DMing is hard. I acknowledge this. Weaving a story with words for long periods of time means you’re gonna say something silly sometimes when your brain blips. And it’s not your fault that it’s so silly that your players share it around turning it into an inside joke, immortalizing your brain fart moment forever.
My DM was narrating a scene between our tiefling rogue and the NPC she was romancing. He was trying to set the mood for their first kiss, up on a tower overlooking the city, looking into each others eyes. They’d just been on a romantic date, there was a bottle of wine between them. And this was their moment.
The NPC leaned in to kiss the rogue and the kiss was, according to our DM, “long and normal.”
The entire session went off the rails. We became ungovernable creatures of hilarity. How long is normal?
We are informed normal is six seconds and we devolve even further into chaotic paroxysm of laughter. The DM desperately tried to rein us in but for the rest of the session everything took a long and normal amount of time.
My betrothed and I would kiss each other while counting to six in our heads then declare afterward, “Ah yes! Long and normal!”
I accidentally told my school team about it, reasoning that they’d at least never meet the DM who lives out of state. They’d say we needed the scene to be the long and normal length, or hold a pose for a long and normal time.
At the end of the year I invited them to my house for a celebratory meal and was surprised when my DM joined the DnD video call early. My teammates looked at him, expressions slowly spreading into evil grins. “Long and normal!” They greeted him.
He turned a look upon me of utter betrayal while I hustled them out of my house.
“It’s been a year!” He cried at the unfairness.
“Maybe it’ll phase out by next year,” I told him.
Yeah that seems like a long and normal amount of time to pass.
