Kay's Rants

19 y/o she/her I like aesthetically pleasing stuff and screaming about my life

[kays-rants]

I know I haven’t updated here in a long while, not that very many people see this side blog anyways, but anyways here is a quick update/rant/vlog I guess.

TW: sa, sh, eating, ed, weight loss, suicidal thoughts, generally dark themes

I think it’s getting bad again. I started dating a guy abiut a week ago, right after I was sexually assaulted at work. Just broke up with the guy. I kinda regret it but he wasn’t listening to my boundaries and kept bringing up my assault. I miss talking to him tho.

I’ve started SHing again. A lot this time. Deeper than ever too. I don’t really plan on stopping either.

I’ve lost 12 pounds in a month because I haven’t been eating. Idk if it’s my ED coming back, stress/anxiety, or because I’ve been bed rotting all day every day and skipping classes for the past few weeks.

Thankfully no suicidal thoughts. Yet anyways. But I have a feeling those are next.

And now I have no job, no boyfriend who I was comfortable talking to about anything, and no motivation to do anything.

I do have 2 close friends, but I can’t exactly tell them abiut my dark shit, so I really have nobody to talk to but the void that is tumblr. And Twitter but idk if that is the healthiest place to go tbh.

At least it’s almost summer. Although summer mess stressing about covering up sh scars so idk if that is better or worse than rn.

Sorry it’s a shit update on my life, I just needed to get it out.

[mugiwara-lucy]

Yeah I said something similar yesterday but we can NOT let what happened to Renee Good cloud what happened to everyone else at the hands of these SS Demons!!!

Because we can’t disregard one person if we’re for human rights!

[writingwithcolor]

Donate to Support for Keith’s Daughters After Tragedy, organized by Keith Porter

My 43-year-old son, Keith, was tragically killed on New Year's Eve in Northri… Keith Porter needs your support for Support for Keith’s Daugh

The above screenshot reads:

A Black man was killed by ICE (off duty) in Los Angeles on New Year's Eve. And like Renee Good, he was an American citizen. But most people have not heard about Keith Porter. I need y'all to realize this. Black people experience this lack of visibility all the time when it comes to being victims. (Christopher Webb @cwebbonline.com)

The second screenshot above reads:

Renee Nicole Good wasn't the first killed by ICE... In 2025, ICE murdered: Silverio Villegas Gonzalez Carlos Roberto Montoya Valdez Genry Ruiz Guillén Serawit Gezahagn Dejane Maksym Chernyak Juan Alexis Tineo-Martinez Brayan Garzón-Rayo Nhon Ngoc Nguyen Marie Ange Blaise Abelardo Avellaneda Delgado Jesus Molina-Veya Johnny Noviello Isidro Pérez Tien Xuan Phan Chaofeng Ge Lorenzo Antonio Batrez Vargas Oscar Rascon Duarte Norlan Guzman-Fuentes Miguel Ángel García Medina Johnny Noviello Santos Banegas Reyes Ismael Ayala-Uribe Norlan Guzman-Fuentes Miguel Ángel García Medina Huabing Xie Leo Cruz-Silva Hasan Ali Moh’D Saleh Josué Castro Rivera Gabriel Garcia Aviles Kai Yin Wong Francisco Gaspar-Andrés Pete Sumalo Montejo Shiraz Fatehali Sachwani Jean Wilson Brutus Fouad Saeed Abdulkadir Delvin Francisco Rodriguez Nenko Stanev Gantchev In 2026, ICE has murdered 2 people: Keith Porter [New years eve 2025] Renee Nicole Good -From the ICE_Raids Community on Reddit

And to all of our lovely WWC Followers, particularly those in the United States:

Take care. Take care of each other, your community, yourselves.

Travel in groups and make sure your loved ones know where you are. And absolutely know your rights.

And even in troubled times, try to find a spark of hope, creativity and comfort and hold onto it. For even joy is resistance.

Resources

Immigrant Defense Project

City of Mpls website: Know Your Rights (Minnesota)

For those who can support:

I've included the verified GoFundMe for Keith Porter's daughters.

Keith Porter's family GoFundme

~Mod Colette & WWC Team

[kays-rants]

Study Blog Update:

Hey...

So I am actually going to make a brand new blog @stvdywithkayy !!

Im going to keep this current blog as what is was before- a place i can go to rant and vent w/out anyone really caring about what i say or do lol

The new one is where I am going to continue my study with me/becoming an academic weapon stuff!!

ty <33

[kays-rants]

I HATE GOODNOTES

WHY DO I PAY 12 DOLLARS A YEAR TO HAVE AN APP THAT CRASHES AND LAGS CONSTANTLY??

[kays-rants]

Becoming an Academic Weapon- Day 4

November 30, 2025

Hey guys! Long time no see. I have honestly just not had the time (or motivation) to actually post on here at all, but I figured since Thanksgiving break is over tomorrow and finals are right around the corner, I should probably continue to lock in!!

To-Do List for today:

Study for my Anatomy and Physiology exam tmrw

Do absolutely nothing but study for my Anatomy and Physiology exam tmrw...

Seriously I have to lock in I got a 67% on the last one

Results:

I did study, even after waking up late... I did get interrupted like a million times, but it worked out in the end.

Goals for tomorrow (new area im adding to these bc i am running out of tips lol):

Wake up early to do some more review for my exam (before I leave)

Start working on organized final notes for Anatomy and Physiology (after I get home)

Study for my lab exam Friday (after I get home)

Do my hw for Anatomy and Physiology (after I get home)

Tips:

Background noise/music

Again, like I always say, some sort of background noise is super helpful! Today it seemed like I was getting distracted anyways, but changing the background music every 30 minutes or so seemed to help enough to get me through. Normally this helps me focus a lot better (im blaming it on my restless sleep bc omg it was awful last night lol)

Good Nights Rest

Honestly, if there is anything I can tell you to do the night before an exam or the night before you have plans to study a lot, sleep is genuinely the most helpful thing in the world. A good nights sleep (8-9 hours) will help with memory, confidence, and focus! Also... do you really want to be nodding off during your exam? Or while studying? Bc who is that helping?

Anyways, that's all for tonight! I didn't get a whole lot done today, but I did what I could, and I'm saying that's enough lol!

Happy studying <3

[kays-rants]

Ok guys day 3 of becoming an academic weapon is in fact going to be not aesthetic... also no tips or anything.

I am genuinely so sick just standing makes me want to pass out :/

But hey I finished my Psych Exam (and got a 90%), as well as finished up my Lab work and my English Essay!

Today was actually productive given the fact I could barely stay awake!

[kays-rants]

Becoming an Academic Weapon- Day 2

November 20, 2025

I haven't updated since my last post because I got pretty sick (and ngl still am...)

BUT, I am starting to feel a little better so I have to start catching up on my work!!

To-Do List for today:

My Health Information Management Exam 3

Anatomy and Physiology Quiz

HIM Video Activity

Acronyms and Abbreviations Document for HIM

I also want to spend tonight studying for my Psychology exam and my Anatomy and Physiology exam!

Results:

I finished everything today! I did sleep in (until 10 AM...) because I didn't have to go to class today... and I woke up at 7 AM and decided that an early morning was NOT happening today😭

With that in mind, I finished everything by 3 PM today !! It didn't take as long as I thought it would, but I still have to study tonight (update: didn't happen...)

Tips:

Background Noise

During more of my "boring" assignments (like the acronyms and abbreviations thing where I pretty much just had to fill in what the acronyms stood for: like WHO = world health organization) I would watch youtube videos and listen to podcasts in the background. Something that I don't have to watch, yk?

For example, I watched a few Nexpo videos on youtube, but literally anything you don't have to physically watch will work!

Also, this only really works if you can focus with stuff in the background! Music also works for this!

Energy

If you are lacking in energy (like I am) and just want to lay in bed and relax instead of doing your work, I find that coffee and energy drinks are a great combo. I know, shocking that something made to give you energy actually works!

But also taking a 30 minute nap right after you drink whatever energy drink or coffee thing you choose makes you 10x more energized idk why but it just does!

Certain teas can also give you energy if you aren't a coffee/energy drink fan!! Also certain types of food can do that too!

Mentality

You have to have the right mentality when trying to do better in school, no matter what grade you are in/your age!

Don't get discouraged if you get a bad/low grade, use that to push you.

Walk into every exam thinking that no matter what happens, you will do your best and that is enough.

It is proven that optimists have lower rates of depression and anxiety, have higher grades, and socialize better. People with self confidence are proven to succeed more in their lives than people without it.

Genuinely, next exam you have walk in there thinking "I studied. I know the material. Even if I don't know some of the questions, I will know enough to get the grade I want." See how that mindset can help you!

(Obviously you still have to study and work for higher grades, but you will be more apt to get the grades you want if you believe you can get them, yk?)

[kays-rants]

Becoming an Academic Weapon- Day 1

November 18, 2025

Feel free to skip the intro if you just want to see tips for being an "academic weapon" or how it went today!!

I am sick and tired of dreading exams and worrying about my grades, so I am decided it is time to become the best version of myself!

Yes, it is about 4 weeks from finals.... but I think if I really work for it, I can end the semester with all A's (maybe).

So, I am going to do a daily recap (?) of what my goals are for the day and what I actually did, as well as tips for anyone who is also trying to become an "academic weapon" right before finals (or ever tbh)!

I also want to preface that this will be completely without the use of AI (like chatGPT, TurboAI, etc) because you don't need AI to be smart <3

ANYWAYS.... here is my plan for today !

I want to finish an Exam study guide for my Psychology class (over chapters 9, 10, and 11).

I want to finish Interview Questions for my English class assignment.

I want to study for my Anatomy and Physiology Exam (right after thanksgiving break).

This might not seem like much right now... but tbh I am already done with everything for the day (mentally) and want to scroll on my phone... which is why I have been getting straight Cs in my A&P class lately...

Results:

My English Interview Questions are done! I have to do my interview tomorrow so thankfully they are finished and ready to be asked!

I finished my study guide for Chapter 9, only 10 and 11 to go (will probably do tomorrow and Thursday, leaving Friday and Saturday for studying!)

I studied for my exam, but only for like fifteen minutes before I gave up so idk if that counts lol.

Tips:

Music!

If you like to listen to music, I think changing the music that you are listening to every time you start getting distracted really helps you stay focused! For example, I alternated between listening to Xdinary Heroes, this playlist, the Interstellar soundtrack, and this youtube video!

Breaks!

Take breaks, but not unless you feel really bored or are unable to focus. And don't take too long of breaks (and don't take phone breaks... aka doomscrolling breaks. Minutes turn into hours real fast). Whenever I wanted to take a break, I had to do something I needed to do, rather than "wanted" to do. For example, I would take my dog for a walk, wash dishes, do laundry, etc. instead of scrolling on my phone or watching youtube or something! It really helped!

Eating!

Make sure you eat before you study, not during/after because I promise you will get distracted (either because you are eating and not working or wanting to eat).

That's all for today!! Hope any of this helped, and be sure to let me know anything that has helped you!!

[kays-rants]

Hoping and praying that I picked up enough over the past few weeks to pass this exam tomorrow🙏🙏

[kays-rants]

Apparently memorizing all the bones in the human in one day is very difficult…

Who woulda thought?

[kays-rants]

Writing notes while listening to music is pointless😭

I am sitting here jamming to Crayon (G-Dragon) while staring at my very empty notebook page

[kays-rants]

Chat I fear I am stuck in 87% jail. NO MATTER HOW GOOD I DO ON THE QUIZZES AND TESTS I AM STUCK AT 87% HELPPP

Yes, this is about Anatomy and Physiology.

Yes, I do think I, in fact, failed my last exam. ( probably got a 75% but that is like failing to me idk)

[kays-rants]

You know… maybe there is a reason my professor gave me 2 weeks to finish this research paper…

[kays-rants]

What I’ve learned after 1 week of college:

1. Everything is due constantly

2. You will understand nothing for about half the week, kind of grasp the concepts, then take a 20 minute quiz (which you will either luck your way through or bomb)

3. Stairs suck

4. You will make friends in your classes, kind of, and will have study group chats that annoy the hell out of you but are also kinda useful

5. DONT DROP OUT (I thought about it)

HM: Get ur books before classes start or you will be embarrassed trust me

Overall, wasn’t that bad, everything happening all at once sucked tho.

[thememedaddy]

[kays-rants]

This is me because why did I go multiple days last week without eating until 6pm (which I ate like, half a bowl of ramen noodles or wtv) and then today I couldn’t stop snacking?

[kays-rants]

OMG WHY DO KIDS HAVE TIKTOK?!

I just saw this video of a 4th grader (aka a 9-10 year old) who posted a video of her threatening her bullies WITH A RAZIR BLADE showing what she was “going to do to them”…

She also showed her school name, AND THE FULL NAMES OF THE KIDS SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT?!

I reported the account AND video, but genuinely what do I do? Do I report this to her school? To I reach out to her and say “hey maybe don’t do this”???

I feel like I have to do more than report the video given she quite literally said “this is what I’m going to do to them if they don’t quit bullying me” and then showed her cutting paper up with a blade.

My jaw is to the floor and idk what to do about this help

[kays-rants]

Does anyone have any tips on how to stop getting burned out with hobbies?

I have actually found two hobbies I genuinely like (animating and writing), but whenever I do them I get burned out so quickly.

I have always done different hobbies because I want to be "good" at something, or because I can post it/show people and it impresses them, but it is different with animation and writing. I genuinely have so much fun doing it, and it doesn't feel like a "chore" when working on them.

I just keep getting super burned out super fast, and then it feels like I can't do them anymore, which sucks bc then I don't really have anything else I like to do which forces me to doomscroll all day.

For example, I will write like 3-4 times a week, and then not touch it for 1-2 months because I just can't bring myself to do it. It is the same with animating (I will get half way through a project and then abandon it).

These things calm me down so much as a very anxious person, and genuinely bring me joy (which I feel like everybody needs a little bit of in their life), so I just want to know how to stop from getting burned out so quick!

Thanks for the tips/advice :)