Thoughts and Feelings

Here for all things CC and Kate Martin

[katelinfan]

Hiya!

I figured I should probably drop a pinned post for everyone

Here's the link to my AO3 account!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I've been re-dropping edited versions of some of my stuff from tumblr on there too!

Otherwise you can find most of my stuff with #katelinfanwrites on here :D

[katelinfan]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56946979/chapters/179359116

It's here! Chapter 13! Looking Into Your Eyes

Hope you all enjoy!

[katelinfan]

Hope you come back to 'I wish you would' one day twin. Hope life's also going good for you? x

Hi! I'm coming back, I promise. I've been super busy having started a new job halfway throughh this summer, but the chapter is at 6.9K and I feel like I have between 500 and 1K left to write... so I hope you all will feel it's been worth the wait!

[katelinfan]

Are you working on the next chapter?

Well anon, I hit 3.4 K tonight... So yes, I am working on Chapter 13...

I know there's been a little bit of a drought. It's coming... No hints!

[katelinfan]

We are literally dying waiting for the next chapter.

Well I hope not /literally/ dying! Then you won’t be around for the next one! I’ve had a very busy schedule as of late, so I’m not able to write as much as I’d like… but soon, I promise.

[katelinfan]

This chapter was so worth the wait. It did make me want to yell into an abyss though. It was so good!!!

I mean… I think Caitlin wanted to yell into the abyss in this one as well! Chapter 13 may be a little bit of a wait again, but I’m very glad you enjoyed 12 anon!

[katelinfan]

The title of the chapter and then you added the Taylor swift lyrics?! 😩 Ma’am….that was brilliant 👏🏻

lol anon… have you not been paying attention? Every chapter of I Wish You Would is named after lyrics from every song featured! But thank you! I couldn’t help but use exile…

[katelinfan]

I Think I've Seen This Film Before

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56946979/chapters/162431629

Chapter 12 of I Wish You Would has arrived... feel free to yell at me....

[katelinfan]

So excited for the next chapter.

So how does a chapter drop in about 24 hours sound? I need to do an edit but I think I finally finished chapter 12 😁🫣

I don’t know what you need for this chapter… maybe another stiff drink if you’re over 21… maybe just have someone ready on standby with hugs…

[katelinfan]

Is the next chapter almost done? Love this story.

Well… the chapter is sitting at about 2.8K… I think it’s about halfway done… I promise I’m working on it! Getting a little Katelin content this past weekend definitely helped though

[katelinfan]

Please come back 😭 I’ve read this fic so many times and the need to know what happens next is real.

Anonymous asked:

Is there a new chapter soon? I’m gonna need them to fuck already after all that sexual tension in the last chapter. And maybe some of Caitlin’s teammates finding out about Kate finally? This story is so so good.

Anonymous asked:

The way i miss this story. Please update?

Anonymous asked:

This story not being updated is killing me. The writing is so good and i love your version of them together. Their chemistry is crazy. Please update soon?

Anonymous asked:

Are we getting chapter 12 soon? Dying to read it.

Hi everybody, I am in fact still here. I've had a very busy holiday season and the wife and I are both just getting over being very sick. Soooo yes I am working on 12 now... It's slow going but it's happening. Hang in there. Soon.

[katelinfan]

Happy Early Turkey Day... Chapter 11 is here...

"Wondering what I gotta do, or who I'm supposed to be"

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[katelinfan]

Preview: I Wish You Would Chapter 11

1.3K- Just a little something to tide you over... no lyrics yet so no official chapter title yet... but here's a little something that Caitlin has been up to...

The other two laughed it off and went back to watching the show as Caitlin sat with her mind still spinning, suddenly way more interested in it than she thought she’d be. She pulled her phone out to text the media manager at the fieldhouse, but her phone opened back up to the email. Tears she had been holding back for hours made their way down her cheeks. Lexie looked over, she pulled the phone away from Caitlin and locked it before placing it on the coffee table. She pulled C in for a tight hug and felt her shirt get wet and Caitlin’s shoulders began to shake.

Neither Lexie or Katie had seen Caitlin this upset. They knew things had been rough with Connor, their trips together were always tense and unless they were hanging out doing something competitive Caitlin had tended to seem more annoyed with him than anything, which was why they shared a look of concern over the still crying Caitlin. It wasn’t adding up. It had only been 2 weeks, and she had every right to still be upset, but still suddenly crying at her phone? Something else was surely going on…

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lexie tried to brush Caitlin’s hair away from her face before she lurched herself away.

Caitlin stared sheepishly back and forth between the two blondes and shook her head. “No…” She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes with the cuff of her sweatshirt. “Except… guys I’m gay.” C pulled her knees up tightly into her chest under the blanket as she wrapped her arms around her legs. She rested her chin on her knees and avoided eye contact.

Lexie and Katie shared knowing smiles. “Caitlin… we’ve known you for almost 2 years now… did you think we hadn’t guessed?”

“Everyone keeps saying that!”

“So, Connor was just…”

“A beard? Yeah…”

“Okay, so why all the crying then? Are your parents not handling well? Is it something with your team?”

“Well… no, my mother is still a wreck, and the team lost a few people, and the agency is still assigning a few new replacements. But my agent stayed and my dad… well he’s said what everyone has said. He’s known all along.”

“Okay… there’s no way you’re sniveling over your mom…”

“It’s not something I really want to talk about it.” She stared wide-eyed at her phone, still not knowing what to do. She didn’t want anyone else besides Colin to know about her and Kate. She struggled to think of anyone she could risk talking to, and whether when she called, they’d answer.

“Is it a girl?” Lexie leaned in teasingly and jabbed her in the stomach a little.

C flinched and smiled, letting out a small chuckle. “Maybe, but I really don’t want to talk about it.” The wine still had her brain spinning and she panicked she had already said too much.

“Alright, well I guess that means…” Katie reached out and grabbed the empty bottle. “We’re gonna need another bottle.” She shuffled back to the kitchen and grabbed the corkscrew.

Caitlin sighed and let out a sad sounding laugh. “Fine more wine. More of this stupid show and more time with my friends.” The word felt heavy on her tongue. It was probably just the wine, but the ache to pick up the phone and end the months of silence officially screamed through her entire body. Friends? Is she serious? We’ve never just been friends. How can she say that now? Why can’t I just take it all back?

A few hours later Katie and Lexie both had passed out on her couch and Caitlin was still up watching. She picked up her phone and read Kate’s email again. The only person she thought she had a chance of actually talking to was definitely halfway around the world. Still, she sent off a message to Monika and waited to see if there would be a response.

CC: Hey Mon… any chance you could talk for a while? Maybe skype to avoid international fees?

It sat unread for a few minutes. She did some math, it was 9 AM where she was, there was a chance Monika was awake, but maybe at the gym.

MC: Hey girl… you want to catch up? Isn’t it like the middle of the night there? Are you drunk?

CC: I might be… but I’d really love to talk…

MC: About Kate?

CC: What… why would you think that?

MC: Because you’re both dumb. She and I have already talked.

CC: Ouch. I guess I lost you in the divorce huh?

MC: Never said that… you really want to chat?

CC: If you’re willing to… yeah

Caitlin’s phone started to buzz, and she quickly got up from the couch and moved to her bedroom. She turned on her nightstand light and sat on the bed, staring at the face of Monika.

“Look. I already heard her side of things. It sounds like the two of you have had a massive misunderstanding. I tried to tell her she should just talk to you. But I’m guessing she hasn’t even reached out yet. We haven’t spoken in over a week.”

“Well, she did reach out…” Caitlin sniffed, and tears rolled unwillingly back down her face.

“Oh god. What did she do? Leave a voicemail?”

“No. She sent an email…”

“Oh for fucks sake, Kate Marie Martin. Caitlin. You need to write back. This is absolutely ridiculous.”

“I can’t Monika. I don’t even know what to say.”

“You could start by telling her the truth.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?”

“Look me dead in the eye right now and tell me in your delirious state whether you love that ridiculous blonde troublemaker goddess or not.”

Caitlin’s jaw dropped. “She told you all that…” Her face went bright red.

“Oh, I know everything, at least from her side of things. Everything from that spin-the-bottle game forward.”

Caitlin’s mind spun, remembering the way Kate’s lips had tasted that night, the strawberry ChapStick she liked to use had transferred to Caitlin’s lips. She had spent the next few weeks trying to catch a glimpse of the tube in Kate’s pocket all the time and buying every damn one she could find, chasing the way she had tasted. She licked her lips subconsciously, “Mon, she’s my everything and I lost her.” She sobbed, her face scrunching up tightly.

“I don’t think you did.”

“She told… me… to move… on in the… email.” It came out stuttered, between hyperventilating sobs.

“Okay, Caitlin, you need to breathe for me. Deep slow breaths.” Monika tried to calm Caitlin’s breathing, forcing her to match her own slow over dramatic breaths. “Caitlin, I’m telling you, you need to write back to her.”

“Mon, I don’t think I can.”

“Do you love her?”

“Yes. I’m in love with Kate.”

“Then you need to tell her that.”

“I can’t!”

“Why not?”

“Because she literally wrote she wants to just be friends and that we should both move on with our lives. Monika. I’ve lost.” She shook her head and curled up in her bed.

“Well, tell her you don’t want that. Tell her you love her. She needs to hear it from you.”

“In an email? Are you kidding me?”

“Well, since you can’t seem to say it to her face, maybe it would be a good step…”

“I don’t think so, Mon.”

“Well then, I guess you are going to lose her. If you two can’t figure out how to be adults about this, maybe you deserve to lose each other. I don’t think that’s the case. I think you two are meant to be. But if you can’t get over whatever this… this fear is… maybe you should explore your options. But hear me when I say this Caitlin, I think it will be the biggest mistake of your lives.” They only spoke for a few more minutes, Monika gave her an update on what was happening over in Europe before Caitlin could barely keep her eyes open and asked to hang up. They said good night and Caitlin let her eyes close, only to dream of deep blue eyes that screamed in fury at her before they receded into the night.

[katelinfan]

Ch 11 soon?

Anonymous asked:

your fics give me life omg, just wondering how the chapter 11 is going? 😅

Anonymous asked:

Next chapter when???

Anonymous asked:

any time frame on the release of chapter 11? :)

Anonymous asked:

Chapter 11? Dying for an update. Love this story.

Hi everyone. Yes I'm alive, just extremely busy. Real life has been very chaotic on multiple levels so unfortunately writing had to take a back seat. But I am back to work on 11. I cannot give you a good time frame right now, but hopefully very soon.

Thanks for sticking around for it though!!!

Maybe I'll drop a litte preview for you if enough people ask...

[katelinfan]

Dying for chapter 11 of “i wish you would”. Any plans to post soon?

Hello anon! I am hoping to binge write chapter 11 over the next few days. Life has been pretty chaotic for the last several weeks with my job, but all this content we've been gifted the last few days I think will let me cook something up in the lab.

[katelinfan]

I just wanna say that you’re a great writer! Can’t wait for the next chapter!

Oh, I do have an ask/request: a Katelin angst fic with the following lines included/inserted in the story (also the theme of the fic):

1. “I wanted to write down exactly what I was feeling, but the paper stayed empty. And honestly, I couldn’t describe it any better.” - Kate

2. “All this anger was once love, Caitlin. All this anger is now grief.” - Kate

Well anon, you got your wish… chapter 10 and chapter 8 respectively for your requests! I hope you don’t mind I did tweak them ever so slightly

[katelinfan]

I’ll just drop this here…

In case you didn’t know…

Grab some tissues and/or a stiff drink if you’re of age.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works