Life could be a dream

if i look back, i am lost
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we're not kids anymore.
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@kerfuffleddingus
Life could be a dream
Something neuroscience-y that helps with prose: attention is selective. A character will not notice everything in a room. They will notice what matters to their goal, fear, desire, training, wound, or obsession. A jealous character notices hands. a hungry character notices food. A soldier notices exits. A lonely character notices pairs. Description becomes character when attention has a bias.
Adding this from the comments...
Two Bugs.
Bug to bug communication
I've had an idea for a while now of a Pokemon AU for Slay the Princess, and playing Champions has inspired me enough to write it all down. Here's what I've got: The champion of the region, a powerful Trainer known as "The Princess", is infamous for her crushing battle style; she's an overwhelming force who throws something new at every challenger who steps up to her. Hardly anyone can climb to her level, which means she doesn't have many people she's close with, just her cherished Pokemon - and her self-appointed "manager", who insists upon trying to regulate the way she battles on the grounds that it's "dangerous" to her challengers.
One night, in a bout of frustration, she sneaks out in disguise and wanders the city, eventually finding her way to the entrance of an underground battle club. After the bouncer starts a battle to "prove she belongs here" (and promptly loses), she enters to see a furious double-battle in the central arena, with one of the combatants being an unusual bird-keeper.
"Quiet", as this mysterious Trainer has been dubbed, is a tall gangly man(?) whose feathery black hair is long enough to obscure most of the rest of their body, lugging around a broken birdcage and followed around by WAY too many bird Pokemon (which they can be seen talking with sometimes). Princess sees in them something she's never seen in another person, and she endeavors to visit the club regularly to find out more about them.
As for the teams themselves:
Damsel the Sylveon and Prisoner the Umbreon are a pair of sisters and some of Princess' first Pokemon, caught when they were only Eevees. Damsel is more of a supporter with moves like Charm and Helping Hand, while Prisoner is an extremely patient staller with Toxic, Moonlight, and Reflect - although her Foul Play packs a serious punch.
Adversary, a Machoke who kept the tail she had as a Machop, and Tower, an Alpha Hatterene, are constantly at odds with each other.
Witch, a Weavile with a few missing feathers and a few sharpened icicles tucked away, and Beast, a Pyroar who's slightly skinnier than average
Nightmare, a Banette with a porcelain mask sewn onto her rag-doll body. She's capable of Mega Evolving, which cracks the mask open at the mouth to spray shadowy attacks from its unhinged "jaw".
Spectre, a Froslass trailing white mist, can also Mega Evolve. The way she battles can vary from "teasing and evasive, blinking in and out of visibility" to "gleefully frenzied, harrying opponents under cover of a conjured snowstorm".
Stranger is a Vanilluxe with five heads instead of the usual two, always tipping and wobbling to avoid losing their balance. They don't do a lot of direct battling, often there to summon snow and spray concealing mists to support their Ice-type allies.
Razor is a... very strange Bisharp. Not only can she use Autotomize (a move her species doesn't ordinarily learn) to unfold into an alternate form with flimsy defenses and terrifying speed, but her mouth sits on top of her head instead of on her face, full of iron teeth.
A cracked, clouded Lampent and an ash-stained Frillish, both named "Grey", don't seem like much at first. But their seeming frailty belies a pair of deadly traps, using Fire Spin and Whirlpool to lock foes in place for some of the deadlier Pokemon.
Heather is a Clefable with tired eyes, drooping wings, and a peculiarly jagged shadow that appears to move on its own sometimes. She can be seen staring at it forlornly on the wall, taking its hand in her own, or - once in a blue moon - dancing with it in a slow waltz.
Cage is a Dhelmise with a crab trap instead of an anchor dangling at the end of their chain - containing a sleepy-eyed Tangela with extraordinarily long vines. Their equivalent of Anchor Shot uses those vines instead of a typical Dhelmise's chains, and has the health-draining effect of a Leech Seed.
Thorn is something of a rebel, eschewing the mask and trick-flower typical to any other Meowscarada in favor of a thorny whip - a straightforward and versatile weapon, but not without its tricks. She is still a Dark-type, after all.
Den doesn't see much battle, preferring to stay by Princess' side or in her room. She's a bizarre amalgam of several different beasts, without a defined species or even a definitive type.
Wraith is a Cofagrigus with a fractured shell, its top and bottom halves connected by a shadowy chain that resembles a human spine. Her shadowy hands are skeletal and sharp-fingered, and her manic grin has a few too many teeth.
Princess the Mismagius and Dragon the Honchkrow are a bonded pair, so tightly connected that a discerning eye can see feathers outlined on the hem of Princess' "dress" and black smoke trailing behind Dragon as he flies. They seem to share type affinities as well, with her Dark Pulses and his Shadow Balls packing a little more power.
Wild is a Trevenant, and she's more alive than a typical Ghost-type. Her branches are lush and verdant with flowers growing between her horns (visited by the occasional Bug-type Pokemon), and a sprawling network of roots underneath the Pokemon League's building means that her healing moves - Ingrain, Horn Leech, and Synthesis - are considerably more potent.
Fury is a ferocious Hydreigon with a few abnormalities: stretched skin between her wings and necks, teeth in her hand-mouths, and patches of missing fur or skin.
Needle is an especially powerful Garchomp, looking as though she's halfway to Mega Evolution between her enlarged size, the horns on her head, and the line of sharp spines trailing down her back. All that strength, however, comes at the cost of some of the species' trademark speed.
Clarity doesn't have the jagged grin you'd expect of a Spiritomb, or even a defined face at all - just a swirl of purplish smoke circling the gaping hole in her Keystone.
There's an extra Pokemon that only the Princess herself knows about, too: a glassy orb filled with stars that look suspiciously like eyes, housing a sleeping god waiting for its moment to awaken...
Quiet has an unusual flock of their own, either kept in the Pokeballs at their belt or perched somewhere nearby: a plucky Corvisquire who's a little naive, a graceful Quaxwell that treats every battle like a dance, a scowling Dartrix who tends to get lost in strategizing, a tenacious Combusken constantly charging into battle, an irritable Wattrel who can't seem to stop shocking himself, a swift-footed Archen always on the move, a skittish Natu who seems to see things none of the others do, a playful Chatot who uses his mimicry to play pranks, an Eiscue who treats every fight like it's already been lost but can nonetheless take a lot of hits, a Murkrow who watches from the outside of a group with a detached amusement, and a clever Bombirdier who spends most of his time circling overhead waiting for a moment to strike.
My local animal shelter (BARCS) just got an influx of 369 birds from a shitass pet store, which is a truly terrifying number of parrots to have inside a building. BUT: there's a donation drive going on right now where you can vote for a pet's face to go on a beer can for their annual BARCStoberfest. Every single vote is a dollar towards animal rescue!!!
You can vote for your favorites such as Tylenol, El Eiwi Gordito, and Cheese here on their website!
You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.
I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.
Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.
holy shit this person in the notes
spin the wheel to be assigned a mysterious source of income - who will grant you 10k usd every month without fail!!
will you take the money?
yes
no
bald / nuance
āThe Surpriseā From the childrenās book Shining Hours. Illustration attributed to Emil Schmidt, 1878.
I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?
it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction I was looking for.
so my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I had a lot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didnāt fit with the aesthetic. I had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.
this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, youād expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - Iām all for most classic rock, but that wasnāt what the show was supposed to be.
And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just didnāt fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason I kept the show going. Per station rules, I had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before I cut to one I was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listenerās request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, I decided to do a goof. I said:
āand finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.ā
I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, I had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.
And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!
they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call. I had never understood why some people would enjoy trolling random strangers on the internet before, but in that moment, I understood the appeal entirely.
obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Donāt Stop Me Now by Queen David Bowie.
the phone immediately began to ring.
āARE YOU AN IDIOT?ā one of the callers began, āDAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!ā
āI thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?ā I replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure.
I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start.
And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born.
@eduards-stuff I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format I started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.
My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what I was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. I only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while I got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:
me: hi there, youāve got TST-
him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter*
me: hey, is everything o-
him: pfffHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM!
me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.
THIS IS AN OC CHECKPOINT
give me 1 cool fact about your oc RIGHT NOW
UPDATE it doesn't even have to be 'cool', give me a fact about ur oc!!!!
You are now entering Steely Dan Saturday
#0001 - Bulbasaur: The Seed Pokemon
Iām attempting to draw every pokemon, wish me luck Update: I made a quick speedpaint voice over for this piece! Planning to do it with *almost* all the pokepages I do
Something good finally comes from Ohio.
Smash them thangs
Anorith (2021) - PokƩmon Shirts Illustrator: Manami Fuda