I really really like the idea of butch Ilya being so mean about Jane's attempts at femininity. You look stupid in makeup, that dress looks ridiculous on you, no one believes the wholesome good girl act you put on everyone can tell you're a strapslut horny dyke. Just, everyone else in Jane's life saying you're so sweet and respectable and such a good role model for young girls, meanwhile Ilya's like you look dumb in that dress you fucking dyke. And it is such a relief for Jane because someone is finally seeing her and acknowledging her fear that she's failing at all of this and giving her permission to give up on it
like yes ok maybe this is bad but the idea that there is something fundamental in you that is bad at being a girl and would be good at being a dude is hot. the idea that someone can look right through you and see the truth and the truth is that you're a butch boy that needs to suck strap to live and would look so much hotter with short hair. like yes acceptance for the sake of acceptance is cool but what if someone saw you and said i see the real you and the real you is better than anything else you could try to be. ilya looking at jane and knowing what she needs to hear is: you're failing at being a girl and you should just give up because you would be so good at being a boy - specifically my boy.
actually another thing. as discussed in the forcemasc intellectual circles, and butch ilya’s meanness isn’t just some ‘I see what you need and I’m giving it to you,’ not entirely. because part of jane’s shame is that she does on some level feel disgust towards female masculinity. she will get over it but at first there is a feeling of: ‘well I’m not some dyke like you, I can still do the performance’ between them. So part of Ilya’s meanness, as well as being for Jane’s benefit, is saying ‘fuck you, you’re the same as me.’
