Popupo⚔️🌿

⠀ ˗ˏˋ [Popupo] ˎˊ ⠀ ────────── ⠀ ⠀ ꒰ [teen] ꒱ ✦ [she/her] ✦ [Pisces] ⠀ ⠀ ⠀[an artist trying their best!]⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ────────── ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ [It's okay, it's okay It's okay, you're okay You lived a million years You'll make it through the day Through the sun And the rain And the mud And the clay. 🍃 You lived a million years Now look ahead to better days] ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ˗ˏˋ [Main Fandoms] ˎˊ˗ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⚔️ ⠀. ────────── ⠀ ⠀. ꒰ [One piece] ꒱ ✦ [dawtde] ⠀ ⠀. ⠀[You know it's weird writing a final letter. Almost as if I have to come to terms with... Whatever this is.] 🥀 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ────────── ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ [no posting schedule just whenever I feel like it]

[kenziec0]

PLEASE SUBMIT ANY CHARACTERS YOUD LIKE ME TO TRY TO DRAW! (may include OCS asking as I'm shown a photo for reference)

Enter it on the *DRAWING IDEAS* button! Thank you! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

(edit: this is old it will be changed to ask me anything. You can still do this)

[kenziec0]

A painting I had made of D3rlord3

[kenziec0]

I was watching some more args and started to make this while watching! (Probably alot of mistakes in this drawing)

[kenziec0]

D3rlord3 themed binder I am working on

[kenziec0]

New profile picture:Ddd

[kenziec0]

Avery standee!!! I made with cardboard and paper along with tape

[kenziec0]

D3rlord3 drawing!?

Hope you enjoy!

[kenziec0]

Avery Standee I made! (Paper, tape, cardboard)

My wifi went out for a bit so I got busy

[kenziec0]

Is there anything I should draw or write I'm kinda like stumped lol

Like idunno if I should write another dawtde fanfic or continue uploaded memories or like friggin something else

[kenziec0]

Keychain I made!

[kenziec0]

Just something I did with oil pastels

[kenziec0]

HEAVENS LOCKED DOORS

My cringey oc writing ig<3 gay yaoi core

HEAVENS LOCKED DOORS.

Ever city: 2109. February 1st. ..

I would've been sixteen at the time. Aimlessly walking the streets at night. Neon signs blasting my eyes. Of course I had forgotten my glasses. But I didn't care. It wasn't worth the energy.

I went to sit down against a building in my dirty black hoodie and pajama pants. Tired, I had fallen asleep. I woke up to the smell of smoke. The smell went into my lungs and I started to cough. I looked up, annoyed. Irritated. All then to see a guy looking down at me. Red tinted glasses. With a cocky smirk. His cigarette held between his fingers right up to my nose.

“Wakey wakey..” he said in a teasing tone

“Have you no manners you jackass? Man.. just leave me alone.” I whacked his cigarette away with my hand closing my eyes for a second.

And all of sudden I felt a slap to my face..

I had seen the ground close up, my mouth dripping blood.. later I had woken up in the hospital.

It's too much of a long story to get into. But I later found out that the man's name was Ethan Edgewater. Not long after. Around three to six years he started a cult called Heaven's delight. Everything they preach is just twisted.

Slowly these… fake angels.. whatever they were or well.. are. Flooded the streets. Patrolling the streets.. he calls them ICRA.

And so.

I formed the defensive program called I.U. which stands for icarus uprising.

We protect citizens from irca. And well Ethan himself. We have a few secret sponsors.. enough for weapon equipment and donations for food.

My mission is to get rid of this cult. Bring back peace to the city and Ethan to never show his face ever again.

“Jay! We've got a problem” someone's voice interrupted my thoughts by calling my name.

It was Jules who had. She's the vice president of the program. Dark brown skin and freckles all over her face and new hairstyle for this week.

“What is it?” I sighed, tapping my fingers against my desk and spinning my chair to face her.

“The icras.. a landfill of them. Was found by a citizen. Outside the city skirts.”

“And when I say landfill I mean… landfill.” she looked at me with an urgency of worry and panic

“A landfill you say?..” a landfill of icras. Was it recent? Is something that Ethan is messing up and eliminating the mistakes? Or over time he's dumped them all there?..

“This is big Jay! Why aren't you-” I interrupted Jules panic.

“Head over with the others, and take photos. I'll send them to a newspaper. Maybe this will take a few out of that devilish cult.” I continued.

I got up from my chair and softly pushed her out and closed my door and turned to my corkboard with sightings of Ethan. Red string connecting them to other papers.

“What.. a jackass.” I slowly said to myself staring at a photo of Ethan leaving into an alleyway.

I put my fingers up to it and tore it off the board and stuffed it into my pocket and left my office.

“Ahem ahem.. well I've been told about the situation and find this alarming we will send out troops on East and West. I'll be patrolling near Eden center. Better of me than any of you. Now let's get going. Grab your weapons. And blow anything that gets in your way unless it's the big boss himself. If so, I'll take him.’ I said walking around the room with all the trainees. Supervisors or veterans along with those close in command listened attentively.

“But sir what if we can't contact you?’ a trainee asked. “Don't worry. I'll be there.” I said with my hands in my pockets.

The trainee nodded. But it was a nod of annoyance.

“Do we have a problem?” I walked up to him smiling, giving my nicest face. “No sir-” the trainee stiffened. “Let's have a chat about it.” I dragged him by the arm and threw him into my office.

“No one. Ever gives me that fucking disgusting egotistical nod. Don't even twist your face in that way. You're lucky I'm letting you keep your head this time. Run along.”

And the trainee got up from the floor and ran out.

Once the troops had gotten to their areas. I stood out the Eden center

Where every ICRA and disgusting sin is made into fake purity. A round white tall building with tons of windows. Why build something that could shatter so easily.

*Ring Ring ring*

“No.. could it be?-” I checked my phone in urgency only to see it's my mother.

“Hey. What is it?” I asked, picking up the call “we miss you, are you coming for Thanksgiving dinner? We haven't seen you since that incident and now all of sudden you have this underground business- I mean we are concerned about me and your father. Did we not give you everything you wanted as a kid?” I sighed at my mother's words. “I'm gonna be busy. Maybe next year.” And hung up.

“That's not very nice to hang up on your parents.” I heard that familiar voice. It triggered me. Made me see red.

I turned around instantly to see Ethan. Older. But the same. Just a bit more fancier clothes.

“Ethan …” I growled.

“But I understand. Parents can.. be your own ruin.” He sang out his words gently and rough.

“You're twisted.” I said as he circled me.

“What's wrong Jay? Don't you think I know about I.U?” He tugged on my tie. “I'm aware you know.” I said tapping my foot looking down at him.

I saw how he hated that look. He ruled it. He despised it. He went for a punch but I jumped to the other side and round house kicked him into a building causing a bit of damage to the building's wall.

“You'll play for that right? After all, you're a savior! A purity.” I scoffed in a sarcastic manner.

He got up and came sprinting at me and I got ready in position when he jumped over me and kicked my head into the ground.

I fell down to my knees. I felt blood drip down from my nose. I wiped it away and got up.

“Jeez. You got tougher in a few years. Good job Jay.” “I'll hand it to ya.”

“I don't need praise from a bastard.” I hissed.

“Me a bastard? No no.. I'm just trying to save others!” He teased

“You don't save anyone. You destroy and destroy to satisfy yourself.” I muttered. But Ethan gave me a look. “But is that not what you also do?”

“What?” I let out

“Is that not what-” he repeated

“I heard you the first time.” I said dismissing him

“We aren't the same. Your twisted evil. Harmful. Disgusting. I'm here to serve justice for all those you hurt.” I spouted.

“If you had two options, let the world survive and never defeat me or let the world burn and defeat me. Which one would you choose, Jay?” he had a smirk worn on his face.

“I'd let the world burn.”

“So you'd have no world to come back to.”

“You'd kill everyone just to ruin me? My days Jay. You are truly selfish. If I didn't know any better. I think you'd be the villain in the story.” Ethan patted my shoulder and punched him but he lead back and dodged.

“Come on. Calm down, we are having a sweet moment.” Ethan laughed whacking my back as he laughed his ass off like no tomorrow.

I could smell roses and cigarettes ash along as citrus smell coming off him

He leaned closer into me.

“You're like a clingy bitch.” I said folding my arms.

“That's not nice.” Ethan fake pouted.

“Preach it.” I sarcastically responded.

And all of sudden a dead bird fell from the sky.

Right at Ethan's shoes

He instantly jumped up and fell on his ass.

“What- wha- what the fu-”he stammered as I picked it up and shoved it up to his face with a cocky smile “what scared of a dead bird? Man up.’ Ethan got up and his hands were shaking.

“Hah-i- h- hu- just- throw it away- I don't throw it- put it dow-” Ethan avoided the birds body with his eyes.

“What's wrong? Are those red tinted glasses not showing you all the rosy of your position?” I teased Ethan.

He jumped towards me to attack me but I dodged and he fell towards the ground and I sat on his back.

“Ghr..” he let out

“When did you get so weak Ethan?”

“I didn-ghre..hm. idnt” he groaned

“I wonder what you were like as a child. Were you always so twisted?” I started to talk

“Or did you just become twisted to be strong?’

“Or maybe you snapped.”

Ethan looked up at me in the corner of his eye. And rolled over and got me off him.

“I hope you fucking die.” He yelled at me and threw a gas bomb at the ground out of his pocket and soon disappeared, my eyes still sore from the light

Chapter one finished.

[kenziec0]

UPLOADED MEMORIES

I apologize for my cringe writing style and if I get any translations wrong or written something offensive but please just enjoy!

After I had uploaded my letter. I scooted my chair back towards my window as the fireworks sparkled and fell down. Red, yellow, blue.. all kinds of colours.

Happy birthday to me..

Twenty four.

I took one long sip from my berry smoothie.

Slurrrrpppp…

With my other hand I twiddled with my hair. It had gotten awfully long. Where had I gone? I wanted to be a paramedic.. but now Im a hobo looking trash bag probably who is gonna end it all because of Minecraft. How amusing.

Slurrrppp….

I felt my head tearing apart.

Destroying two minds to destroy one.

Crazy.

Oh well.

At least everything is finally quiet.

Even in one's last minutes. Humans are granted a moment of peace.

God truly blessed me.

Even with everything that happened. Every failure. Just drifted. I find myself.. unworried. I'm sure. In the next life. It'll end up better.

I wonder.

Avery. Where will you go when I'm dead?

Will my soul wait until you follow? Will we be bonded that way? Or was this just a brief moment of content.

I tapped my fingers against the black wooden desk.

I leaned back on my leather office chair. It wasn't the comfiest but it did the trick.

I smelt my arm pits and coughed and winced at the oder. But it makes sense. Sweating in this dirty grey hoodie for who knows how long I've been in this chair for. Would of course make it smell bad.

I wonder. What they will dress me in, at the funeral. Maybe a black suit with a red tie or a white suit with a purple tie. Of course my family would only have the prestigious clothes for me once I'm dead.

Only care once I'm dead.

I have my reasons in the past for why I don't mind if I die and that I'm not losing anything.

But I won't get into that.

I've pushed Avery away. With resources, Of reassurance of course.

I'm just myself.

Yet I still cry at the sight.

Fireworks. They truly are a beauty, a spark that dies out twinkling.

Avery. Are you seeing these as well?

Wherever you are.

Watch with me.

Don't cry.

I'll cry enough for the both of us.

Chapter one

You know it's weird writing a final letter. Almost as if I have to come to terms with... Whatever this is. Which is something I find quite displeasurable. But here I am. Why did I even record all this? I don't know. Well I do know. I just don't want to be forgotten. My head hurts like hell. I can feel myself slipping as we become one. And my mind becomes a prison. What a true shame it is. All the knowledge in the world and no way to use it. That's how it should be I suppose.

We stumbled into a world we have no business in. This is just the cost.

Please don't think you failed, Avery. When you read this, don't think you let me down. You didn't. It's thanks to you, and all that you did, that millions live to see another day.

And thanks to you, I got a chance to see all the beauty of the universe. Things I never even knew were in the world. Or could be. A chance no human will ever get again. I'm grateful that I saw it all. Even if it was just for a little.

You're capable of great things. You'll do great things. So believe in yourself. And I don't just say that because I saw it. It doesn't take a God for me to figure that out. I know it because I know you. Goodbye my friend.

Whatever you do at the crossroads. Keep going forward.

Or something like that.

(I was never really good at endings.)

It would be five months from the time he wrote that letter. I guess I've been struggling. Minecraft helps. Playing online with others. But it's not the same.. It feels like more of a chore to stay human and normal rather than make me happy. I've been happy tons of times before.. well everything that happened. But.. moments during everything were scary, traumatic. But I also had a rush of fun, a rush of happiness. Maybe I just wanna experience it again or maybe it was Derek. Maybe I could, maybe this or maybe that. I can't find home, maybe I can't live with the idea that Derek is dead. Maybe it was a hoax. I never saw it. I'd never know, I could just keep saying maybe and dig into theories that could ruin me or live, find someone to love, get back outside. Step out of this room.

I'm.. Hungry

I got up from my desk. Closing the tab on my computer. My desk chair now empty, myself standing at my white blank painted door, the silver knob on the door feeling impossible to twist.

Feeling stuck.

In a cycle. Stuck.

Sweating and hyperventilating, I forced myself to turn the goddamn knob and suck it up.

Once I opened the door my sister dropped her plate she was bringing to her room.

“Avery- your- it's nice to see you up.” She looked terrified to scare me back into my room. Like if she said one word wrong or acted shocked, shut the door and lock it. Again. “Mn. Yeah.”

“Do we have milk.”

I asked simply. Straight to the point.

“I think down in the fridge. We also got some smoothies this morning. Me and mom. We got you one; it's in the fridge as well.” My sister said, dragging the conversation again. I suppose that's normal though I haven't talked to anyone face to face in five months. Not since before New Year's Eve. I had brought a plate of nachos into my room to eat and play Minecraft that night. I waved bye to my family and said I'd see them at the new year and closed my door.

I didn't know that I'd be ripped off my happiness that night.

Coming to terms with the fact I'm losing myself. That's what they want.

No way I'm admitting that because that means. Everything that.. Derek did. Keeping myself.. myself everything he tried is worth nothing.

I'm so sick of everyone… I just don't know why. I should be happy. I quit college. I sit in my room all day playing Minecraft and sleeping. People would kill for that relaxation.

But.. I didn't.. I don't.. I wouldn't.

Maybe I deserve nothing

Maybe I should've been the one whose mind was ripped apart

Maybe it's my fault

Maybe I could've done something better

Maybe I wouldn't had been so stupid to fall for “what's in your inventory”

Maybe I.

Maybe I could do more

I could find him

I can.

“Honey you're just.. standing there are you okay?”

My mother asked, holding my shoulder. Snapping me out of my thoughts

“Yeah I'm fine..” I looked down at my feet and went down the carpet stairs to the kitchen.

My feet felt the cold marble once I stepped off the stairs and into the kitchen.

It felt unnatural. Perhaps I have been spending too much time playing Minecraft to really just do normal stuff.

What was it that I was down here for?.. milk. But there is a smoothie in the fridge as well.

Which one do I take? A slush full of fruits that I probably won't like or a cup of milk…

They're watching.

I might as well just take the smoothie. So they don't worry. Such a hassle.

I popped off the lid of the smoothie and gulped it down.

The taste of berries that I couldn't care less about filling my mouth.

Familiar. Being full of something you couldn't care about.

Full of life. How do you care for life? How did I do it?.. I could spend hours wondering. But not hours trying. That's my truth.

Life isn't worth it. And I couldn't care less for millions of others. Just me and Derek would've been fine. Online playing. He wouldn't have to get up and meet me. I could show up to his house. Take care of him. Let him be able to live. Find a way for him. A path for him.

But he.. sacrificed himself for me and some random strangers who will never know what he did cause I'll sound insane if I say anything. Sure the whole world was depending on decisions in a MINECRAFT WORLD.

Oh dear Derek. How could I ever forget you. You truly believed I'd forget it all didn't you? I wish I could live up to what you wanted. But I might just end up against a rope if I push myself to that.

I dumped the empty smoothie cup into the trash and went back up the stairs. Feeling the texture change on my feet.

I went into my room, closed the door and locked it.

Back.

Warm.

Trapped.

Alone.

Nice.

The calendar still sat on new years eve.

I opened up a new tab on my computer as I sat down in my old black leather office chair again.

//.fireworks.com.ww//

A reply of fireworks all over the world from each new year's Eve from everywhere on the earth. From Ohio to Okinawa in Japan. Maybe I keep myself in a cycle of new year's Eve. But it's the day I met my happiness and lost it in 15 hours..

I checked the letter again.

I sighed deeply and opened the document

You know it's weird writing a final letter. Almost as if I have to come to terms with... Whatever this is. Which is something I find quite displeasurable. But here I am. Why did I even record all this? I don't know. Well I do know. I just don't want to be forgotten. My head hurts like hell. I can feel myself slipping as we become one. And my mind becomes a prison. What a true shame it is. All the knowledge in the world and no way to use it. That's how it should be I suppose.

We stumbled into a world we have no business in. This is just the cost.

Please don't think you failed, Avery. When you read this, don't think you let me down. You didn't. It's thanks to you, and all that you did, that millions live to see another day.

And thanks to you, I got a chance to see all the beauty of the universe. Things I never even knew were in the world. Or could be. A chance no human will ever get again. I'm grateful that I saw it all. Even if it was just for a little.

You're capable of great things. You'll do great things. So believe in yourself. And I don't just say that because I saw it. It doesn't take a God for me to figure that out. I know it because I know you. Goodbye my friend.

Whatever you do at the crossroads. Keep going forward.

Or something like that.

(I was never really good at endings.)

I sighed deeper.

Chapter 2

I scrolled down the document up and down. I banged my head against the laptop. My energy was at an all time low.. I felt hopeless.

It was hopeless.

There is no way I could find Derek. I didn't have his address or email. And let's be honest I'm not the brightest lightbulb in the shed. I'm not Derek. I'm not smart, I'm not a genius or brilliant. I'm just..

I thought hard about it. Spinning my chair leaned back.

“A professional idiot.”

Yeah. That sounds right.

I picked up the laptop to put it back into its case and saw tape on the bottom.

“If found please return to—”

“Holy shit.”

“¡De ninguna manera!!”

I instantly took a photo. Ran over to my phone and searched up the address. It was only three hours away from me. Three hours. So close… we were so close when- no. Avery calmed down.

Who knows he could've moved by the time he gave the laptop away. But.. there's a chance. And if there's a chance I'll take it.

I rushed down the stairs my mother watching me in my pajamas running out the door

“Avery! ¿Adónde crees que vas??!” She called out pulling her curly hair back into a bun with a concerned face

“I'll be back!” And I shut the door as she scoffed and shook her head “that wasn't an answer. I swear. Just like his father.” after she had gone back to sweeping

I hopped onto my bike and biked three hours towards the address.

Once I had gotten to the address I abruptly stopped the bike I practically jumped off it and pushed the bike aside and fumbled my way to the door almost tripping. With bursting excitement I knocked on the door.

I heard a squeezing and saw the door open.

I saw a short man with grown out hair and baggy eyes and glasses answer the door. He had a baggy hoodie on with baggy shorts.. but when I looked further down. I realized he wasn't short but actually in a wheelchair.

“Derek?...”

I let out too fast for comfort.

He looked back up at me.

“Avery..”

Chapter three

Interrupting the tension between me and who I presumed was Derek. Was a woman with slicked back hair. That probably used a lot of gel.

She had a nursing outfit on. She looked professional.

“I'm Carly, I'm Derek's caretaker until he gets used to the wheelchair.”

I felt my world.. pause.

What?.

Derek spoke up

“Carly. Can you go away for a moment?”

Derek fiddled with the wheels. Trying to turn the wheelchair. Clearly struggling. Perhaps one of the wheels was flat or maybe installed wrong?

“Uh.. Derek. Can I help push you?”

I knew it was impolite to just move him. I asked just in case he didn't want me to. To be honest I'm just confused.. what happened in the span of what?.. five or six months?

Derek looked up at me. He hesitated and sighed.

“Yes, please.”

And I pushed him through the hallways and into his kitchen.

“You want an explanation?”

Derek said as he tapped on the sides of his wheelchair.

“I'd like that.”

I sat down across him

“Well. There was too much pressure on my brain. And it stopped sending signals to my lower half.” Derek calmly said as he dug the dirt out of the under of his nails.

“So are you okay? I mean- Derek it's been so long since we've talked- there has to be so much more. Like-” I rambled fidgeting with my thumbs.

“Avery just- wait a minute you're giving me a headache.” Derek put his hand on the temple of his head, and started massaging it.

“Yes I'm okay. Just paralyzed for the rest of my life basically. It's not a big deal. And I don't want it to be a big deal. I'm just taking some time to get used to life alright?”

“I know it's been long, you can stay as long as you want. Just.. don't stress about it alright?”

Derek softly smiled at me as if giving some sort of reassurance. I hated how Derek could read me so easily. But I loved how brilliant he was.

“Alright then.”

“If that's what you want Derek.”

“So. How is your training going?” “Is training the right word?” I asked, resting my chin on my hand.

“My adjustment is going fine” Derek corrected me

“Right adjustment sorry.” I apologized

“It's alright” he nodded at me

An awkward silence between us

“So-”— “well”

We both tried to interrupt the silence.

“You first”

I waited for whatever he wanted to talk about.

“Ah, uh… well.” Derek gathered his thoughts.

“I'm sorry.” “Sorry that I just.. abandoned you.” he licked his lips taking a moment to breathe.

“It wasn't the right thing. But I felt. Like everything was so sudden I had to make decisions like.. well you know.”

I was so happy to see Derek alive I didn't.. even focus on what really did happen. All the pain i was going through..

Derek had pushed me and left himself to go through torture to save me and millions of others. Yet I had been so selfish to sit in my own depression..

“No it's.. fine. I should've.. I shouldn't have been so dumb that day. I was a complete idiot. And I feel like a bastard for just. Waiting for six months rotting in my own depression. I could've.. we could've…” I trailed off.

“What's the point of thinking about what you could've done if you've already done it. Don't give it a single thought. It's okay.” Derek looked into my eyes as if he saw every bit of me.

I fidgeted with my sleeves.

The longer the silence got the more I felt eyes on me.

“If you say so..”

I took a deep sigh and rested my head on the marble island.

Derek then spoke up “you can sleep over. I have a guest room or .. in my room.”

His room? “Uh sure. Let me let my mother know..” in his house? In his room? Holy shit.

I reached into my pocket to text my mother but realized I left my phone at home

“Ah shit… shit…”

“So .. ahem. I kindaaa forgot my phone at home—” Derek slid his phone across the island open up with the call app on screen.

“Oh.”

“Thanks.”

I rang in my mother's number and waited for her to pick up.

*Click*

“Hola mamá, me quedaré a dormir en casa de una amiga esta noche, ¿está bien, sí?” I asked my mother, now standing I started tapping my fingers on the island and leaned against it.

I saw Derek's eyes look me up and down from the corner of my eye.

My mother responded suspiciously “¿Quién es esta amiga Avery?”

“Se llama Derek. Es un tipo genial. Increíble. Encantador—” my mother let out a noise of realization “Vale, vale... guárdalo para él, vuelvo enseguida.” And the call ended.

“Well.. I can stay over” I said, handing his phone back but when I did he was smirking.

“Whats made you so happy?” I asked him

“So I'm charming hm?” Derek said in a teasing tone.

I had never wanted to disappear more than now.

“I'm not.. sure what your talking about— *fake yawn* I'm tired, you're tired, alright let's go to bed!”

“Mhm?~ alright alright..” … “I'm definitely tired.” He said copying my fake yawn.

“So do you wanna sleep in my room or the guest room?” he asked

“Will you be sleeping next to me?” I slipped up bad.

“If you ask nicely.”

…

What.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Please?”

“Good enough for me.

…

His bed sheets felt silky.. and cold.. but the heat coming off his body felt so comfortable.. he had fallen asleep so quick..

I reached out my finger towards his lips feeling his breath against my skin.

“Asombroso..” I whispered to myself.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep soon after.

In the morning I woke up and woke up Derek by pushing him with my hands.

“Morningggg-*yawn*” he turned his head towards me.

“Morning.. Can you go call Carly so she can help me get into my wheelchair?”

“Can't I help you?” I questioned.

“You can try.” He responded.

I got up out of the bed and rolled the wheelchair over and slowly helped Derek get into his wheelchair.

“See? No need for Carly when you have me!” I proudly said flexing my muscles as Derek looked at me with a scoff

“Oh really?” Derek said looking up at me

“I- well-.. only if you wanted that of course.”

“You know what I want?” Derek smirked.

“What?”

“You on top of m—” and Carly walked in.

“Ah I see, you've already gotten into your wheelchair today Derek.” she said smiling

But when I looked back at Derek's face his eye was twitching. Did something happen?

Once Carly left

“What were you saying?” I asked

“Nothing, don't worry about it” Derek brushed his hair out his face.

“Are you sure?” I looked down at him.

He was practically gripping the arm rest on his wheel chair while he looked me up and down

“Yep.” Derek confirmed.

“Let's go get some breakfast alright?” “Do you need help pushing your wheelchair?”

Derek nodded no and wheeled himself to the stair lift.

Once we had gotten to the kitchen

I started to cook up some pancakes and noticed a family picture of Derek with a bunch of other kids and two older people.

I picked it up “is this your family?”

Derek wheeled his way over to me and picked up the photo out of my hands.

“Yeah, it was from my first lantern festival back in Hong-Kong.” He nodded.

“Hong-Kong?” I questioned.

“I'm wasian. My dad is white my mother is Chinese.”

I flipped the pancake on the pan.

“Awesome.”

“How was the lantern festival?” I asked

“It was so long ago.. I don't remember much of it. Just how strict my mother was about my outfit for it.” Derek responded

“Really?” I passed over a plate with pancakes on it to derek

But all of a sudden Derek's phone started to ring. The caller ID name was set as 妈妈.

“Hello?”

“你什么意思？那不是……” derek had this concerned look plastered on his face

“你在开玩笑吧.” Derek soon finished the call.

“It's my mom.. my dad. He's.. dying.”

…

chapter four

Might be continued I'm not sure.

[kenziec0]

Almost done with uploaded memories!

[kenziec0]

Uploaded memories is being worked on currently!

[kenziec0]

Before I work in Uploaded memories happy ending I'd like to share this drawing I did for what I imagined Avery as! (Well for the funeral...)

[kenziec0]

DAWTDE FANFIC

ignore my cheesy and bad hand writing<3

Also this is a version of the story. Sooo there will be a much happier one with request!

UPLOADED MEMORIES

After I had uploaded my letter. I scooted my chair back towards my window as the fireworks sparkled and fell down. Red, yellow, blue.. all kinds of colours.

Happy birthday to me..

Twenty four.

I took one long sip from my berry smoothie.

Slurrrrpppp…

With my other hand I twiddled with my hair. It had gotten awfully long. Where had I gone? I wanted to be a paramedic.. but now Im a hobo looking trash bag probably who is gonna end it all because of Minecraft. How amusing.

Slurrrppp….

I felt my head tearing apart.

Destroying two minds to destroy one.

Crazy.

Oh well.

At least everything is finally quiet.

Even in one's last minutes. Humans are granted a moment of peace.

God truly blessed me.

Even with everything that happened. Every failure. Just drifted. I find myself.. unworried. I'm sure. In the next life. It'll end up better.

I wonder.

Avery. Where will you go when I'm dead?

Will my soul wait until you follow? Will we be bonded that way? Or was this just a brief moment of content.

I tapped my fingers against the black wooden desk.

I leaned back on my leather office chair. It wasn't the comfiest but it did the trick.

I smelt my arm pits and coughed and winced at the oder. But it makes sense. Sweating in this dirty grey hoodie for who knows how long I've been in this chair for. Would of course make it smell bad.

I wonder. What they will dress me in, at the funeral. Maybe a black suit with a red tie or a white suit with a purple tie. Of course my family would only have the prestigious clothes for me once I'm dead.

Only care once I'm dead.

I have my reasons in the past for why I don't mind if I die and that I'm not losing anything.

But I won't get into that.

I've pushed Avery away. With resources, Of reassurance of course.

I'm just myself.

Yet I still cry at the sight.

Fireworks. They truly are a beauty, a spark that dies out twinkling.

Avery. Are you seeing these as well?

Wherever you are.

Watch with me.

Don't cry.

I'll cry enough for the both of us.

Chapter one

You know it's weird writing a final letter. Almost as if I have to come to terms with... Whatever this is. Which is something I find quite displeasurable. But here I am. Why did I even record all this? I don't know. Well I do know. I just don't want to be forgotten. My head hurts like hell. I can feel myself slipping as we become one. And my mind becomes a prison. What a true shame it is. All the knowledge in the world and no way to use it. That's how it should be I suppose.

We stumbled into a world we have no business in. This is just the cost.

Please don't think you failed, Avery. When you read this, don't think you let me down. You didn't. It's thanks to you, and all that you did, that millions live to see another day.

And thanks to you, I got a chance to see all the beauty of the universe. Things I never even knew were in the world. Or could be. A chance no human will ever get again. I'm grateful that I saw it all. Even if it was just for a little.

You're capable of great things. You'll do great things. So believe in yourself. And I don't just say that because I saw it. It doesn't take a God for me to figure that out. I know it because I know you. Goodbye my friend.

Whatever you do at the crossroads. Keep going forward.

Or something like that.

(I was never really good at endings.)

It would be five months from the time he wrote that letter. I guess I've been struggling. Minecraft helps. Playing online with others. But it's not the same.. It feels like more of a chore to stay human and normal rather than make me happy. I've been happy tons of times before.. well everything that happened. But.. moments during everything were scary, traumatic. But I also had a rush of fun, a rush of happiness. Maybe I just wanna experience it again or maybe it was Derek. Maybe I could, maybe this or maybe that. I can't find home, maybe I can't live with the idea that Derek is dead. Maybe it was a hoax. I never saw it. I'd never know, I could just keep saying maybe and dig into theories that could ruin me or live, find someone to love, get back outside. Step out of this room.

I'm.. Hungry

I got up from my desk. Closing the tab on my computer. My desk chair now empty, myself standing at my white blank painted door, the silver knob on the door feeling impossible to twist.

Feeling stuck.

In a cycle. Stuck.

Sweating and hyperventilating, I forced myself to turn the goddamn knob and suck it up.

Once I opened the door my sister dropped her plate she was bringing to her room.

“Avery- your- it's nice to see you up.” She looked terrified to scare me back into my room. Like if she said one word wrong or acted shocked, shut the door and lock it. Again. “Mn. Yeah.”

“Do we have milk.”

I asked simply. Straight to the point.

“I think down in the fridge. We also got some smoothies this morning. Me and mom. We got you one; it's in the fridge as well.” My sister said, dragging the conversation again. I suppose that's normal though I haven't talked to anyone face to face in five months. Not since before New Year's Eve. I had brought a plate of nachos into my room to eat and play Minecraft that night. I waved bye to my family and said I'd see them at the new year and closed my door.

I didn't know that I'd be ripped off my happiness that night.

Coming to terms with the fact I'm losing myself. That's what they want.

No way I'm admitting that because that means. Everything that.. Derek did. Keeping myself.. myself everything he tried is worth nothing.

I'm so sick of everyone… I just don't know why. I should be happy. I quit college. I sit in my room all day playing Minecraft and sleeping. People would kill for that relaxation.

But.. I didn't.. I don't.. I wouldn't.

Maybe I deserve nothing

Maybe I should've been the one whose mind was ripped apart

Maybe it's my fault

Maybe I could've done something better

Maybe I wouldn't had been so stupid to fall for “what's in your inventory”

Maybe I.

Maybe I could do more

I could find him

I can.

“Honey you're just.. standing there are you okay?”

My mother asked, holding my shoulder. Snapping me out of my thoughts

“Yeah I'm fine..” I looked down at my feet and went down the carpet stairs to the kitchen.

My feet felt the cold marble once I stepped off the stairs and into the kitchen.

It felt unnatural. Perhaps I have been spending too much time playing Minecraft to really just do normal stuff.

What was it that I was down here for?.. milk. But there is a smoothie in the fridge as well.

Which one do I take? A slush full of fruits that I probably won't like or a cup of milk…

They're watching.

I might as well just take the smoothie. So they don't worry. Such a hassle.

I popped off the lid of the smoothie and gulped it down.

The taste of berries that I couldn't care less about filling my mouth.

Familiar. Being full of something you couldn't care about.

Full of life. How do you care for life? How did I do it?.. I could spend hours wondering. But not hours trying. That's my truth.

Life isn't worth it. And I couldn't care less for millions of others. Just me and Derek would've been fine. Online playing. He wouldn't have to get up and meet me. I could show up to his house. Take care of him. Let him be able to live. Find a way for him. A path for him.

But he.. sacrificed himself for me and some random strangers who will never know what he did cause I'll sound insane if I say anything. Sure the whole world was depending on decisions in a MINECRAFT WORLD.

Oh dear Derek. How could I ever forget you. You truly believed I'd forget it all didn't you? I wish I could live up to what you wanted. But I might just end up against a rope if I push myself to that.

I dumped the empty smoothie cup into the trash and went back up the stairs. Feeling the texture change on my feet.

I went into my room, closed the door and locked it.

Back.

Warm.

Trapped.

Alone.

Nice.

The calendar still sat on new years eve.

I opened up a new tab on my computer as I sat down in my old black leather office chair again.

//.fireworks.com.ww//

A reply of fireworks all over the world from each new year's Eve from everywhere on the earth. From Ohio to Okinawa in Japan. Maybe I keep myself in a cycle of new year's Eve. But it's the day I met my happiness and lost it in 15 hours..

I checked the letter again.

I sighed deeply and opened the document

You know it's weird writing a final letter. Almost as if I have to come to terms with... Whatever this is. Which is something I find quite displeasurable. But here I am. Why did I even record all this? I don't know. Well I do know. I just don't want to be forgotten. My head hurts like hell. I can feel myself slipping as we become one. And my mind becomes a prison. What a true shame it is. All the knowledge in the world and no way to use it. That's how it should be I suppose.

We stumbled into a world we have no business in. This is just the cost.

Please don't think you failed, Avery. When you read this, don't think you let me down. You didn't. It's thanks to you, and all that you did, that millions live to see another day.

And thanks to you, I got a chance to see all the beauty of the universe. Things I never even knew were in the world. Or could be. A chance no human will ever get again. I'm grateful that I saw it all. Even if it was just for a little.

You're capable of great things. You'll do great things. So believe in yourself. And I don't just say that because I saw it. It doesn't take a God for me to figure that out. I know it because I know you. Goodbye my friend.

Whatever you do at the crossroads. Keep going forward.

Or something like that.

(I was never really good at endings.)

I sighed deeper.

Chapter 2

oh.

So there wasn't a good ending was there?.

I started at the email from Amelia Hutchinz.

“We regret to inform you Derek is no longer with us. With his request, please come and hold a speech at his funeral. It'll be held at **** street. 204 next week on Wednesday.”

I felt my throat get itchy and I started to cough. My breathing I couldn't control. I felt myself hyperventilating.. I felt everything around me pause. My stomach is turning. I covered my mouth and ran down the stairs crouched over until I got to the kitchen garbage can and puke all over into the trash.

I gagged and tears soaked my face as tears runned down my face. More and more just kept piling on. I felt paralyzed in shock. My knees gave up my hand gripping on the trash can and I sobbed brutally. I banged my head against the can and bit my lip so hard it started to bleed. I used the side of my hand to wipe the snot coming down my nose.

My sister came running down the stairs and watched the mess I had become and her eyes stiffen. Her body is stiff. Afraid to help.

My mother walked over

“Oh Mi dulce niño.. what happened baby?”

She stroked my back as I crawled up to hug her the cold floor freezing my feet.

“hes gone.. i- I didnt- I couldn't..”

My mother wiped my tears

“Who's gone?”

I went silent.

“A friend.’

I mumbled out.

But I knew, he knew, it was so much more. It meant so much more to me. So why is he gone? Why does he have to leave? Why does it happen to me? Why does it always happen to me!?

“Oh sweetie…” my mother gave me this pitiful look..

“I don't wanna… I don't w- I can't - I - I wanna- I don't wanna-.. I DAMNIT!.. i- mfuc.. i- I can't do this anymore he's gone Mamá.”

I coughed and sucked into air that I couldn't breathe in. I was choking over my own words.

By then I had blacked out. Pure exhaustion, the doctors said. I don't feel exactly real anymore. Every time I look at my fingers and move them. I don't feel them. I feel. I feel as if everything has been destroyed and this is the aftermath.

Now I'm getting dressed. In a black suit with small skinny grey stripes and a purple silk tie. And speak. To people who knew Derek's face.

I'll see Derek's face. He just won't be looking back at me this time.

That's all.

Once my mother dropped me off at the funeral home.

I sat in the stands watching people go look at Derek say their last words and make their speeches.

They spoke of a failure. A drop out. A no future. An expected death.

They didn't.. say one positive thing. I felt frozen.

This is supposed to be Derek's family? Is this what he was shut on? What door did he have to face? A family who was awaiting his failures?

I walked up to the stage and on the stand.

I coughed

“Ahem”

I looked them all in the eyes. I felt so nervous. I felt my eyes water.

“Derek. He was the sweetest boy I must've met. No. The smartest. He was brilliant. A shining star who burned out too quickly for the likes of this world. I wish I could've prevented this. If you could've seen, if I could've met face to face, The real Derek. Perhaps this world wouldn't be all that bad. Perhaps I could accept this easier.”

“And if I'm honest. I may have feelings for that man. He was something out of this world. When I found Derek. I hope it was the real Derek I found. Because I believe it was.”

“And if he is a failure man I must be a wreck. Derek would've done amazing things. No matter what decisions he made. He was destined for greatness. Just not in this life. And I'm sorry. That I ruined that for you Derek.”

“Because. I fell in love with the Derek I met. The real Derek.”

“Not face to face. But in here—” I pointed to my heart

“That's the Derek I met.”

“I'm sure we'll bump shoulders in the next life or maybe I'll see strangers in the city that look like you and turn my head around awaiting your call. Awaiting a face I'll never see. Awaiting a voice I'll never see.”

“being with you. Filled my heart. But it broke when you disappeared. May I say this one last time.”

“I found you!”

…

I felt my eyes watering as I turned to look at the open casket. I placed the mic down and got closer to the casket and analyzed every detail of his face.

My tera dropped right onto his face.

I let out a heart breaking chuckle.. not that I enjoyed this. Just. Now we're both crying.

I'm glad I at least got to experience this with you Derek.

I felt my mouth tighten up.

“The world has no right to your heart.”

“They don't get to know what you said.”

“I hope. You'll wait for me.”

“I love you.”

And I closed the casket.

I got disgusted stares. Blank stares. Scoffs. Laughs. Groans. Foot tapping but I simply walked out the funeral home and called up my mom

“Mamá, ya terminó, ¿puedes venir a recogerme?..”

The end.