Kazard

I'm just a dork, hanging out on tumblr. He/Him 32yo

[oswednesday]

discord has turned people into wild animals

[oswednesday]

[gallusrostromegalus]

I've been browsing carnivorous plant websites and I need everyone to see my new favorite "X for Scale" image:

PUT BABY IN NEPENTHES PITCHER.

Source

[smokeydabear420422]

[northerlyfilms]

15 years of aeiou

july 17 2010

[digitaldiscipline]

This is the 85 year old creator of Roger Rabbit:

[orcboxer]

Have you seen the new show? It's on Tubu. It's literally on Heebee. It's on Poodee with ads. It's literally on Dippy. You can probably find it on Weeno. Dude it's on Gumpy. It's a Pheebo original. It's on Poob. You can watch it on Poob. You can go to Poob and watch it. Log onto Poob right now. Go to Poob. Dive into Poob. You can Poob it. It's on Poob. Poob has it for you. Poob has it for you.

[totallynotgayforyou]

[orcboxer]

Poob has it for you.

[clovrplayz]

fun fact one of my friends has a cat named poob because of this post

[orcboxer]

oh my god a poobling

[melgillman]

Here’s the new 24 hour comic I drew this year!  This one is called THE KING’S FOREST.  cw: blood, violence

[rayj4ck]

How the fuck did you make that last panel say so many things without using any words at all that’s so fucking cool.

[lordofseagulls]

Lil Nas X should not be allowed to be this funny

[csny]

this is sort of sickening to me. can they swap

[raccoonmilf]

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

[raccoonmilf]

For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called “Princess Time” where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and I’d quickly clean that stuff up.

So like, if I’m expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed “trash” by the trash panda and thrown away.

[raccoonmilf]

We haven’t done since we moved into the house, because I didn’t want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon

[raccoonmilf]

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.

[raccoonmilf]

Those vibes are likely because I’m the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao

[fipindustries]

[frankiecorleone]

Dies and comes back right

[frankiecorleone]

#When only death could have possibly fixed you

[teratocybernetics]

#have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[atompalace-official]

wash him he smely

[atompalace-official]

here’s how the other Eeveelutions react to bathtime 🛁🫧

[inkie-heart]

stuck baby

[eggthew]

I am choosing to have hope

[monkeyislandtwo]

fonts will be named shit like viscera antique, 16 bit dreams, doctor's orders, bingo condensed, googly, wish you were here

[equos-bipes]

for your consideration

[bedupolker]

politicians will name their proposals "the act to defend freedom and justice by the honesty coalition of friendship" and the contents will be a comprehensive plan on how the state should spike the tap water with giardia and start guillotining elderly golden retrievers in public