Mira makes a sound like a deflating balloon and Zoey whirls around so quickly that she loses her balance and accidentally smacks this other Celine, and then theyâre both looking at Rumi.
Looking at her, because they know.
Which. Okay. Rumi said it so thatâ So that someone would know, even if this Celine isnât the same Celine who looked at her, or didnât look at her, and took the sword Rumi held out to her, andâ
âAsked her to what?â Zoeyâs eyes are huge and wet.
"Don't let it trick you, Zoey, it's just--"
"If you don't shut the fuck up, I will gag you," Zoey spits out, furious and verging on hysterical. "Rumi, what do you mean, you asked?"
Rumi's shoulders have risen, unbidden, all the way up to her ears. She tries to shrug, because that feels like the kind of thing that someone unbothered would have, but instead the movement feels all tight and jerky and her body folds in on itself.
She's calm and in control. So. She straightens up. âIâll get the first aid kit.â
âDonâtââ Mira starts to say but then she breaks off as her nose makes this wet, crunching noise that sounds like it hurts.
(For Rumi. Because of Rumi. Because there was a Celine who looked at her Rumi and saw the patterns and did what Hunters were supposed to do.)
(Rumi. After a moment. Remembers to breathe.)
By the time she gets back, Zoey and Mira have dragged the other Celine into the pantry and are standing in the kitchen, staring at the door like they're scared she's going to break out and do something.
They are scared, Rumi realises. They're scared of this Celine.
She kind of wants to laugh. She kind of wants to cry. She kind of wants to go to this other Celine and tell her everything's going to be okay, which is - okay, probably not what someone coping well would think, Rumi knows that much, but--
Rumi understands, is the thing.
It's fine. This Celine is just. Fine. Not evil or crazy or whatever. Someone gave her a thing that looked like a baby except it had demon patterns, and so she'd fixed the problem the way Hunters were supposed to fix that kind of problem, and that had been that. It makes sense.
Rumi's hands are shaking. The room starts to sway. Adrenaline crash, the part of her brain that's still vaguely aware of her own body tells her, and Zoey's hands are guiding her to sit down and focus on the breathing techniques Celine drilled into them when they were teens. Other Celine cries out, begging Mira to get Zoey away from Rumi, and they all ignore her.
(Celine doesn't say 'Rumi'.)
(Maybe that's better. A version of herself so young she didn't even have a name yet. This Celine would have seen the patterns and realised what she had to do, and never needed to doubt her decision.)
Infuriatingly enough, the stupid nostril breathing thing that they have happily made fun of for years actually works, and by the time Rumi feels like herself Zoey's already finished tending to Mira.
"We can't keep her tied up forever."
"The fuck we can't," Mira snaps back. Or tries to, anyway; her voice comes out all stuffy and nasal and partly muffled by the ice pack she's holding to her face.
"Call it a citizen's arrest for beating the crap out of Mira--" Zoey begins. Mira makes a disgruntled noise but doesn't object. "-- But Mean Celine is staying right there until we can kick her ass home. She tried to kill you and newsflash, Rumi, we're not okay with that!"
As gently as she can, which isnât very gently at all right now, Rumi says, "I am."
"I have to be," Rumi says. Her voice hitches, which isn't fair, because she's okay with this. She's okay with knowing that there is a version of Celine who killed her Rumi as a baby and another Celine who calls her Rumi her daughter, and Rumi's own Celine, lost in some other world, who didn't love her but couldn't kill her. Who did everything to protect the Honmoon right up until the moment it most needed protecting, and then hadn't done anything at all.
As they follow after New Celine, Zoey grabs hold of Mira's hand and Mira tangles their fingers together and squeezes tight. It's the kind of thing they've done billions of times already, but it hits differently now.
Now she knows, doesn't she? Mira is it, for Zoey. All she's ever going to get. And Zoey has to try and be everything for Mira, too, because they're never going to find the third part of their harmony.
Zoey's inner soundtrack makes a giant comedy record scratch sound effect at that thought.
They had found their third, hadn't they? Sort of. They knew where their third was the whole time they'd known each other, at least, even if they hadn't known that was who Rumi was, or that she was even enough of a person to be Rumi and not the demon in the first place. She was never lost, not the way she is now, and she wasn't doing any kind of 'Someday my prince will come, if by prince you mean two teenage idols with magic weapons' montage.
Mira must feel the shudder Zoey's trying to suppress, because she squeezes their hands together again, so tight that it starts to hurt. The pain helps - it's grounding, somehow, drawing Zoey's attention away from her inner monologue and back to her body, and she bumps her shoulder against Mira's arm in a silent thank you.
"How bad was the fight?" Mira says, as soon as they're out of earshot.
"We were lucky," New Celine answers, and it doesn't look like she's avoiding their eyes exactly but she also isn't meeting them. "Not very many."
New Celine does something with her face, and her tone gets sharper in a way that would have had Mira and Zoey apologising and preparing to run extra laps if this Celine was still their teacher. "It's been more than twenty years since Iâve even seen a demon. Forgive me if I'm a little rusty."
But this Celine isn't theirs, and as soon as she sees the way Zoey's shoulders scrunch at the sound of her disapproval, she closes her eyes and holds her hand to her mouth like she thinks she might be about to throw up.
"... Um, should we get you some water, orâ?"
"No," Celine says. Her voice is distant, and she keeps her eyes closed, but she does at least drop her hand. "No, I'm sorry, girls, I shouldnât have spoken to you like that.â
Like what? Zoey wonders, and she knows from the answering crease in Miraâs brow that this is something the two of them will save to rehash later.
âItâs fine!â she says, brightly. Mira doesnât answer but she does give New Celine one of her disaffected one-shoulder shrugs that look cool and elegant when Mira does them and vaguely twitchy when Zoey tries to copy her. Theyâre both meant to convey the same thing, she thinks.
âChange of plans, I think,â she tells them both, and leads them back towards the exit. A few of the employees they pass bow in greeting but New Celine either doesnât see them or doesnât care if they think sheâs rude since Real Celine will be the one living with the consequences. Mira and Zoey donât have that luxury and have to scramble to catch up with New Celineâs long strides.
âWhat - oof - What kind of change, ssaem?â
âWeapons practice?â Mira asks, not quietly enough for the receptionist to not turn to stare at them.
âFor self-defence!â Zoey hurries to add. Itâs the lie that the Real Celine has used on occasion too, and the receptionist reacts the way people always do, that look of understanding and sudden sympathy as they remember what happened to the other Sunlight Sisters.
The memory makes Zoeyâs stomach clench. None of those people know anything about Rumi, about the kennel. If they didâ
(Zoey had known, and sheâd stillâ)
âNo weapons,â New Celine tells them. âActually I was planning on taking you to open new bank accountsââ
New bank accounts? Zoey mouths to Mira, who pulls the face that means Zoeyâs missed something that Mira will have to explain later.Â
âWe can do that any time, we need to learn how to fight.â
New Celine doesnât even raise an eyebrow at Miraâs impatience. Maybe thatâs a good thing, Zoey doesnât know, but New Celine has been doing this thing where she doesnât quite look at them, doesnât quite look away either, and the lack of reaction is starting to make Zoeyâs stomach twist.Â
âWhy do you need to know how to fight?â
âUh, because of all the demons?â
âJust the bad ones!â Zoey yelps. âJust the bad ones, not any nice demons!â
Zoey doesnât need an explainer for the look on New Celineâs face at that. For a moment, New Celine looks almost exactly like their own, the nights when she would leave them alone in the hanok while she went to pay respects at the graveyard, and Zoey and Mira would stay up late watching movies and promising that they would never leave each other or their third partner all alone. And Rumi had beenâ Chained up. Outside in the kennel, probably. Zoey canât even be sure of that in her own memories, because if she hadnât been specifically told to supervise the demon then it had been easier to ignore it.
âGuess againâ is all New Celine says to that.
The change of plans is, apparently, bringing them to a nearby park. Itâs busier than Zoey would have guessed, since itâs the middle of the working day, but there are a lot of moms and their little kids, and for a second Zoey thinks about joking with Mira about what the mom collective must be thinking about them, but right before she puts the biggest, stinkiest foot in her mouth to ever be put, she remembersâ
This Celine is Rumiâs mom.
She pokes at that thought a bit more, and it feels like prodding a bruise. Rumiâs mom made us dinner. Rumiâs mom is going to help us move into the trainee dorms. Rumiâs mom brought us to the park, even though she knows what we did to her daughter.
Celine sits directly on the grass. Zoey follows immediately, dropping into the familiar posture, back straight, eyes closed, hands folded â she can do this, she can be good enough, she can learn from Rumiâs mom and take it seriously and not ruin everything. She can.
They wait, perfectly quiet, for Celine to tell them if thereâs something specific she wants them to meditate on or if she just wants them to strengthen their connection to the Honmoon. And then they keep waiting, and wait some more, and Zoey tries to empty her mind as best she can but itâs hard when her head is superimposing Rumiâs mom, Rumiâs mom, this is Rumiâs mom over every memory she has of Rumi.
Eventually, she cracks open one eyelid and sees that Celine isnât paying any attention to them at all. Zoey isnât sure if sheâs just lost in thought or genuinely people-watching, but after a moment, Celine (Rumiâs mom, her brain supplies, unhelpfully) notices Zoeyâs eyes on her and gives her a very small, very sad smile.
âYou girls arenât too tired?â
Mira just blinks at her. âFor sitting in a park? I think we can cope.â
âUm, why did you bring us here, anyway? Is it special to the Honmoon or something?â
âNot to my knowledge.â New Celine, as she has done all day, doesnât quite look at them when she answers. âDo you see the people down there?â
Zoey shifts to get a better look. There are some toddlers chasing each other around the climbing frame, a mom pushing her daughter on the swings. A few more kids crouched down to poke at something in the grass, and someoneâs mom yelling at them to leave whatever it is alone. Further away from the play equipment, spreading out along the same slope that theyâre sitting on now, there are clusters of students chatting and eating snacks. An elderly couple in full hiking gear are making their way along the hiking trail.
If thereâs something weird about them, Zoey canât see it. They look just like people. Normal people.
âI⊠think so?â Zoey tries.
Mira, who complained that her glasses didnât match the girl crush aesthetic she was going for, says nothing.Â
âHunters are supposed to come in threes, for balance, and that hasnât been the case in your world for a long time. Youâre about to inherit a Honmoon thatâs already very badly damaged, and you wonât be able to repair it withoutâ As a duo.â
The without, from Rumiâs mom, rings in Zoeyâs ears, and her stomach feels all knotted, so Zoey scrambles for the right thing to say.
âWe know!â Is her smile too big? She means for it to be reassuring, like she understands the responsibility sheâs taking on, but Celine and Mira donât smile back. âI mean, we know itâs going to be tough, but weâve got each other, right?â
âDuh,â Mira says, and Zoey feels her grin get less stiff.
(She knows, yeah. Itâs still nice to hear.)
But New Celine hasnât quite finished yet. She looks down at the little babies playing in the sun, the couples lying on the grass, the old man holding hands with his wife, and says, âA lot of people are going to die.â
Zoey feels herself jerk backwards at that, like New Celineâs just punched her right in the solar plexus. For a second, it feels like all the blood in her body rushes to her face, and sheâs left reeling, trying to find steady ground beneath her.
âMost of them will be strangers,â New Celine is continuing, her voice sounding very far away. âTo everyone else, theyâll just disappear. Youâll hear about them on the news, see their families pleading for information, and youâll have to live with the knowledge that you didnât save them, and get up the next day and do it all over again.â
Zoey shakes her head, which means nothing. Shakes to shake, to stop her hands from shaking, she doesnât know. Mira clutches Zoeyâs arm and Zoey clings back to her as well, and they both just sit there, holding one another in the middle of the park.
âWhy are you telling us this?â
For maybe the first time all day, Celine meets her eyes properly and Zoey can see how red they are.
Rumiâs mom, youâre looking at Rumiâs momâ
âYou need to be prepared,â Celine tells them. âWhen everything goes wrong. When it all seems hopeless. When Gwi-Ma talks to you both, tells you that you should just give in, that what happened to your Rumi is causing this. You need to knowâŠâ
She trails off, and Zoey feels her attention slide right past the two of them, down towards the little kids playing in the dirt. A little girl in a puffy pink coat is holding something up to show her mom - a stone, maybe, or a leaf. Zoey used to have a little jewellery box she filled with cool rocks and shells she found. She hasnât thought about that in years.
âYou need to believe there are things in this world worth fighting for,â New Celine eventually settles on.
The Hunters freeze at Rumiâs shout and so does Ms.Kang, shoving the curly-haired Hunter away from her. Away from the demon.
âI have DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOURS!â
Ms.Kang turns towards the demon - who cannot get away, is stuck between the shouting and the angry Hunters and the burning and a familiar white-hot tension in masterâs face, and the demon is bad, the demon is bad, the demon is badâ
And then Ms.Kangâs hands are hauling it up away from Rumi, who is still yelling something the demon does not understand about her security deposit, and drags the demon down the hall and into the bathroom. The demon is bad and snivelling and manipulative, the demon is bad and it needs to be corrected, and Ms. Kang shoves the demon into the shower cubicle and turns on the cold water and takes the soft sweatshirt it had been allowed to wear because it is bad and it is not allowed nice things, and it is bad.
It is bad, and its chest hurts to be bad, and it hurts because Ms. Kangâ
It hurts. The demon is choking on it, how much it hurts, and its chest is aching, and noises are coming up out of its throat unbidden, and it is bad, and it cannot stop. Its head hurts and its stomach hurts and it is wailing in a way that cannot be allowed, and Ms. Kang is leaving it there in the coldâ
The demon flings its arms out towards Ms. Kang, who tries to say something. The demon does not know what it is â it is not listening; it is bad â but Ms. Kang catches hold of both the demonâs wrists and holds it there, under the cold water, while the demon shakes.
The Hunters know. The long-haired one Rumi calls eomma. Miyeong, the Hunter it killed.
They know, and they know that the demon needs to be killed, and Ms. Kangâ
An animal howl rips out of its throat. Ms. Kang stares at it, still gripping its arms, mouth open as she says more words the demon cannot take in. It feels as though the sound has jarred something loose inside its chest, every bad demon thought it has ever tried to keep secret, and all of them are trying to spill out of its mouth at once. The demon howls again, and chokes on it, and tries to pull its arms free, and snaps with its ugly sharp teeth at the air, and Ms. Kang does not let go.
Ms. Kang does not let the demon go.
The demon does not know how long they stay there, in the cold and wet, only that at some point the shower is turned off and Ms. Kang releases its arms before another violent sob tears out of its mouth again, and it collapses into her lap.
The demon is crying, it realises.
It doesnât know if it has cried before. It knows that it has never been allowed. But they know it is bad - the Hunters, who know it killed one of them â and Ms. Kang, whoâ
Ms. Kang who hit the Hunters, to save it.
The thought feels bigger than there is room in the demon to hold onto it: Ms. Kang, who knows what the demon is, had stopped the Hunters from killing it. Ms. Kang had fought them off. The demon had been corrected with cold water before, but never like Ms. Kang is correcting it now - still being held, Ms. Kang and the demon together in the cold.
The demon continues to snivel, and Ms. Kang continues to not correct it, until finally it feels that all of its tears have been used up, and Ms. Kang - gently - sits them both up.
âWe should go,â she tells the demon - because the demon has ruined this place it was allowed indoors, this place where there was the promise of more snacks, more soft things, more, more, more. The demon just reaches up, and Ms. Kang scoops it against her front and carries the demon that way, so the demon can feel how Ms. Kangâs breath hitches.
More hot, fat tears slip from its face and pool onto Ms. Kangâs shoulder.
The Hunters are waiting for them. When Ms. Kang opens the door, the one who helped clean the demonâs cuts is holding towels and more clothes, and the one the demon killed is holding her Rumi. The demon glances up and sees them waiting, and drops its head back to Ms. Kangâs shoulder.
âWe can leave,â Ms. Kang says hurriedly. âWe can go back and camp out there â or find somewhere else to stay â Just donât hurt her, please, Miyeong, donâtââ
âThe muzzle stays on,â the Hunter it killed says. She presses her mouth closed in one tight, angry line, and looks as though she wants to say something else, but does not.
âRumi could have died, if you think Iâm going to let youââ
âEomma! Iâve been bitten worse at work, okay? She didnât even touch me!â
âWe agreed weâd do this later,â the other Hunter says. âCome on, let them dry off first.â
The other Hunter follows them both into the bathroom, where Ms. Kang wraps the demon in the biggest, fluffiest towel it has ever seen and starts to pat it dry. She does not hit Ms. Kang, and she does not try to hit the demon, so the demon tries not to flinch when the other Hunter comes closer.Â
âOkay, kiddo, no biting. Howâs your back?â
The demon blinks up at her.
âThe burn,â the Hunter says. â... You know you were burned, donât you?â
The demon has been burning ever since it first came into this world. The other Hunter had hurt it, it knows, but that was fair after what the demon did to her, and everything since then - the shower, and the crying, and Ms. Kang â had been so much that even the pain had blurred together with all the rest of it.
âKiddo, why did you think your Celine dragged you in here?â
The demon glances up at Ms. Kangâs face. It feels very small and very, very stupid. Back in its world, Master had taught Mira and Zoey how to treat their injuries and the demon - because it i a demon and it is bad and not to be trusted - had listened to their lessons, sometimes, and had thought bad thoughts about the things it would like to happen as Master described all the ways she has been hurt, the ways Mira and Zoey will be hurt. They had lessons, lots of them, about how to splint their bones and wrap their wounds; they had been taught to run cool water over their burns, and the demon remembers this and feels an electric thrill all the way down to its toes.
Ms. Kang doesnât do corrections.
The shower isnât because the demon is bad. Ms. Kang wanted to help, Ms. Kang wanted the demon not to be hurt â had carried it up the mountain, and let it sleep on top of her, and fought the Hunters, and stopped the burning getting worse, and had done all those things while the demon hurt her.
Ms. Kang does not want to correct it.
The demon scrunches up its toes and lets Ms. Kang check its shoulders, carefully patting it dry as she does. The other Hunter watches them silently.
âIâm not going to ask why youâre only talking to Miyeongââ
âSheâs her mother,â Ms. Kang snaps back; the other Hunter ignores her (ignores her! Ms. Kang!) and carries on talking.
â--And not me, but Iâm with her. We canât risk your Rumi killing someone, and if you canât keep the muzzle on herââ
âI can wear it,â the demon promises. âI canâ Ms. Kang, I can keep it on.â
For you, the demon thinks with a dizzying force to the thought. Ms. Kang, I can do it for you.
Ms. Kang turns her face towards the demonâs. âYou shouldnât have to.â
âI want to be safe,â the demon tells her. It isnât used to wanting, is even less used to doing so out loud, and as soon as the words leave its mouth it wants to curl back up into a ball on Ms. Kangâs lap and stay there forever.
But it is true. Ms. Kang had taken it out of the kennel, and away from the burning, and the demon had shredded her. And Ms. Kang had held it tight and fought the Hunters, and the demon had tried to fight her. If its claws and fangs, everything sharp and ugly and horrible about it, can be clipped away so easily, then maybe Ms. Kang can hold it again â maybe Ms. Kang can let it curl up, can press her own arms around the demonâs body so that they are touching so much â the demon can be safe, for Ms. Kang.
Ms. Kang just looks down at the demon, her hand hovering over the demonâs cheek. She could be touching it, the demon thinks, if it is nice and not spiky and safe. It would be nice, to be touched by Ms. Kang like it is something precious that can be held softly. It would be nice to be held forever.
âI want you to be safe, too,â Ms. Kang answers.