and his people than he did about you and yours all along.
”However, we were never strong believers in learning how to fight… it was how the Empire was able to target us and invade the planet. Everything I learned, the stealing, the conning, how to fight back in combat and fire a blaster goes against everything I ever believed in,” you said sadly, eyes falling back to the baby in your arms who cooed at you.
The ache was rapidly growing within Mando’s chest. He had asked you to steal for him during certain jobs, you were smaller than him and quite efficient at the task. He had also had you aid him in fights and… he was the one that wanted to teach you how to fire a blaster. A memory he once found intimate had quickly soured at the thought of making you turn your back on your beliefs.
He felt sick. But you continued.
”Perhaps we were just too peaceful, but I loved every minute of it. My parents were madly in love, the way my father would look at my mother always made me want to find a man that would look at me the same way one day. What I do with Grogu is something parents do with their babies to convey how much they love them.”
”I didn’t know you were such a romantic.”
You smiled at Din— a heart stopping smile, “You’re not the only one that’s secretly a softy.”
”I’m not—“
You wordlessly held Grogu up, making him concede your point.
”So eyes, huh?” He asked, not sure if he wanted to hear anymore but at the same time he liked hearing you speak about something you clearly held so much passion for.
If he knew it was this easy to get you to talk this whole time, he would have asked sooner.
”Yes,” you nodded, “We believe our eyes say things our lips can’t even attempt to say with words. I suppose some of our habits are quite strange when you think about it.”
”Like what?”
”Well… it was quite easy to tell when someone wanted to pursue you, all you had to do was keep eye contact when talking to them and pretty soon they would take the hint. School kids have a funny thing they do when they have a crush on someone— during lectures it wasn’t unusual for kids to be staring at the one they liked throughout the class— it drove our teachers crazy,” you giggled, “There was one time I had three boys staring at me at once during a lecture— I was a bit of a heartthrob back then if you could believe,” you laughed again.
’I do’
Din forced a dry laugh.
”When lovers are alone, you would simply gaze into your partners eyes for as long as you wanted. No words would need to be said because everything was said with their eyes— we also value physical touch quite a bit so you could imagine where those situations likely ended up.” You blushed, looking out the windshield of the ship.
”Did you have a lover,” his voice shook.
”I did,” you nodded, “Again, I was quite the heartthrob. We were together until I ran from home after my parents were killed. That was when I fled to Coruscant just to end up a slave,” your voice soured, “I suppose I was just too trusting.”
”You were never taught that not everyone has good intentions,” he suddenly realized.
You nodded, “I guess you could say that. Not everyone on my planet was good, we’re all just human after all, but I never thought…” you trailed off. Din watched as you tried to blink back a set of tears before continuing, “But yes, I had a boyfriend— he had the most beautiful green eyes. I would stare into them for hours. He was one of the most desired boys in my town and all the girls were jealous of me but… the Empire would come to take everything away.”
Din shut his eyes, wanting the pain that took hold of his heart to ebb away as he asked his next question, “Are you trying to get back to him?”
You sighed, “No. We were only children then. He’s grown and I’m grown— I know that I am no longer the same person he once knew and I am sure he’s carried on with his life. But that’s alright,” You finally looked back at Mando.
It was quiet once more. Din was trying to swallow down his emotion while you continued to reflect on your home.
Din could almost hear is heart beating in the silence.
”We used to play a game as kids, two friends would gaze into each other’s eyes and…” you trailed off before your eyes suddenly lit up. “We should play.”
“But I can’t—“
“That’s okay, we can still play,” you said excitedly, placing Grogu back into his pram, who had been talking now at the sudden excitement.
You stood up, grasping Mando’s hand to stand him up and pull him behind the seats of the cockpit to the open space.
”Kneel,” you said, climbing onto your knees and pulling him down by the hand.
He quickly did as you said so that you were kneeling across from each other.
”Can you take your gloves off?”
Din wordlessly took them off.
”Okay so— if this is too much you can stop me, but this was the game,” you picked up his gloveless hands and placed them to cup your nape and the back of your head, your own hands then coming to cup his. “Is it alright if I touch your skin?”
”Yeah,” Din exhaled, already with his head in a spin.
With his consent you had slid your fingers and palms into the cowl of his flight suit and cupped the warm skin of his neck.
”Now,” you pulled him forward so his helmet touched your forehead, causing his breath to hitch.
He was beginning to see even more, how different the two of you were, where this was just a game for you but for him… this was a keldabe kiss.
“All we have to do is stare into each other eyes for a little while— now this’ll mostly be a game for you so just stare into my eyes.”
And so he did.
Din focused on the exchange of warmth between his hands and your neck, feeling how much smaller your neck was compared to his own hands. And focused on the feeling of your hands on his neck and— Maker, you were playing with hairs of his nape causing his eyes to roll bac— he snapped out of it and looked back into your eyes.
It was dark in hyperspace but there was just enough light from the stars to see them reflecting in your eyes. He could almost make out the patterns of your iris. He noted the way you had to peer up at him through your lashes due to your heights.
He both hated and loved his helmet in this very moment. He understood what you had meant, your eyes held so much in them and he would spend hours trying to figure out each emotion in them if he could. But he was secretly grateful that you couldn’t see him staring at you like a Massiff stares at a Tusken Raider when getting attention.
It hurt something deep within himself to realize he could never give you the one thing you believed to be the cornerstone of love.
Din could swear is loyalty to you, keep you protected and safe, he could do everything in his power to give you a happy life.
But he could never let you look in his eyes.
There would be no loving gazes exchanged between you both, he could never look at you the way your father looked at your mother, he could never gaze into your eyes for hours until someone bent first and had the night end in a passion of your shared love.
And it was something Din couldn’t knowingly ask you to abandon.
”Okay,” you finally spoke, jarring him from the trance your eyes held him in. “Remember the size of my pupil.”
”Alright.”
A moment later you had closed your eyes. “Now the lighting isn’t ideal but the point of the game is to see if I fell in love with you after that. So when I open my eyes if my pupil gets bigger than it did before, I’m in love.”
He said nothing.
You opened your eyes.
Din Djarin knew that this was just a silly kids game you played back home. He knew that this was terrible lighting. He knew that if you couldn’t connect with him through his eyes like you were taught and raised to believe then there was little hope that you could ever fall in love with him.
And yet… he could have sworn your pupils got just half a milimeter larger.
