[vague-humanoid]

Related

[lwyzlwyz]

[flightless-wren]

This is a home for Keyleth lovers and supporters first and foremost

[laineystein]

“No beds means no fucking beds.”

[violenceenthusiast]

as always when a famous jewish person passes, i feel the need to restate that the correct jewish honorific in death is “may their memory be a blessing”

[karathraace]

Me: hasn’t even rolled stats for a character

Me: has a Pinterest board, several folders in scrivener, and a Spotify playlist dedicated to said character

[jmercedesd]

“…care for Essek and attraction for Essek…”

EXCUSE ME. MR O’BRIEN

SDLJGLKDJGFLKJDKLGHJFKLJ

WELP, that’s a lot of things confirmed!!!

[demonius-darkblade]

mooching off the government is a good thing actually. what the fuck else are they gonna do with the money? buy more bombs?

[stream]

So you know how you love me because you haven’t had a single meeting with anyone since I became your assistant? That’s because every time someone calls and requests a meeting with you, I always schedule it for March 31st.

[mrsstarlight]

[nepofledgling]

Professor x: Wow it really has been peaceful around here lately :’) Maybe my plans are finally work-

Magneto, freshly broken out of prison for the fifteenth time and headed for the x mansion to bother Charles again:

[programmerhumour]

Repost to spread. (Not really humor)

[knights-vigil]

https://www.forbes.com/sites/zakdoffman/2020/03/14/new-warning-issued-for-all-whatsapp-and-imessage-users-major-threat-to-encryption/

New Warning Issued For All WhatsApp And iMessage Users: ‘Major Threat’ To Encryption

Is this the beginning of the end for secure messaging?

[princessamericachavez]

Fjoreshadowing 

CR EP 98 SPOILERS

[whitepeopletwitter]

[dream-shelf]

me looking through the grey’s tags to see how they ended alex karev’s 16 season character arc:

[nullum-arcanum]

Visit Original Link

Hayley Williams — Simmer

[karadin]

heads up!

[daisyannewinchester]

Never ever say yes before you identify who is on the other line. Some phrases you can use

Hello

This is xyz

I am here

How are you

Who is this

What’s up

How can I help you

What god do you serve

Who is your master

Speak now or forever hold your peace

What do you want

You have reached a life model decoy of [your name] please leave a message. And if its urgent, leave it urgently. Beep. Then hang up

What’s bracken bro, how you livin

My names Chelsea, what’s your favorite dinner food

You have reached Mistress Elena’s Dungenous Deeds how may I be of pleasure to you today

To talk to a customer, please press one

I’m gay

Just start singing

Try to sell them something. That will throw them for a loop

Pretend the line is breaking up by making static sounds with your mouth

Speak

State your purpose

What you want, baby I got it. What you need? You know I’m askin

Error 404 phone set to self destruct in 5… 4… 3…

*Liam Neeson voice* Whoever you are, I will find you and I will kill you

Answer with a lewd moan

Answer crying

I have done all of these.

[warped-05-deactivated20210622]

[Your Last Name]’s funeral parlor, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em.

[Your State] Crematorium, you kill ‘em, we grill ‘em.

[Your Town] Hardware, wanna screw?

(only do these if you’re not expecting an important phone call likely to come from an unknown number though i’ve heard of people losing job opportunities due to this shit)

[aleatoryw]

no more minimalist aesthetics in 2020 we're dressing like birds of prey characters. gold pants. mismatched eyeliner. whatever huntress is doing that makes her so hot.