just wanted to say you're the best shiggy writer on tumblr, I've read all of your works at least twice <3 I love them sm <33 miss seeing you on my timeline, hope you're doing great!
This is incredibly sweet and really put a smile on my face today. I'm so happy that even in my absence you're still able to enjoy the fics :')
I will say that I miss being here very much!! Last year was very difficult for me and I really didn't expect my school program to be so gruesome!! i was fighting for my life anon!!!!
I'm still hanging in there (thankfully!) but my time has really been eaten up by schooling. I havent forgotten about my ongoing fics tho!! I still jot things down when i have the time and energy! I'm just moving,, very, slowly,,,
sorry to take this ask and spill my heart out >﹏< I miss it here and i really appreciate the message!! I hope youre having an amazing day <3
Summary: You were always told heroes and villains had no place in your home. Not when there’s an increase in crime, not when there’s monsters on the loose in Hosu and certainly not when the man in your home raises a hand to you. All it takes is one impulsive decision to change your life forever.
content: shigaraki tomura x female reader, slow burn, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, reader has a quirk, graphic depictions of violence, past abuse, past sa, angst, pstd, eventual smut, dark themes, found family LoV, mdni
wc: 6.2k | prev | chapter 7 | m. list | read on ao3
Three.
That’s how many people died on the mission with Dabi. Three people lost their lives because they challenged the League of Villains and they paid for it.
But the worst part of all is not the fact that your nose still holds the putrid smell of charred flesh, it’s not even that this trip has given you more insight on the Cremation Villain himself.
No, the worst part of it all is that you feel stronger.
You feel as though you could take on anything — like you finally had a chance to take your power back.
Dabi was right when he said it’s you or them.
That phrase had been thrown at you over and over again in the past by your father and only now had it clicked in your mind.
You were finally in a space to do something about it.
And you had support.
Dabi may not be the friendliest of the League, but you know now that there is more than meets the eye when it comes to the distant villain.
So instead of a baseless fear, there is a newfound respect for the man, and it stays with you even through his snarky remarks and flippant exits from the base.
Those same thoughts are expressed in the mission recap you give to Shigaraki.
You’ve both found yourselves back into the rhythm of the roof. A quiet pocket away from the world.
“But there were three of them, and the one with the illusion quirk — I’ve never seen anything like it.” You go on, words falling from your tongue as you recall the recent experience. The blaze of Dabi’s flames left phantom tingles in your fingers and you bring a hand up to gaze at it.
Shigaraki is quiet as he listens on, taking a sip from his fizzy drink.
(Toga swore she couldn't find his usual sugar filled soda and now he’s stuck with a rosy pink drink and not nearly enough caffeine.)
There's a warmth that spreads throughout your chest as you bring your hand back down.
You missed it out here, even if the mission had only been a few days long.
“So,” Shigaraki’s low voice starts, capturing your attention at once, “there were no problems?”
“Hm,” you look to the night sky and then back to your hand, memories flooding your mind as your shoulders drag a slow shrug, “not entirely. Things got a little tense at one point when they got me, though.”
“Got you?” He echoes, surprise in his voice so slight it goes unnoticed.
You continue on, “Yeah, I thought it was over for me. The illusion quirk was trickier than I anticipated and the paralysis quirk was dangerous.”
Shigaraki brings a hand to his neck, the light scratching raising no alarms as you think back to your trip, almost excited to tell him how you finally stood up for yourself and did something about your situation.
“But the paralysis only worked because he touched me, and—“
“Someone touched you?” His tone held a tension so tight it made your words stall.
“Yeah, but Dabi, he—”
“Why were you on the front lines?” Shigaraki cuts you off, voice as sharp as the nails that rake across his neck.
The hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you quickly find yourself slipping into dangerous territory, unsure if your next answer would be one to put you on the chopping block.
There’s a pit in your stomach beginning to form as you wet your lips.
This anxiety, it’s all too close to home.
You try to still your thoughts and answer in a way that would salvage this situation, “Well, it was because of Dabi, but he saved me—!”
Shigaraki doesn’t want to hear it.
“He could have gotten you killed.”
Or worse, your breath hitches at the thought. It hangs in your mind, trailing behind his words.
Yes, you could have been killed but the reality is much, much worse.
But you can’t bring yourself to say it.
Not aloud.
Not to Shigaraki.
“Reckless,” he mutters, more so to himself than to you, “we don’t need to take risks like that so soon.”
His rambles fade into the night as your mind races at what could have been, the light touches and mocking jeers pulling your attention from reality.
Shigaraki’s next words are the only thing to pull you back to shore.
“No more missions.”
Your eyes snap to him. “What?”
“It’s too much of a liability. We need a healer here, at the base — alive.”
You stare at him, dumbfounded that your leader has, in so many words, grounded you.
“But, Shigaraki—” You go to complain but he’s heard enough.
Your leader stands and makes his way to the exit without another word, nails still biting at the skin of his neck and effectively leaving you to sit in the somber company of the whistling wind and city lights.
————————
For hours on end it’s been a constant stream of punches, kicks and newly formed bruises on skin.
“You have to hit harder!” Toga calls out to you as her clone gears up to strike at you once more.
You groan as your fists come up again, dragging with the weight of your exhaustion as her doppelganger licks fresh blood from her knife. She hasn’t backed down once and shows no signs of slowing up.
There’s nothing more you can do but brace yourself and plant your feet. Even though you were tired, you would be damned if she got the chance to call you out on it. So instead, you put on a brave face and prepare.
The clone jumps with a speed that rivals the real thing and knocks into you with enough force to send you tumbling to the ground.
You go down with a yell and channel your energy into coming out on top of her.
With a bit of force and a lot of focus you manage to do it. Toga’s clone is restrained below you, her soft face clinched in pain as you pin her arm behind her back.
“Yes, good job, little bird!” Toga calls from her perch, “Now finish it.”
The knife her clone once held has fallen to the ground out of her reach, but well within yours. It should be no problem taking her out.
Finish it.
No big deal.
The clone struggles beneath you as your breathing grows heavier, feeling the weight of Toga’s gaze as it pierces your back and makes you sweat.
“C’mon! End it and we can be done for the day.”
There was nothing you wanted more than to be done for the day so you could head back to your room to decompress from this relentless training.
But…
You hesitate.
It may have been easy to come out on top with the man from the mission, but this was different.
Clone or not, it’s too much like her, and Himiko has done nothing but support you.
Her clone looks back at you, and you drop your gaze.
You just can’t do it.
Your eyes close as you hear Toga’s faint steps along the grass. She finishes the job without a second thought and her doppelganger turns to muck beneath you.
The substance it was made of clings to your bare knees and palms.
“What happened?” She questions, standing over your kneeled form and casting a shadow over you and your doubts.
The clone substance begins to evaporate while your eyes focus on her sleek school shoes that probably haven’t stepped inside an actual school in years.
“I... I don’t know.”
“You were able to help Dabi on the mission, weren't you?” Even though you can’t see her face, you can feel her concerned expression from the tone alone. “You’ve taken someone down before.”
“That was different. This one,” you pause, cautious of your next words. “She looks too much like you.”
Silence stretches between you both, loud and uncomfortable as it fills the forest fields with nothing but your awkward vulnerability and her heavy expectations.
One fact remains the same.
You are not a villain yet.
You realize there won’t be a response as the quiet drags. So, out of words and tired, you sigh and flop onto your back. The soft brush of the green grass molds beneath your body as you relax, your exhausted gaze finding the deep blue hue of the sky above.
There's not many clouds out today.
You hear Toga’s steps above where your head rests as she follows suit to lie down nearby, a calm sigh leaving her lips in the process.
Curiously, you turn your head to the side and take in her relaxed features — her golden eyes closed and cheeks dusted pink as she basks in the sun.
“Just you wait, little bird,” she coos, catching your attention with a smile spread across her lips.
“Hm?”
“You’ll be free to do whatever you want, you know?” She starts with a yawn and you wonder if she’ll end up napping out here, “Tomura will make sure of that.”
Your eyes wander back to the sky.
She speaks as if she believes it with her whole heart, and expects you to believe too.
Your eyes catch an airplane cutting through the infinite blue now, leaving its own trail of clouds behind and you watch it fly with placid interest.
Free, huh…
————————
He shouldn’t care.
He shouldn’t care and he doesn't care so why was this entire ordeal making his skin itch?
Tomura paces the space of his messy room as the prickly scratching habit makes itself known once more.
He can’t keep doing this. He can’t keep losing his temper around you.
Had recent events taught him nothing? He was supposed to be in charge, damn it.
What would sensei say?
Tomura scoffs at himself. It would probably be something along the lines of, “a mission’s success is more important than the losses taken,” and lucky for Tomura, there were no losses.
But there could have been.
Frustrated, Tomura crashes into his computer chair in a heap as he brings the machine to life.
He’s quick to pull up a search tab and make sure the various seeds placed for his future endeavors remain planted.
There is a goal to accomplish, a bigger picture and he can’t spend more time than necessary on something as simple as unmanaged feelings.
No, Tomura needed to grow. Sensei tried to make him aware of that.
Tomura closes one tab and opens another, typing your name into the search bar and taking note of the results.
Your articles are dwindling.
Good.
The sooner that false story leaves the eye of the public, the easier it will be for you to move on.
The sooner you move on, the sooner you’ll be able to reach your full potential.
The sooner you can do that… the sooner Tomura can stop wasting his precious time on you and your striking familiarity.
It's beginning to drive him mad.
Tomura is a leader, but he has no time to play therapist to those with troubled pasts. If that were the case he would have a private venting session with all of his League members.
He wants everyone to flourish and stand on their own. The operation just works better that way.
But…
That’s easier said than done.
Tomura leans back in his desk chair and takes a breath.
Dabi finished the job as intended, which means there's no one for him to take this rising frustration out on, and he’s become too high profile for his usual walks.
The roof was a compromise of sorts. Somewhere he could get fresh air without putting himself at obvious risk, but now—
Damn it, his thoughts cycle back — they always seem to cycle back — to the mystery that you are.
Tomura taps a finger on the desk as his thoughts run rampant.
No, he can’t let himself be blinded by curiosity. Especially not if it's going to interfere with his temper. He has to stay focused.
This isn't only about him now.
There’s a bigger picture to be revealed.
He has to take down All Might.
He has to focus.
Tomura closes the remaining tabs on his computer and shuts the system down.
The last of the lingering light in his room comes from his desk lap and it shines down on a lone scrap of paper resting on his desk.
It’s a polaroid.
One of a blond boy, locked in chains and muzzled like an animal.
The photo catches his eye and Tomura feels the puzzle pieces of the world snap back into place.
His rampant thoughts cease.
Yes, it’s best for everyone to find their place here, to flourish and stand on their own.
The mission before was just a precursor for what he had planned, and with a few more preparations the League could make their next move.
His sparse brows lift in amusement as he remembers how close his next goal is to fruition.
This was it.
With careful fingers he picks up the photo, a wicked smile dancing onto his features as his mind regains its much needed clarity.
In the League anyone could become what they want to be, and Tomura would be the one to ensure that.
————————
Everything feels humid.
It feels oppressive and stuffy and you can’t breathe.
Your lips purse as you try to break free of the spell that bound you. There’s no way to know when or how, but you were trapped.
Your eyes are open, but you can’t see.
The noises you try to make from your mouth don’t come out, sending you further into a panic. Your limbs try to hit at anything, but feel submerged in jello. There was no way out of this and you couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that if you didn’t do something soon you’d surely suffocate.
The sounds of muffled laughs and deep voices plague your ears as the unwanted feel of feather light touches dance along your skin.
Those touches soon turn harsh — hungry and biting for more of you than you could ever hope to give.
Your head starts to spin with the overload of feelings, your mind racing as you continue to fight against this assault.
You wake with a scream.
Out of breath and panting, you grip your cotton shirt, looking around your dark room for any signs of intruders.
There's no one there with you. The area is still and silent, the only noise to keep you company is the loud ringing in your ears as you try to make sense of what you know realize was a nightmare.
It’s the dead of night according to the clock on your nightstand.
Reaching over, you turn on the lamp, it’s dull light doing little to illuminate the space. You make due with it for now, though — thankful as it chases away the rest of the fog from your mind.
You feel shaken and outside yourself as your eyes dart around the room, your mind wanting to ensure that you are alone to bear the burden of bad dreams.
You are, and it was just a dream.
This mantra plays on repeat in your mind as you bury yourself beneath the blankets and try to go back to sleep.
But it’s no use.
Every time you close your eyes that sickening feeling claws its way back into your mind, haunting you like a lingering ghost.
The more you try to close your eyes and forget, the more unsettled you feel.
After countless minutes of tossing and turning bring you no comfort, you give up altogether and sit up, facing the night head on.
You can’t go back to sleep like this.
Any other night you would take this as an opportunity to find peace on the roof.
Your hands clench the plush of your blanket, pushing those thoughts away. You haven't been to the roof since that night, and maybe it was better that way.
Staying out of Shigaraki’s way feels more comfortable and making yourself small feels familiar.
So, rubbing the fast fading sleep from your eyes, you examine the contents of your room, scanning over the growing number of books on your bookshelf to the papers tossed haphazardly across your desk.
You pause.
There, sitting atop the desk, is the black gaming system Shigaraki gave you.
It hadn’t moved an inch since he gifted it to you that night.
But it wasn’t from lack of interest.
Ever since your conversation with Shigaraki on the roof, the training you had been doing with Toga had tripled to the point where your body ached from the extensive exercise.
You knew it had been Shigaraki’s doing, but your body was too exhausted to find him and complain about it afterwards.
Your body was too tired for anything afterwards, even disruptive dreams were rare on those nights. The only thing on your mind had been the ache of your muscles and the warm bath that would follow your rigorous routine.
You hadn’t dreamt at all.
The relief of retreating to your welcoming bed was too strong.
But now that’s changed.
Toga has left for a mission and you’ve found yourself with more free time on your hands than you would like to admit.
So, as phantom hands and lingering leers cling to your mind, you stand on shaky legs and reach your desk.
It’s cold, you note as your fingers brush over the scratched device, picking it up and searching for the power button. Some part of you doubted it held a charge after how long it's been sitting, but the bright white light of the screen startles you as it turns on, its cheerful chime loud in the silence of your bedroom.
There’s already a game inside.
A silly humanoid cat creature with a blue cap pops up on screen and you take a seat back on your bed.
It’s a colorful sidescroller that's not too difficult to get the hang of.
Getting lost in the game feels easy as you lie back and continue to mash buttons and beat the levels.
It’s… cute.
And distracting.
So distracting that you don’t even realize you’d fallen asleep until your eyes flutter open the next morning.
Days go by and the game has captured your attention more and more.
Toga is still away, and with her absence comes a lull in your tasks. You haven't completely put off training, but the break feels nice. Being strictly a healer comes naturally to you, and beyond that there isn’t much else for you to do.
The bar upstairs has been a more welcoming area. With its more lively crowd, you have a little more fun being around others instead of your secluded bedroom.
Shigaraki is in his usual place, slouching on a stool at the far end of the bar, while Kurogiri slides you another glass of the fizzy clear soda you swear you’re not becoming addicted to.
And you’ve brought the console with you.
Level after level, you soak in its bright colors, the semi-difficult puzzles and all around fun of the game.
Until you reach level nineteen.
You’ve been at it for hours, but the result is the same. Run, jump, kick and fall. Your character falls deep into the digital abyss and you’re stuck looking on as he respawns and bounces idly in place.
“God damn it.” You curse under your breath as your character dies for the fifth time in a row. You’re left to huff a sigh as you place the system down on the counter and glare at the empty glass of soda before you.
The game is fun, until it’s not.
You halfheartedly wonder if all games were this way as Kurogiri notices your frustrations and quietly refills your glass.
With a quick nod of thanks to the apparition you take the glass, downing the drink and sending your frustrations with it as you come back to reality.
A quick scan around the bar shows you that there aren’t many people in today, but that’s okay. Sometimes it's nice to just not be alone. And when there’s one too many members present things get… loud.
Your gaze lands back on the game, wearily debating if you should ask your leader for help with it — he gave you the damned thing after all — but you pause.
Shigaraki is quiet as he flips through a newspaper, completely unbothered by commotion beyond his readings.
You haven’t spoken since that night, you’ve barely even seen him.
Your brows furrow as those familiar anxieties begin to rear its ugly head yet again.
At home you would know if your father had a problem with you. The silent treatment only lasted so long before he would—
No.
You weren’t home anymore. There was nothing coming to get you or hurt you. You take a breath and turn towards your leader.
“Hey, Shigaraki,” it’s hard to be certain from the hand covering his face, but you believe he hears you, “Could you, maybe, help me out with this level? I can’t get past it.”
You try to stop the small tremble as you hold the small console out to him, half expecting him to completely ignore you like he ignores the racket around him.
But he doesn’t.
Shigaraki turns his head, eyeing the game and then looking back at you.
He reaches out, taking the system. His gentle touch surprises you as his careful fingers grip the system with a care only years of mandatory practice could cultivate. Those dangerous hands were free from the confids of his partial gloves, and you suspect that he prefers it that way.
They’re weapons and with his lifestyle it’s best to be ready for anything.
(You will yourself not to think of the implications your rooftop nights have — the nights where he is gloved and unguarded.)
It takes him no time to sink into the game, a soft tsk as he seems to find exactly where you went wrong.
“Here,” he hands it back to you, mindful not to brush his fingers against yours. “There was a platform above the hole. You had to jump at a certain angle to see it.”
The character on the screen cheers as he completes the level, but you remain stuck in place, unsure what to say besides a muttered thank you.
Somewhere inside you almost wish you had more to say.
Nightfall comes and the other members begin to clear out, but Shigaraki remains.
You debate retiring to your chambers as well, silently dreading the gray walls that await you.
The faint sounds of glass clinking meets your ears as Kurogiri puts cups away, fully absorbed in his task of shutting down the bar.
You move to stand, knowing you were better off heading to your room than the roof, better off heading to bed where your nightmares will undoubtedly chase you awake once more.
But…
No, you shake the thoughts from your mind.
You have the game. It shouldn't be a problem to play until you fall asleep.
The chill is the first thing to greet you as you open the door to your bedroom.
The silence is next.
A sigh leaves you as you make your way over to the bed, tossing the game onto your bedside table and allowing yourself to fall into the sheets.
No matter how much you try and fight the feelings they just won't go away.
You can’t deny it.
You miss the roof.
And even more, you miss gazing out at the city and you miss not being alone.
Silent nights with Shigaraki were… nice. Peaceful. The most peace you had gotten in a long time.
It takes a moment but you sit up, knowing sleep wouldn’t find you anytime soon.
Even if your leader wasn’t on the roof tonight, you could at least get some fresh air. It’s an easy option, you convince yourself as you grab the extra blanket Kurogiri gave you during your first week here.
You push down the worry clouding your mind and leave the desolate place you call your bedroom.
There’s an almost giddy feeling rising within your chest as you make it to the secluded space. A feeling that makes you feel like you’ve discovered a grand secret and it was yours and yours alone to keep.
For some reason you didn’t think Shigaraki would be there. You’d convinced yourself that maybe he felt the same way you did, too preoccupied with the sour note the night had been left off on and fully crossed out the roof as his hiding place.
But, no.
He’s sat in his usual spot, sipping his usual energy drink and looking out at the night sky,
Your steps are light as you slowly make your way over, gentle as if he would make a dash for the exit and leave at any slight sound.
But he doesn’t.
No, Shigaraki sits there, hand no longer obscuring his face. He’s so still you almost think he hasn’t even noticed you.
A naive thought.
Your leader seems more aware of his surroundings than the average villain.
Your steps stop just before you reach him, but his gaze remains fixed on the city lights.
“I brought you something,” your voice is soft, uncertain as you watch him take another sip of his drink. You knew the silence would last forever if you hadn’t broken it first. And it's not a lie, technically. It can be for the both of you.
Finally, he turns to you, eyeing the blanket in your hands.
“I thought it would be nice to have something to sit on.” You fight to keep your words from catching in your throat, but it’s hard. His piercing red gaze does nothing to soothe you and his lack of words makes your anxieties heighten.
“Are you stuck on another level?” His voice breaks through the tension and your shoulders begin to relax.
If he seems bothered by your presence he doesn't show it.
“No, I—” you pause, debating your next words — things feel so fragile right now. “I just wanted to come out here again.”
The wind whistles, carrying the strain of your worries on its back as you watch your leader.
“It’s been a while.” You continue, watching Shigaraki’s ashen hair blow in the soft wind.
“You’re free to do what you want, you know,” he says between another sip. “You don’t need permission.”
“Right.” You mumble, eyes cast down at the cemented roof he sits on, “stand up for a second.”
Shigaraki watches you, but does as he’s told, giving you an opportunity to spread the blanket below and it's an honest improvement to the space.
The quiet that spreads between you is more familiar. More comforting.
It lets you fall into the ambiance of slow cars and the calm city, the open air of the outside being just what you need to calm your mind and relax. You feel more confident in the unfiltered space, away from those gray, claustrophobic four walls of your bedroom.
“I wouldn’t mind some tips, if you had any,” you start, stopping that train of thought and pulling out the gaming system. The chime of the start screen fills the air and you bite back a smile.
He watches, the residual light from the screen shining against his face, making those ruby eyes shine brighter. “I might.”
You take the initiative and scoot closer to him, feeling a childish elation at the idea of learning something new about your borrowed game.
Shigaraki doesn’t stop you, but he makes no attempt to move closer, only reaching for the device and starting a new level.
“Here,” he tilts the screen, allowing you a better view as his character runs towards a wall. The faint smell of fresh linen meets your nose, it's soft against his well worn black hoodie. You try to ignore it, knowing your mind would wander but the proximity forces you to take note.
You never thought Shigaraki would smell bad, per se, but you didn’t think it would be noticeably nice.
Cozy, even.
“And if you do that right…” he continues, pulling your attention back to the tutorial at hand, “you should get… this.”
A box appears above the character and he jumps, claiming three extra lives and you would be impressed if you weren’t trying too hard not to show how distracted you were.
“O-oh! That’s cool.” Your hand finds the hem of your shirt, nervously picking at the seams as you watch on. Shigaraki wasn’t quite done showing you the tricks of the game and you wordlessly thank the stars for the distraction.
This time, he leans over giving you a much better view of the game as his fingers press the controller buttons rapidly. “If you time it just right you can do…” his words trail off as the character makes contact with an enemy, making it disappear while gaining a power up. “This.”
The character jumps, its new and boosted form reaches higher than he could have without and meets the finish line. Shigaraki wins.
“Whoa.” You breathe and in any other case you would try to say more, show more enthusiasm, but you can’t ignore the soft scent of oatmeal and cinnamon. Shigaraki smells… warm.
“It gets easier when you know where to look.” He finishes the demonstration and there's no chance you’ll be able to replicate his tutorials.
So you nod, hoping that the night sky will hide the growing flush in your cheeks.
Childish. Stupid.
You try to shake off the sprouting feelings.
It’s probably just your mind playing tricks on you, anyway. An act of kindness that sends your brain haywire.
“I didn’t think games like this were your type.” The words fall from your lips before you realize.
Shigaraki raises a sparse brow, more curious than irritated. “What games do you think are my type?”
“Hm,” you pause, stopping to really ponder what may or may not be Shigaraki’s type, “I’m not sure. To be honest, I didn’t think I would like this game as much as I do, to be honest.”
“You’ve never played anything like this?”
Your smile is somber as it bites the bitter taste of your past. “No, my father had me on a pretty tight leash. I didn’t play much of anything. There was one game I really wanted though. Um, I think it was pocket monsters?”
“You’ve never played pocket monsters?” Shigaraki’s tone is usually even, but even he can’t hide the genuine surprise.
You spit a laugh. “No, he saw that they battled or whatever and shut any dream of that down. Its,” your voice fades as you face the reality of your past, “Kind of depressing, really.”
Shigaraki stays quiet, watching the way you sigh. You wonder if he were looking through you, peering right into your mind and uncovering all of your dirty, disgusting past.
If he were able to see all of that — to see all of you — what would he say?
After a moment he turns away, seemingly having gotten his fill of your damaged disposition and bringing his attention back to the sky above.
“You would probably be a water type trainer.” He says suddenly, catching your attention.
“Hm? What makes you say that.”
He shrugs, a lazy half lift of his shoulders. “It just fits you.”
“Yeah?” Your eyes are caught on his fingers, the way those hazardous hands grip the console, careful not to hold it in a way that would harm it. Forever cautious that those hands would make it disintegrate into a pale dust and then nothingness, doomed to ashes as it would blow away.
You can’t imagine how stressful a quirk like that would have been to grow up with.
“You would be a ghost type trainer.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm,” You nod, eyes cutting away from his hands as you try to stomp down the sheepish feelings rising in your chest. “It’s in your name.”
Mourning.
The words go unspoken, hanging in the air between you. It hangs heavy and you want to continue, need to continue.
You think of your leader and his growing gang of misfits, you think of the way there were no questions asked when taking you in and his previous words of encouragement.
Tomura Shigaraki may be a dangerous villain, but he’s shown you more consideration than the person who was supposed to raise you.
“You seem like the type… to see the beauty in abandoned things.” You fight through the nerves and speak your mind, unwilling to back down with how far you've gone. “Things that may have been forgotten, or lost…”
Himiko’s words echo in your mind, then Dabi and his hardened expression.
“... Things without a home.”
The silence stretches for a long time, you almost worry that you’ve said something wrong, but you can't help but feel a little happy to have gotten that out of your mind.
You pick up the conversation again.
“You know, talking about games with you, I,” your eyes meet the blanket below, your digits picking at the hem of it. “I feel like I've missed out on a lot.”
Countless nights of telling your friends you can’t meet them at the movies, can’t go with them to stay-away camp, can’t do anything.
The only thing you can do is wait and watch your life pass you by in a prison dressed up as a broken home.
“Do you ever feel this way?” The words slip out before you're able to catch them, the ache of connection too desperate to stay hidden inside.
You don’t know much about Shigaraki, but you know that his upbringing must have been unusual if he’s turned out this way. Yet he’s here, trying to fight against what he believes is injustice. There has to be something that drives him to keep standing.
The quiet stretches and you’re about ready to change the topic and pretend you hadn’t asked anything.
“Sometimes.”
Your head turns to him, surprised.
He gives his half shrug again. “But there’s no point in sitting in something that can’t change. The past is the past. Carve your own future.”
You bring your knees to your chest desperately trying to fight off the familiar burn of tears in your eyes. Once you would start, it would only be downhill from there.
“I just want to be normal.”
“Normal is subjective.”
“Yeah, well, tell that to society.” The words are bitter and they leave a sour taste on your tongue, knowing there is no way to live a life where you are just like anyone else.
To be someone who’s had the comfort and privilege of growing up in a healthy, stable life.
To live in a world where you could only read the articles about some home invasion in another city and gasp in disbelief that something like that could ever happen.
In this fantasy world, you would shake your head in disappointment, make some comment about society going downhill and show the story to a friend for validation. Then you would close the page and move on with your day, forever forgetting about travesty because situations like that don’t happen to normal people.
But that isn't how things work.
Not for you. Never for you.
“You should take that feeling and hold it close.”
Your brows furrow as you turn to him, your impending spiral screeching to a halt.
“Foster it and let it grow.” Shigaraki continues, handing his gaming system back to you with such careful hands. So, so delicate and gentle, unable to even risk a brush of your fingers. Somehow, this feels even closer than if he had touched you. “Why should they go on about their lives while you suffer?”
His voice is soft.
It's tender, as if you were fragile enough to break with words alone. Your heart thumps against the cage of your chest as you hold the game tight, bringing it close and allowing it to anchor you. This conversation feels familiar, like the one you shared in your first days here.
Shigaraki gives a slow half smile and those warm feelings inside of you grow, spreading to your cheeks and ears while you hang on to each word, “you deserve to show the world your feelings.”
You gasp and meet his eyes, entranced as he breathes a new light into you with those words.
You see the beauty in abandoned things.
It's true.
But you never thought he’d see it in you.
A familiar roll of thunder drags you form your stupor, eyes transfixed on the gleam in his eyes and budding feelings within.
“Sounds like it’ll rain soon.” His voice breaks through, and he’s already rising from his place on the blanket.
You nod a tad more enthusiastically than you should and hurry to gather the cover, flushing deeper as you notice he’s glued to his spot.
He’s waiting for you.
Your feet patter against the concrete of the roof as you nearly skip over to him, the smallest drops of rain meeting your cheeks. Your mind races as you gather two important things from tonight:
@sinsxo — cherry's works are genuinely so unique and refreshing for me to read (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ i feel like i have a very niche and particular taste for writing, but all of her bluelock works are so interesting and exciting. i also love the way she writes love!! she is so talented and her blog feels like the cozy corner of a dimly lit library—safe, warm, and hazy like a dream you never want to wake up from 😴 her stories are detailed as heck too, go check her out!! 🥰
@sevarchive — NAT'S WORKS ARE SO FUNNY & AMAZING AHSH!! she has a very wide range when it comes to what she can write — sometimes she posts crack fics that make me laugh until my stomach hurts and other times she writes things that break my heart into a million pieces and bring TEARSSS to my eyes 🥹 if you want a bluelock writer who brings a variety of stories to your dash, check nat out!!
@xoxojisu — jisu is SUCH a sweet soul. i love her writing, it's so soft and lovely and i feel like i'm on a cloud breathing the same air as the stars themselves when i read her works (..◜ᴗ◝..) i specifically love the way she writes katsuki (a character i struggle to write sometimes because he is so complicated to capture!) but she does it effortlessly! kudos to you, my lovee <3
@bloomseishiro — BLOOM WRITES THE CUTEST PIECES EVER!! i genuinely love her blog, it's a breath of fresh air. think about how full of life and love you'd feel when you walk into a field of flowers—the feeling is similar to how i feel when i see bloom post :) every time i finish reading one of her works, whether it's an smau or written (both equally amazing), my heart always feels a little less heavy (╥﹏╥) ♡ her blog is genuinely such a positive place and i feel so blessed when i see her on my dash :)) thank u for being u, bloom!!
@rosierin — ahh rosie is one of my fav haikyuu writers ever!! she has a series revolving around suna and the miya twins, and it's definitely an all time favorite of mine <3 found family is one of my favorite things to read about (gentle intimacy, love between friends, i love it dearly!!), and rosie writes it amazingly! please check out her works, she is so very talented 🥲💞
@crushmeeren — crush is a dear friend of mine with the heart of an angel, truly (∩˃o˂∩)♡ she has such a plentiful masterlist from so many good animes, and her writing is top tier!! i find myself giggling like a lovesick idiot at her works too 🫣 but alas, that's just the power some writers hold over us!! crush currently has requests open, so i would most definitely recommend checking them and her works out!! :D
@eremikayearner — NEVE where can i even begin,,, her writing is the most beautiful and whimsical thing i have ever come across. it's something plucked straight out of a fairytale, and she writes so cleverly, with the cutest scenarios ever i must add, and i admire her so so much! she's an angel and i hope she never stops writing (greedy of me to say, i know 😞) but her works are genuinely heaven sent! neve also has such good takes on characters and i love how intricately she dives into the psyche of them and reveals their innermost disposition so magically with her words. she is truly such a talented writer 🥹
@chevxyn — chev has such an amazing take on bluelock characters!! i love her writing, and she covers so many emotions so wonderfully. seriously, my whole face lights up when i see her on my dash because she is SUCH a sweetheart with so much talent and passion and i really, truly, with all my heart, ADORE how authors like chev write. they write the sweet bliss that comes with love and the aches that come with heartbreak ❤️🩹 please check chev out! she's so very cool :))
@shigarakislaughter — KISAA! they are so talented and SO enthusiastic when it comes to tomura, and although their opinions and thoughts on him make me GIGGLE like a madman, i really admire how well they appreciate and understand heavily misunderstood characters. it's very easy for people nowadays to reduce complicated people to problem people instead, but i think kisa's ability to find the real good in characters is just one show of how great they are. kisa is also very silly and their blog is genuinely such a safe place, and positive energy like theirs is truly amazing! thank you for being you kisa, never stop ☺️
@seneon — sennieeee my cutie patootie... her writing is so intricate and beautiful it genuinely takes my breath away. her imagery?? absolutely FLAWLESS. i love her recent takes on the saja boys especially AHSHS she's actually the reason i even watched k pop demon hunters!! i needed to know more about them after reading her works, she's just that good :) soo please check her out!! sennie's vibe is eerie and creepy and so so cool you may just fall in love with her! be careful! :pp
@b3ach-bunn7 — NIA NIA NIA!! i am such a fan of her and her works. she writes bnha characters so naturally and the unspoken affection she writes so delightfully is something i eat up EVERY. TIME. if you're a fellow touya/dabi enthusiast like myself, i would most definitely check nia out!! that and her shinso fics... they are so good. SO good. she is THE shinso writer, and that is final! ily and your writing to saturn and back, nia :))
@rueclfer — RUEE is the coolest! their bnha works are top tier and evoke so many emotionsss akjdhjkdh. i think it's rare to find writers on this app that explore so many characters so deeply, but just by looking at rue's masterlist, you can see how many amazing pieces there are on so many characters :D rue's blog is also a place everyone can be themselves, mainly since rue matches your energy every time, and i think that's one of the reasons i believe they're the coolest :))
@augustinewrites — augustine mainly captured my heart with her fushigojo works :) she is definitely one of my FAVORITE jjk writers and i adoree how well she understands satoru's character. he is genuinely one of my favorite anime characters ever, but he is so complicated it makes my brain hurt sometimes (っ◞‸◟ c) augustine is the only writer i know who writes him so phenomenaly, so please check out her blog!! it's a hidden treasure, i promise <3
@kingtomura — lou is genuinely so endearing to me. her works are STUNNING and so raw it's like getting a hammer to the heart every time i read something by her. a lot of bnha fics are very fluffy and happy (mine especially) mainly because that's the overall vibe of the anime and a way to cope, but lou dips into the parts most writers don't dare to venture into, the ugly and sad aspects we usually don't want to acknowledge, and she spins the sadness into something more than bearable and undeniably beautiful. i really love her writing, so please give her blog a look if you want your heart to be shattered and stitched back together by her lovely hands :)
@itoshiexx — ONE OF MY FAVORITE ITOSHI RIN WRITERS. EVER. TO EXISTT!! lena's works are touching in a way that makes you feel every emotion she conveys with her writing. her soul is beautiful and i know this because i can FEEL it! she's sunshine incarnate and also living proof that even in tough times, you are still loved. her works flesh out the sad parts of life and provide the same comfort as a hug from your favorite person. she is so so soo talented and i wish nothing but shooting stars and rainbows for her :) 💛 i love you!
i want to emphasize this list is in no particular order, i simply scrolled through my following and wrote down all the writers who have really had a genuinely positive impact on me (ᵕ—ᴗ—) this is also a great way to show my appreciation for my fav creators on here so!! yay!! :D i'll add onto this list as life goes on, because i'm sure there's even more wonderful people i haven't had the pleasure of stumbling upon yet. thank you all for creating life with your art :) <3
Bee!!!! this is genuinely the sweetest thing anyone has said about my writing!!!!! you are so kind and you've literally made my whole year!!!! sending you so much love omfg!!! <3<3<3
maybe that fictional man is evil to you. to me he holds me and caresses me and loves me and has incredible sex with me. he’s still evil, i just wanted you to know that we fuck freaky style
hey by the way i ducking love you thank you for feeding me tomura content 💔🥀 im so normal about him i swear (i exclaim as if i dont sob my eyes out at every little sliver of tomura content i find on tumblr)
aww!! i ducking love you too haha and i'm very normal about him also! i think there needs to be endless tomura love out in the world
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