please consider: TWRP, but hockey
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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@katsukiborkugou
please consider: TWRP, but hockey
hey I don’t think I’ve ever talked here about corn wolves. here let me find a gas station real quick
okay so I’m in the middle of nowhere stopped for gas in a small town in Iowa rn and my Internet is REALLY spotty so I hope this posts but
as people who have followed this blog for longer might know, sometimes I go hang out with this corn genetics lab at school, as in we meet up on friday nights to talk about corn science and stuff. once the corn genetics subject of the week is covered sometimes we go off track and start talking about other stuff. as u may imagine from a corn genetics lab, most of the members grew up on farms here in the midwest, and one night we were talking and a couple of the people started discussing an urban legend that they were taught as kids to keep them from running into their family’s cornfields and getting lost. one of those people was from Nebraska, and the other from rural minnisoda- these were isolated incidents of this urban legend happening, and all of us were deeply engrossed in this. i cannot make this shit up, this is the story:
there are wolves that live inside the corn when it’s full grown. they’re huge, and are camouflaged to hide in the fields. their breathing sounds like the misting of the irrigation systems set up over the corn in these areas for water. if they see small children in the fields, they kill and eat them.
now I’ve lived my whole life in suburban Iowa, and I can vouch that we don’t have irrigation systems like that here; our group came to the conclusion that this must be the reason that from our 7 or 8 person sample size, the corn wolves did not exist in Iowa, the largest producer of corn. I’ve never seen the corn wolves mentioned anywhere else outside that one night with the genetics lab, and it really fascinates me because as a horror/creepypasta person myself, I think it’s a great example of those strange little urban legends that never get written down on paper. the fact that it’s never appeared anywhere else in my life kind of confounds me, because it’s a really cool story. i like to go driving around rural Iowa when I’m home from college, and i always end up thinking about the corn wolves.
neither of the people believed it as kids btw lol
This is a FANTASTIC piece of Americana and cryptic lore. I propose making them a thing immediately.
(via teejus)
in case y'all wanna follow these playlists
Heady bros
white dudes who look like they like rap
basic 20-30s
30+
quiet ppl
POC
fucking hipsters
WM early 20s
early 20s fem
there are many other gems on this dude’s account
This is the guy
I’m...I’m sorry, I just this minute realized that there are people out there who have no idea that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the best fictional father out there. You guys don’t mind if I bombard your entire dashboard with proof right? Excellent.
BONUS: Doofenshmirtz around children he literally just met who wrecked his ‘inator’.
Literally I could go on and on with examples but my computer’s starting to crash from the amount of images.
The point is that Heinz Doofenshmirtz is the greatest fictional father out there and anyone who says otherwise was hit by a Lie-inator.
Hey op?
BEST POST ON TUMBLR
And then you read the whole thing in his voice.
There is either a cowboy in your house or there isn’t and you have to deal with that
……..what does this mean
It means you just have to deal with that
Do you ever wonder how many stories have been told about you? I don’t mean rumors or gossip. A story like “ one time I was at the mall and this girl dropped her hotdog but she picked it up and ate it” what if I’m that girl??how many times have people seen me do something I thought no one saw and is now being used as an ice breaker at a family dinner? Hmmmmmm?!???!
one time i was in this historical park in new york and i was climbing a tree in order to get a good photo and i fell out just as a family was walking past…two years later i ran into the mom at stop&shop and she gasped and said “oh my god, tree girl?” and i’ve never been the same since
Someone actually printed it out and framed it…
ok so i wanted to be funny and print and frame that one pic of bald jack but my computer printed this and i’m so fucking afraid
i went to the aquarium the other day and this middle aged woman touching the sting rays kept saying they feel like pasta
How I think Zootopia was made
Person at Disney Animation Studios: We should make a buddy cop movie
Other person: Did you say “bunny cop” movie?
First person: …Yes.
Man, when I was like 16 I got so sick of being made fun of for being the fat kid that I took an axe down inna woods, chopped down a tree, and started doing log-lifts all the time. I got strong as fuck, but I didn’t lose no weight. I actually got bigger.
Same thing happened when I got into fighting. I got even stronger, and I got *fast*, man, and nimble, like a cat. Still chubby.
Body-building culture is a bunch of crap, my dude. Functional muscle is not necessarily toned or lean. You can be swole as hell and still be heavy. And that’s cool.
Embrace your inner barbarian. And when fatphobic little gym twinks try to body shame you, you should DESTROY THEM with your MIGHTY AXE
Can comfirm, i am Quite Fat ™ but i still hit my punching bag hard enough last week make it touch the ceiling and broke a finger in the process
You know, I train with (martial arts) a bunch of dudes, and a few bodybuilders have showed up over the years.
And every damn one of those huge shredded motherfuckers has the endurance of a fucking newborn puppy. Fifteen minutes into warmups and they’re panting for air like like they’re about to die. I’ve sparred them and every one of them telegraphs their moves about two weeks in advance, and are slower than my dead grandpa because their huge useless muscles get in the damn way.
Now. I also work with a couple of guys who are not weightlifters. They do, however, do very physical jobs and are Big Dudes. Picture this sort of build.
No abs to speak of, a bit of a tummy, and those motherfuckers can pick up one of the weightlifters and throw them.
And they’re fast. Like, unfair fast.
Bodybuilding culture is bullshit. Embrace your status as a giant barbarian and if anyone gives you crap throw them off a mountain.
This is true for all humans, too!
At my heaviest (well over 300lbs) I still ran an 11 minute mile (pre-disability). And even when I was at my most active, and training intensely, I was never hardbodied despite working out full time. Functional muscle for me looks like horse legs and a big muscular butt with a soft tummy and big arms.
I’m built like a Celtic Warrior Goddess and I will never have a flat tummy and toned arms and that is fine by me because I could snap a grown man in half.
Yes!
Have you seen olympic powerlifters?
This is Sarah Robles, on the USA Olympic Powerlifting team.
Skinny? No. Could pick me up with one arm? Absofuckinglutely.
Sarah Robles was once in an auto accident. She braced her arms against the steering wheel & by main force held it back from smashing her in the chest.
She fought her car & she won.
wHAT
Holy shit I love her even more.
That would shatter my arms like glass.
Here’s a shitty redraw i did with a game grumps quote on it.
Blessing your day with some cute ass fluff dragons. Look at these lil sky puppies ❤😍😍😍 Ps i will be posting some actual DW stuff soon i promise
i swear my soul has aged for like an entire century since i finished high school i literally feel like theres an old granny living inside of me who just wants warm beverages and understanding from family while spending her days tucked away in bed