my smile is a rifle.

my name's takumi yanagi, and this may or may not be jackass.

[surdmuse-blog]

  < ready to walk; > might as well have a tour, then?

hope, eh…… < mumbles; > there’s something i’ve lost.

< clears throat; > n - no, it’s just that…… i don’t think anyone has those kinds of things regularly. < swallows; > are you sure you’re well?

[kingkryolan]

sure. it'll be a few blocks off. < turns in the opposite direction entirely and heads that way > its kinda fuckin' dismal in here ... i know. < looks to hibiki with an odd expression for a minute; no one's really asked him that before - not in such a context > i don't know about anyone else. but i ... i think i'm fine. death isn't that scary.

[surdmuse-blog]

  ……. i haven’t seen your works, now that i think about it. mind showing me sometime? if you’ve been busying yourself in this city, anyway.

hey, if someone enjoys your art, i’m sure they’ll enjoy you. < fixes glasses; > it’s not like you eat people or anything, so give them some time. < closes eyes, chuckles; >

< eyes open wide, freezes; > and you’re not bothered? at all?

[kingkryolan]

< eyes widen a little > if you wanna see my stuff, sure. i've got sketches and pictures but i've got a few pieces thrown up here and there. 

... < laughs outright > we can only hope. ...

mm, no. should i be?

[surdmuse-blog]

  < sigh; > it’s not like we have a choice anymore.

hmmm….. not a lot of people like you, so you say…. < crosses his arms; > but that’s only people you’ve met in the past. you never know with whoever you’ll meet in the future. your art’s everywhere, there must be someone who wants to meet you.

any question, then? let’s see… < looks up at the ceiling; pointer finger tapping his arm; > …… yanagi-san, what do you usually dream about?

[kingkryolan]

... i don't know about that. i think a lot of people might get a different idea of who i am from my burners. i'm a lot more ... fallible behind the paint veil. i wouldn't want to disappoint.

... sometimes i remember them, sometimes i don't. i ... have dying dreams a lot. drowning, sometimes.

[kingkryolan]

takumi hears the changes in hibiki. his voice drops and he uses male pronouns, yes, but even in his constantly exhausted state he sounds happier about coming into his own.

takumi cut his partner's hair one day, when hibiki said in an angry and odd voice that he'd had enough of it. botan had to fix it, and hibiki ended up in the shower for most of the day because they had cut it dry. takumi likes the shifts, because it doesn't change how hibiki acts. he's just changing how others see him.

botan tells him he's handsome while he blends colors into his jaw and cheekbones, noting happily that, "soon, we won't need to do this". hibiki closes his eyes and feels the love in his chest swell so much he might explode. he's grateful.

when hibiki gets his prescription for testosterone he screams in the car. when botan draws the thick liquid into the needle he shakes, and when he says "ready" he closes his eyes. it plunges into his thigh and the liquid mingles with his muscle. botan puts rubbing alcohol over the pinprick and massages his thigh.

"that went well." he says. takumi watches. "... are you happy?"

"i'm going to cry."

they let him, and they hold him. 

botan insists on taking pictures and videos every day to look back on.

"that way, if you're ever sad, you can look at how far you've come."

[magnuseffects-blog]

missing undies: if found please return.

[magnuseffects-blog]

  juju … ? the hell is ju— ( /ryou can only watch as the graffiti artist rises to his feet and just … leaves without saying a word;  he’s stunned to the extent of remaining in place, turning his head only when he hears footsteps return and quickly snatching the underwear from the other’s hands; a dark hue of red sweeping across his face; ch-che … … you sayin’ it was dirty? ( /when the cloth is in his hands he inspects it like underwear covered in clouds and wings couldn’t possibly belong to the super high school level aviator and he shoves them, embarrassed, into his back pocket; thanks anyways … yanagi - san. 

[kingkryolan]

isn't washing another's clothes when they're borrowed just common courtesy? i mean, i don't know what someone else might have done to them. the person who stole them in the first place could have ... < visibly shudders > used them as a napkin or something. ... ehh, no problem. ...

[kingkryolan]

  you can always go back, if that’s what you wanted. not … fully, because of what you’ve learned since then, but you could stop. … er. skill set? thanks, but i’m sort of seen as a punk. … … what do you mean, give back?

[surdmuse-blog]

is it really that simple? going back.

you’re welcome, and that didn’t stop anyone. < puts both hands in pockets; > be whoever you want to be, really. you’ll find people who’ll stick with you, and that’s good enough for anyone.

< raises eyebrows; > by give back i mean ask you some of my own questions.

[kingkryolan]

simple? in theory, yes. getting there might be difficult. especially here. ... ... < looks off; crosses his arms > ... ... people. i like people; not so sure people like me. a lot of them haven't stuck around. ... ... ask what you want.

[surdmuse-blog]

  i do, i do. i just don’t think i can ever really go back, you know. < sighs; > …. it’s fine. it really is. i just want some rest. < blinks; > that’s not a problem, is it? with your skillset, you can get into any school you like. do whatever you want.

< crosses arms; looks at the sky > that, and i just wanted to get all of this off my chest. < exhales > i’m actually pretty glad you asked, and it’s no big deal, but i expect to you to give back once you’re done with all the questions. < smirks >

[kingkryolan]

you can always go back, if that's what you wanted. not ... fully, because of what you've learned since then, but you could stop. ... er. skill set? thanks, but i'm sort of seen as a punk. ... ... what do you mean, give back?

[surdmuse-blog]

  i’m not saying i hate my job, i just feel that i’m taking on too much……….

… i - i remember someone telling me that i should enjoy youth while it lasts, that i’m taking too much on and because of it, i can’t really call myself a high school student. < blinks; > its a little strange i can’t remember who told me…….

characters i relate to…. < tilts head towards the sky; > i guess those who don’t have their head in the clouds are the ones i tend to like the most. < sighs > i don’t get much of them, but it’s what i enjoy.

< chuckles lightly; > i’ve only ever gotten that question in interviews, but…. < makes eye contact, smiles > i’ve only ever answered it truthfully a few seconds ago.

[kingkryolan]

... do you think what they said is true? i can't say i understand the sentiment. i've never worked a day in my life. ... < meets his eyes and nods; suddenly wishes he had smokes on him > ... ... < fiddles with his hands; takes more interest in them > is that so? is that because i'm not going to publish your answers? ... i really am interviewing you, aren't i, kouta.

[surdmuse-blog]

  mmn………… < deep in thought; > no matter what i do, i just can’t… sleep here either. i thought i’d be ok if i lost all my work, then it’d be back to normal, but……. < mumbles; >

i do, i really do. < rubs eyes > but, even i can’t pick my roles, yanagi-san. there are some roles i like, some i’m indifferent to, some i can’t relate to.

[kingkryolan]

... that's a shame. dreams are usually quite an experience. ... but it must suck, having to adhere to a schedule and all that ... < waves a hand vaguely > noise. ... i don't really watch TV. i'm curious, though. about which characters you do relate to.

[surdmuse-blog]

  yeah, i’m used to it though. it’s not like i haven’t been doing it for years, but…… < counts with his fingers… > a good 8 hour rest would be really great, haha—

< a little iffy about that last statement; ‘is he implying something….’ > um, work. the usual routine. < closes eyes; > you’d think they’d stop with 2 seasons of that one, really…..

[kingkryolan]

... what's stopping you? ... i realize this is a fucked up place, but its not like you have obligations here -- unless i'm assuming wrong. < cants head > ... do you enjoy work? all the characters you voice?

[surdmuse-blog]

kingkryolan replied to your post: … i heard you talk a few days ago but i just now placed your voice.

… i asked someone else, ‘cause i couldn’t place you and it was frustrating.

ah, is that so…. that’s a little flattering though, thank you. < smiles a tiny bit; > i try my best when i’m at work.

< a small yawn escapes from his lips; > e -excuse me, i didn’t get much sleep today……..

[kingkryolan]

sure. < nods and looks away > ... sometimes work's all you got. i get it. ... ... < totally too deep for small talk; returns eye contact > hm. ... something good kept you awake?

[cardiotoniccomatose-blog]

  Whoever designed that machine must have been some dirty ass pervert. …Broken in…..Oh..god.. That’s so fucking nasty are you telling me these things have been used?  [wrinkles her nose in disgust] ….I got a pair too…I’m.. trying to return them to their owner.. you should do the same. you know..unless you’re some kind of weird pervert.

[kingkryolan]

... pervert? what does underwear have to do with ... that? ... anyway, yeah. when i find whoever they belong to, they'll get them back.

[magnuseffects-blog]

missing undies: if found please return.

[magnuseffects-blog]

  ( /ryou kinda stares at takumi, blinking twice before lifting his open hand; … .. … … … well, can i have them back? or are you just gonna … keep it … ( /he turns his head to look at the machine, wondering why the fuck it even exists and why the hell his damn underwear was in it but he only grunts and shoves both his hands into his front pockets; yeah, my underwear … 

[kingkryolan]

i'm not gonna keep 'em. keeping underwear is bad juju. < looks at the machine, too; he has half a mind to put in all of his coins because he's so curious about it > sure, though. i kept them in my room. < and then he just gets up and walks off without waiting for a response; returns several minutes later with the underwear held aloft > i washed them for you.

[magnuseffects-blog]

missing undies: if found please return.

[magnuseffects-blog]

  ( /he almost didn’t see takumi curled up in the chair; he figured it was a cat or something so he furrows his brows in confusion when he hears the voice; … … ehh? well they’re light blue and they’ve got little clou— … .. aye, fuck that i’m not describing my briefs to you, creep. 

look i— (/he narrows his eyes just a bit at the next question; usually he wouldn’t be so worked up about something but this was about his underwear and that was a very personal matter; i don’t know what machine you’re talking about but they’re not in my damn suitcase. … … .. so you really haven’t seen them? 

[kingkryolan]

< frowns > that's kinda fuckin' harsh, man. ... and if you were gonna say they're blue with clouds, i have them. < blank stare, as if this is totally normal > ... there's a machine right over there, it takes these coins that the little bear gives out. you get prizes, but all i've gotten worth noting was strange underwear and a game console. ...

[magnuseffects-blog]

missing undies: if found please return.

( /pinching the bridge of his nose; he walks downstairs into the lobby where a few of his peers still linger; softly, though still audible he sighs out in his baritone voice; alright … … … …. alright who took them? it ain’t fuckin’ funny so just give them back. please. i swear to god the lot of you … 

[kingkryolan]

... < regards ryou from the seat where he's curled up and sketching > what did they look like? ... also, why are they in a machine?

[cardiotoniccomatose-blog]

  … [just stares at him for a bit] Do… do you want it or something.

[kingkryolan]

... ... ... < stares at the toy; sort of spaces out > huh? oh -- nah, you won it. ... can you believe they put underwear in that thing? i got a pair earlier and i don't know what to do with 'em, they look ... broken in.

[cardiotoniccomatose-blog]

  Do I need to embrace it. As long as you understand the concept I think that’s fine..

[kingkryolan]

uh ... i guess we really are different, 'cause i find that fact fuckin' incredible. i dunno, if it ain't your deal, it ain't your deal. ... what are you gonna do with that spring - deal? < points to the toy >