Thereâs a lot of it apparently, and itâs really quite neat to see it all in one place, and I think this will help keep my fic posts far more organized!
Writing Tag
Ao3 Profile
Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug
Multichapters
Right Behind You (In Progress)
Adrino, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Fluff w/ Happy Ending,
Rated T, 70k+ words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | ⊠| 26 |
Yin and Yang (In Progress)
PRPR Love Square, Body Swap, Light Angst,
Rated T, 21k+ words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ⊠| 13
Rena Rouge: Secret Keeper (In Progress)
Core Four OT4, hurt comfort, alya knows all, shenanigans, Happy Ending
Rated T, 9k+ words
1 | 2 |Â 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ...
The Jokeâs On Me (In Progress)
Adrino, Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, no powers au
Rated T, 2k+ wrods
The Untold Story of DJWifi (In Progress)
DJWiFi, Fluff and Angst, Rated T, 7.8k+ words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | ⊠| 14
Not Part of the Plan
Established Ladynoir, Unplanned Teen Pregnancy, Sex Positive
Rated T, 36k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
Love Remains
Ladynoir, Amnesia, Marinette Gave up the Guadianship
Rated T, 14k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
Would Trust You with Anything
Adrino, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending
Rated T, 24k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
Kisses in the Rain
Adrinette, Angst with sweetness and happy ending,
Rated T, 4k words
1 | 2 | 3
Restorative Justice
Core Five Friendship, Chloe POV, Chloe Redemption, Minor Love Square, Therapy Fic,
Rated T, 32k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Rite of Passage
Love Square, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Rated T, 11k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4
Best Friends and Boyfriends
Adrino, Fluff, Rated T, 21k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8Â
The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir
Platonic Adrino, Love Square, Minor DJWifi, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Rated T, 40k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
Let Yourself Be Happy
Ladrien, Fluff, Wholesome Smut (I swear thatâs accurate!), Underage, Rated E, 20k words
1 | 2
An Open Secret
PRPR Love Square, Mutual Pining, Fluff w/ Light Angst, Rated T, 19k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4
Last Wishes
Love Square, Major Character Death, Angst, Rated T, 11k words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Confessions to a Statue
Adrinette, Fluff w/ Light Angst, Rated T, 6.8k words
1 | 2 | 3
Oneshots & Reveals
Rings True (Ao3)
Ladynoir/Ladrien Reveal, Post S5, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Rated T, 5.6k words
Spin the Bottle (Ao3)
Core Four OT4, Kisses and Confessions, Polyamory, Rated T, 9.5k words
Just an Ordinary Girl (Ao3)
Marichat, Square Dance Remix, Rated T, 2.5k words
Representation (Ao3)
Rewrite of 5x23, Marichat Reveal, hurt/comfort, Rated T, 2.8k words
You Donât Have to Pretend with Me (Ao3)
Platonic Adrino, CaraNoir enemies to friends, Rated T, 3.8k words
No Regrets (Ao3)
Ladynoir Smut, Temporary Character Death, Rated E, 4.5k words
Displaced (Ao3)
Post Reveal Ladrien, Only One Bed, Family Fluff, Rated G, 850 words
Meddlesome Friends (Ao3)
Ladynoir talking season 4 out, Rated T, 6k words
Donât You Know People Care About You? (Ao3)
Adrino, Kiss, Rated T, 1.3k words
How Far Weâve Come (Ao3)
Adrien Agreste Character Study, Introspective, Rated T, 2.9k words
When You Lose Someone (Let Them Go) (Ao3)
Love Square Break Up, Angst, Rated T, 5.7k words
Locked in a Closet based on MissNoodleâs Me, My Best Friend, and Her Cat
Multichat/Adrinette Identity Reveal, Fluff, Rated T, 1.3k words
Angry Hour based on komorebireiâs Sad Hour
PRPR Love Square, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Rated T, 2.2k words
I Needed You and You Werenât There based on MissNoodleâs âgave my blood sweat and tears for this.â Love Square, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Rated T, 1.8k words
Fic Rec Lists
My Lists of Recommended Adrino Fics because Rarepairs are Hard to Find and Iâm Obsessed with Adrino.
Part 1 | Part 2
Miraculous Long Fic Recs for those that need novel length stories.
Link
Fandom: Sailor Moon
Multichapters
Coming of Age (In Progress - on hiatus)
Chibiusa Grows Up, UsaMamo Established Relationship, Family, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Loosely based on Black Moon Arc, Technically a Sequel to Going it Alone, Rated T, 15.4k+ words
Status: I donât work on this one often, but I still absolutely love it. I joke about needing a five year old role-model to write Chibiusa. My daughter is three at the momentâŠÂ
Invisible Wounds (In Progress - on hiatus)
AmiZoi, Epidemic, Past Life Baggage, Medical Drama, Rated T, 43k+ words
Status: I struggle to work on this one because my writing has changed and itâs about an epidemic that I started before the pandemic startedâŠÂ
A Craving For Chocolate Milkshakes
UsaMamo, Mind Reading, Dramedy, Humor, Rated T, 28k words
Anything to Protect You
UsaMamo, Fake Dating, Stalker, Hurt/Comfort, Rated T, 33k words
Going it Alone
UsaMamo, Nonconsensual Elements, Loosely Based on Doom Tree Arc, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Underage, Rated M, 81k words
Once Upon a Dream
UsaMamo, Romance, Loosely Based on Dark Kingdom Arc, Rated T, 49k words
Nightmares
UsaMamo, Romance, Loosely Based on Break Up Arc, Sequel to Once Upon a Dream, Rated T, 37k words
The Tsukino Family Reveals (Actively In Progress)
Family Feels, Each chapter kinda stands alone, Rated G, 10.5k+ words
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Status: Both Parts are outlined and have snippets of scenes.
One Shots
One-shot Reveals
UsaMamo, Variety of genres, Rated G and T, 26.7k words total
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
The Sol of the System
Serenity x Endymion, Silver Millennium, First Meeting, Open Ending, Rated T, 6.2k words
Box of Chocolates
UsaMamo, Fluff, Rated G, 860 words
Date Night
UsaMamo, Fluff, Rated G, 1.2k words
Long Distance Relationship
UsaMamo, Established Relationship, Mutual Pining, Rated T, 4.6k words
Happy Birthday
UsaMamo, Pregnancy, Labor and Delivery, Rated T, 2.9k words
Fight and Make Up
UsaMamo, Angst w/ Happy Ending, Rated T, 2.4k words
Rainbow
UsaMamo, Fluff, Rated G, 544 words
Fandom: Chrono TriggerÂ
Fighting Fate
Chrono Trigger Novelization, My Earliest Writing (watch me improve chapter by chapter), Rated T, Word Count - 203k
Someone said âThe slow burn of becoming yourselfâ and I think that might be one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. Itâs such a good reminder of how much it takes, how much character development, how much change, and beauty and courage it takes to reach your soul and I hope no one ever gives up on becoming themselves because itâs a never ending journey that only gets better.
Okay and now onto my one bit of actual analysis not random freakout posts â Iâve been wondering this one since the trailer for the last two episodes came out actually and I havenât personally seen anyone commenting on it yet (maybe someone has but I havenât browsed the discourse on the finale yet) so.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE WALL IN THE LAST ADRINETTE SCENE OF SADNANSI
Because in that scene, the wall is painted a solid colour. In the the last scene of Nemesis, it still has the random paint samples. So, eitherâŠ
1. Sadnansi is an animation error, orâŠ
2. We havenât scene how that last scene in Sadnansi turns out yet
And honestly? Iâm leaning towards option 2. Because thatâs such an important scene I feel. I donât think theyâd completely miss such an obvious thing as the paint???
And I always thought that it would be weird for Adrien to finally choose such a blah colour after everything in season 6. Like okay, it could be a primer before the actual colour, but in terms of storytelling it makes no sense for them to show a primer instead of the colour he would ultimately choose.
BUT IF MARINETTE BREAKS UP WITH HIM. AND THE SADNANSI END SCENE IS SOMEWHERE IN THE SEASON 7 TIMELINE AFTER THAT HAPPENS. THEN. YEAH IT MAKES A LOT IF SENSE HE PICKED A BORING ASS COLOUR TO REPRESENT HIS SADNESS
what do you think should be explored in ml season 7 based on loose ends/the season 6 finale? and then what other stuff would you personally like to see?
Hi anon!!! Great questions - thanks for the ask!
I think a couple things I really want to see in season 7 â not so much inspired by the finale directly, but we definitely didnât get answers then â would be:
1. What the fuck is going on with the Kingdom. And how does Nathalie fit into that? Maybe we could even meet Nathalieâs fatherâŠ? Omg I feel like thereâs so much to explore thereâŠ
2. LILAâS FREAKING BACKSTORY. I need to know why she is the way she is ahahahaha
On a personal note⊠I donât think thereâs a lot Iâm wishing for, because Iâm sure the show will be entertaining no matter what and I trust that no matter what happens I will enjoy the ride. Like the love square will figure things out eventually, love and friendship will prevail, etcâŠ
BUT I WANT TO SEE LADRIEN KISS JUST ONCE COME OOOOON ITâS ONLY FAIR
An idea for the end of Miraculous Season 6 that I think would be interesting:
Marinette gives Adrien the letter from his father. To her surprise, he's not mad at her for keeping the letter and its information from him. He's devastated, of course--how could he not be?--but what a burden it must have been on Marinette to be the only one carrying this truth on her shoulders.
No, the one he's actually mad at is Ladybug. She lied to the whole world. It's bad enough that he's been so conflicted and confused over his memory and grief of his father because of it; his opinion of Gabriel has always been complicated. But Ladybug's lie hurt Marinette, made her scared to talk to him. Naturally, he wants to ease her heart as soon as he can. That's when he remembers his Miraculous Chat Noir move. He can take this burden off of his girlfriend's mind.
Marinette is shocked when he transforms into Chat Noir in front of her eyes but once he gets past her sudden pleading not to go through with the Miraculous Chat Noir, her memory of his identity is erased along with that of Gabriel Agreste's.
With Marinette's heart less troubled due to her memories of Gabriel being Monarch having been destroyed, Chat Noir decides the only thing to do is to go confront Ladybug, and demand an explanation for why she hid that fact.
One thing about Alya is that I don't think she fully understands that as Ladybug Marinette does not have a choice that most people do. She does not have a choice in whether or not she hurts the people she loves. The only choice she has is in how.
She can keep being Ladybug from her parents and let them always be disappointed in her disappearances and flighty behavior, not knowing the true cause. Or she can tell them and put them in direct danger for knowing. In this season they were in direct danger even without knowing, so the choice was out of her hands and telling them could not put them in more danger than them not knowing. But both ways of operating hurt them.
With Adrien she can tell him the truth about his father and watch him go through that pain and that existential crisis, or she can hide it and watch as he struggles to make sense of a situation that doesn't make sense. But either way she is going to end up hurting him.
For the city she can tell the world who Monarch was, and watch as it all comes down to bear on her friends and makes them pariahs the world over. Or she can lie, risk herself being the villain, and let Paris continue to wonder who caused all this pain. But she can't not cause more pain.
Even when it comes to Being Ladybug. She can continue, putting herself and her loved ones in constant danger from people who want what she has and will do anything to get it and making her family worry about her constantly. Or she can quit and lose all of her memories, essentially die in a way, and put her loved ones through the pain of loving a person they can never get back.....but what she Absolutely Cannot Do, is make a decision that won't hurt them somehow.
Alya doesn't fully understand that. It's why she wouldn't let up until Marinette told her her secret identity. It's why she couldn't lie to Nino about being Rena Rouge, and it's why she can't let up on finding out what Mari is hiding now.
When she does find out the fallout is going to be because she doesn't understand that Marinette/Ladybug has literally had a position thrust upon her where she has to hurt people, and her only say is in exactly how she does it.
So if there is a renunciation arc, I think it's going to result in Alya learning a lot about these things she didn't consider before. And eventually a pretty big apology to Marinette for the ways Alya not understanding this hurt her.
i will take a brief pause from my freaking out to say that i need to add the "marinette told her parents" point to the "proof of marinette's s6 character growth" essay i'm never gonna actually get around to writing
like, i don't care how scared she was, how she didn't really have a choice, etc...
Thinking about Yor trying to have the "You can't die please take your life and health more seriously. What would we do if something happened to you?" Conversation again and Loid just going: Oh! I've been meaning to have this conversation!
Going and pulling out a will. Loid Forgers bank information. His life insurance policy.
So if (when) I die obviously you get Anya as my wife but Franky is listed as the godfather (no don't tell him he'll think we're friends I can't have that.) Just in case something Also happens to you.
This is my life insurance plan from the hospital. It should cover you for a while, especially if you pull her from Eden. (Or she gets expelled.) This account has Anyas Mothers life insurance which I only use for Anyas expenses. (Explaining how he sometimes spends insane amounts on her but does live fairly frugally. It's a wise account. He's definitely not putting part of his actual check in there for them. Nope. Definitely not.) And the car vehicle title is in here too. You can sell that. I set the fire box code to your birthday so you won't forget it.
Yor just standing there as he outlines exactly how to live on after him. Like. That wasn't the conversation. I want you to live a long life. I want you to rely on me. To be healthy and happy.
Not to discuss how you've already covered the cost of cremation at X facility (wise run) just in case so don't worry about that. The details are here. It's all sorted.
"Loid are you... Planning on dying?"
And if course he is. Loid Forger has an expiration date. Making sure it's as painless for her as possible is- well it's just-
"My wife died suddenly. Young. It made me realize how important being prepared for that possibility is. Because of Anya."
"Oh. I see." Coming and sitting next to him by the fire box safe. "Thank you. But please. Never make me use any of this." Taking his hand. The one she didn't fractured. "We need you. Anya needs you. So please rely on me a little more. We need you to live a long life."
Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.
It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.
To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.
This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.
Join me below, if you would.
2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.
Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadnât even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.
It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.
But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.
The next day, weâre on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that sheâs surprised the two of us arenât up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.
âEveryone else?â Goes I, âI thought they wouldâve shut that down already?â
âOh no!â goes she, âThe courts arenât open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. Theyâre doing them all weekend long!â
We didnât know because social media wasnât a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as Iâd read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.
"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, itâs a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but weâre not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?
The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.
We had slightly miscalculated.
Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone whoâd gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.
âIsnât City Hall closed on Monday?â I asked. âItâs a holidayâ
âOh sure,â they reply, âbut people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.â
âOh cool,â we go, âBackup.â
âMake sure youâre here if you do,â they say, âbecause the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.â
And all this shit is super not-legal, so theyâll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.
00000
We donât get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.
Itâs⊠incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of othersâ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.
At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, âThatâs Newsom.â He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.
Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.
So dusk is starting to fall. Itâs February, so itâs only six or so, but itâs getting dark.
âShould we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?â we ask.
âYeah, Iâm afraid thatâs not going to be possible.â One of the volunteers tells us. âWeâre not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. Weâd need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.
Monday is the last day to do this, after all.
00000
So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.
The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people whoâre up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.
âUh.â We go. âWhat the fuck is -this-?â
So.
Remember why they werenât going to be able to have people hang out overnight?
Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties thatâd gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.
Itâs 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least werenât likely to loose job protections any time soon.).
Then it starts to rain.
We had not dressed for rain.
00000
Here is how the next six hours go.
Weâre in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. Itâs around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and youâve got a makeshift raincoat! So youâve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.
Everyone is so happy.
Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.
People online start making delivery orders.
Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because theyâre just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.
A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all weâre sinning and to please donât. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against Godâs will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.
The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how âNot even DOGS do such things!â Which⊠Yes they do.
A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that weâre willing to come out in the rain to do this while theyâre not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.
Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall weâre on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when weâre on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when weâre on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.
00000
We have Line Neighbors.
Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. Theyâve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. Heâs worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. Theyâd started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.
The most perky energetic joyful woman Iâve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. Sheâs their local friend whoâd just gotten their message about what theyâre doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.
Behind us are a lesbian couple whoâd been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. âWe met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because itâs our first love city.â
âThen they announced -this-,â the other one says, âand we canât leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.â
âI told them why,â her partner says, âI donât care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.â
My husband-to-be and I look at each other. Weâve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? Weâre potentially taking a spot from another couple thatâd been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.â
âDonât you fucking dare.â Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.
âThis is as much for you as it is for us!â says the lesbian couple whoâve been together for over a decade behind us.
âYou kids are too cute together,â says the gay coupleâs friend. âyou -have- to. Someday -youâre- going to be the old gay couple thatâs been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.â
We stay in line.
Itâs while weâre on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. âCan we say weâre with you? His uncles are already inside and theyâre not letting anyone in who isnât with a couple right there.â âOf course!â we say.
The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but thereâs free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so heâs having a great time.
We pass by a statue of Lincoln with âMarriage for All!â and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.
Itâs about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.
Theyâve promised that anyone whoâs inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. Weâre safe.
We still have a -long- way to go.
00000
Theyâre trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways Iâm not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.
Itâs after weâve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. âItâs an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you donât have to do it there!â
We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.
We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.
I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.
The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.
Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.
The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.
A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. Sheâs done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. âOh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today Iâm acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-â
The guy behind the counter has been there since six. Itâs now 1:30. Heâs still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. âAlright, go to the Rotunda, theyâll direct you to someone whoâll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, theyâll direct you to -that- line.â âCanât you just mail it to us?â âNormally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, weâre not going to be allowed to.â
We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.
If youâve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, youâve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.
Thatâs for the people who didnât bring their own wedding officials.
Thereâs a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. Theyâre doing the whole damn thing. Thereâs at least one more Rabbi at work, I canât remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.
We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)
I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I canât get the ring on my husbandâs finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.
There really isnât a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that weâd made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands whoâd cheered for us generally.
Then we're married.
Then we get in line to get our license.
Itâs another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayorâs office.
Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked âTHANK YOU!âs that have been piled up against it.
We make it to the marriage records office.
I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then weâre done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.
It's almost 3PM.
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There are cheers, thereâs rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. Itâs no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. Thereâs barely even any news vans.
We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading âCongratulations!â jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.
Iâm at the BART station, weâre waiting for our train back south, and Iâm sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. âHey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just⊠Iâm so happy for you. Iâm so proud of what you could do. Iâm- Iâm just really glad, glad you could get to do this.â
He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.
Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.
We get back to our car and climb in.
Itâs 4:30 and we are starving.
Thereâs a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.
We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what weâd just done.
We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.
The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsomâs marriages.
My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. âNo! No one knew that theyâd go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! Iâll just be there for the next one!â
00000
It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didnât even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was âmarriage really isnât that important, aside from the legal benefits. Itâs just confirming what you already have.â
But maybe itâs just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and Iâve never really come up with a better metaphor is, âItâs like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each otherâs support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.
It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.
I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. Itâs been twenty years and weâre still together and still married.
We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. Weâd done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husbandâs collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.
Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.
It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldnât negate it that time.
Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"
And that was that.
00000
When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didnât expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldnât see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.
I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before Iâd barely started by 30s. I never thought Iâd be in my 40s and itâd be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers wouldâve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.
I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.
I never thought Iâd live in this world.
And itâs twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.
I donât have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you canât predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.
The future weâre resigned to doesnât have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.
And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those whoâre against it will brave.
easy to miss that one of the reasons maternal mortality is diminished so extremely by modern medicine is that modern medicine makes it so much more possible to identify the pregnancies that will die and take you with them, or are otherwise unacceptably high risk. and then discontinue those ones safely, before it's too late.
thought about this because it's so frustrating when people argue that 'dying in childbirth' is a historical sort of event that doesn't happen nowadays (false) and therefore is irrelevant to the legal status of abortion, since it's not a real danger.
except it super is, and i think a lot of people haven't noticed that this argument in addition to simply being incorrect is basically the same as when people say we don't need vaccines for deadly diseases because no one gets those now anyway.
like yeah one reason for that is we vaccinate everybody ffs.
The thing is, the anti abortion movement does not consider abortions for ectopic pregnancies, or nonviable pregnancies, or helping to complete a miscarriage an abortion. It 100% is an abortion, but when they talk about ending abortion, these procedures are, for some reason, something different. So when you bring this up, they will insist that abortion is never a necessary procedure to save someone's life. It's a trick of language, because if it is to save the life of the mother, it is not an abortion.
So if abortion is ended, the lack of access to abortion is not what ends up killing women. It is, instead, something else. Abortion access, to the anti abortion crusader, has nothing to do with saving the life of the mother.
They are wrong. Medical doctors use mifapristone or D&Cs or other abortion procedures to save lives. These are, by definition, abortion procedures. But the anti abortion activist will not admit it.
And because of this inability to consider these as life-saving procedures, this line of conversation gets lost.
The Catholic-hospital reasoning for removing whole fallopian tubes, instead of just the bit an embryo is attached to, is that the point of option two is killing the embryo. In option one, that's merely an undesirable but inevitable side effect, as is the loss of half the future opportunities for this person to get pregnant without fertility clinic assistance.
There's an active campaign to make mifepristone illegal right now in the United States, and I have barely seen the story. If successful, this will absolutely kill women (state bans have already done so. Data. Individual Stories).
