Korvus

Winchester Wild 22 Stoned Single

[kingkorvusarchive]

Do What You Can To Stay Sane...ish

Description: When Dean was a young 21 year old, he discovered the most wonderful medication. It made him feel relaxed, like the weight of the literal world wasn't on his shoulders. At least for a little while.

"What's that?" Dean asked Lee, who had just taken a large puff off a joint he rolled. "Weed." Lee simply replied, blowing the smoke in the opposite direction of Dean. "It's like a cig but way better." "Dude!" Dean panicked for a moment, "Put that out! My dad could catch us." "Relax." Lee soothed, patting Dean's cheek gently, "Why the hell else would I ask you to take a walk in the middle of the night?"

That's true. Lee did wake Dean up super early in the morning, asking if they could go on a walk. Even though Dean had protested for a minute, Lee was able to convince him to go with after promising to do the coffee run in the morning.

After they had moped through a small, wooded area for a while, they decided the clearing that faced the empty meadow was a good enough spot to stop and sit for awhile. They usually did this extra early in the morning, like 3 to 4 in the AM. It was the only time they could be alone. Talking about whatever they want without John having something to say. It was the only time they really felt like they could actually be themselves.

Dean watches as Lee brings the joint to his lips, wrapping them around the filter, taking a long, deep draw from it. The ember from the end illuminated the blue of Lee's eyes, though it was so dark. Lee rolled his eyes towards Dean, catching him admiring. Dean quickly looked the opposite direction, the blush creeping up on his cheeks slowly.

"You wanna try?" Lee asked, tapping Dean's knee with the same hand holding the joint.

Dean looked down at the joint, suddenly becoming a deer in headlights. He had never really tried anything other than cigarettes and beer with his dad.

"Here." Lee said, taking the joint back and turning his whole body towards Dean. "How about I just blow the smoke at you for starters, just so you can smell it." Dean's eyes were shiny as he nodded slowly. "Okay, here we go."

Lee took a long drag, his lungs filling to the brim with harsh smoke. He held it for a moment, observing Dean to be sure that he actually wanted this. He gave Dean a look to confirm this. Dean just nodded again, feeling words get stuck in his throat.

Lee leaned forward, making the already small distance between them even smaller. Dean swallowed, the words that were caught going down his throat along with the excess spit. Lee nodded as he blew the smoke over Dean's face, slowly.

Dean let the smoke seep into him, just taking in the scent. He didn't really like it. "It smells like someone ran over a skunk." he said, waving the smoke away from his face. "But... it's not the worst thing I've smelled. So, I guess, that's cool." Lee chuckled and shook his head, "Yeah. I don't love the smell a whole lot either. But, I think you should keep going. Maybe it would help you chill out after a hunt." "What do you mean?" Dean asked. "I mean, after a hunt, when your adrenaline is pumping and you're on edge for the rest of the night. Always watching for the next monster before you end up passing out from the crash." Lee animates, "Especially you, man. You're always so jazzed after a hunt." Lee nudges Deans shoulder. "Well excuse me for being a little shaken up from almost dying on a daily basis." Dean said, huffing out a breath. "That's exactly what I'm talking about, right there." Lee says, "Just keep going. If you start smoking it, and absolutely hate the way it makes you feel, I'll even quit myself."

For some reason, that sentence made Dean's heart flutter. His best friend was willing to give up something that really seemed to be helping him, just because Dean might not like it. It was so thoughtful it made Dean's stomach turn.

"What do I do?" Dean asked, reaching his fingers out for the joint. "I mean, obviously it's like a cigarette. But, like, do I do anything special with it?" "Nope. Just inhale and exhale. You can keep the smoke in your mouth first since its your first time. " Lee winked, handing the joint to Dean.

When their fingers brushed, Dean swore he felt a wave of electricity flow throughout his entire body. He brought the joint to his lips, taking in the smell again, not minding it as much as before. He took a long drag, taking an extra sip of air to guide the smoke to his lungs. He could feel the smoke twirling around his lungs, some of it sitting at the very bottom burning in his chest.

He slowly blew out the smoke, watching it float off into the night sky. The affects of the marijuana hit Dean immediately, his body becoming more relaxed and his mind clearing of the bloody images of torn apart humans.

"Woah." Dean said, looking at the little joint in his hand. "Right? Fells amazing , doesn't it?" Lee said, reaching his hand for the joint again. "Yeah. It does." Dean said, handing the weed back.

They sat in silence for a while, just passing the joint back and forth until it was nothing more than just the roach. By now, Dean was stoned. His tolerance wasn't as high (haha) as Lee's.

"Dude, your eyes are red as fuck." Lee laughed at Dean, leaning into Dean's side. "Shut up. No they aren't." Dean laughed, leaning his body weight on Lee's. "Sure, whatever you say." Lee said, sitting up again.

Dean and Lee were sitting close to each other. So close that their shoulders were touching when Lee was sitting up. It wasn't how they had started this trip though. When they had first sat down, they were sat at a reasonable distance. Far enough that they had their own spaces but close enough to hear each other talk. As the night went on, they had started drifting closer to each other. Their shoulders were touching and their conversation could be a whisper if they wanted.

"Shit... I didn't bring my bag." Lee said, tossing the dead joint into the distance. "I could go grab it." Dean said, already starting to stand before Lee grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. "Don't bother. Your dad will definitely catch us if you try to open the car." Lee said, leaning against Dean again. "You good? You're kind of shaking." Dean asked. "Oh yeah. Just a little chilly is all." Lee said, shrugging his shoulders.

Dean scoffed, shaking his head. He had told Lee to grab a jacket before they headed out but Lee said he wouldn't need it. So, Dean took off his leather jacket and draped it over the both of them.

"There. That should be better." Dean said. He was glad it was dark so that Lee couldn't see the red blush on his cheeks. The electricity that Dean felt earlier was even more noticeable to him now, he wasn't sure if it was because of the way they were sitting or if it was the weed, but Dean didn't mind it.

"Hey, Dean. Can I ask you something?" Lee abruptly blurts, not moving his head or body to look at Dean. "Have you..." Lee stopped, unsure if he should finish. "Actually, never mind." "Well, now you have to ask. Or else I'm going to bug you about it for the next few hunts." Dean said, moving his shoulder a bit to make Lee's head bounce. Lee laughed, "Okay fine. But you have to promise me you won't be all weird after I ask." "Done deal. Not much that can drive me away." Dean said without hesitation. Lee is his best friend. Of course he wasn't going to judge him for anything he could do or say. "Have you..." Lee started again, pausing to take a deep breath, "Have you ever felt the same way about a guy the way you do a girl?" Dean didn't answer for a moment, a little taken aback from this specific question. "Never mind. Don't answer that." Lee interrupted, pushing Dean's leather jack off of himself. "What? Where are you going?" Dean asked, grabbing Lee's wrist before he could even move. "I was just thinking is all." he pulled Lee back to his spot and covered him again.

"I'll admit. There were a few times that I thought about it. Ya know? What would it be like to be with a guy? Could that even be possible? Not only in the normal world but in this life as well. I mean, how many gay-" "Or bisexual." Lee interrupted. "Right. Or bisexual hunters do you know of? Or met? Not a lot. I'm sure there are some out there..." Dean said, staring up at the canopy of branches above them. "Plus, my dad would never..." "I know." Lee said, relaxing his body against Dean again. "Can I ask why you wanted to know?" Dean questioned, looking down at Lee. His floppy brown hair was slightly covering his eyes, hiding the sky blue that Dean liked about them. "I've just been thinking about it is all." Lee said. But something in his tone that made Dean doubt him and Lee knew that. "That's bullshit." Dean called out immediately. "I know." Lee admitted. "But I just don't think I'm ready to talk about this anymore right now." " Alright. I won't push any more." Dean said "But I just want you to know that I wouldn't judge you for anything. As long as you're not dead, I couldn't less about who you think is hot or who you want to screw." "Thanks, Dean." Lee said.

They never talked about it again after that. Mostly because John, Dean, and Lee parted ways. There was a hunt in Arizona that really messed Lee up, so he decided to leave. Dean never heard from him after that.

He did continue to smoke however. When John found out, he was furious and demanded that he quit. But Dean, for once in his life, disobeyed a direct order from his father.

He realized after that night that it made him feel a little less shitty. It made him feel less shitty physically. It took away the ache that settled in his knees at a young age from the miles ran on hard pavement. It took away the headaches that he'd get frequently from countless concussions. It soothed the constant pain in his back from carry too much for too long. It also made him feel less shitty mentally. When he smoked, he felt like could actually focus on reading the lore for long periods. He could actually think about what he was going to say before he says it. It makes the raging fire of anger in his chest into a controlled campfire.

On nights it was hard to sleep, he opted for a walk in the near wooded area around the bunker with a joint to himself. He didn't like smoking inside the Bunker, being considerate of Cas and Sam. But also because he didn't like the way the smell would linger for days at a time. The same reason he didn't smoke in his precious car.

He'd walk, lighting the joint at the start of his journey. He always followed the same path. So much so that there was a small trail starting to wear it's way into the dirt, just wide enough for one person. From there he would walk into the woods, sticking close to the small brook. He would take long drags, watching the smoke dance in the air when he exhaled. Sometimes he would stop and stare at the stars and laugh. "Imagine that. The Sword of Michael; stoned." he'd say, finding the irony a little too funny.

There was a tree that Dean carved his initials into not too long after they had found the Bunker. He decided to make that his designated smoking spot, liking the way it faced an empty meadow.

[thefriendlypigeon]

Even the most badass hunter needs a nap sometimes 😴

I just wanted to draw soft summer vibes, since it's rainy and depressing in my area lmao.

Cheers!💚💛🌞

Prints available here!

👉COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN👈

[my social media links]

[theladydrgn]

I love the little detail thay Crowley is happiest when he has A Task. Just look how bored and depressed he is now that Hell isn't telling him what to dk

Compared to how delighted and exited he was when Aziraphale said they were going to be meddling with Nina and Maggie. He's down right giddy!

This demon is like a border collie. Give him things to do or he'll become depressed af or he'll find things to do. And you really don't want him making his own touble 😂

[frankencanon]

I'm still reeling from Good Omens 2 — and I'm not talking about the cliffhanger.

No, I'm talking about the plot.

The whole "Something Terrible is Going to Happen" thing with a Naked Amnesiac Gabriel in the beginning made it seem like this season was going to go the same route as season 1 did — Armageddon, take 2.

And then when the season ended I was just so distracted by the kiss and the cliffhanger that it never really processed for me that this entire season was...

Well.

Whereas season 1 was all about stopping the Apocalypse, season 2 was entirely centered around romance, and only romance.

From what I can recall, there were three main storylines driving the plot in season 2:

1.) Maggie and Nina's love story.

2.) Gabriel and Beelzebub's love story.

3.) Crowley and Aziraphale's love story.

Even if it didn't seem that way at first, it was revealed in the end that everything that had occurred had to do with someone's love story.

Naked amnesiac Gabriel showing up at the bookstore? That only happened because he fell in love with Beelzebub and got himself fired, then chose to run away before they could steal his memories of falling in love with them.

This whole season was about trying to find out what happened to Gabriel (love, love is what happened), trying to get Nina to fall in love with Maggie, and Crowley coming to terms with the fact that he is in love with Aziraphale, and then eventually working up the courage to act on that love.

And that's not even mentioning the minisodes — which were basically telling us the story of how Crowley and Aziraphale fell in love!

This entire season was centered around romance, and only romance!

The second season of Good Omens was literally a love story. I can't believe it — can you?!

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU so much, Mr. Neil Gaiman!

Never before would I have guessed that season 2 would end up like this... I know we're all sad about how things left off with Crowley and Aziraphale, but there's not nearly enough appreciation going around for how we were even able to get to that point in the first place!

Everyone say,

"THANK YOU, NEIL GAIMAN!"

And let's not forget David Tennant (Crowley) and Michael Sheen (Aziraphale) who played these hopelessly in love idiots so well!

[consultingfujoshi]

I don't know how to explain to some people that their theories about how aziraphale is being mind controlled or how that's not really them or that this is all a big elaborate trick robs the narrative of literally all its emotional impact and makes the slow build this season worked so hard to establish completely pointless if the interpersonal conflict is artificial lmao. they need to have done this themselves, aziraphale needs to have made that decision with his whole brain and his whole chest, crowley needs to have been the one to push aziraphale that final inch back towards heaven, or there is absolutely no tension or stakes going into season 3. you all realise this right. I understand nuance and complicated character drama is uncomfortable when it doesn't get resolved immediately but some of you are so determined to absolve aziraphale (and by extension crowley) of any wrongdoing or guilt that you're literally robbing them of everything that makes them interesting; namely that they are totally fucked up and they did this to themselves. and rip if that's you I guess but personally I like it when my favourite characters are irrevocably damaged emotionally and incapable of accepting a shred of happiness into their lives. that south downs cottage isn't going to be hard-fought and sorely won all by itself <3

[assiraphales]

love when something is trending bc all u have to do is post the bare minimum vague ass sentence like “crowley and aziraphale star crossed themselves” and ppl r like. u know what. reblogged.

[luppiart]

Hihi haha hoho huhu *im insane

[saryasy]

I would not change it each time

[killrisma]

hahaha i’m not okay :)

[girlcomputers]

I danced with you in a nightmare

I was dragging you across the floor

[mediacircuspod]

This scene was absolutely beautiful BUT it’s also the crux of the issue. You guys this is where the problems start. Because—because Crowley’s already cast out, he finds COMFORT in the idea that they are lonely together. “As far as he can” becoming “as far as they can” is an END to his complete “otherness” and something to appreciate, to covet, and to find solace in. He’s finally not alone.

But—and this is important.

Aziraphale does NOT feel that. He can’t.

This moment is completely and utterly devastating for Zira. He finds out he’s not damned and sure, he’s relieved. But he’s no longer “an Angel” in the way that he’s learned is right. He’s now unchangeably and forever; less holy—a concept that is dearly important to his identity. “[Going] along with heaven as far as he can” is a FAILING on his part. Not heaven’s(at least to him). There is no solace or comfort—he finds existence like that—just the two of them—achingly LONELY. And that’s just how his perspective demands to be taken. It’s the only perspective he is capable of in that moment AND after it, too.

Take into account Crowley has went from having no one AT ALL to having SOMEONE. And he puts EVERYTHING he has into it. This is not good. It’s unfair to Aziraphale. And it’s unfair to himself. On the opposite side, you have Aziraphale. Who has just went from having the ENTIRE HEAVENLY HOST, to having this SINGLE demon— who, one minute ago, Aziraphale thought would be dragging him off to hell.

And the part that aches is that this perspective hasn’t changed. Aziraphale feels like his existence is lacking because he wants so badly to be GOOD. And good is Holy. Good is heavenly. He’s the problem for having morals that are misaligned.

Spoilers for the last episode:

Aziraphale has just been given the validation that he is not only GOOD but the most HEAVENLY Angel there is, the Supreme Archangel, even. And if heavens morals are now HIS morals, then that’s EVERY PROBLEM SOLVED. With a bow even, because Crowley’s basically on heavens side anyway, he’s GOOD, isn’t he? He’s been good this whole time, so why wouldn’t heaven want him back? Reinstating him as Angel would fix everything. They can be together, and they can be good, and they can be HOLY. All Aziraphale’s conflicting emotions about loving Crowley can be packed away because Crowley will be perfect again—and surely Crowley wants to be perfect—wants to be forgiven.(sorry everyone, that hurt me too, oof) Aziraphale is SHOCKED by Crowley’s refusal. He’s devastated that his version of perfect is treated as something naive and distasteful.

Crowley’s devastated too. He’s just lost “their side”. A concept that for 5000+ years has been THE ONLY THING he puts love into besides his car and perhaps his plants(And humanity, but he’ll never admit to that—I’m looking at the “No more dying” scene). Crowley is constantly being devastated by Aziraphale. He’s “too fast”, he’s too evil, he’s too good sometimes. Crowley has always been TOO MUCH. But this is different because for four years, he’s had “them”(on their own side) without the hiding, and without the denial and without Aziraphale constantly putting former jobs between them. PLUS he has a mountain of trauma centered around the concept of “forgiveness”, so that’s not great considering Aziraphale’s last words to him(THAT HE HASNT SAID ALL SEASON EVEN WHEN HE MADE CROWLEY APOLOGIZE IN THE FIRST EPISODE, AHHHHH). He’s losing everything and he’s desperate: Why isn’t he enough, hasn’t he been enough these last 4 years? Hasn’t HE been enough the last 6000?

Aziraphale has always been enough for Crowley. But being enough for Crowley doesn’t fix how Aziraphale has never been enough for himself, not since Job. He looks at this offer as a chance for HIM to be enough, and for Crowley to be FORGIVEN. Crowley looks at it as a betrayal because it’s Aziraphale saying Crowley ISNT enough, and he NEVER has been.

But that’s not what Aziraphale is saying. He’s saying, “Let me fix it for you”. Crowley is hearing, “Let me fix you for it.” Two completely different and completely horrifying concepts.

And then Crowley needs to say HIS piece(oh my gosh, btw, this was heartbreaking).

“Let’s be together on our terms” is basically what I’ve distilled it down to. But Aziraphale hears, “Let’s run away from our problems”

Aziraphale doesn’t want to run away, and Crowley doesn’t want to change who he is.

They both want to be together so badly but they don’t understand why they each want it so differently. And Aziraphale can’t compromise because he’s brainwashed and LOATHES himself. And Crowley can’t compromise because he’s traumatized and LOVES Aziraphale just as he is. Crowley doesn’t want to be good on heavens terms. He can see Heaven for what it is; “toxic”. He hates heaven not only for what the Host did to him, but for HOW THEY TREATED Aziraphale.

They both don’t understand each other because for all the pleading and presenting and monologuing, they never once in that whole conversation, actually talked.

[darkshrimpemotions]

Why do I think John wasn’t the one who stopped in to check on Sam at Stanford?

[darkshrimpemotions]

#it’s about the fact that dean was lying and making excuses for john before sam even had a chance to be mad in ‘bad boys’ #it’s about him laughing about the stuff that’s kind of sad and messed up #it’s about him covering for john in ‘a very supernatural christmas’ #it was about not wanting sam to hate john because then maybe he wouldn’t leave again

@redwena These tags are 100% correct it IS about that. It actually seems more in-character for Dean to lie/bend the truth to make John look better than it seems in-character for John to have gone to Stanford to check on Sam. It also seems more in-character for Dean to check up on him periodically than for John to have done it, period.

Hell, we know in canon Dean kept in touch with Sam at least part of the way through school, whereas Sam and John didn’t speak after he left for Stanford. Dean said in the pilot that he hadn’t “bothered” Sam in two years, but Sam was halfway through his last year of undergrad at that point. Which means Dean had kept in some kind of contact with Sam through at least his sophomore year, while John hadn’t even bothered to call or text him since he left.

(We also know that Dean was always trying to keep his family close and Sam was trying desperately to run from his past at that point, so I find it highly likely that the contact stopped because Sam wanted it to, not because Dean wanted it to. Which is not a judgment on Sam! College is like that sometimes, especially if your home life/childhood wasn’t pleasant. But I can totally see Dean resorting to driving up to Stanford and skulking around, checking up on Sam when Sam doesn’t returns his texts/calls for a few days.)

Yeah…yeah Dean lied through his teeth. He was the one who checked up on Sam, and he attributed it to John to make Sam hate their dad less (or possibly to make Sam feel like John cared more than he did…either option is plausible and heartbreaking).

[darkshrimpemotions]

#is there also an element of like…. #dean checking in on sam is basically the same as John doing it in dean’s mind #sam is HIS responsibility so when he checks in on sam #when he does The Thing He’s Born To Do #the credit goes to john #*Dean* is john’s eyes and ears and heart for sam #so of course John doesn’t need to go himself #he has dean to do it! that’s what dean is for! #imagine dean asking John if they should go/if he’s heard from sam #I cannot imagine that going down well #‘he’s your responsibility boy. you were meant to keep him safe. he wouldve been here if you didn’t let him go.’ #ayyyyyy i wanna write this fic #john winchester’s a+ parenting #winchesters #spn meta #tag essay

@bidean-byedean Oh it absolutely is that as well. Dean developed a role instead of a sense of self from a very young age. He was molded to be an extension of his father and fulfill his father’s duties when John neglected to fulfill them. Dean especially at the start of the show is a hollowed out shell filled with John’s purpose and wearing a John costume.

Keep reading

[midnightmadwoman]

This is also a great criticism to levy at Chuck (God) and another way in which he and John mirror each other. The son’s accomplishments are a testament to the father, but all the son’s failings are his alone.

[darkshrimpemotions]

Yes! Absolutely. And all the father’s failings, too!

Like look at Lucifer and Michael. Lucifer, as bad as he was, became that way largely because of the Mark of Cain. Already a symbol of Chuck’s duplicitous and destructive nature, it twisted Lucifer into the worst possible version of himself. But Chuck doesn’t fully take responsibility for this even when he and Lucifer are reconciling. Locking Amara away and creating the Mark was Chuck’s failing. Putting the Mark on his son was Chuck’s failing. Leaving it there even as he saw what it was doing to Lucifer was Chuck’s failing. But he leaves all of that on Lucifer’s shoulders.

On one level it’s about the generational trauma. On another it’s an indictment of the entire concept of God.

This show really textually said

But the fathergod will never acknowledge it.

[deancasforcutie]

"Now you live in a secret bunker with an angel and Lucifer’s kid", AKA queering domesticity par excellence

[pinkdean]

I LOVE when spn just starts making shit up about actual historical figures. Lovecraft opened purgatory. Eliot Ness was a monster hunter. Samuel Colt made a gun to kill the devil.

[pinkdean]

Dean Winchester killed Hitler

[havingrevelations-deactivated20]

shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.

[seasononesam]

I remember this! It’s Fourth of July, 1996.

[weaver-z]

You ask the Spiders how they identify and Hobie immediately goes on a ten minute rant about how labels are a repressive sociological construct he refuses to recognize. Then Gwen's like "Well, uh, I'm a trans girl." and Hobie's like "Fuck yeah you are! Love that for you."