In a lot of ways I'm sheltered from a lot of larger transmasc issues due to being so androgynous and not exactly like- full 100% man, but it sucks that you're expected to give up so many elements of community just because you're a guy.
You go from being someone other queer people don't percieve as inherently threatening to somone who can't be trusted once you pass the threshold of "too masc", you're expected to give up so many elements and full out reject things attached to feminity to prove you're actually a guy and not just faking to somehow "escape" the misogyny that's been plaguing you your entire life, even when you do get to try and join gay spaces, you're seen as trying too hard or faking or just a girl pretending to be a man, because frankly, gay male spaces can be incredibly exclusionary, and you're expected to stay out of the lesbian spaces you've found community in for years because you're not a woman anymore and are now seen as an intruder, even when your body still reads as feminine enough that lesbians are one of the only people you know won't outright reject you for having tits.
It's isolating. It's all of the downsides of the patriarchy without the privilege, and even when you pass enough to have it, that "privilege" isn't something you want. Who actually wants to be a part of a group of people subjugating others? What decent person really wants to join a system that's hurt you and your friends you're entire life? What's even left to the american idea of masculinity when you strip it of everything that hurts yourself and others?
I'm not surprised so many trans dudes get into detrans as a kink, even if I hate it myself, because being society's idea of a man is willingly putting yourself into an even more restrictive cage for the sake of being a man.
