baz: i would like to,,,,give him the good succ
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@karydot99
baz: i would like to,,,,give him the good succ
I guess dubstep never dies.
what she says: i’m fine
what she means: the tv show iCarly always portrayed Spencer as some bumbling idiot after dropping out of law school after three days, but they disregard the fact that this means Spencer did in fact finish college with a degree and knew enough about the law to pass his entrance exams and had good enough grades in his classes to be accepted into a law school therefore the image that they portrayed of him being stupid is false, he was simply a man who realized his passion lied elsewhere and he wasn’t going to pay a tuition for a law school studying that when his heart wasn’t in it. he was a smart man with the knowledge and capability to do anything, and he chose his art
shit hes right.
A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.
just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are
thIS WHOLE FUCKING ARTICLE
????????????????????????????
convert your office into a horrible disaster
This should be what nsfw means
what a vague and potentially concerning caption
One more baby converted into a lizard person. Thousands to go.
He knows to much!!! Get him!!!!
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.
“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.
For real.
“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”
So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
Source: http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport
OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS.
I’ve seen the first post a bunch of times, but never the story of How The Santa Tracker Started.
[ID: the first picture is a tweet from @howtobeprada/ awkward. it says:
‘imagine if you called the wrong number and it ended up being a celebrity. “mom?” “no this is Morgan Freeman”’
The second picture is an old Sears advert that shows Santa Claus laughing. It says ‘Hey kiddies! Call me direct on my MErry Xmas telephone. Just dial ME 2-6681. Call me on my private phone and I will talk to you personally any time of day or night, or come in and visit me at Sears Toyland’.]
what was this show
a fucking gift to humanity
What show is this?
what was this show
a fucking gift to humanity
I didn’t used to care about graffiti removal until I saw “dank meme graffiti”
this shit has to go
the barriers between internet and reality are getting seriously frayed
This poisoned my blood and gave me strep throat
Lushsux does really good graffiti tho
this addition does nothing but help my argument further
snk fandom? no you misunderstood me. im in the sink fandom
is that the fucking entrance to the chamber of secrets
that is the most beautiful sink i have ever seen can i join this sink fandom
god
bless
the
sink
fandom
@the-bass-queen
im joining
I’m in
Reblog if ur part of the sink fandom
if you’re ever scared you’re not a good person, remember that bad people don’t care about being better
i need to hang this on my wall this just fixed my whole mood today
“Y’see, the first time my Dad kissed my Mom was at a Love Handel concert, and it’s their anniversary -“
“B to the O-R-I-N-G.”
“Not yet Ferb.”
i love how he doesn’t say ”no, ferb.”
he says ”not yet.”
as in they were planning to bludgeon him with a mace
Ferb I know what were gonna do today
Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack prey that runs
jesus that is good to know.
Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetahs are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetahs are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Others will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll lose their cubs. So zoos with breeding programs had to figure out how to make cheetahs comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying. So what’d they do? They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs! The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!
AJHHHHFDDGHH SO PRECIOUS
this post just got so much better
THIS IS OFFICIALLY MY FAVOURITE POST
this is emmett and cullen they are best friends
This is the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.
Dogs are truly angels.
they’re so anxious that they cant mate without a wingman hajaksslak
Mark Zuckerberg lost $119 Billion dollars on the stock market today (7/26/18). This is the largest loss of wealth in a single day in modern stock history.
This will literally not change his lifestyle or effect his livelihood at all. He is still a multi-billionaire.
If I worked every single day, for the rest of my life, at $15/hr - which is more than twice the national minimum wage - I would never make even 1/1000th the amount of just the money that Zuckerberg lost today.
If I worked every single day, for the entirety of the time that anatomically modern humans have existed (200,000 years) - at $15/hr - I would still not make one tenth of the amount of just the money he lost today.
And he is still a billionaire and will lose literally zero luxury or well-being from what happened today.
You want to know how absolutely grotesque modern wealth inequality is?
There you go.
Okay EVERYONE WHO KEEPS SAYING RAINBOW MIGHT KILL BAZ CAN I JUST - -
OKAY? OKAY.
(I know this doesn’t say anything about Simon but COME ON GUYS SHE WOULDN’T)
“baz is forever” yeah, no this definitely does not bring up themes of immortally what are you talking about janet
o fuck
I didn’t
think about it
like that
DAMMIT
Behold! The first discord emotes!