PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Xuebing Du
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Sweet Seals For You, Always
★
Cosmic Funnies
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Cosimo Galluzzi
titsay
Show & Tell
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
KIROKAZE
YOU ARE THE REASON
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tumblr dot com
Discoholic 🪩
Sade Olutola
Keni
art blog(derogatory)
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@katie-crayton
Hello clowns and comrades
Katie
They/them
Fandoms:
Wtnv
Spirit box radio
Camp here and there
Tma
DNI:
Homophobic/Transphobic/Aphobic people, anti-systems, pro-shippers, NSFW accounts, hate/discourse blogs, ableist people, sexist or racists
sorry for the extra closeups i just.i dont want anyone to not see the heart eye highlights. they mean so much to me
ppl are so annoying “you can’t paint ur bedroom pink you’re an adult” i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige
I had a sales woman in furniture store try and tell me not to buy a hot bubblegum pink loveseat because she wanted me to “think about the future”
Bitch, I am thinking about the future. I already got a hot bubblegum pink couch at home and now I need a loveseat to go with it.
when I first bought my house, I announced my decision to paint my bedroom purple. I had wanted a purple bedroom for thirty damn years, you fucking bet I was gonna have one now. My friends decided, for some reason, that I meant what one of them referred to as “14 year old girl purple” (through what’s wrong with the colors a 14 year old girl chooses, I don’t know, even if they’re not what I want as an adult). They didn’t believe me until they saw the color on the actual wall, even thought they helped me pick out paints. My mother, meanwhile, decided to get worried that if I painted my bedroom a “dark purple”, it would be “depressing”. As if, with an entire house to live in, I would spend all my time in the bedroom, which I wanted to be dark because I would be sleeping in there. In the damn dark.
I had like one, maybe two friends who were all like FUCK YEAH YOU PAINT IT WHATEVER COLOR YOU WANT, PURPLE BEDROOMS ARE AWESOME.
But when they actualy saw the finished bedroom, every single one of them was like, “Oh yeah, that’s really pretty.” (Well, the ones who supported me from the beginning were more like WOOHOO.)
And the moral of the story is: Fuck ‘em, please yourself. Either they’ll come around, or you can safely ignore every question of taste they opine about for the rest of time.
This applies to other adulting activities, too. When I was a kid, I decided that I wanted to have a wedding cake made of doughnuts. When I got older, I figured that I would be “mature” about it and get a traditional cake, which the older adults approved of. Now that I’m 25 and facing the possibility of actual marriage in the near future, I’m just like “marriage is a social construct but it comes with tax & insurance benefits, so just give me that goddamn doughnut cake.” If they don’t like it then they don’t have to come to my wedding.
https://xkcd.com/150/
I would like you all to view my office. I’m thirty and my rainbow room is awesome, people can fight me
I’m thirty and my first big furniture purchase was a custom coffin shaped coffee table that opens up and is lined with purple crushed velvet. I would have loved it at 13 and I love it now. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to abandon what makes you happy.
GROWING UP DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
GROWING UP DOESN’T
MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I have told this story before, and I will tell it again, because I am An Old now and repeating stories forever is our prerogative:
When I bought my house, the kitchen was multiple shades of dingy white. It was dismal, but it was now mine! So went to the hardware store for paint (well, several trips, painted swatches on panel, etc — I’m very picky. But this was the final, ‘real’ trip). It was a busy day in the paint section. There were at least five people behind me in line.
Now, remember, latex paint is slightly lighter and brighter when wet than it is when dry. And I’d decided to paint my kitchen candy-apple red. The hardware store employee took my gallon off the Paint Jiggler and cracked it open to put a dab on the top, revealing the most incredibly deep pink, and behind me I hear the entire line of people say,
“Oh my god.”
…in perfect chorus.
I did not realize up until that moment that shocking a crowd of strangers with my paint color choices was a life goal, but at that moment I felt an absolutely overwhelming sense of achievement.
This is the door to my garage. It used to be white. Live your best life.
Mischief the cat says “Who goes there?”
Every visiting friend says “This is so cool.”
If you’re looking for an excuse to do some decorating that will make your soul sing, this entire thread is your sign to do it and don’t look back!
This is the door to
my garage. It used to be
white. Live your best life.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
At the company retreat, one extremely drunk girl asked what my pronouns were. (Eventually, it took her a while to word the question.) After the whole conversation was done, she goes- "YEAHHH GURL, Get on with--with THY bad self! See what I did?? They/them/thy."
I was almost holding back tears from trying not to laugh as I told her yes that's great you nailed it honey. Thank you very much I am feeling the love.
Anyway I've been assigned Thee/Thine at Supportive Drunk Girl
Good news. At work today I heard her and some of the other coworkers recounting the retreat, so I went over and I told her "Just so you know, and I mean this genuinely, sincerely, with all love in my heart and not a negative feeling in my body, asking someone their pronouns while you are drunk as a skunk is the funniest thing I've ever seen."
She had absolutely no memory of the conversation of course, but cracked up upon hearing it. When I told her that "They/them/thy" is branded into my brain forever, she immediately went "Pop OFF, your honor!"
So apparently she is exactly as funny when sober.
Spoopy Season Safety
Oh my god reblog to save a me thank you
Reblogging even though it's way past Halloween bc this is an important reminder!
Stay away from anything with charcoal during this season if you are on ANY medication!!!
This is misinformation!
Activated charcoal “flushes out” orally ingested medication. This is why it can “flush out” E pulls and birth control pills. It cannot “flush out” injected T or E, it cannot “flush out” a depo shot, and it does not impact it if you use something like T gel or patches.
You should only be careful if you take medication orally! Which is still a lot of people and important to know. But it does NOT impact anything that’s not orally ingested!
tumblr SHIELD. for 3 bucks a month, whenever a blaze post would appear on your dash, a pre-loaded post of yours instead appears on the dashboard of the person who tried to blaze you
tumblr BLAST. for 5 bucks a month, whenever a blaze post of yours would be blocked by tumblr shield, it instead appears in all caps at the top of the shielded person’s dashboard for an hour and flashes violently whenever they try to block it
tumblr POSSESS. for 200$ a day you can post using another person’s blog, though you cannot change their blog in any other way nor delete their previous posts. at the end of the day they receive half of the 200 dollars
tumblr TRUE SIGHT. for 6$ monthly you can see when a blog is possessed. tumblr SCRY. for 30$ a day you can read other blogs’ private messages
tumblr POWER WORD KILL. for a one time payment of 6,666 bucks, you can delete another blog entirely. tumblr notifies all of that blog’s mutuals that you killed them. each user can only use this feature once, and thereafter loses the ability to use any of the other tumblr spells. you must have been a user for at least 10 years to use this feature
tumblr UNDENIABLE SUMMONS. for 35$ you enchant a blog such that they cannot post again until they answer your ask. alternatively, you can simply set a price point of your choosing which they will receive if they choose to answer the ask (though they are not obligated to)
tumblr ENTHRALL. for 4$ a month you can use gifs as your icon again
tumblr FAMILIAR. for 5$ a month, you summon a small, cute familiar—such as a crab, snail, owl or frog—which can carry small messages onto your mutuals’ dashboards for you. owning a familiar also protects you from being tumblr POSSESSed by anyone but your own mutuals
tumblr REFLECT. for a one time payment of 100 dollars, the next time someone attempts to use POWER WORD KILL on you, they are deleted instead. there is no way of knowing whether someone has this feature active
this is the single saddest thing I’ve ever seen on cutthroat kitchen
The contestant didn’t speak English as a first language Due to this the judge didn’t judge his dish as biscuits and gravy but as brisket and gravy and the contestant moved onto the next round After this Alton started explaining the dish he was asking them to make more in detail to make sure it didn’t happen again.
THE CORRECT WAY TO REACT TO LANGUAGE MISCOMMUNICATION
should i actually try to use my discord again. i dont like servers they stress me out but maybe just to like. talk with people. would anyone. would anyone care
id talk to you. i need someone to hangout with on a discord call while i game
sorry guys i really like this stupid big knife
thas not where that goes
nooooooooo. naughty boy. no nife
Ref for the sweetest girl~ Treat !
sometimes plushies make me cry because it’s like. they’re little guys made to be loved. their only purpose is to be held and hugged and loved. we made them because we love making things and we love loving things. and they’re so cute
Years back, I was working at a specialty store, and we got this HUGE crate of plushy toys. They were all insanely cute and squishy. I knew kids would go nuts for them, as it was the first week of December, so parents and grandparents often had kids with them while shopping for furniture, lamps, cooking equipment, lights, etc.
One night, I was working my last hour of my shift covering the Customer Service desk, which meant when I wasn't busy, I was supposed to help clean up around the cash registers, including taking back items people changed their minds about at the checkout. Earlier, I had witnessed a kid carrying thos cute plushy toy. It was a brown and white hedgehog. The kid, at the checkout, saw a remote control car and he told his dad he qanted it. The dad told him, "The plushy or the car- you can't have both" (by the way, I respect boundaries with kids and parents sticking to their guns about it), and the kid picked the car.
So, I'm cleaning up, have less than an hour left of my shift, and I see the little plushy hedgehog. Somehow, he never got put back nor had anyone else seen him and decided to buy him. He was just sitting there, slumped to the side, unattended.
It's Christmas and I'm a sentimental old sap at heart. My brain starts replaying the scene from RUDOLPH where he's on the Island of Misfot Toys, and is told a toy is never truly happy until it is loved. I picked him up and quickly took him back to the bin with the plushies but... It was empty. He was literally the last plushy toy and my boss was about to wheel the bin out. We weren't getting any more toys till November, so that meant any toys left at this point needed to sell or they'd be sent to the dump.
I brought the little hedgehog to the front, figuring someone would see him with the candy, candles, & Christmas brick-a-brack, and fall in love with him. When I finished my shift, I went to ask my manager a question and as I passed the Christmas candle display - there he sat, the sad little slumped over hedgehog plushy. No one had bought him, or even moved him.
My manager, Phillip, saw me and the hedgehog. He asked how the hedgehog got there. I told him how I'd put him there when the bin got sent back, and he was the only plushy left. Philip had kids, I figured he'd probably get sentimental and buy it for his kids. Nope. He shrugged and said he'd send it back to be disposed of.
That night, I came home with a plushy hedgehog in my passenger seat. My mom saw him and just thought he was the cutest little hedgehog and asked what I wanted to do with him. I told her the story, then added I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do with him.
My mom is a child psychiatrist, specializing in children with PTSD and brain damage that results in learning problems/issues with processing their emotions. She asked if she could have the plushy hedgehog (even offered to pay me for him, she didn't expect me to just give him over), so kids could hug him when they were upset in session.
Murphy, the plushy hedgehog that still slumps a little to the left when seated, has been hugged by hundreds of kids. Little girls have held him tight while explaining about bullies, little boys have held him tight while crying over their panic attacks, younger siblings have held him to whisper secrets while elder siblings and parents talk about self-soothing techniques, teenagers have hugged Murphy while talking about the worst day of their lives. Murphy has also been hugged by kids excitedly chatting about a new friend at school, a teen girl excited to be called by her name instead of her dead-name, little kids proudly saying they've mastered their ABCs, and even staff members who just need to come chat over a case they are having trouble with.
Every now and then, my mom brings Murphy home for a weekend. He gets washed (she calls it a Spa Weekend, to her coworkers, all of them laughing), dried, and sits outside with my mom in the sunshine to get aired out, then on Monday, they are back to work. Some kids even just ask to hold Murphy while they talk, no matter their mood or what they want to talk about. They just want to hug Murphy.
So yes. Plushies are made for one purpose. To be hugged and loved. To be a comfort.
I'm so enamoured with this man
when i was a young boy i had the philosophy of ‘balls are the boobs of the penis so its ok that i want to suck on them it doesn’t make me gay” and tbh i was cooking
