Word Play

Your mother plays card games in Hell, Fuck off.

[kelel45]

Tip of the day: Never accept food from old ladies in the forest.

[kelel45]

Freddie Mercury is the greatest vocalist of all time.

[kelel45]

Ok so I was gone for a hella long time, come back, and I actually gained followers. Living the dream.

[kelel45]

So who wants to tell me what's wrong with me?

[kelel45]

You know that whole movie relationship where you find someone, fall in love, and live pretty happily? Yeah that's not a thing.

[kelel45]

Anyone else ever feel kind of taken advantage of?

[kelel45]

You know what the problem about being picky with women is? I'm not good looking enough to be picky.

[kelel45]

So I'm sitting here alone on New Year's Eve. Great. Aren't parties of one the best?

[kelel45]

Look Christians, we get it, Christmas for you guys is supposed to be about Jesus, but maybe I'm just in it for the jolly fat guy and the happiness it seems to bring everyone. Is that so wrong?

[kelel45]

So it's Christmas Eve, everyone know what that means? Time to wake up in the morning and pretend to be all excited for the shitty gifts you get! Yay!

[kelel45]

Ok so this is a post out there for people with significant others or even just crushes. If (and this is hypothetical for people with just crushes) you were hanging out with that special someone, just sitting on a couch all day, would you consider that wasting your life away or would it still be special?

[kelel45]

If that chick was real, I would bang her... ridiculously.

[kelel45]

Quote of the day: "Are we talking about elephant penis?"

[kelel45]

I remember being 14 too.

Do you? What was that, fifty years ago? Congrats on making it so long.

[kelel45]

Chicken sandwiches for the win. Loving being able to eat meat? Suck it vegans and vegetarians.

[kelel45]

Women who would use me and toss me like trash? Sign me up!

[kelel45]

You may fight like a man, but you're getting owned like a bitch.