DAMN // SITTER

[kingsnack]

#KINGSNACK ; YEAH it's me, don't cream your pants ✘ INDEPENDENT ROLEPLAY BLOG FOR ꜱᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʜᴀʀʀɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ of the STRANGER THINGS universe. TRIGGERING THEMES PRESENT -- MINORS DNI. loved by MOLLEE ( she/her, CST based, 26) carrd in progress promo credit icons credit

[kingsnack]

I’ve had a real crappy time.

tw: pregnancy, loss of child, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage

So June 13th I found out I was pregnant. I already have two kids, so this was definitely an adjustment but happy nonetheless. I wasn’t feeling good but chalked it up to just being pregnant, though my gut told me something wasn’t quite right I tried to ignore it. A couple days later, I started spotting, which set off some alarm bells with me since I never spotted with my two kids, but I called my OB’s office and they said to try not to worry, sometimes spotting happens and to keep an eye on it. So, I did. By that Saturday the spotting still has not tapered off and wasn’t getting better (I also started cramping) and that bad feeling in my gut had not gone away either. I just knew something was wrong. So, I went to the ER, they ran some blood work and confirmed my pregnancy but said I was likely having a miscarriage. My HCG levels were 46, not a good sign for a new pregnancy, combined with the bleeding. Monday I went to my OB’s office, did more blood work, hcg levels were 44 by now and they confirmed my miscarriage.

I was devastated and gutted, to put it simply. More appointments ensued, doing more and more blood work. Hcg levels stayed about the same, never dropped below 40, the hospital sent me to a better hospital about 45 minutes from me because they could not figure out why my hcg levels were dropping. They do more blood work, etc, and finally an ultrasound. There they see no in-uterine pregnancy and some cysts on both sides, okay sometimes they happen but they’re concerned about what’s on my right side, and from there they tell me I’m ectopic, judging by the blood work previously and the ultrasound. They can’t tell if it’s a cyst or the pregnancy but they don’t want to take their chances. Blood work at this point is 96. He wants to wait a few more days before taking action, he wants to give me a shot of methotrexate to stop the cells from growing further. We wait a couple more days, he calls me with blood work— it shot up to 115 or 120. He’s like hold up, MAYBE this is a brand new pregnancy we caught and not ectopic like we thought? Let’s wait a few more days, see what new blood work shows before we give the shot in case it’s a viable pregnancy. Great, whatever, get our hopes up. So we wait and wait.. to yesterday.

He gets my blood work back, tells me my levels went straight down to 36. Tells me I can wait until next week for more blood work or I can just get the shot, it’s up to me, but it’s NOT a viable pregnancy either way. I think on it— do I take my chances of if not being ectopic? Do I risk my fallopian tube bursting and lose a tube? I call back and decide to do the shot, I’ve had enough. I want this to be over. I spent thirty minutes of being in the infusion center bawling. The nurses were so sweet, gave me some water and blankets and talked with me before they went to give me the shot. The side affects haven’t been too pleasant, im nauseous and feeling very meh but also.. I can breathe a bit easier knowing this will be over, as horrible as this sounds. I’m trying to heal both physically and mentally, but it’s not been easy. I was planning on coming back but honestly, after this? I may take longer, I can’t muster the energy. Just wanted to give an update, I miss you all.

Take care.

[kingsnack]

fuck it idk if I’m gonna come back, I don’t have enough coffee in my system but I’m on discord if anyone wants it.

[kingsnack]

to come back or not to come back…

[kingsnack]

Okay, so I’m doing it too…

Fuck

Marry

Kill

Voting ended onMar 29, 2023

[kingsnack]

Is Joe Quinn hot ?

Yes

No

Voting ended onMar 26, 2023

[kingsnack]

me, thinking about going back on my alec lightwood blog and reviving him….

[djoswiftie]

[stars-bean]

Joe Keery for BUILD series

[angstmemes]

Try to break my muse’s heart in a single sentence.

[soulprompts]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐆𝐎 👀.

okay so i got like, three books delivered this week, and in anticipation i reread another book that i had, and lads, let me tell ye, it was like quicksand. so now i have a list, some from my head, many from my wonderful friends’ heads, of prompts that basically made us all very soft or very “pleasantly scandalized rich lady from the sixties who just found out a juicy bit of goss about the new neighbor”. i hope ye like them! (DO NOT ADD TO THE LIST. I WILL MAKE A PART TWO. AND THREE. AND FOUR. MANY MANY PARTS. EVENTUALLY. )

[ HAIR ]:          sender slowly reaches out to catch a loose strand of the receiver’s hair and tuck it gently and securely back behind their ear, letting their touch linger afterwards. (if the receiver has short hair, then the sender reaches out and gently runs their fingers through their hair to smooth it back.)

[ CLOSE ]:          while standing remarkably close to one another, the sender is unable to stop themselves from running their gaze across the receiver’s body, lingering for a moment on their lips, before returning to initiate prolonged, intense eye contact.

[ CHIN ]:          as they stand close to one another, the sender hooks a finger and tenderly lifts the receiver’s chin, tilting it up so that they can look at one another, and running a thumb across their skin lightly.

[ THUMB ]:          while cupping the receiver’s cheek in their hand, the sender slowly glides their thumb across their cheekbone in a tender, sweeping caress.

[ WOUND ]:          upon noticing a recent injury on the receiver’s person, the sender carefully moves closer, running a thumb (or hand) across the wound in a gentle, troubled manner.

[ INHALE ]:          while standing in very close quarters to the receiver, the sender shakily inhales with desire/anticipation as they realize how intimately close they are to one another.

[ DANCE ]:          when alone together (e.g. the bedroom, the kitchen, literally anywhere once they’re alone) the sender takes the receiver’s hand, and pulls them into a graceful yet intimate dance as a spontaneous act.

[ BARE ]:          as they get undressed, the sender gently places a soft, tender kiss against the receiver’s bare shoulder.

[ SCAR ]:          noticing a scar on the receiver’s skin, the sender tentatively stops them from covering it up, and rests a gentle, soft kiss over it.

[ FOREHEAD ]:          placing a hand on the back of the receiver’s neck, the sender guides them close and rests their foreheads together.

[ PALM ]:          taking the receiver’s hand, the sender brings it to their mouth, and places a tender kiss against the receiver’s palm.

[ LINGER ]:          taking the receiver’s hand, the sender lifts it to their lips, and gently kisses their knuckles, lingering for a moment before withdrawing.

[ BEHIND ]:         upon entering the same room as the receiver, the sender steps behind them, and winds their arms around the receiver’s waist, drawing them close against them.

[ WAIT ]:          realizing the receiver is about to leave the room, the sender hastily reaches out and catches their wrist, preventing them from continuing their departure.

[ ARM ]:          after holding their hand, the sender releases the receiver, but slowly glides their hand up the full length of their arm, lingering on the upper arm, then the shoulder, then resting their touch against the side of their neck.

[ HOLD ]:          while close to the receiver, the sender wordlessly takes a hold of their hand, for no other purpose than to be holding it.

[ PLAY ]:          while sitting together, the sender absently lifts the receiver’s hand, idly running their fingertips across the lines of their palms, mapping out every inch of their hand with slow, lazy touches.

[ GUIDE ]:          in the process of guiding the receiver through a crowded place, the sender’s hand protectively grazes against the small of their back

[ TOUCH ]:          while touching the receiver’s waist, the sender’s hand briefly dips beneath the hem of their shirt, skimming briefly across the bare skin of their waist.

[ CUP ]:           bringing both hands up to cup the receiver’s face, the sender draws them in closer to them in order to get a better look at their face.

[ TUG ]:          the sender tugs the receiver close against them by resting a hand against the small of their back, pulling them flush against their body.

[ HUSH ]:          while standing close to one another and hiding from pursuers, the sender reaches up and places a finger against the receiver’s lips to prevent them from speaking and revealing their location.

[ WRAP ]: when sitting astride a horse/motorcycle/etc. together, the sender reaches back, takes the receiver’s wrists, and gently pulls their arms around the sender’s waist in an embrace designed to keep the receiver safe, despite feeling remarkably intimate.

[kavtari]

Reblog if you RP using Discord

[countryserved]

kavtari‌:

Message me if you’d like my username.

[kingsnack]

❛ you already know how this will end. ❜

&. 𝐡𝐢𝐭 ‘𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. // @flaeyed

steve knows maybe starting something with billy was not the smartest thing but at the same time he can't stop, and neither can billy. they've both spent so long denying themselves a shred of happiness that neither of them know what to do now that they're in this place. steve sometimes wishes he hadn't fallen for the golden haired surfer, his life would be so much easier but he also knows he doesn't want to be without him. his hands clench into fists at his sides as he looks at billy, eyes narrowed slightly as he tries to cover up the hurt on his features. this wouldn't be the first time someone he's head over heels for breaks his heart, but it sucks even more coming from Billy. "you don't know that! none of us do! you're not even willing to try? am i just not worth the risk?"

[kingsnack]

❛ let’s just stay here. grow old. ❜

&. 𝐡𝐢𝐭 ‘𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. // @dehddie

steve wants that more than anything. but eddie has never wanted to stay in hawkins, he has big dreams, bigger than what steve has or can even achieve with his shitty grades. even community college wouldn't accept him, and he had been a little too busy making sure those shitheads made it to even see the inside of Hawkins High. most people in Hawkins also think eddie is a murderer, even though they were working on clearing the charges and it was a simple case of being there at the wrong time. to them, he'll always be some satanic drug dealer going absolutely nowhere whereas steve knows that isn't true. they're sitting next to the RV while everyone gears up and gets ready to fight vecna when eddie speaks up, breaking the silence. he looks over at the metal head, a lump forming in his throat. "yeah? white picket fence and all?" he says with a sad smile, holding the empty bottle with cloth shoved in it, gasoline by his feet. "maybe a couple of kids.. a dog.."

[kingsnack]

❛ i hate the way that i don’t hate you. ❜

&. 𝐡𝐢𝐭 ‘𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. // @dehddie

that both relieves steve and breaks his heart, hearing eddie say that to him. eddie has every right to hate him, he should hate him when all steve has done is push him away in order to protect himself, to protect his heart. because he's too much and everybody always leaves him eventually-- if he can't make his own parents want to stick around, how could eddie want to?? he swallows thickly, looking into those beautiful brown eyes he had slowly fallen for, and his resolve weakens even more. "you shouldn't be here, eddie."

[kingsnack]

❛ i never meant to hurt you. ❜

&. 𝐡𝐢𝐭 ‘𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. // @pumpkinstabs

a bitter huff escapes the brunette as he looks at the taller male, arms folded across his chest as if shielding himself, putting space between the two men. "that's really fuckin' funny considering you did, michael." not mike, not mikey, not babe-- just michael. he remembers it, michael breaking up with him-- well, that was a strong word, wasn't it? it's not like they were really officially dating or anything, a topic neither male had broached with the other. they basically did everything people who were dating did, sans title. but then michael had just ended it, nothing more was said after that and steve still didn't understand why he had done it. had steve not been enough? "why are you tellin' me this, anyway? you like digging the knife in deeper?"

[kingsnack]

❛ everyone i’ve cared about has either died or left me. except for you. ❜

&. 𝐡𝐢𝐭 ‘𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. // @spehllman

steve is still wearing the vest eddie had given him in the upside down.

they had all made it out, except for one person. he had promised sabrina he would get eddie out of this shitty situation he had found himself in, that he would bring eddie back home and he failed. a choked out sob forces it's way passed his lips, hands shaking as he looks at sabrina. "fuck, brina i'm--," his words die on his tongue. somehow, i'm sorry just doesn't feel like it'll cut it in this kind of situation. he may have loved eddie, but sabrina loved him first. that was her brother, her other half and steve had let him die. "it should have been me."