:(:

[realbiggay]

my interests include rough sex and compassion for animals

[uglyundergarments]

rupi kaur

[inmywilderness]

“I called him the name that I called you And forgot for a second that you were gone And that we were bad for each other I’m wearing your shirt and talking to him And it still smells like you And I don’t know if I’m still in love with you or newly in love with him (It’s probably a little of both) All I know is that it hurts.”

— My heart, a dichotomy

[wolkenleere]

“Maybe this is selfish, but I don’t want you to forget me. I want to linger in your memory. I want you to think of me when you’re driving down the street with some other girl in your passenger seat. I want you to wish I was there because she’s not singing and she’s not taking pictures of you. I want you to think of me when you finally sit down and have a home cooked meal instead of something through the drive through. I want you to think of me every time it rains. Every time you choose water over soda or coffee. Every time you make love. Maybe that’s asking for too much but i hope it drives you crazy, how you can’t get me out of your memory. I hope you wish you never let me go. Who am I kidding. I know you will. I know you already do. Because I was the best goddamned thing that ever happened to you.”

— Letters to T.J.

[writingsaboutaheartworm]

I hate how my body still betrays me.

How every fiber of my being still yearns for your touch.

Because it knows that one embrace would be enough to comfort this aching that has found its home in my chest.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“It’s important that you keep your feelings and your self worth in different places because when feelings get hurt it shouldn’t change how you view yourself.”

— kushandwizdom

[thewanderingmillennial]

I’ll always be waiting.

[kxssgirly]

Think about it, asshole.

[thewanderingmillennial]

Exactly.

[you-are-loved-you-are-enough]

cry about it, look hot and move on. ♡

[kilobby]

I don’t know how I got here.

[kilobby]

“What happened to you was not your fault. Hannah, if my daughter were older, I would tell her the same thing – that men, they can control themselves. Everybody can. Everybody acts like consent is this complicated thing, but it’s not, all right? Everybody knows whether they have it or not, and it was that boys job to know.

[traumasurvivors]

Just an important message for my fellow trauma survivors:

What happened to you wasn’t fair. Don’t downplay it, or tell yourself that other people have it worse. The bottom line is that it should NEVER have happened. What you feel about it is real and valid. It might not be okay right now, but one day it will be. Thank you for surviving. I’m so glad you’re here. 

[xxskinandbonesxxx-deactivated20]

Rape Culture

Can we talk about how society makes you think that unless you were violently raped, and screaming no, it doesn’t count? It makes feel like unwanted experiences in my life don’t count because I wasn’t raped “enough”....

[kilobby]

Or you feel the need to “rate your rape”

[traumasurvivors]

Don’t Tell Me I’m Lucky

I remember watching an episode of Criminal Minds. There was a girl who had been raped. One of the techs made a comment about how the girl was lucky. Her injuries were minor.

One of the main characters retorted back, “Do me a favour. Don’t tell her that she’s lucky.”

And that’s just it. We shouldn’t be pressured into being grateful we’ve survived our abuse. We shouldn’t have to be grateful they let us live, or our injuries were “relatively minor.” We shouldn’t have to be grateful he used a condom. We shouldn’t be told we’re lucky because “at least he didn’t rape you.” Or any number of circumstances.

There is no “lucky.” And pushing this on survivors, in some ways, invalidates us. The truth is, it should have never happened to you. To us. It was awful and we didn’t deserve it.

Whether you were raped, abused, or sexually assaulted in any way. Whatever the circumstances, you don’t have to listen when people tell you that you’re lucky. What they should be saying to you is “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You didn’t deserve it. And you are valid.”

You don’t need to be thankful your trauma wasn’t worse. You don’t need to compare what you went through to someone else.

Was I lucky when I spent hours sobbing on my bathroom floor after he’d raped me? After all, he left very little bruising.

Nobody can compare emotional scars, and no one should. Because that’s where it hits most people the most. I believe him being more violent wouldn’t have changed how I felt emotionally. After all, the pain came from the violation. He’d taken my body and made it his.

Trust me when I tell you that the majority of us already beat ourselves up inside. Telling ourselves that it could have been worse. That we don’t have a right to feel the way we feel, because there are people surviving that had it so much worse than we did.

We already invalidate ourselves, and don’t need additional invalidation. I understand that, for the most part, people say this to try and get us to look on the bright side. And I don’t believe that should be pushed on us. It should be up to us when and if we have to see a bright side.

When someone comes to you, please do us all a favour, and don’t tell them that they’re lucky it wasn’t worse.

[traumasurvivors]

Sometimes bad or unhealthy coping mechanisms save us. While healthier ones are ideal, they aren’t always what got us through.

You did what you had to do to survive. Please forgive yourself for it.

[painpoetry]