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tannertan36
Not today Justin
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@kemmer
Dont blame yourself for not having known a lesson only time could teach
Yu Ya-lan (b.1987) - Rainbow River. 2019. Woodcut.
enemies-to-lovers is about power, actually
I think a lot of people misunderstand why enemies to lovers is so popular. Itâs quickly become one of the most pervasive tropes in many novels. Is it the banter, the tension? Thatâs definitely part of it. But if that were true, then friends-to-lovers and literally any romance with good dialogue and characterization would scratch the same itch. For some, it does, but for manyâŠenemies-to-lovers just hits different.Â
My theory is that it isnât actually about love, not really. I think it fulfils a fantasy that no other trope can provide: the fantasy of being seen as an equal.Â
Think about what specifically makes someone an enemy in fiction. Itâs not just someone the MC dislikes, itâs someone who can affect them in tangible ways, maybe even have the power to ruin them, challenge their worldview, expose their weaknesses, etc. The relationship begins with conflict because the characters are fundamentally opposed in some way. It doesnât matter why, but theyâre fighting. There is a struggle for dominance.Â
I would argue that the most impactful enemies-to-lovers moments are never the romantic moments, theyâre the scenes where power shifts. They BOTH lose: theyâre forced into a position that would have horrified them at the beginning of the story. They end up needing (or wanting) each other.Â
Thatâs why I think people are often disappointed when a supposed enemies-to-lovers story turns out to be a milquetoast attempt where theyâre just kinda mean to each other for a few pages, and then immediately start making out. Whereâs the risk, the actual threat? If the characters arenât capable of genuinely affecting one another, then the relationship isnât actually transforming in a satisfying way. The appeal is in the fact that they have power over each other, because the eventual trust they build requires real surrender.
Because hereâs the thing about enemies; they pay attention, and usually more attention than anyone else. They notice weaknesses because theyâre actively looking for them, they notice strengths because they need to account for them. They notice habits, blind spots, ambitions, fears.Â
They study the MC with a level of scrutiny that borders (and later crosses) intimate, but unlike friends (or supporting characters in the MCâs corner) theyâre not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, they donât overlook flaws out of affection. Which is exactly what makes the eventual romance so satisfying. It feels earned.Â
Itâs easy to imagine being loved by someone who sees the best version of you, but itâs an entirely different thing to be loved by someone who has seen you at your worst. Thatâs why this dynamic often feels more convincing than romances where the characters are immediately into each other.
I imagine there are many who go through life feeling misunderstood, or worse, that the people who love them only love the polished, perfect version they present to the world, almost like impostor syndrome. But what if there was someone who couldnât be fooled by this carefully constructed image?Â
When someone more powerful chooses someone, maybe the fantasy is protection. When itâs someone less powerful, the fantasy might be admiration. But if thereâs someone intelligent and observant enough to see the MC as an equal, the fantasy there is the most intense and honest validation.Â
Which means enemies to lovers was never about turning hate/annoyance into love, it was about turning power into vulnerability â which is a terrifying loss of power, which THEN leads to intimacy.Â
i agree so much about making your blorbos pathetic but i do fear that many take this to mean 'make them more traditionally feminine/submissive' which genuinely hurts my soul. make your blorbos pathetic in interesting character-oriented ways. understand their neuroses and turn the dials up to eleven. juxtapose the parts of life they handle extremely well with the parts of their lives that make them eat shit. make them angry. make them cold. make them pave their own way to hell while building walls preventing them from seeing any other way. please i'm begging you no more pathetic as an euphemism for bottoming im gonna mclose it.
you want me so bad it makes you look Intelligent and good taste
Emanuel A. Petersen (Danish 1894-1948), View of Greenland Fjord Lit Up by the Midsummer Sun, 1936, Oil on canvas
(by norrisniman)
Fascinated by everyone's but especially American's desire to give medieval keeps, especially in colder regions, central heating (and I think Winterfell is to blame for this trope, where, to it's defence, the hot springs were not a matter of comfort but survival wrt the deadly fantasy Winter that's not real irl), because I'm always like. okay I know they told you in middle grade that castles were all cold and drafty but like ... no also what
There's generally going to be rooms dedicated to and build for warmth, the living quarters, both for nobles and their servants. This will be the central living tower, or parts of it called a Kemenate (literally 'room with a stove'), the great hall and work spaces around the kitchen. You can put the Kemenate on top of the hall to catch the big fires' and daily living's heat through the wooden floor, but you often can't put wooden stuff on top of the kitchens (that's a fire risk). If you have the money and space, you build a whole separate comfy place for living because you don't have to stay in the most defensible part of the castle all the time. These separate living buildings are also called Kemenate and are often build from wood, cob, brick etc.
People used to wear much more clothes indoors, including while sleeping, and those clothes were much thicker and sturdier than what we largely wear today. Every time you think of how cold those stone walls are, think about everyone wearing a linen shift + two-ish layers of wool on all body parts except hands and head + stockings and shoes + some kind of head-covering. In Ye Old Middle Ages, women are probably wearing a wimple, which is kind of like a modern Hijab in terms of coverage. People wear shifts, socks, and a head-covering to bed.
I think people used to radiators also really underestimate how much a large open fire/tiled stove heats up a room. Also, middle and northern Europe (as well as parts of Northern China) had and to this day have beds and benches build into tiled and cob stoves. Those fuck.
Beds are enclosed so you stay warm in them, either by curtains, in wall niches or with wood. There's also a type of bed that's inside a chest (like a coffin) so you can stuff your stuff inside during the day and put down the lid to use it as a bench. That's also another reason for people to always sleep in groups. Depending on the era, one of the jobs of a lady's maid or a retainer might literally be warming their master's bed. In early times and among servants, people also sleep in large groups in rooms together in general even outside a farming context, often with animals like pet dogs, too, which further warms everything up.
Walls are not bare, cold stone, but covered with a layer of plaster or cob, tiles or wooden panels, sometimes layered, and believe me, this makes such a difference. Source: I lived in a Ye Olde German Farmhouse with 70 cm thick stone walls and flag stone floor and all that converted to modern flats for a while.
On top of that you hang tapestries on the wall, which are not like modern printed cloth but basically wall rugs, sometimes several inches thick, and rugs or rushes (like a light cover of hay) on the floor on top of stone, tile, wooden panelling or a cob floor cover that goes over the heave flag stone. Pillows and blankets on all sitting surfaces, often on top of panelling (in the case of benches build into the stone). The roof of a room is also tiled, panelled or plastered. Upper stories will generally have wooden floors. Stories in a tower heat each other upwards, so the nicer rooms are further up.
The inner stone walls of a castle, even if stone and very thick, will heat up a few degrees in comparison to the outside walls if the castle is continually heated/lived in, and also trap heat inside, and this will make a difference. Inner walls might also be thinner and made of wood, cob or brick. You're defending against the outside, after all.
You put stuff in the windows. Holy shit. Screens of wood, horn, cloth or leather/hide, often treated for extra insulation. Why are these fantasy castles all so drafty.
Like, idk, I know Americans especially can't pop down to their nearby castle museum to have a look around, but even with people who can and do: The castles you'll see, even the ones who aren't 'ruined' are ruins. They're stripped down. I remember touring Norman towers in England, and those places do look dire and are cold because even if they're still standing, they're ruins. It makes such a difference to get to look at a castle that is still lived in, has been inhabited until recently, or has been historically restored where these amenities are preserved. The exact amenities will depend on the era, of course, but they'll be there. The publicly accessible parts of Burg Eltz are a great example to google, especially since I promise you, you have seen this specific castle before. They have pictures on their English language website here, and the German National Geographic has a few further inside pictures here. Seeing a place like that that isn't a ruin with bare, stripped walls, nothing in the windows, no decorations and furniture etc. makes you realise that yeah actually. My characters are probably just gonna go grab a pillow if their ass is cold on the window's stone bench. Blankets are a pretty old technology, humans (elves, dwarves, whatever) can figure that one out.
Oh these links are a FANTASTIC reference!
Remember the painting of Ivan the Terrible cradling his dying son?
Yes, yes, unequalled representation of unspeakable grief and guilt and horror, that's not important right now. Look at how heavily carpeted everything is -- multiple layers of carpets! -- and how heavily dressed they are.
Also in that painting, the object in the background looks like a ceramic/tile stove or heater. They were found all over Europe and are still used in some places (having experienced one in Hungary in -16c weather, they are amazing). They're like a descendant of hypocausts, where hot air was directed to warm specific areas of building.
The fuel was burned slowly and brick and tile structure acted like a giant radiator, staying warm for extended periods.
The real discourse in The Left Hand of Darkness is what you think the clothes look like. Do hiebs have sleeves? Do they look like tabards? When Genly and Estraven talk about leggings in Orgoreyn, are they like ye olde hose but made to keep snow out of your pants and boots? Are they a kind of overpant? I need someone to start a fistfight over what a knitfur is. I think it would be cool and sexy.
to be clear, i love the âdark, slow running carsâ and the winter jackets and the centuries old radios inlayed with silver and the corner red dwelling and all the things described in ways you accept but know, in the back of your mind, are probably Not At All what you would imagine them to beâwhen does a car stop being a car, when is an electric flute at the edge of its descriptionâGenly Ai describes his star ship and we know itâs a rocket of some sort of design and make, but imagine what you would imagine by just that descriptorâstar shipâif you didnât have any basis for thinking about rockets. And isnât that what weâre doing while reading this book too? In their lack of specificity, the descriptions gain so much more life, and I adore that.
but i also want to hear some screaming over whether the âknitâ and âfurâ in âknitfurâ are false friends or accurate descriptors, and how long shirts are worn, and whether they function also as underwear or not.
I think about this a *normal* amount of time. I have a whole Pinterest board with clothes similar to what I imagine them to be....
At some point Genly says that someone (himself?) was wearing a winter hieb with long sleeves so I imagined they have summer ones with short sleeves. And I think the hieb is like a medieval tunic that goes down to mid tights, in some sort of fleece or corduroy fabric, and the winter one is layered with fur inside. This is the piece of clothing I have clearer in my mind. Except I can't figure out where the pocket is.
Maybe knitfur is some kind of mohair? All fluffy and super soft and light? I dunno I just placed my part of the fight. So hope someone disagrees with me for op's sake.
And I can't for the love of me imagine the difference between Karhidish breeches and Orgoreyn leggins. I think breeches are more baggy while leggins are more tight all the way down...?
Okay, then shirts. Are shirts open in front with a lot of buttons? Or are they pulled on from above your head? And yes, I think they must have some sort of tee-shirt under shirts, but then sometimes Estraven wears only a shirt... Shirts confuse me, I never know how to draw them. Usually I imagine them a thick cotton fabric, they are pulled on like a t-shirt but also the collar opens a bit, and the collar is "korean style".
One problem: what goes between the shirt and the hieb? I imagine in summer nothing. In winter maybe a knitted sweater of some kind. What does it look like? Is this the knitfur piece, light and super warm or is it a heavy knitted piece? I think in the tent Genly keeps his on and Estraven takes it off and stays only with his shirt.
Second problem: what does the coat look like? I cannot imagine the coat. Is it longer or shorter than the hieb? Does it look like leather or does it look like a technical quilted jacket? They probably have both... What did they wear in Karhide? And on the ice?
Third problem: what kind of shoes do they wear? What kind of boots?
!!!! <3<3<3<3 ! ! ! Re: coats, who wants to throw their hat in the ring about fish leather? We know pesthry furs are a Thing, but does anyone wanna take a stab at fish leather?
Yes! I thought about it (what is wrong with me?). That and snake leather: we know they don't have mammals but Pesthry are reptilian so maybe there are other reptilians to get leather from. But yes I prefer the fish hypothesis.
Also Genly speaks about synthetic fabric...
After chatting in the replies I retract my claim that the pesthry are mammalsâwhile they are furred, they definitely lay eggs, and most likely donât lactate. NusuthâI had forgotten about the russy until you brought up reptiles! It sounds like they are small, but so are the pesthry, and almost everything is covered in the skins of those fuckers, so why not russy skins also? If theyâre scaled, I imagine they might be good in boot making, or for summer gloves/mittens.Â
Since we are given that the sea life getsâŠbigger than any terrestrial fauna, I do wonder if fish leather could also explain what summer hiebs might be made out of: waterproof over layer to keep the rain out. (Course, then it would suck ass for any layering outside of summer, soâŠ.maybe not)
old vers of the post under the cut:
worry about it kitten daddy fucked up
Iâm bored of bdsm dynamics. it feels like it makes up the bulk of internet horny. blowjobs are sexy because theyâre degrading, anal is sexy because itâs degrading. feet are sexy because worshipping them is humiliating. whatever.
itâs overplayed. feet are sexy because theyâre tender and sensitive, yet hidden and neglected. a few minutes of loving massage can make your loverâs feet feel incredible, and theyâre ticklish too. thatâs sexy, donât you see? anal is sexy because it feels really good and leaves the bottomâs genitals free. blowjobs are sexy because you can take someoneâs most sensitive place into your mouth and swallow a part of them.
We can only milk taboo and submission for content so long before it gets to be alienating. are we still playing with power dynamics or can we feel each otherâs bodies?
Thereâs no physical touch over the internet. Thereâs no falling asleep in each otherâs arms. Thereâs no language of lovers built through repeated intimacy and trust. No smell of your loverâs hair.
Internet horny is an impoverished world of audio, visual, and text. You can only sustain a libido on audiovisual data alone for so long before it gets stale, so it makes sense that the text would get freaky⊠Iâm not shaming it, Iâm just bored of it. Look at my perfect nudes, hear my perfect moans, imagine having power over me, ad infinitum. Iâd rather make love to a flawed human animal than dominate an idealized projection of one.
Here's an idea based on me totally misremembering the vibe for that scene where: "The first real snow," he said, and seeing my glance at the heavily curtained window, "You haven't looked out yet?"
Hi guys just got out of kemmer can anyone fill me up on the past five days of news?
Over destiel?
man, year zero has been a WEIRD one
have become completely enamored with earthsea recently and just finished tombs of atuan so heres a little thing of tenar and ged
There's rpf tinhatting and then there's "realistically, they've jerked off together at least once." It's different yk