Its Me Y'all

"Ever since our storylines intertwined, I cannot stop smiling. You are the best plot twist"

[rorindiel]

Babe ur eyes are like the stars. There’s so damn many of them. Why so many eyes, my sweet eldritch beauty? Wh

[terpsikeraunos]

ancient greek word of the day: χρυσόστομος (chrysostomos), of golden mouth, i.e. dropping words of gold, epith. of orators

[vulcandroid]

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

[roachpatrol]

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

[lilian-cho]

@sineala

[star-lord]

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

[moonsofavalon]

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

[evilminji]

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

[lierdumoa]

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

[adreadfulidea-deactivated202402]

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

[takestothesky]

Peter Parker would totally swing around the city trying to find pokemon

[2000knives]

[dendropsyche-deactivated2022082]

I cut the cake on my baby gender reveal party and the m&m’s are black. “It’s a goth!” we shout in unison. My family is sobbing. Morticia Addams is there,

[redpandamemes]

I̖ ̸̳ͬh̼̦̐aͬ̋́͝v̴̨͖̮ḙ̶͠ ̭̈n̩o͉̘ͫ̍ ̴̩͔̘̟͌̒̆̆ẅ̩̚͟ȉ̢ͪl̀l ̸̢̣ͭ̈́t̴͚͘o͘͡ ͇͝l̺i̶͎͓v̬͟e͓͕ͯ̏ ͕ͥ

[anagram-robot]

‘I will have to live on - Anagram robot 0.6. I find anagrams for stuff. I know I don’t always make sense, but I’m getting better!

[kiwi]

[entropvy]

hmm what to post on tumblor dot com ? 🤔

[entropvy]

THIS 👆👆LIL DUDE RIDIN A DAMN BIRD❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗ 😂😂😂 😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 😭😭LOL!!!

[brisbone]

I just bought plantains at the store and the cashier was like “u know these aren’t bananas right” and I said yes and then she rang them in as Bok Choy.

[fanonical]

hermione: i may be wrong

hermione: but i doubt it

[wellyfullofale]

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

[thequeenofsunflowers-deactivate]

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

[lagonegirl]

me: i really need to talk this out with someone 

my anxiety: ur coming off needy. isolate urself and handle it. all u need is U!

[pon-raul]

this is one of the Russian Chaos Agents tumblr banned lmao

[a-zzurra-deactivated20180518]

hi wlecome to olive garden would you like olive or garden

[a-zzurra-deactivated20180518]

waiter smacking their ass on your table so the dishes rattle: can i interest you in an appetiser? 

you: i’ll have garden

waiter: wrong answer you stupid weaboo bitch. we onlu serve olive and now i have to kill you 

[grizzlee30]

This website is one big philosopher stone and we are all the different souls crying out at once to create confusing statements and posts.

[disruptedoriginal]

This motherfucker was walking around Comic-Con in a hyper-realistic Walter White/Bryan Cranston mask

guess who was underneath this Bryan Cranston mask

fucking Bryan Cranston.

[magic-murder-bag]

Aaron Paul’s face is like a million different cries for help all molded into one expression

[incorrect-overwatch-quotations]

Mercy: If you want healing, I need at least three forms of I.D., your life insurance number, and a high-res photo of your ankle.

Genji: Why the last part?

Mercy: I’ll be totally honest. I don’t need the photo. I just like to see how far I can go before patients notice what I ask for. You’d be surprised. I own at least three human souls.

Submitted by marksider89

[eddiesfear-deactivated20180129]

they’re doing great and deserve to smile

[movedtostansbill]

Who?

[eddiesfear-deactivated20180129]

everyone reading this that’s going through some tough times

[littlemisslez]

RIP Vine †

[perny]

Probably the best vine compilation I’ve seen so far

[ackermom]

julius caesar’s assassination was the last time everyone in a group project did their part

[hhelenoftroy]

apart from the fact that 60 people agreed to stab him and he only had 23 stab wounds

[vaeveritas-deactivated20180504]

Sounds about right

[charliecoxbf]

catch me in ancient rome stabbing julius caesar 23 times and bitching about having to do everything myself while the 59 assholes who should be helping me are out having fun snorting marijuana out of caligula’s bootyhole or whatever it is young people do nowadays