Captain.*

Commander jake english otherwise known as suburban dad wearing socks with sandals and bermuda shorts or captain america at your american (or other) service. [ Dep. Jake English as Captain America for greasemonkeyed's Timeline. ]

[atern-deactivated20180505]

[iwanderedon]

how to have soft hair: so you know the part of the shower you spend staring into the indeterminable void, so far gone into nothingness that you almost expect it to reply, fully aware of the improbability of our continued existence, dazzled and terrified by the otherworldly creatures moving in a pane beyond ours, wondering if you’re imagining the black claws closing in around you? you put the conditioner in your hair before that

[keptain-blog]

@greasemonkeyed

[tobi-remade-blog]

me during sex: can we stop for a sec i need a glass of water

[tobi-remade-blog]

me: comes back 20 minutes later with a Slurpee

[yarost-blog1]

:c I slept in and now I get no burger 

Captain America ate my burger and stole my arm. 

[yarost-blog1]

I can say things like that because Jake isn’t online and probably will never again get online as he cannot figure out his smart phone. 

[keptain-blog]

I think the phrase goes.. @ me next time.

[victorious]

[isilence-blog1]

relationship goal: a relationship

[keptain-blog]

Bucky is several sad ghosts in a trench coat.

[teenagecrush]

[midchilda-deactivated20161022]

[keptain-blog]

I’ve placed a very small pumpkin in the bedroom somewhere. I’m certain dirk will never find it because i am 1 a very good hider 2 very clever and 3 very confident that i am a good hider and very clever.

[blastedintheass]

[thoughts-memories]

[astraera]

@prcserpina

[gif87a-com]

[997]

i hate this website

[frogfamiliar]

*blows a kiss to the swimming pool* for barb

[widowsblte-blog]

What I Might Suggest For The Sake Of Entertainment Is That Since He Is So Pleased With The Concept Of Either Hacking Or Encouraging Others To Hack His Political Opponents And Given Your Own Skill In The Area Devote Some Time To Digging Up The Skeletons In His Own Closet And Publicly Disclose Them 

[keptain-blog]

Are we doxxing donald trump?

[widowsblte-blog]

Jake You Do Realize That Your Tag Could Fit In Easily With Those Statements Correct

[keptain-blog]

That was the point. :-)