One of the most dangerous things about living so much of our lives online, is the fact that the things we put out onto the web are irretrievable. Protecting yourself is vital. You can not be too cautious when it comes to guarding yourself and your identity, but this particular post is about sharing media, mainly pictures and videos, online.
Whether you are in a LDR or a 24/7 live-in relationship, the reality of modern relationships is that they often involve media. D/s relationships in particular lend themselves to risqué images. There are a few points I think anyone who shares such images should consider, and so I’m going to step up on my very tiny soapbox for a moment, and I hope you’ll forgive me.
You do not owe anyone anything. Let me repeat that, in case it didn’t get through. You don’t owe anyone anything! It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married 40 years, if you are a slave, or if they’ve already sent you pictures and now it’s ‘your turn’. Consent is everything. Coerced consent is non-consent.
Trust yourself. Think it’s too soon? Have a strange feeling you can’t put your finger on? Back away. Anyone deserving of your images will be all too willing to wait until you are sure you’d like to share them.
Be smart. You can use a medium like Unsee.cc, which will temporarily store your pictures and try to impede downloading. You can use ‘Google Drive’, and limit the ways your media can be shared/downloaded. You can crop your face and identifying marks out of photos. You can be sure to never send private pictures through work emails, or Facebook accounts… There are a lot of precautions you can take, but the number one thing to remember is that nothing will protect you fully. You can make a watermarked and impossible to download image, and still someone could take a screenshot. Never share sensitive images with someone who does not have your complete trust.
Lastly, safety measures don’t only extend to those who share themselves, but to those who receive. If you have the privilege of someone sharing themselves with you, then treat that with the weight it deserves. It doesn’t matter if they are found to be a liar, an asshole, or a cheater… they are human. Rise above and choose to treat them with respect, even if it feels like they don’t deserve it. Delete those files.
I encourage anyone with further advice to comment and add their views as well. Stay safe all!
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