Hi! What are your thoughts on INFP/ISTP relationships? Objectively speaking?
[see this post for relationship tips]
INFP (Fi-Ne-Si-Te) + ISTP (Ti-Se-Ni-Fe)
Fi v. Ti: ISTPs lack Fi so they are really not in touch with their inner selves especially in terms of feelings, emotions, opinions, etc. This makes it easy for people to project emotions onto them, which INFPs tend to do. ISTPs like to âfixâ things but INFPs are not necessarily interested in being âfixedâ. With both being introverted there is a risk of the two becoming too distant as they are tempted to retreat to their separate corners when things get difficult.
Ne v. Se: INFPs might want to help ISTPs reach their potential but ISTPs might rebuff such attempts because they are generally content with themselves. ISTPs like to enjoy the moment but INFPs find it hard to do that because they often have a lot going on inside.
Si v. Ni: INFPs sometimes use Si to dwell in the past and withdraw into defensive brooding. ISTPs sometimes use Ni to pick apart external structures, distrusting institutions that âcontrolâ people and feel the need to rebel defensively. If both are using the tertiary function defensively, it would be hard for them to connect with each other.
Te v. Fe: INFPs tend to resist external structure and controls, which is a sentiment ISTPs could share in. In a way, both tend to feel like lone wolves. ISTPs are not very aware of how to meet peopleâs emotional needs, which might seem a bit cold or neglectful to INFPs.
Both like to keep their options open and this could lead to a messy or chaotic daily life/routine.
Opportunities for Growth and Balance:
INFP: Realize that ISTPs are generally laid back and low maintenance so do not blow things out of proportion if they are inexpressive. Although it might be difficult, express your needs as clearly and as matter-of-factly as you can because ISTPs want to have a good relationship but sometimes they do not understand what you want from them. ISTP: Realize that INFPs need some outward display of kindness and acceptance or they might jump to the wrong conclusion about how much you care for them.
INFP: Give ISTP their space to explore their interests. If you can, learn about their interests and share in them if itâs okay with them. ISTP: Give INFPs space to process things but show that you are concerned for their well-being by asking if they are okay or need to talk, and respect their response. Do not follow the urge to âfixâ things for them.
Both types need to learn to communicate their needs better, especially before emotions become overwhelming. INFP: Instead of brooding, try to talk out your feelings. ISTP: Listen openly and nondefensively, without criticism. Share your thoughts or concerns about life and INFPs will feel you are building intimacy.
INFP: Listen when ISTPs try to give you advice about how to be more realistic or logical. You donât have to follow but keep an open mind because they are just trying to help you. ISTP: Keep an open mind when INFPs talk about how you could do better; they see the best version of you and hope you can live up to your potential; they are not necessarily trying to change you or control you. Also, if they feel very strongly about something, do not argue with them because you are likely messing with their deeply held values. Just validate them by saying you are trying your best to understand their position.
Both of you need to pay more attention to practical life in terms of keeping schedules, doing chores, fulfilling responsibilities, etc. Try to make life run more smoothly for each other.
Since youâre both introverted, youâll need to make a joint effort to get out more. Perhaps participate in more group activities so you can make mutual friends. Donât just hide out together all day long.
