Cas wearing this on a tshirt. can anyone else see my vision here
(original)
todays bird
DEAR READER
ojovivo
art blog(derogatory)

Kiana Khansmith
Not today Justin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Keni

⁂
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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Sade Olutola
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
we're not kids anymore.

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Origami Around
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tannertan36
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@kinky-cas
Cas wearing this on a tshirt. can anyone else see my vision here
(original)
happy pride month to “actually, love can get crazier than that.”
I know I’ve talked recently of the soul touching and the handcuff trope
but I also love the almost-dead lover trope
esp the one where the lover while in his in-between state is allowed to somehow covertly witness the grief in action
cas watching in shock as dean grieves, my beloved
I knew I had some fic saved.
Solitudes – ilovehowyouletmefall
Lord of the Lake (And I Don't Want to Leave) – kathscradle
and a couple with bonus time travel (Cas of a different era seeing Dean grieve his death)
Heavy in Your Arms – thesebrokenwings
Blast From The Past – dylantuesday
Sit, Feast On Your Life – seffersonjtarship
why confession booth scene
The way both Zachariah and Metatron are the closest to actually understanding Chuck out of all of his children and yet I honestly think he doesn't even see them, not really, because they're not main character potential, but that's exactly why they Know, they're observers, they're orchestrators, they're writers
me when chapter 11
deleting all my dating apps i wanna meet someone the old-fashioned way (getting teleported to an alternate apocalyptic universe where i replace an alternate version of myself with the help of an alternate version of my best friend who turned into an evil god in my timeline. together we start building the army that will defeat the devil and save the world and discover how to make living feel like its worth it)
remember that episode where jack made everyone start telling the truth and they didn't. they didn't have cas even. i cant finish this post
they literally COULDN'T have dean and cas be in proximity of each other in that ep. because. because
hi john winchester quick question - why did you leave salmondean alone in that motel room when you were hunting the shtriga? why would you need to? in the show’s lore - the shtriga works in annual cycles and goes through one town, ONE, each time. meaning that since the creature went after sam, presumably the motel was in the same town where the hunt was. so why did you need to leave the motel for days? where did you go? and moreover - we see in the “now” part of this episode that the shtriga isn’t particular with the order of the children. sometimes it takes the youngest first (two queens kid’s family), sometimes the oldest (the lay me down to sleep girl from the start of the ep) - what was the plan if it’s gone after dean first? sam’s how old here? four? five? you told dean to protect sam, but did you even think that dean might’ve been the first victim?
like basically all this is proof to me that john was using these kids as bait. he shows up pretty quickly when the shtriga’s attacking sam, once he realizes dean’s hesitating (he’s 9). he told dean not to leave the room at all for anything (bait’s not much use if it’s not on the hook.) and probably watched as dean took a walk and didn’t say anything. and then yelled at him later for putting sam in danger. and almost twenty years later dean is still blaming himself for all of it.
Yeah. Yeah. Also: as soon as the striga is gone he packs them up and leaves them with Pastor Jim. Which seems very much to indicate. That he had a safe place he could have dropped his children off at a moment’s notice while he hunted. the child killing monster. Instead of leaving them alone in the child-killing monster’s neighbourhood, which is the course he chose, for some reason,
I don't know if I made this post before so I'm going to make it again.
This post is a fave Sam post to me. And it's true. Part of Sam's issues is not trusting himself or his own wants and needs. Often because he doesn't even think it's his own or because he thinks it's monstrous and evil to have those at all.
But I really think it goes highly underappreciated how much that's not just his issues. Sam is the character in the show who struggles the most with psychosis, addiction (to blood btw!), as well as a highly specific experience of people and things around him not being real and/or being monstrous. I've definitely seen people talking about his issues with autonomy and control but it actually goes even further than that. Can we really say his beliefs are even irrational in his context?
Him thinking he's on the "knife's edge" of losing control over himself and his environment entirely, for example, is actually a completely valid fear for someone who struggles with actual addiction and isn't always in touch with the reality of his world.
Of course, his beliefs and repression end up making him more vulnerable to those very things, sure. But he's not fully wrong. As a character, he tends to be pretty All or Nothing. And often has issues getting his facts straight before getting his story straight ukwim? So if he believes, "If I allow myself to indulge in good food right now, I will end up drinking blood within the day", he's not correct but also not wrong. He might. It's a real possibility. So his only option is to lock in, neglect himself and others, and only focus on the one thing he has chosen to care about at this moment. (This one thing is smth that often gives him either control or an outcome...like saving Dean).
This is why I think he doesn't trust his needs (they might distract him and then he'd lose control...slippery slope but only half as a fallacy), but he does trust his wants. Wants are flexible to your emotional priorities at any given time without you actually having to process those emotions.
If he wants power after Dean's death, he is going to pursue it at full speed no brakes no stops. He trusts that want way more than he will trust a need to grieve or slow down or even a need to be human or eat food or have companionship. After all, he's highly limited in his ability to get his needs fulfilled anyways. And that's been true ever since he was a kid. The things he wants and needs have been incompatible with the reality of his situation. Let's say he wanted safety and status. Two things he was not able to ever prioritize when he was a kid. (His safety was prioritised but I don't think he sees it that way. He probably just thinks, like young Mary, that the hunting lifestyle was putting him and his family in danger. And again, he's half right).
And when his wants are incompatible with other people's needs....well, he's learned how to ignore that very effectively.
Wants are also great because they don't require you to integrate anything. You can choose to revise your memories and narratives in any you wish, and wants will still be there to guide your action if you let it. Sam motto: If you want something hard enough, you can make it happen. And to his credit, he often does. (Don't look at the cost. That's all very secondary).
sam is unbearable so many times in s1 … i try to give him some grace bc of his tragedy but he treats dean like a moron and an embarrassment so often. i actually really liked meg telling dean what sam said about him bc sam was so offended over what he said himself lol
dean is sam's punching bag. and i think that's a role dean has actively cultivated as well. especially in the conversation with meg in 1.11 and then the revisiting in 1.16. in 1.11 sam lashes out at dean because he can't really lash out at john. and in 1.16 sam can't quite stand by what he said because the truth is that it was just frustrated venting. but this dynamic arises because john made dean responsible for sam's safety as a kid while also emphasizing that sam was only safe with them while also himself alienating and frustrating sam to the point of wanting to run away. so, given that dynamic, it is far far far easier for dean to foster an environment where most of sam's frustration is vented at him rather than john. cause dean is there; dean won't push back; dean won't punish sam for his outbursts of frustration.
i'm also sure that given what we see in canon, dean absolutely downplayed his own intelligence and played into the "grunt" role for sam's benefit while they were still kids. sam so clearly felt left out and frustrated at being not included in hunting but we know both john and dean felt sam was in danger and were trying to protect him from that danger. so having sam be research boy means that he can feel included and needed and useful (powerful for keeping him around) doing research and computer stuff while john and dean are off doing the more dangerous parts. sam feels included *and* necessary especially if he feels the research part is unique to him; that dean just *can't* work it out on his own.
i mean this isn't even the only time dean downplays himself to make someone else feel better about themselves. i think about dean calling himself and mary "two terrible cooks" while meanwhile, we know dean is an excellent cook. it's a pattern of behavior.
i think for a lot of dean's life it's like... well a family member that's rolling their eyes at you or judging you or even yelling at you is a family member that's still in the room... :(
anyway, hi anon! thanks for the ask and for letting me go on a kind of tangent about it. although i suppose how could you have stopped me...
(also i have very specific eps im thinking of for these claims but im a little tired for listing them all at the mo but if anyone is curious just hmu)
I get so bummed in fics when Cas introduces himself to Dean as Cas and not Castiel. That’s the name DEAN gave him!!!! Not Gabe, not Hannah, not anyone else, DEAN!! Dean goes “oh I’m gonna be sayin this a lot gotta cut it down” and then REMOVED THE “OF GOD” FROM THE NAME OF AN ANGEL??? Cas coming to terms with that new identity and how it ties him to dean and not his family is soooooooooo juicy.
Castiel's family name / father is already built into his name. It's like if we wrote Deanwinchester like this.
i still think other secondary characters should have been more in awe/terrified/astounded when they meet cas. like. like we the audience and sam and dean, as his friends, are used to an angel hanging around. but cas is still like. a cosmic being that most hunters went their entire lives believing wasn’t real. remember in the beginning of 4.01, how scared the demons were of just one angel? i miss that
I think early seasons Cas would be very annoyed by sexual attraction and later seasons Cas would indulge in it like a hot bath
can u imagine. how it felt to be dean winchester. yearning and pining for 12 years over your angel boy best friend. you asked him out on dates and he repeatedly turned you down. you flirted with him. you prayed to him every night. you kept his moldy trench coat in your car. you made him a mixtape. can you imagine how it felt to stand in front of him as he cried and said all these things about how great you are. and then he says the one thing I want. I know I can’t have. he says I LOVE YOU. (!!!!!!!!!!!!) GOODBYE DEAN. and then he DIES