So, Iāve been working on this draft for exactly 3 weeks (2 weeks actually since I was at the beach in between) and my current word count is 20,712. Iām like shearing through it at the speed of light.Ā
Donāt let that fool you though, there have been some major obstacles along the way. Several times I wasnāt happy with the draft and I would abandon it for a day, just to come back the next. Itās been a productive writing sprint, but not exactly a smooth one.Ā
In previous renditions of this book, there were 3 parts. Iāve gotten rid of the part system for this draft, but where Iām at now is essentially the end of part 1. Since Iām going to be extremely busy over the next few months, I wanted to finish at this natural stopping point so I can go back and leisurely edit what Iāve written instead of worrying about drafting part 2 just yet (I might get to that during NaNoWriMo!). A few issues Iāve noticed need addressed during my editing phase are:
1. Like always, itās severely underwritten, scenes are thin, etc. Iām expecting to add at least another 5k to part 1. I know itās probably going to end up being a shorter novel (70-75k?) but right now I feel like the chapter arcs are too rushed.Ā
2. Thereās one chapter in particular (a flashback) that I am not happy with whatsoever, and I need to make the decision to either cut it and revise the chapters in the present, or just improve the chapter/its place in the narrative.Ā
3. Cleaning up misc. awkward phrasing/line edit because my first drafts read convoluted as hell.
4. Iām still a little shaky on the protagonist, Torr. Iām pantsing/discovery writing a good bit of this draft, and because of that the personalities of the characters now are sometimes unaligned with how they were in previous drafts. I donāt exactly know if this is a bad thing yet--it could just be because I see how different they are and automatically assume it is. I think Torr is more active now as well as intensely cerebral, and a more compelling protagonist. In my old version a big problem was Torr just existing and reacting to bad things that happened to her. In this version she gets to go out and experience things/make decisions. She feels much more mature, I think. Iām going to keep an eye on her.
Overall Iām content with how itās gone thus far. I think once Iāve edited part 1 it might end up being one of the best things Iāve ever written, and since I havenāt been involved in writing for such a long time that feels great. It feels so new and different and experimental.Ā
From chapter 14,Ā āSmokee the Owletā
I hadnāt planned to write this at all, it just came out randomly and I love it. It shows spiritually-conflicted Torr at her most unhinged. Content warning for self-harm/cutting.
Over the coming weeks I habitually trespassed the chapel. I returned several commentaries Iād finished, I prostrated before the altar, I replayed the scenario over and over again, modifying my actions until I was the heroine. I prayed to no avail. I prayed aloud to no avail. I held the chalice high above my head and asked God to shatter it at my whim, spritz my hair with glassdust. I paced the aisle reading Wisdom. I paced the chancel reading Vanās textbook. I pried a shard of tinted glass from an alcove and dragged its edge up my ulna and dripped the silvery blood on the podium, like it would rejuvenate the Spirit of God in this place, like the reredos would open a portal to the astral realms of Enoch. Each night I traipsed through the snow toward home, embarrassed beyond belief.
From chapter 17,Ā āThe Man in the Windowā
This plot-line was never part of any old versions. I completely improvised it and itās one of my favorite things ever. Torr is blackmailed into visiting theĀ ātown hermit,ā a disfigured man who lurks in his window. This is a description of what she enters to:
I broke my grasp on the knob and ambled, knees stiff, beneath the entryway. My heart fluttered. The kitchen walls bristled with steel weaponry: maces, flails, morningstars, an enormous battleaxe. A harpoon taller than me mounted across the window. Wicked bludgeons, rusting spears, ulus, pikes, hammers and scythes. A grizzly leghold trap mawed over my head. Blades and serrated arrowheads on each square inch of wallspace. I turned to bolt, heat flushing my face, the safety net gone, plunged into animal fear. He shouted to stop.
āTheyāre not for you,ā he said.
From chapter 18,Ā āWhat I Did After Reading Matthew 5-7ā³
This chapter was also never in the plan. Itās formatted as a list, detailing how Torrās behavior changes for the better (and worse) after reading the famous Sermon on the Mount.Ā
I shed my coat, my underclothes. Giddy at such an altitude, at such a slant. I sat in the roots and prickling thistles, laid supine, sunlight white on my chest and legs. Light snowfall down the valley; it clung to my lashes. I gazed up at the high blue cirrus, shivering, nauseous with the gravity, then at peace.
And, if that seemed strange, donāt worry--at the end of the chapter:
I asked myself who this person was, the one who thought about Christ and got naked in boreal forests.
Lastly, from chapter 19,Ā āLiminal Theologiansā
I had an entirely different plan for this chapter from the start. Since the majority of part 1 is Torr off on her own, I wanted part 1 to end showing her relationship with her two friends, Van and Nik, since theyāre instrumental in part 2 and especially in part 3. In this chapter they all go down to a bridge, fish, and talk about conspiracies. Unbeknownst to Torr (and me) one of them has brought alcohol. This excerpt is of Torr going on a drunken, TMI rant about her life:Ā
āI feel like thereās a lot nobody knows about me,ā I continued. āI think about a lot of stuff all the time. I do weird things now. Well theyāre not weird. Theyāre beautiful sometimes. I actually donāt know if I believe in God actually. Why am I the only one in the whole world asking the questions? And itās all buzzing up here in my head and I have no one to share it with and I want to just scream do you know?ā
āTorr,ā Van said.Ā āYou have to stop.ā
Iām going to take Vanās advice and stop this update before it gets too long. I hope you enjoyed! Iām not sure when the next update will be but stay tuned!