This post and all its points is a mood right now ^^
Exactly, and that’s the central issue here, isn’t it? Because societal guidelines lock masculinity inside a rigid box, and ignorant statements like “Stop making everything gay - can’t they just be friends?!” do perpetuate the Gay Is Not Masculine standard; they continue the repression of emotionality, sensitivity, and tactile nurturing behaviour in men, thus blinding people to the reality that romantic love can blossom between two men (and I think it’s critical to note that the aforementioned traits shouldn’t be considered “feminine” either; feminist theory involves dissociating specific traits from biological sexes that give rise to the gender binary, their associated norms in dominant conventional society, and an overall uneven gender revolution where anything associated to females or “femininity” is culturally devalued e.g. emotional scenes dubbed “chick flick moments”, “you kick like a girl”, “you cry like a girl”…you get the picture. Of course, when one writes meta, binary language regarding Dean’s “masculinity vs femininity” - in that we discuss his “feminine side” - is typically - also unconsciously/consciously - used. Toxic masculinity also shouldn’t be understood as “bad” masculinity but the unhealthiness of Self and Psyche governed by gender constraints; the TM concept warrants super extensive discussion. I personally hope to rectify this and further establish non-binary and non-gendered language; @thedogsled actually has a marvelous piece lined up about this very topic *serves cake* Anyway-)
Again, people are able to observe and feel. In other words, our capacity to categorize and recognize certain social cues is what defines us as Homo sapiens. If you’re in love, you (rapidly or gradually) know, and you’re aware; you start formulating choices and dreams for the future.
For real, we live through labels. Everything’s labelled. Labelling stuff - labelling people - attaches us to identity and who we are as diverse individuals: race, gender, religion, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, fandom communities, countries, neighbourhoods, etc.
Romantic love lives beyond labels.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, once you remove yourself from the chokehold of gender performativity and norm conformity, as Judith Butler says: you really don’t have a gender. It’s merely a social construct.
Dean and Cas don’t have to be gay to be in love, nor do they have to be in love to be gay, nor do they have to have a heterosexual platonic relationship just because they’re two men.
**P.s. obviously, for various (important) purposes, media consumption involves media representation with labels. SPN’s largely complex narrative comprised of Dean’s subtextual - hopefully soon-textual - bisexuality and Dean&Cas romance tropes, mirrors - all the good (and very substantial) storytelling hooha - imo ultimately underlines a romantic endgame between two main leads who simply happen to be men.
Dean and Cas are in love: no rules, no guidelines, no boundaries.
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