solomon grundy want pants too

Mel/Mee 30s, ND, Queer, Cat Mom & Human Mom you'll figure it out

[inber]

sometimes i get richard siken and richard scarry confused in my head which has made for a few interesting literary conversations

[beyoursledgehammer]

This was funnier in my head.

also I’m sorry.

[mutationgirl]

(having a good week) that’s right. the goal is to increase my baseline. make the spirals shallower until they spin lazily on the surface of the water, lose their suction. im not trying to fix it all at once, im trying to incrementally improve my way into something tolerable. and once im there maybe i can shoot for good

(having a bad week) and in my terrible forge i will temper the flames of ruin

[prideprejudce]

so today a public health official guy came into my class to give a lecture on disaster awareness and he was talking about house fires and mentioned that the reason people most likely die during a house fire is because they refuse to leave their pet inside or they go back to get their pet. and right when he said this my friend immediately turned his head and looked at me and in that moment I had the most complete and genuine acceptance take over my body. I would 100% in front of my family and Jesus himself walk straight back into some raging inferno that was once my house to go get my fat cat. I nodded back

[prideprejudce]

the best part of this post is reading all the tags from animal people who would also go back to save their pets. like no hesitation. walk backwards from heaven straight back into hell. someone even said they would go back for their fish. amazing

[sterna-hirundo]

If you are a person who would walk into a blazing inferno for your animal, and your pet has free movement around the house, here’s a training exercise that could help save you both:

1) Set off your smoke alarm or play the sound on your phone (if your home has no smoke alarms, pease get some!)

2) stand BY THE FRONT DOOR to hand out treats

Do this a couple times and then keep it up NO EXCEPTIONS. Accidentally set the alarm off cooking? Treats by the door. Smoke alarm sound on TV? Treats by the door. Changing your smoke alarm batteries twice a year like you’re supposed to? Give them a test run and your pets get treats by the door.

Most dogs and cats will clue in VERY quickly that hearing that specific sound means go to the front door and wait for treats.

If there’s an emergency and even if you leave by another way, you will still know the most likely place your pet(s) is and can direct first responders to help.

You can also do this for any other kind of emergency alarm. My friend had both her cats trained to go to the front door for a tsunami siren.

[tiktaalic]

The most beautiful phrase in the whole entire world. Is. What are they gonna do. Fire me?

[thickness-protection-program]

I'm probably someone's "not this guy again" on Tumblr

[capyyybaraaa]

thius is fucking me up

[sukimas]

"you should be at the club" i should be in the woods. performing the ritual.

[depsidase]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: cheese safe

[emil]

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

[emil]

peggle make phone calls

[rolledincense]

Andre 3000 in Honey Magazine, 2002 shot by Marc Baptiste

[catamaurrr-star]

tumbblr should add a function where during your birthday every single instance of your pfp should have a party hat on top of it

[yihsch]

I love teaching children. It's an endless source of comedy.

She learned to read last week just to be betrayed this way. Brutal.

[catilinas]

friendly reminder that [the most cherrypicked interpretation of the text possible] <3

[eurobeatbeetle]

bring out the rotating tiger

[fivehoursofscreaming]

so youre telling me that some asshole can just throw together meaningless shit and get notes and attention yet when i put actual thought into the things i say nothing happens i am so fucking done with this bullshit god damn fuck

[eurobeatbeetle]

[fivehoursofscreaming]

oh

[sunderedstar]

just rewatched Jupiter Ascending and sorry not sorry that movie holds up actually. "technically speaking I'm an alien. and from the perspective of immigration, an illegal one" "luckily for you a woman owns this car /slaps a pad from the glove compartment on a bleeding wound/", harvesting eggs vs harvesting people for live-forever juice as a metaphor for capitalist exploitation, "the human beings on your planet are merely a resource waiting to be converted into capital." the aesthetic, the fashion, the CGI, the "I love dogs, I've always loved dogs." sean bean is there. literally this movie could not go harder.

[ironflower99]

I don't care what others think, I unironically loved Eddie Redmayne's acting. Was it over the top? Yes. Was it unique? Also yes.

I wanted to know more about the Abrasax family and the intergalactic politics. Honestly this movie should have been a TV series.

[jewishtransdyke]

If Eddie Redmayne ever dies in a plane crash, they'll be able to identify his remains by matching his teeth to the bite marks he left in this movie's scenery.

[princessdelacruz]

@thepittmonth > week 3: patients, cases, and healthcare john digby