tumpah ruah @keranpenat - Tumblr Blog

It's like a muscle. If you keep showing up, keep practicing, and don't let discomfort deter you, over time those initial actsof courage become less daunting, and you find yourself doing bigger and braver things… with less effort than you expected

Mental dan spiritual berada pada kondisi yang amat mengkhawatirkan

How to stop worrying to much?

A proper worries should go to something that you can control. Then, you act based on those things. You should not be worried by things that you cannot control

“Roger, in any given situation, there’s nearly always a right thing to do; just think about it carefully, whatever it may be, by all means consider all points of view, then decide for yourself what the right thing to do is and just do it.”

Dont you dare losing hope

Fungsional

I think Dota is literally killing me

I must make time for remembering about death once a day

What should I do if someday I find out that I have not become a good parent for my children?

No matter what the results was, i have always got anxious after games of dota

The first step to be the person that I want to be is to KNOW what kind of person that man is. Break it down!

Harus tau, harus bisa

Harus cari tau, harus belajar

Entah sudah berapa lama

Aku berusaha membalas tatapan

Sosok yang berdiri di balik cermin

What keeps you alive is the sense of acomplishement. And your game do the exact opposite of it

Why is it so hard to be a man that i would proud to be

The man that i am okay to live with for the rest of my life

And why is it so easy to repeat those mistakes that i have tried to bury my whole life

You thought you were just gonna lay down

And it all would go away after you woke up

Sometimes it did

Sometimes it did not

I quit at the beginning of 2012. Before that I was constantly trying to cure my anxiety. I spent 2 years in therapy and was constantly trying to restructure my thoughts, but there were times, especially around girls i didn’t know, where I would get these panic attacks. It wasn’t even my thought process; it was just an automatic. Since quitting, that has completely gone away. I have no more social anxiety. I’m not depressed anymore because of that, and many people, including my family, have commented on how I am not so shut in and irritable all the time. This lack of panic attacks could not be a placebo. There are times when I think I’m gonna have one and I just don’t. It’s not a confidence thing, it’s a change in brain chemistry.

It took time. I was still getting some panic attacks around day 64. There were also times during my reboot where i felt like I got worse socially. I felt a lot more confident, but was all of a sudden was socially clueless.What happened with me was I felt things would all come to me way to naturally, when instead, i now realize I still have to try and put forth an effort. I was sitting there and just thought that I would magically start being fun and social. I realize now this was wrong.

I can also say for sure that it was when i started watching a lot of porn around age 15 that things really started to take a turn for the worse. I was a promising athlete who could have been a really great player, but i basically lost my drive to improve and stopped practicing everyday. After quitting, I regained that drive and passion to play. I hate the fact that its too late to make a college career out of it.

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